Your “It’s Tuesday; What Now, Cleveland?” Open Thread

Title chosen because Big Daddy Drew has an excellent Funbag! response to a question about how Cleveland can avoid becoming Boston.

Win another, or you’re just Trent Dilfer.

NFL News:

  • Joe Flacco says the hardest part of his ACL recovery is the mental aspect. That doesn’t sound like a elite quarterback talking.
  • Marquise Goodwin of the Bills has Olympic trials in the long jump coming. He has the full support of Rex Ryan, probably because Rex misunderstood what Goodwin meant by “28 feet”.
  • Alabama junior Cam Robinson got the “insufficient evidence” tag attached to his offseason arrest in Louisiana, so expect a new Crimson-colored wing to be added to the Monroe, Louisiana courthouse very soon.
    • this comes on the heels of the admission by the DA that he let them off easy because they play football and he didn’t want to ruin their lives. Nice to see the Notre Dame excuse used in a situation not involving rape.
  • What the Hell, Davone Bess?
  • In the “I don’t think so” department, Matt Stafford thinks it’ll be harder for opposing teams without Megatron around. Losing what you call a “once in a lifetime receiver” tends to make life easier for opposing teams, because none of the other guys know how to bail you out.

Finally, the guy who owns this jersey says he’s going to retire it, thanks to the Cavs victory. Now that there’s been a success, he figures it’s time to stop dwelling in the past. “It’s time to let go of all that negative energy”, said a man on his first step towards becoming a Masshole.


In a couple of days, the British referendum on leaving the EU happens. As a Canadian, I have passing interest because it’s all over the damned news. You heard about the passions at play, because of that MP who was assassinated in her home riding by a nativist. It has even divided the political parties, pitting Tory against Tory & Labour against Labour.

Beyond the potential economic impact – the Pound has fluctuated wildly in the last two weeks; trade deals would have to be renegotiated – comes the national impact of the vote. A good number of the Scottish relatives have said they would want Scotland to have another referendum if Britain votes to leave, because Scotland wants to stay in the EU.

Here are some primers on what the stakes are:

Here’s the official question:

“Should the United Kingdom remain a member of the European Union or leave the European Union?”

Given, as a Canadian, I’m used to Quebec sovereignty questions that border on the ludicrously ambiguous, I’m delighted that it’s a simple and direct choice for people.


Tonight’s sports:

Copa: USA vs Argentina – 9:00 – NRG Stadium, Houston

The victor gets the winner of Colombia – Chile on June 26 at MetLife Stadium. The loser gets to play for third place in Glendale on June 25th. SEEMS ABOUT RIGHT!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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King Hippo

Funes Mori says nyet!!

JustStopDude

Dear god…Landon’s dumbass comments now gets me worried that there are people moronic enough to blame Jurgen for this loss.

As if any manager could overcome such a massive talent difference.

King Hippo

Univision guy just went all like “ay yi yi” ala Bumblebee Man!

Sill Bimmons
rockingdog

christian pulisic and yedlin are my two favorite players on the USA squad.
but shit Pulisic just passed on a great look… damit

JustStopDude

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Sill Bimmons

Minted but never authorized by Congress:

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JustStopDude

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SonOfSpam

Angels just turned a double play that you’ll definitely see on SportsCenter, provided anyone still watches SportsCenter, which nobody does.

herodotus450

Was it a 2-6 tag em out throw em out after a dropped third strike as the runner on first was trying to steal?

SonOfSpam

It was not, but that’s pretty cool too.

Doktor Zymm

SportsCenter is still on?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

You know what you won’t see on sportscenter? USMNT highlights.

Horatio Cornblower

Landon Donovan with a Trump-like shot at those lazy, quitting Mexicans.

SonOfSpam

Our wall might keep out Mexicans, but it won’t keep out a Messi free kick.

Horatio Cornblower

That kick was a thing of beauty.

Horatio Cornblower

And now Donovan says “I’ve always said that goals change games”

Take the rest of the night off kid. I think we can keep up without you.

rockingdog

he just said “ive always said goals change games”. uh dua

rockingdog

duh

rockingdog

argentina now has 10 men
USA gonna score?

Horatio Cornblower

Talk to me at 8.

Senor Weaselo

8 men down?

Horatio Cornblower

I’m truly stunned that Jurgen isn’t screaming for a handball on the guy who flipped over the wall.

JustStopDude

Lloyds of London is currently shitting bricks…

Horatio Cornblower

Why, are the Argentines about to default on their international loan obligations again?

evilbeaver8

That Argintinean fellow flipping over the sign is easily the highlight for the US team tonight

Horatio Cornblower

The US is currently ranked 31st in the world.

This score may actually be reasonable.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Always loved that one.
And how very apropos this evening.

Horatio Cornblower

The only way the US beats Argentina is if the Falklands are somehow involved.

JustStopDude

We just broke Messi…so this may actually happen…

JustStopDude

Derp…this is what I get trying to cook and comment at the same time. Wrong Argentinian.

Horatio Cornblower

It’s OK, they all look alike.

(I mean they’re wearing the same uniform you racists)

SonOfSpam

We’re good at soccer like the GOP is good at picking presidential candidates.

evilbeaver8

The large woman who did Adele song (x) is now doing a competent rendition of “Let’s Stay Together”. I am confused and also I want to watch Pulp Fiction.

Senor Weaselo

Imagine if the U.S. somehow came baaahahahaha that’s not fucking happening.

theeWeeBabySeamus

You mean like everybody at once?

Senor Weaselo

I just realized my phrasing on this one… which also works.

Horatio Cornblower

Well the US strategy of letting Chris Wondolowski continue to fulfill his Make-A-Wish to be on the USMNT while his teammates focus on throat-punching various Argentines doesn’t seem to working.

Let’s see what the next 35 minutes brings.

Senor Weaselo

Just don’t give up another 4.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

– Democratic strategists to Bob Shrum after hearing he’d been put in charge of yet another presidential campaign.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Nice job giving up on the play, #6.

Sill Bimmons
evilbeaver8

Argentina might actually be better at soccer than the US.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

WHEN DID THEY CHANGE THE RULES SO THE FIRST KICK DOESN’T HAVE TO GO FORWARD?

Sorry.

[adjusts hearing aid]

When did they change the rules so the first kick doesn’t have to go forward?

Doktor Zymm

I think they turned up the speakers at Wrigley, I can hear the Anthem now

Doktor Zymm

my bad, that was the 7th inning stretch. I’m distracted by the fact that I just spent the last hour doing cardio tennis drills, and it’s 85 degrees in my apartment and the water from the fridge tastes funny and I really want to make a tall mojito right now but the only ingredient I have is the ice.

herodotus450
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Do you think even Alexi Lalas can stand Alexi Lalas?

theeWeeBabySeamus

At least I can switch back to el beisbol without worrying about missing anything in the 2nd half of this shitshow.

JustStopDude

Oh for fuck sakes US announcing team…there was already a fucking yellow card given to a US player.

King Hippo

and that should be a red for the US keeper.

JustStopDude

Not sure at all what Klinman is complaining about because the US should be down to 9 players.

This team looks fucking insanely outclassed so they are resorting to bush league petty shit.

evilbeaver8

Adele has inspired millions of large women to karaoke.

Unsurprised

And from my experiences at karaoke, sing better than she does.

evilbeaver8

She’s the whitewashed British version of soul music all the suburban white housewives can agree on!

...

Every time I hear that song “Hello” I think of this:

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

SonOfSpam

This is one of my all time favorite memes because it’s awesome and because I own a dopey Newfoundland.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR RUNNING OFFSIDES! THAT’S WHAT YOU GET!

makeitsnowondem

I can’t imagine why you’d even think you could do something about Messi if you’re the USA. Hopeless.

JustStopDude

Nancy Kerrigan his ass…

Unsurprised
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Anybody else kinda see a vagina in that pic?

evilbeaver8

Just this picture?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Not even a little.
And I’m REALLY trying!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Reply fail…’twas uhsposed to be to BFC’s vagina….so to speak.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I resemble that remark

Unsurprised

Instead I’m watching Mad Max because … Mad Max. I just got to the dust storm from Hell.

http://overmental.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/madmax-furyroad-gifs-39-26617.gif

Sill Bimmons
Unsurprised

FUUUUUUUUCK NO

Sill Bimmons
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Travel tip: when the temperature is in the mid to high 90s, double check that your hotel has air conditioning because apparently it’s 1952.

King Hippo

THAT would get me to create a TripAdvisor account and leave a review…

BrettFavresColonoscopy

4 stars on tripadvisor

JustStopDude

I’ve stayed in many a shitty room.

Clear winner in the US was the Days Inn Motor Lodge of Blytheville Arkansas.

Unsurprised

Burn it down.

King Hippo

starting a fire is my go-to remedy for damned near everything.

Unsurprised

And the fire department’s hoses will cool him down.

JustStopDude
evilbeaver8

I think the US is putting up an admirable fight for a team playing 9 v 11.

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I think it’s really funny that all of the power teams in Europe are being slotted into the same side of the bracket in the Euros.

King Hippo

me too. Poland could easily make the final. Or Croatia. Won’t that make Los Frogs happy…

Senor Weaselo

Chaos. Chaos everywhere.

...

Only one of Italy, France, England, Germany, and Spain can make the final.

King Hippo

Love how boned England is. I hate Roy Hodgson so fucking much.

Sill Bimmons
...

If Portugal draw, they could end up as runners up in the group. If that happened, they’d face England. If England won that match, they’d potentially get France. If they won that they’re they’re likely to get to one of Germany, Spain, or Italy.

They’re hilariously fucked.

...

And it’s still possible for Portugal and Belgium to end up on that side of the bracket!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

So would you say England is a power bottom?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Shit, it’s hard to be *that* mad. It was a really nice free kick.

JustStopDude

I’m feeling a double digit loss. The US starts getting more stupid penalties so we go down one or more men. 3-0 at half time…11-1 final…because Messi scores an own goal on purpose for shits and giggles…and to fuck with the record books..

Unsurprised

I wish I could watch the game.

King Hippo

TEH LITTLE GENIUS ,, ppl forget that