Big Boy Fox has you covered, pre-game at Noon EST, kickoff 12:30. Dunno whether Gus Johnson and his miscast-for-lesser-footy enthusiasm will be announcing again or not. He really drives the ex-pats bonkers, FWIW.
The matchup between Manure and Crystal Palace will have a damned strange feel for a final. The perpetually alcoholic ruddy-looking Louis van Gaal is getting the sack immediately after the match (nice of the club to leak the news overnight), win or lose, to be replaced by the pictured Special One. This brings me a personal mixture of relief and disappoint, as Mourinho was likely Everton-bound had LVG stayed on with United. He’s a very effective manager, until the players get sick of him and revolt (as Chelski hilariously did this season), but Christ, what a fucking asshole. As long as my Toffees now do the sensible thing and immediately snap up the unfairly scapegoated (and forced to coach out almost a entire season neutered, but still made the CL semis) Manuel Pelligrini, I will be extremely happy.
Plus, if’n we end up doing as has been strongly whispered and siphon away Soton’s Koeman, I’m afraid Sill will renounce his Quakerism and burn my fucking house down.
On the other sidelines, you have tracksuit-sporting (but in no way a King like our buddy Huggy Bear) Alan Pardew. His Palace side have won maybe two League games since Boxing Day. I shit you not. Apparently, he will keep his job and take them down next season.
Enjoy the confusing action, and stay tuned FOAR HAWT DFO coverage of teh Euros and South American Euros! VIVA!!!!!
Yay! Not a shut out. So sad that that is what I am looking to hang my hat on.
Maybe if there is a game of endless overtimes, and neither team is able to skate a full roster due to death by dehydration, then goal differential will be the tiebreaker.
Ugh. It’s like I can feel empathy for the Ice Stillers.
Fuck. I guess it had to happen soon enough.
Oh God. Bar prep begins again tomorrow.
I can only do Bar prep once a month when I’m having my mens rea.
Good luck with that all!
can you buy horsemeat and/or glue from a specific, euthanized racehorse? Asking for a friend.
It’s to grind the hooves into a fine powder, combine with sulfuric acid, then inject the mixture directly into the penis. Your Saturday night will be quite something.
Just watched the last airbender on this flight. Whiskey tango foxtrot?
inorite? where did all the blue tits go?
You know how I said I was going to the gym earlier?
I changed my mind.
I grabbed my Vikings cap, plugged in the ipod, grabbed the walking shoes and headed to the beach.
I walked over 5 miles.
My cardio is a bit off and my pace was slower than normal but I made it.
It was fucking beautiful! Brought a big smile to my face and a tear to the eye.
I’ll do the gym tomorrow.
“You walked 5 miles? Good for you. [rolls eyes]”
-The Proclaimers
That was much funnier than it should’ve been.
WOOHOO!
Good on ya’, babe! Showing off your fancy new knee!
Wow! International Political Lightweight Nation won the game!
Unbelievable save by the Mission Accomplished! goalie.
Stephen Harper’s God-Awful Legacy can’t buy a goal!
Extraordinary Rendition can’t buy a goal!
Whew! Tons of pressure by Broken Democratic Process! I hope Oil Sands Defenders are up to the task.
The Poutine Suckers are up 4-3.
I’m sorry. I thought you said…something else.
Seems like the entire The Canada team is comprised of former #1 Edmonton Oiler draft picks…
Jesus Palace
serious
The Serial Apologists are putting a shit ton of pressure on The Kissinger Apologists.
/3-3 after the 2nd
Man U down to 10, prepare for extreme turtling.
The answer to “how bad did it have to be?” – Smalling dove at a Palace player and tackled him by the ankle, NFL style. Whilst already on a yellow.
Re: paint drying
“I don’t know about you, but I enjoy watching paint dry. I imagine that the wet paint is a big freshwater lake that is the only source of water for some tiny cities by the lake. As the lake gets drier, the population gets more desperate, and sometimes there are water riots. Once there was a big fire and everyone died.”
– not Jack Handey
The Canada has tied it up against The Exceptionalisms.
Woo hoo 205 lbs bench press!
you did mean 2 OR 5, right??
Konichiwa.
Sitting Bull.
/we’re doing famous Native American chiefs from the 1800’s, right?
Team Too Big To Fail is up 3-2.
The Unholy Stinkers have drawn even.
I think the NBA would be greatly improved if it was played on an international hockey-sized court.
two words – hand grenades
And on ice
They figured out how to make the NBA insanely awesome but everyone kept getting injured.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ouXw328WYI
poor Palace. Gonna lose thanks to an OG
The Dirty Oppressors scored one.
In the spirit of Canadia, here’s The Strumbellas with maybe my new favourite depressing song (which I first heard this morning):
Canada up 2-nil (huh? huh?) on The Scars and Gripes.
Down with capitalist pig-dogs!!!
looked level to me
Orange slice break!!
/also, Clattenberg is a shite ref, there to make sure Manure get the trophy
Do you want bees? Cause orange slices at halftime is how you get bees.
“We probably never would have gotten caught if we had just given everyone B’s.”
– UNC administrators
hey Balls, can you do a preview FOAR Most Glorious CL finale next Saturday? Since you like, follow La Liga and know something about the two sides.
Yes, no worries. I’ll put it together this weekend and we can schedule it as the saturday morning open thread for next weekend.
Think I’m going to hit the gym.
Some stationary bike and then throw some weights around.
I’m almost ready to work the heavy bag.
It’s good to be (almost) back.
No need to rush yourself back, there are plenty of places around L.A. where you can get them to work the heavy bag for you.
What about teh hockey? Canada is taking on those dumb brutes from uh, hmmm… Canada is playing some team in the semi-finals of the International Hockey Championship today.
again…paint
Horse racing?
appropriately…sniffing glue?
I would have gone with sniffing Old Paint…
The Tour of California? (Stage 6)
AT&T Byron Nelson Classic?
America’s Cup Yachting?
Increasing whiteness with each step. THAT’S GOOD HONKY HUSTLE!!!
Ahhhh, here it is-The FIVB Cinncinnati Open Women’s Beach Volleyball Finals.
The rink is so big it confuses me.
Alternatively, I could go dribble some paint onto the sidewalk outside and watch it fucking dry. van Gaal and Pardew, everybody!!! Feel teh excite.
Anyone know whether a Palace win would knock Saints out of Europa qualification?
I beginning to think their is an inversely proportional relationship between how milquetoast a nation’s anthem and how significant their national power is/was.
also, here’s your Hippo reminder that Wayne Rooney fucking sucks and with the retirement of Steven “Slippy G” Gerrard, the new “most overrated player in England.”
ANTHEM TIME:
Did the singer botch the anthem?
I muted it until kickoff
What happened to my 4 day weekend?
It’s all lies!!!!!
But I do have most of a 4 day weekend next week.
HOT COPA AMERICA COVERAGE COMING AT YA!!
http://sc01.alicdn.com/kf/HTB11Q_WKXXXXXauXXXXq6xXFXXXe/hottest-sale-face-and-body-paintings-In.jpg_220x220.jpg