Your “It’s The Methadone We Get” Thursday Open Thread

NFL News:

  • Terry Pegula said the Bills are going forward with looking at ideas about a new stadium. The lease on The Ralph goes through 2022, and there’s hints they may move downtown.
  • It’s hard to tell if DeMarco Murray is happy to be in Tennessee or happy to be away from Chip Kelly. You decide; it might be both.
  • Ben Affleck was on Simmons’ first HBO show last night, and Florio thinks he was drunk. You be the judge:

  • If you didn’t read it, Sill has a pretty good analysis of the first show, and how living up your own ass prevents you from seeing the world pass you by.

Finally, Merton Hanks has left the NFL offices to be Conference USA’s new senior associate commissioner, and will be in charge of football & baseball operations. I would hope he’d lighten the rules on penalizing touchdown celebrations.


So, CFL season opens tonight, with your Hamilton Tiger-Cats heading up to BMO Field to take on your Toronto Argonauts, before a probable semi-capacity crowd of aboot 28,000. [They say it holds 30,991, but that might be for the soccer team.] Anyway, it should look better than when they played in a 2/3 empty Rogers Centre / Skydome.

In case you’ve forgotten from The Maestro’s previews – two East Division opponents tonight, so here – the CFL season is 18-games in length, so the quality of play tonight will be about NFL preseason game #3, but without all the swapping out of starters after the first half.

So you don’t think you’ve gone crazy, remember:

  • the field is 110-yards long, with 20-yard endzones
  • teams can elect to start from the 35 after a field goal
  • there’s a 5-yard “no yards” zone around kick returners before they catch the ball
  • all the receivers can be in motion

It’s the football you need, maybe just not the football you want.


Brief Observances:

  • Led Zeppelin won their copyright case over “Stairway to Heaven”. The key phrase from the jury’s verdict is that “original elements of Spirit’s song are not extrinsically similar” to “Stairway to Heaven.”
  • Brexit results are expected at 0600 GMT, so 0100 EDT/2200 PDT. Current polling prior to the vote (the UK does not allow for exit polling) had “Remain” up by only 1%, but who knows what’ll happen when people are actually confronted with the choice.
  • In a city known for bad drivers, here’s a look at what happens when you take Mom’s Porsche out for a drive when you don’t have a licence:

https://youtu.be/TwZwSIrMLmk


Speaking of teenagers, I have to invigilate an English 12 Provincial Exam tomorrow. It’s a fairly straight-forward exercise, but there is some peril. Since it’s worth 40% of the overall mark, you have to keep your eye out for two things:

  1. cheating
  2. freak outs

The cheating is fairly easy to spot. The one thing different aspect this year is making sure kids take off their Apple watches. It’s easy to spot a kid looking at a phone, because their chin disappears into their chest as they try to look-down-but-not-look-like-they’re-looking-down. It’s the freakouts that are hard. It always starts with the pen stab on the desk, and then can go in a bunch of different directions:

  • the cryer
  • the runner
  • the swearer
  • the stabber (in the hand/arm/leg with same pen)
  • the fainter

The key is to locate the initial site of the noise; then you can observe to see where it might go next. It’s a two-hour exam, with an extra hour provided on the end, for all students due to individual “learning differences”.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NBA: The Draft – 7:00 – ESPN
    • Only two rounds? NOT A REAL DRAFT!
  • CFL: Hamilton @ Toronto – 7:30 – TSN; ESPNEWS
    • Here’s a link to the ESPN broadcast schedule for the CFL. All games are available on ESPN3, and 20 will be shown on ESPN2 or NEWS.

You’ll notice a drop-off on the broadcast network once NFL preseason rolls into gear. Hmmm – NO COINCIDENCE THERE!

 

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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ballsofsteelandfury

ALXMAC

swedish chef – koffie

https://youtu.be/LnZlyViBgiM

Sill Bimmons
theeWeeBabySeamus

NAWT Sunday Gravy quality.
Just saying.

ALXMAC

I am disappointed and confused that Sill Bimmons was not an alias for Bill Simmons, but this repost from my FB page is for him:

I first heard this hauntingly beautiful song a few months ago while watching the movie High-Rise (9/10 on the ALXMAC movie scale) and thought to myself “Is this Portishead? This sounds like Portishead”.

After the movie ended I tried to find the song online and was surprised to find that:

A – it was originally an (uptempo) ABBA song.

B – Portishead did cover it, but for whatever reason would not release it as a single or even allow it to be promoted online (youtube, streaming sites, etc.). One article I read said that the band didn’t want to detract from the songs emotional impact/scene in the movie.

Cheers to Portishead for finally releasing it as an apt tribute to Jo Cox.

“We have far more in common than which divides us.”

https://youtu.be/WVe-9VWIcCo

Sill Bimmons
Brocky

It’s like the robot equivalent of entrails being ripped out.

Fucking savage

Shogun Marcus

Never had a chance.

herodotus450

Ate all my food but still hungry; the ultimate fat guy conundrum.

rockingdog

I just visited my friends work and he has a vending machine. so i picked up some M&M’s.
Question for you guys: When you go to the vending machine at work, whats your go to snack?
I like peanut M&M’s….

theeWeeBabySeamus

I rarely go that route these days, but Snickers/Milky Way, or PB Crackers is usually the way I used to lean. Now I’d rather just go hungry.

Brocky

Usually a butterfinger. The sweetness gives me a pick me up. The crunch gives it a litgle bit more substance. Don’t care from the sticky residue you get from caramel

...

I’d weirdly pick apart the water layers and each them one at a time.

Sill Bimmons

If weirdly picking apart the water layers and eaching them one at a time is wrong, I don’t wanna be right.

Sill Bimmons
ALXMAC

I’m late to the party but this is for tWBS:

https://youtu.be/cdTF3S9TWeo

(great movie and one of the greatest opening scenes EVAR)

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yikes, that brings back memories.
Thanks for that.
But I am confident that she’ll never throw anything at me or anyone else ever again.

rockingdog

this Cashback movie seems pretty good. its british? ok then!
Im gonna mark this then save it for a date-night movie with the girlfriend.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pa24e4VTyKQ

...

I’ve seen it. It’s interesting although a girl might find the fact a guy is really taking advantage of women to be a bit offputting.

ALXMAC

Intermission – Opening Scene – Colin Farrell

https://youtu.be/W8EGCC9NNvo

Unsurprised

Is that Steven Seagal?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Thank goodness the local FD was nearby.

Brocky

That’s bs. Disco had that fight the whole time.

I’m the only one watching the robots aren’t I?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I will but it’s not on here yet.

Brocky

My bad. I’ll stop with the spoilers

Shogun Marcus

Not the only. I thought chomp had it. Then again I hate disco hipsters.

Brocky

Just tuning in, completely forgot battlebots was on tonight.

Man summer schedules are always weird

jjfozz

My son played in Shootout for Soldiers today, it’s a benefit lacrosse tournament to help veterans, since the government does such a shitty job of it, and I have to say that it was great time.

Got to explain to him about veterans and what they do, and then we compiled a list of family members who served and who were KIA. (Three, all in WW2)

Sports taught a great lesson today.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Good job.

My family as far as I can tell has not had a KIA since the Spanish American war, but through FUBAR they tried to kill my dad and two uncles.

“Shootout for Soldiers” is a bit of an unfortunate name.

Horatio Cornblower

Which side were they on?

jjfozz

Good one. They all served for the US of A. (I’m sure a few were used as interpreters if they served in Italy.)

Horatio Cornblower

That’s cool. My family has a long-history of being found 4-F

Sill Bimmons

Neither side even close to 10% of the 16.8 million vote victory threshold in UK EU Referendum.

King Hippo

So…are your peeps really gonna blow up teh world economy like silly ninnies?

Sill Bimmons

I hope not.

Unsurprised

Joe Walsh – Rocky Mountain Way. I have conflicting feelings about this song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UsEE5usGodQ

I also finally linked to that full video of the boobie girls dancing in the replies.

And NOW I’m off.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
jjfozz

THIS GIF, I CALL IT PRESIDENT TRUMP, BECAUSE IT MAKES ME WANT TO MOVE TO CANADA!

jjfozz

wife has been away for four days; kids are watching disney channel; IV bottle filled with bourbon . . .one second, let me insert this thing . . . ahhhhhhh.

Kids suck.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Kids suck.”

-Sandusky

jjfozz

“But they have sharp teeth.”

Michael Jackson from beyond the grave.

Unsurprised

I should get ready. A lawyer group I’m in is having a happy hour at a Mexican restaurant down the street.

Ta-ta

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m at a bar specializing in Belgian beers. I’m having a tripel now and plan to have a duchesse ($2 off on Thursdays!) after dinner. The guy next to me just ordered a bud heavy bottle to go with whatever draft he had ordered before I got here. I hate people.

blaxabbath

If he’s a Congressman who just started an early vacation, go ahead and stab him with a bullet from a gun.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m in Boulder. The local rep is on the correct side of that issue.

Unsurprised

Maybe an out-of-towner visiting the Bible thumpers as an excuse to get Rocky Mountain High.

Does Boulder still have a bunch of evangelicals? I can’t remember what led me to make that connection.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It’s about two hours south in Colorado Springs; Thumper Country for sure.

Unsurprised

I have two of those in my neigborhood (two locations, same bar), but they’re too damn expensive to visit.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

After reading that I need this gif to make me feel better.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Oh, that’s not me and it’s not my place either.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Such a pity.
For a sec there…..
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Unsurprised

With Moose?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

Well, let’s not rule anything out.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Me in My Place is at least 500 yards distant from her at all times, according to that killjoy judge.

blaxabbath

So, if you’ve got a local drive-time sports talk show, you can be one of two characters. (1) The broadcaster who is hosting a show on the topic of sports. Maybe they do interviews, they probably have some TAEKS, but, overall, they’re little more than a fellow sports fan who just happens to talk about it for a living. (2) The Insider. The guy who always has out texts and is referencing his sources, all in order to make his statements carry more weight than simple speculation or opinion.

For Insiders, of course, the proof is in the pudding. I don’t care so much about predicting the NFL playoffs in June, but if you’re going to tweet out that the Suns are giving up Bledsoe and the 13th pick for the 8th, then that better be what happens. When it doesn’t and you just delete the tweet, you were still wrong. Even sadder, in my opinion, is the other station members (all via twitter) defending his blown tweet — “He was wrong but so were many others!”. You want to be an Insider, deal with it, media man. Or just keep your trap shut. It’s fucking twitter. I could give a shit if your tweet shows up a box above ESPN’s — I just don’t want conflicting accounts because then I have to actually go verify stuff, which is exactly the kind of time-wasting twitter is supposed to prevent.

So, yeah, fuck the sports media EVEN MORE.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I prefer…(3)…the guy who quickly gets disgusted and turns the car radio to “CD” and breaks off the knob.
(actually did this one day…coincidentally while listening to 1060AM in PHX truth be told….they had Barkley on talking about Tiger Woods one goddamned day too many that week)

blaxabbath

I don’t even know what 1060 is. Barkley does Christian Talk Family Life Radio?

theeWeeBabySeamus

It’s been about a decade ago probably. Formats change.
Also grey matter softens (mine I mean).
/mighta been 620AM now that I’m thinking about it

BrettFavresColonoscopy

My flight’s been delayed three hours and the bar is showing the CFL game. Guess I can watch some football-lite before I head to the airport.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
jjfozz

Two Broke Girls is the Big Bang Theory, but with nicer tits.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I thought it was just Big Bang Theory with *bigger* tits.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Shogun Marcus

Is ok. You put out excellent content on the daily for the rest of us.

rockingdog

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scotchnaut

All of a sudden I’m a Buddy Hield fan…

Horatio Cornblower

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AzqmVa6n-es

Found these guys while looking up that ‘SOB’ song that teh kids are into according to the man who lives in my car radio. They have some good stuff. This is one of them.

Horatio Cornblower

Shit, this is actually the one I was going for. I’d love to see these guys live. May have to go to Newport and scalp tickets.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZWh40baXmqQ

Unsurprised

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Kind of amazing to see that datestamp show up in this day and age.

Unsurprised

It’s some stupid app filter. The video is from Memorial Day weekend posted to Instagram. And for as many times as I’ve seen it, it’s always been muted, so I only just now realized they were dancing to Biggie Smalls.

https://streamable.com/dlbg

Shogun Marcus

WHEN ARE THEY GOING TO GET TO THE FIREWORKS FACTORY?!?!?!

less talk, more robot smashy-smash.

Unsurprised

Everyone who conflates AR-15s with hunting is a piece of shit. 5.56mm NATO is only good for hunting one species: Humans.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Yeah, why don’t we talk about the REAL issues like licensing Trump supporters to hunt each other.

Sill Bimmons

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The first two are rifle rounds, NATO 7.62mm and NATO 5.56mm. The third is a pistol round, NATO 9mm.

The pistol round has the largest caliber but less than half the charge of the rifle rounds. Because of this the pistol round travels at less than half the velocity of the rifle rounds and is far less accurate due to the much shorter barrel length. The standard Beretta M9 9mm pistol only has a 15-round magazine, the 7.62mm AK-47 rifle and 5.56mm AR-15 rifle are both fitted with 30-round magazines.

So next time anyone tries to tell you that someone with a pistol can do the same damage as someone with an assault rifle you can tell them where to go.

Unsurprised

It’s embarrassing and frustrating to me that so many gun control supporters don’t actually know anything about guns.

scotchnaut

I miss soccer…

jjfozz

Hey MSNBC, go suck on a hot tailpipe for running old riot footage of Baltimore and saying “Happening Now.”

We have enough problems, you pack of nitwits.

scotchnaut

“Uh, the news is what we say it is-get with the program.”

-Big Brother

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

My favorite was Faux News using footage something completely different for their “Mexicans FLOODING across the border ’cause Obummmer” stories.

Horatio Cornblower

“5 years isn’t really that long of a period”
-Jay Bilas

“That guy has no idea what he’s talking about”
-My wife

Horatio Cornblower

Let’s go Boston, fuck this pick up so I can enjoy Massholes weeping.

/does not care about the NBA

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Happy Thursday fellow mutants, hoarders, and hemits!!

http://img0.joyreactor.com/pics/post/girls-beach-gif-bikini-890648.gif

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
King Hippo

with absolutely FUCKALL on teh teevee box, too stoned to read (had me another cervical epidural injection today, about as fun as it sounds), this would be a GREAT time to try some really hard drugs!

/knows nobody who can acquire really hard drugs

Horatio Cornblower

-ahem-

theeWeeBabySeamus

You say that as if there is ever a bad time for really hard drugs.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Unsurprised

I do it because I’m a lonely loser.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nah.
Stop that kind of talk.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

WEIRD!

◾the crier
◾the runner
◾the swearer
◾the stabber (in the hand/arm/leg/penis/neighbor with same pen)
◾the fainter

ARE THE CHOICES FOR HOW MY DATES END!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Don’t forget the “thrower”.
I hate throwers. Especially when they have good aim.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Never dated one that had good aim…..

theeWeeBabySeamus

I have…several.
For a brief period, my ex wife had good aim.
I still have a mild forehead dent from a crystal tumbler, not yet empty mind you (bitch wasted a drink too!!!!) striking and shattering on my cranium.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Throws like a girl” joke fail.

I will try again later.

King Hippo

so, as to the Canadian racist ex-girlfriend. She was very pretty, but she had lots of “isms” which I wrote off to defensive “walls” that we all create around ourselves. But she was fun to hang out with, sharp and funny, and things were going well physically.

Then as she was showing me around her apartment complex on my 2nd visit, she stage whispers “that’s where all the NAGGERS (sic) live.” Which brought up some other…interesting conversations. And I had to gently back out of that landmine relationship. Because I am so bad at confrontation, I couldn’t just say then and there “uh sorry, but I can’t be with someone who is an out an proud racist.”

She was like 25% Indian, too. I can’t say Native American since she was a Canuck, eh? Which made it doubly perplexing.

For the record, she also despised ALL Quebecois. Even though she was living in Gatineau, she still considered herself an Ottawan, and refused to vote there.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

She sounds like a treat.

“I can’t say Native American since she was a Canuck, eh?”

I want to say that “America” in this sense refers to the American continent, rather than the country. But then, of course, you get into the Central and South Native Americans and that opens a whole nother can of worms. So are they technically Native Americans as well? Probably, but we don’t call them that and…

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King Hippo

oh and Moose, she also talked about her ex A LOT, in the context that she liked how I was happy to have “normal” sex. Apparently the last year or so, all he would EVAR do is have HER fuck him up the ass with a strap-on.

I also think she might have been a hoarder and/or kleptomaniac, based on a closet she quickly opened and shut. But it was after the “NAGGERS” incident and I was a bit thrown, mentally.

She also really, REALLY wanted to get fake tits before she was 30. Talked about this as if it were a life milestone.

In retrospect, I really went through a “really poor judgment even by Hippo’s standards” phase after my divorce. But in my defense, she WAS the best looking woman I EVAR had Christian conversation with. Certainly not for direct monetary compensation ,, smh.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I hesitate to ask what a “Christian conversation” is, but hey. I have dated many theist women who had not problem with my atheism.

You made it through a learning experience unscathed and in spite of you cringing a bit looking back; it is a huge positive. Plus a divorce; it takes quite a while for even well adjusted people to screw (!) their heads back on straight after that.

One woman who I got along with very well for a while until it came up in conversation (surprised the hell out of me) that she thought the moon landing was fake; that was over the next day.

King Hippo

In teh South, “Christian conversation” is an old-timey euphamism FOAR the sex act.

theeWeeBabySeamus

You are in need of the Wonder from Down Under.
I’ll make a couple calls on your behalf. Get your SS uni drycleaned just in case.

Unsurprised

If she were a hoarder, it wouldn’t be limited to just a closest.

It’s also funny seeing her milestone be 30 given the stories I read about girls getting implants while in high school now. (I’m a freak)

theeWeeBabySeamus

I suspect that’s where she kept the unwashed strap on.
/could be mistaken

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

[sniffs fingers like a German soccer coach]

Horatio Cornblower

I just call ’em ‘Prairie Naggers’ and call it a day.

/I used to play CoD with a bunch of stoned Canadians who would always fight with the same clan of Cree guys and heard that phrase more than once. Crees would just tell them to get fucked and win the game.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

My experience was with a Plain Nagger; she would NOT leave me alone about the grasslands!

The Maestro

My dude, as a Canuck living in Ottawa, step one in dating Canadians is this:

Never, ever date anyone from Gatineau. Seriously. Just don’t fucking do it. I seriously have no idea how anyone in that town actually reproduces. Spores, probably.

Unsurprised

Minorities hate other minorities, often times a lot more than white people do. My grandparents absolutely hated black people, which is interesting since my grandfather’s first experience with any was during WW2. Shit’s weird.

Indian is the legal term for Native Americans in the U.S. I usually see them referred to as First Nations in Canada.

theeWeeBabySeamus

“Minorities hate other minorities”
I can attest to this. Always found it to be an interesting dynamic.

Unsurprised

Divide and Conquer

theeWeeBabySeamus

You uh….you got any ACTUAL methadone?
/asking for a friend

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Yes, I already told you, METH DONE. We still got some bath salts left, though.”

– Jar Jar Binks’ dealer

King Hippo

yeah, I owned this CD before teh divorce ,, wanna fight about it??

scotchnaut

Wilbon talks about the pressure on Simmons that he himself as a member of the media will exert on him.

Sill Bimmons

I think it’s more…

comment image

HBO is the other man.

scotchnaut

Guys-I was talking about Ben Simmons.

Unsurprised

A drunk Bostonian yapping away about sports like an idiot. Why I never!

scotchnaut

[watching the NBA draft]

I’ve hated Danny Ainge since forever.

scotchnaut

On “Carnival Eats” I’m seeing a corndog with chocolate chips in the batter that surrounds the wiener. You brought this on yourself America. Congrats!

Unsurprised

The Herpes Special?

Sill Bimmons

So this might be happening that I’m having trouble processing…

“Sky Bet has Jurgen Klinsmann as the favorite to be the next manager at Southampton, which comes as a surprise to just about everyone, USMNT and Saints supporters alike. Klinsmann shows up on the odds for next manager of Premier League clubs frequently, but this is the first time he’s been the favorite.”

http://www.sbnation.com/soccer/2016/6/23/12014272/jurgen-klinsmann-next-southampton-manager-odds-bookies-usmnt

“Bookie–created” my ass. You think Klinsmann wants to die on USMNT Hill? That’d roughly be NOAP

At least he’d be a name for Saints. MAYBE

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