Your Memorial Day Monday Open Thread

A brief soliloquy:

All my aunts on my father’s side married US soldiers. There was a NORAD base outside Kirkland Lake, Ontario back in the 1960s. I once asked my aunt why she married an American, and she said, “Robert, I looked at your uncle, and then I looked at my choices in Kirkland Lake. I wanted to see the world, and he was a handsome man.” ‘Nuff said.

All of those uncles served in Vietnam, and one served in proximity to Captain America, so that made him a Cowboys fan for life. I gotta respect that, like I respect anyone who’s put on their country’s uniform. I hope all the US DFOers are having a good holiday Monday.

Here’s a couple of good links to history pages about war vets who played in the NFL. Rocky Bleier will never not be impressive.


Continuing the military theme, Keenan Reynolds – Ravens 6th-round pick in 2016 – and Chargers undrafted signee Chris Swain were given permission to defer their service requirements until after the end of their playing days. Cue the old guys complaining kids today have it soft.

The Admiral also has a question or two.

NFL News:

  • Well well well – a former Inglewood city employee is claiming the mayor & pro-football council members cooked the books to make Inglewood look financially stable in advance of the NFL decision on relocation.
    • Because the source for the story is Florio’s lunatic lounge, you can imagine the quality of comments.
  • Also at PFT, they have a breakdown on why certain owners prefer or oppose Vegas for the Raiders.
  • Ryan Fitzpatrick has issue with being paid $12 million to be considered better than Geno Smith.
If anyone can bring back Zubaz, it’s this man.

In this week’s Acela Excreta:

  • Petey decided to let Jenny Vrentas write this week’s episode, while separately penning a letter bravely maintaining his stance of not using “[*Redacted] s”, despite polls numbers showing ambivalence. “THIS IS MY SOAPBOX!” he declared, while not calling it a soapbox. Among her highlights:
    • “No Super Bowl loser has been back to the big game the next season in 23 years. But don’t bet against Riverboat Ron Rivera and the Panthers.” HOT TAEK!!!
    • She also reviews the Raiders-to-Vegas rumours, and covers the dollars and cents which is driving people like Bob McNair to begrudgingly support such an idea
    • A nice segue on all the Jags injuries into a major story about Paul Posluszny and the nine years he has spent in Jaxson De Ville’s shadow hoping for a winning season.
    • Finally, the main portion of the article concludes with a recap of an interview with the Ryan brothers, and what they hope to bring to western NY this Fall.
  • I didn’t care about the rest of the article past there, so I stopped.

I bet he felt pretty smug when they announced the dates for the Cup Finals. Monday, May 30th looked perfect for Gary Bettman – the start of a new week; other sports usually run lighter schedules; major networks have ended their seasons, so there’d be no broadcast competition; and Monday Night RAW ratings suck. After a difficult year, and a playoff season that saw no Canadian teams at all & all the major-US market teams go out early, the best case scenario was what he was delivered.

And then Klay Thompson happened.

If you look closely, you can see pinpoint the exact moment when the souls of the front row left their bodies.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! Now all anyone can talk about is the NBA and Game 7, and I couldn’t be happier. Released ratings info from last week show the NHL playoffs not only getting trounced by the NBA (0.6 versus 3.0) but also by the NBA pregame show (0.6 vs 0.7), and Eastern Conference Game 7 viewers were down 23% from last year.

It really doesn’t help San Jose to be opening their otherwise-notable first-ever Cup Final in the shadow of their Bay-area sports brethren. If the Warriors win, and the Sharks get walloped, it’s pretty much lights-out for coverage from today forward.

Brent Burns - 2016playoffs
Brent Burns will always be Covalent Blonde’s favourite.

Tonight’s “Kill or be killed” playoff action:

NBA: Game 7 – OKC @ Golden State – 9:00

NHL: Game 1 – Finals – San Jose @ Pittsburgh – 8:00

  • Prediction: Penguins in 6.

Other stuff, because you are done with sports?

  • DISXD: BattleBots – 7:30. You’re learning what the fuss is about. Watch some in prep for the June 23 premiere.
  • History: Roots – 9:00. We don’t get the new series in Canada, but I hear this remake’s not bad.
    • I remember watching the original. I don’t think the new one will have the same “shock value”, but hopefully has accurate history.
  • TCM:
    • Where Eagles Dare – 8:00
    • Kelly’s Heroes – 10:45

The kid in me who grew up watching Jack Sikma is rooting for the Warriors. WHO YA GOT?!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Spur

You’re telling me if I use Crest White Strips I’ll be as attractive as those girls??

litre_cola

Just got a plate of nachos with 9 chips on it. Cheese was melted with veggies. Looked at the server. She asked me if I was bitchy. No, no I am not.

Unsurprised

Burn the place down.

litre_cola

I have been told veggies are like black people here. Not here friend.

Spur

Hockey. I can’t keep track of the puck.

Covalent Blonde

Then let me tell you, the 90’s were your thing!

litre_cola

The fluorescent puck was well received.

Senor Weaselo

Did someone say laser puck?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grOttsHuuzE

Spur

E40 should have done the national anthem

ballsofsteelandfury

Meanwhile,

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Shit dude….that needs to get inserted (giggity) into my Brasil futbol preview before it goes live.
Which I still haven’t scheduled.
I might be a lazy fuck…..I’ll bet back to you on this.

Covalent Blonde

Is the Full Brazilian also known as, “I might have OCD”? Just asking. For a friend.

...

Provided the waxing result is perfectly symmetrical, I’d say all of these can appease the OCD-afflicted.

Covalent Blonde

Unsteady hands. My friend. My friend has unsteady hands.

ballsofsteelandfury

As I Googled, I discovered there is such a thing as a male Brazilian. Is that something ladies are actually interested in or is that for gay men only?

Covalent Blonde

All I can say is that if your lady friend is busy pulling a Brillo pas off her tongue, maybe trimming isn’t a terrible idea. So my friends tell me.

...

Personally, I find removing my Brillo pad to be an enjoyable activity, but that’s me.

Spur

Hockey Game. I root for San Jose right? Because fuck Pittsburgh and the by extension the Steelers.

Covalent Blonde

Damn straight.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

That is the correct way to watch it

ballsofsteelandfury

Hey!

Gratliff
Spur

Bill Walton looks old as shit.

Redshirt

I think the last hockey game I watch was in 1997.

Spur

Does Singler really need to warm up?

litre_cola

How many orgasms so far WCS?

WCS

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I am guessing 2

Covalent Blonde

Too goddamned many.

Covalent Blonde

Kill me now. You’re killing me, Jones.

Redshirt

Its kind of refreshing to be reading comments like these instead of giving them.

WCS

CHUH CHUH

Spur

What channel is the Stanley cup even on?

Covalent Blonde

NBC

theeWeeBabySeamus

That was some understatedly funny shit.

Spur

OKC better hope Westbrook spoke with Master Splinter to get some advice before this game

theeWeeBabySeamus

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WCS

Bryan Rust > You

Covalent Blonde

Fuck

litre_cola

I am in Newfoundland Sportsing starts so late. No Mountain time zone!

ballsofsteelandfury

That’s “Atlantic” time zone, right?

Or, more commonly referred to as hot Brazilian time zone.

litre_cola

yes plus half an hour as they want to be different. Trust me these drunks are different. This place is the booziest in North America. NO ONE DENIES THIS.

Covalent Blonde

That, good BeerGuyRob, is one handsome wookie. Pretty fantastic photography there!

Senor Weaselo

Hi Covalent. How drunk are you thus far?

Covalent Blonde

About three drinks too light so far I can tell you this much.

Spur

Do people still want Warriors to lose or for OKC to choke this one away? As a Spurs fan, fuck OKC. That team was stolen.

WCS

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Covalent Blonde

I’m obviously pretty into the Warriors winning for my homer tendencies, but there have been a lot of games where they sure didn’t look like Championship teams.

Not to mention, the ‘meteor’ potential for a rematch of last year has some charm.

litre_cola

OKC to win Small market fan.

Spur

Andy Samberg gets more handsome each time i see him.

/no homo

Don T

I saw him and thought he looks like a young Andy Sam holy shit it’s him!

King Hippo

I really love Brooklyn Nine-Nine, and still would like Samberg fired directly into the sun.

ballsofsteelandfury

I think I know why

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I’ll have you know that I used to watch the soap opera she was on (can’t even remember which it was) just because of her.

We like her.

Unsurprised

I agree. And I’ll have balls know that I’m Team Diaz.

http://www.geeksofdoom.com/GoD/img/2015/05/brooklyn-nine-nine-221-06.jpg

ballsofsteelandfury

They’re both quite lovely. I’m #TeamDiazSantiagoSandwich

ballsofsteelandfury

Words to live by.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Evening gents.
Finally we got some fucking sports that matter.
OLD TIME HOCKEY!!!!!!
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Spur

Chris Webber has to be one of the best to not win a ring… right?

WCS

Karl Malone, John Stockton, and Shawn Kemp’s 43 children.

Don T

Did Shaq eat Abdullah the Butcher? He also looks sleepy. Is this normal?

King Hippo

YOU try digesting that much human gristle ,, smh

Spur

C Webb’s barber must cost $$$$$$$$$

WCS

Unsurprised

Headed to the hot tub (NSFW)

h
ttp://67.media.tumblr.com/f3b4c979c9d43e8003d82a9f82115d89/tumblr_nzluj9CLoN1ru873no1_500.gif

ballsofsteelandfury

Oh my!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Excuse me for a moment. I have to go….ummmm….take care of something.

laserguru

Here’s tonight’s featured protein:
New York strip steaks.

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I also grilled a couple of pork chops and baked some potatoes. Today’s high was 67 with mostly sunny skies.

Life ain’t ALL bad.

ballsofsteelandfury

67? That’s sweater weather!

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Unsurprised

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King Hippo

Ice Stiller 1st third Dale’s Pale Ale? OPEN!

King Hippo

I’m not talking about NBA Game 7. Who gives a shit about the NBA? Also, the home team always wins. Usually by about 40, accompanied by a lot of annoying, loud bass thumpery.

...

Interestingly, the record of teams who went down 3-1 and forced a Game 7 on their home court is 7-7.

So what I’m saying the home team will win by about 40.

ballsofsteelandfury

You tell me who the refs are and I’ll tell you who wins.

That’s the NBA in a nutshell.

Redshirt

The pool is open. I repeat, the pool is open.

THIS IS NOT A DRILL!

ballsofsteelandfury

No candy bars allowed!!!

Unsurprised

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ballsofsteelandfury

That’s a GREAT look!

JustStopDude

So all this week at work, I got to scramble to get together a training program for a group of four individuals. My company sold them training at something like $3600 a pop. For some reason, the bright idea to use a field engineer on medical hold, with a severe speech impediment is the perfect resource for this.

Last week I blew up the simulator…so that is not available. I’ve been trying to get information from our sales department as to who the fuck these people are, which companies they represent, their actual positions (am I dealing with site technicians, plant supervisors, engineers?), and what their particular applications are.

I just now found out that two of them are from a facility that makes steam turbines and use our drive for balance measurements. Basically they spin a turbine in a vacuum at high speed to figure out critical frequencies. The other two are from a mining equipment supply company and the sales guy “thinks” its for a mine hoist application. So we are talking about motors with torque applications and very severe safety restrictions depending on if this is a manned elevator or just for equipment.

These two fucking applications could not be further from each other. The sales guy doesn’t understand why I need to know more than this. I ask which drive interface tool they are using…he asks why it matters…

“Bill…please stop fucking with me. You have to realize we sell two different versions of drive software. Which one am I suppose to have material generated to teach from?”

“I’m sure they will tell you when they show up”

$3600 a pop…I cannot even…why do we fuck this up so bad every fucking time?!?

Gratliff

Because all business preparation ends when a price is reached. It’s a core principle of American economics.

Unsurprised

Your bosses are why my legal writing professor taught us to draft everything with a bad faith reader in mind.

JustStopDude

The frustrating thing is that we had a training guy who got burned out dealing with this, so he quit abruptly and moved across the US.

Its not a bad job except 1) I am currently doing another position within the company and 2) they expect the perfect person for the training position that doesn’t exist. Effectively they want a field engineer to take a massive paycut to work in the office all the time except for when they get sent to a site for training.

Gratliff

Let’s go, Sharks! Despite all evidence to the contrary, you can do it!

Horatio Cornblower

Kelly’s Heroes at 10:45?

Well, like, forget going to bed early tonight baby.

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Senor Weaselo

Probably my favorite war movie.

WCS

Go Pens, fuckers.
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ballsofsteelandfury

Got an answer for the scroll?

WCS

Waist-deep.

King Hippo

aren’t you glad to have learned the word “meconium?”

ballsofsteelandfury

Isn’t Yeah Right”s birthday soon?

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laserguru

Not until October but thanks for the sentiment.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m actually afraid to ask what, exactly, the sentiment was.

ballsofsteelandfury

Meanwhile, at Yeah Right’s house,

http://i1.shuttur.com/naked%20girl%20cooking.jpg

Senor Weaselo

Did I just get a shout-out? Best day ever. Unless/until one of the builders link to this. Anyway, go Sharks!
http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/kenny-the-shark/images/b/b1/01_07-sealpop_0195.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20130522041322
And, go Warriors I guess. Better shot of beating the LeBrons.

ballsofsteelandfury

Can someone post this outside Covalent’s door?

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Unsurprised

I thought she goes out to watch the games.

Senor Weaselo

I expect minute-to-minute updates of life from Miss Covalent.

ballsofsteelandfury

I wish I could have this for dessert tonight:

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Unsurprised

Get out of my head!

King Hippo

“oh man, that’s CHOCOLATE??”

– R Kelly

ballsofsteelandfury

That man is not a dickhead. He is the reincarnation of Hitler.

ballsofsteelandfury

She just made a bad move. WHY IS SHE NOT STRIPPING?

laserguru

The grill is lit. Just finished the chops and the steaks are sizzlin’.
I’ll see if I can drop a photo of them in a bit.

JustStopDude

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JustStopDude
Unsurprised

I hope he’s dead now.

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