Well, Saturday’s games were pretty dull, at least after the Swiss – Poland match. I was driving in the car, listening to the Portugal – Croatia match, and the BBC announcers were openly mocking the play, saying things like, “Well, if they’ve agreed to not play each other, why don’t they just shake hands and just go straight to penalties?” Good thing it didn’t get to penalties – I don’t think the Beeb guys could’ve handled it.
Luckily, there are some better match ups today, so the day drinking should pay good dividends.
- France – Ireland – 9:00
- Germany – Slovakia – 12:00
- Hungary – Belgium – 3:00
And, let’s not forget the Copa finale. Argentina – Chile from the Meadowlands this evening. It’s almost enough to help get though one more day until the start of NFL training camps in 29 days.
Hopefully, Monday brings another update from litre_cola. If all goes well, he might be Prime Minister of Great Britain by the time he returns.
The Slovaks haven’t caved in to the Germans like this since Chamberlain sold them out over the Sudetenland.
[just now remembers he has a half-bottle of Stoli in the back of the fridge]
Kayaking is way under-rated as a workout. My Tupac has transformed itself into a three pack. If I kayak twice as much over the summer, math tells me that I’ll have a six pack by mid-August.
I’ve been severely tempted to buy a fancy inflatable kayak I saw on the internet recently. I would love to kayak on the lake instead of splashing the sewage of the river all over myself.
Sewage is way over-rated.
How should I use my bonus air miles? Early March. Mauritius, the Seychelles, or Sri Lanka?
My brother highly recommends Bora Bora.
Sydney doesn’t suck.
Tempted by Australia, but I kind of want to take a year, buy a cheap car and drive around the place. My “fuck Chicago at the end of winter” vacation just doesn’t seem like the right time.
How many do you got and which alliance?
I’ll have 70-75k, United/Star Alliance. My criteria are good weather and low stress, so more tourism than travelling. The above is the current short list, but additional suggestions are welcome. Also thinking non-hub airports, to maximize the air mile value.
I would still offer Puerto Rico as the most relaxed I’ve ever been. I’m sure DonT knows some guys if’n you want protection given recent unpleasantness (but I also bet that’s WAY overblown).
Ibiza.
Which country hates us least?
I’d go the first two unless you want to maintain some connection to civilization. Then Sri Lanka is good.
Sri Lanka is on my short list of cheap countries to retire in, so I kind of want to check it out. The isolated island path is pretty damn tempting as well.
So people were arrested selling drugs outside the Phish concert last night….shocking!
https://youtu.be/vHBt4b6lldo
It’s shocking that they were arrested.
Don’t worry, they’re all out on i-bonds.
This will be an obvious hot take, but damn it, I’m powering through it.
Summer sucks. It’s the most overrated season. It’s too hot, too humid, too crowded with people who like it too much. The air quality sucks, the sun gleefully turns you into a tumor, people start shooting each other, and worst of all you have to wear shorts. And the sweat. I hate sweating when it doesn’t involve exercise and once the temperature hits 80 my back turns into a slip-and-slide.
We live in Chicago. The whole year, except for maybe a week or two if you’re lucky, sucks. Grab a cold beer and suck it up, son.
Not every shooting happens when the sun is out, ppl forget that
http://www.extremetech.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/simpsons-mr-burns-blocks-out-the-sun1-640×353.jpg
So I definitely LOL’d at this.
I’m siding with your opinion right here.
It’s much easier to warm up than it is to cool off.
I’ve lived near the coast since 1985 for a damn good reason.
Counterpoint: I made $150 in tips last night selling beer at a baseball game. Can’t do that in the winter.
Best part is Rob doesn’t even work for the team…
http://65.media.tumblr.com/6d06a86c42b5530a336111f6136c431d/tumblr_mitg3sDvxE1qbzw41o6_400.jpg
[pets internet]
“That’s a good boy! I missed you too!”
I tell you-there’s only so much fresh air, nature and clean-living (no alcohol) that one can stand at one go. It was great, but I need to be eased into that very slowly.
Twitter welcomes you back with an onslaught of people making parody songs about a recently-shot zoo ape.
And racism, don’t forget racism!
“Racism? I LOVE racism!”
-Trump supporters
https://twitter.com/PardonMyTake/status/746463946954121216
B double E double R U N
Beer Run!
https://youtu.be/pyCPhIjmk-s
Welp, this game is over. The Germans are running shit.
“Running shit? That’s a bit much, even for us. We like it solid.”
– The Germans
http://media3.giphy.com/media/dJvzqxkU4JW7e/giphy.gif
Slow day at work means mainling coffee and and wimbledon pre tournament coverage.
I need to get off working Sundays.
I actually have the rest of the day off? What is this chicanery?
/Gets message from friend asking if I want to jam later
That’s better.
Beware idle hands…
http://i.makeagif.com/media/6-26-2016/zhneaL.gif
The devil’s hands are idle playthings, after all.
http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/powerlisting/images/2/20/Robot_Devil_Fiddle.gif
/Yes I know, wrong episode
This GIF had more suspense than two hours of the Independence Day sequel.
Must be a rental. Also I liked the 1st Italian Job better.
The windshield wipers are what makes it special.
Hey, Balls, I haven’t had time to go back and watch. WTF happened St Kilda/Geelong? How did the Saints win that?
The Saints are plucky and played hard all game. They thoroughly deserved the win.
Slovakia wins “best hair” between the two.
It seems my neighbor got a toy xylophone. What would Herod do?
A beer and a half in and the shampoo effect drunk is lathering up nicely. Wish I didn’t have to go to work tomorrow. Or ever. I like my job, but I like the idea of retirement better. Here’s to a strong stock market so I can retire before I’m 50! Prost!
My retirement plan:
http://i.makeagif.com/media/6-26-2016/3JPgJp.gif
Shampoo effect drunk? Who gave Dok all the shower beers? And didn’t get me one?
http://royalrangerseurope.net/images/nations/Slovakia.gif
“I don’t want the world. I just want your half.”
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MEjutUbgpH8
The Cubs have lost five of six (even though two of those losses were by a run and one was by two runs) so Cubs fandom is shitting itself thinking the bottom is falling out.
I hate Cubs fans.
Haha, you didn’t even have to win shit to become Patriots fans.
Ugh…I am suppose to be packing for a business trip. I got three separate sites, in three separate states across the US, to hit in the next 5 days. I can’t seem to get motivated today…
For motivation:
https://youtu.be/SBFuvg14BK8
Aw, sad Irish
As I watch Ireland, the one thing that keeps springing to mind is that all of the Irish women I’ve ever met are batshit crazy.
Same for the English ones too, actually.
In the UK they start drinking and sexual harassment at a much younger age. You end up with a populace that knows how to party and piss on the national monuments of other countries, but is pretty damn crazy. Imagine drinking this behind your grade school and see how you would turn out.
For full effect you should make some jokes about your 5th grade teacher’s tits and really, truly believe that women can’t get pregnant if you have sex standing up.
My 5th grade teacher was a guy. I am now quite disturbed.
My soph HS French teach, on the other hand, had great tits.
My French teacher too!
I believe that teaching HS French, great tits are a prerequisite.
It might be the “woman” part rather then “insert country of origin here” variable that needs investigating.
Eh, most women are perfectly sane when not confronted with men.
Ah, hungover, beer, pizza, soccer. It’s like I’m 22 again!
Careful….that would make your new boyfriend 13.
Just saying.
*shudder*
24 is creepy enough
Dok, I’m flattered but, I didn’t dance with you last night. …Or did I? No, definitely not.
/Wait you’re… *doesn’t say number because he knows what’s good for him*
Irish defensive strategy (2nd half)
https://www.trafficsafetystore.com/file/view/589
What channel is the fussball on?
Espn
If you could somehow harness the anger & self-hatred of the Irish players right now, you could light up the Eiffel fucking Tower.
Or use it to power an extremely large distillery.
Tennis courts are half flooded. It’s a shame really. With my slept in eye makeup, Henry the VIII “It’s all in the execution” T-shirt, and hangover induced lack of coordination and excessive cursing, that would have been some DEAD SEXY tennis.
Toaster oven pizza and a sixer of ale obtained from deli. Time for a morning “shampoo effect” drunk.
slaps Zymm on the ass, (but only after obtaining written consent)
THAT’S GOOD SUNDAY PREGAMING!!!!
While the Irish earned that red car I do have to point out that Giroux flattened an Irish defender to start the whole play.
Well Ireland unraveled really fast.
The potatos die again?
Perfect timing FOAR this:
Also, my ex-mother-in-law was striking similar in personality and mentality to Jenny Maier.
Two dollars!
THIS SOCCER GAME I CALL IT THE BATTLE OF THE BOYNE, BECAUSE THE IRISH KEEP BLINDLY ATTACKING WHILE LEAVING THEIR REAR EXPOSED!!!!
/knows nothing about the actual Battle of the Boyne
Welp, looks like I’ll be getting started on cleaning up after my son’s graduation party a little earlier than I’d wanted.
Who wants to come over for leftover grilled chicken and beer?
“Attaboy!” to the boy.
Leave it to the Altetico fella to bail Los Frogs out, eh?
CORNER, GODDAMMIT!!!!
That’s a really bad missed call.
How was that not a corner?
I haven’t seen the Irish give up an early advantage like this since 1916.
http://www.cuculinary.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/french-beret-black-n1.jpg
While I don’t expect this to hold up I have to give the Irish credit for so far continuing to attack and not just lying back and playing bitch ball.
That said France seems to have a lot more individual skill.
Much as I want it to happen, I see no way for Ireland to hold on. France is all over them.
if it helps, imagine England in the semi with a smug Boris Johnson in attendance
So, I have to root for France to get this?
Ick.
Oh Holy Hell. It’s time for some extremely hung over tennis. Although it appears there was a ton of rain, so maybe it’s cancelled and I can pass out again on the couch. Also, it appears there’s some kid 9 years younger than me I was dancing with that I need to decide if I should call back or not. I should just avoid drinking in public. I’ll be spending the rest of today inside, avoiding the parade and aftermath. Sucks I can’t really order pizza though. I’ll have to grab some frozen hangover pizza. If it’s happening, this is gonna be some horrible fucking tennis. A fine contrast to Wimbledon starting tomorrow!
Call back your boy toy, tell him to bring pizza.
Problem solved.
Tennis, schmennis. Do what Merle would do.
Oh, I should post the song, I guess:
http://youtu.be/BO5PObMULd4
enough blow to kill a gorilla??
http://66.media.tumblr.com/b3dd57dbe04d01b87f526dd8629832cd/tumblr_n0k7g63Tkn1qaldqoo2_r1_500.gif
Pretty sure that’s how I’m going to get pumped for yardwork.
“Also, it appears there’s some kid 9 years younger than me I was dancing with that I need to decide if I should call back or not.”
Depends. Are you a school teacher? If so, the answer is no.
Ireland up 1-0. Am I still asleep?
oh shit, this upset would possibly benefit England. FUCK THAT NOISE.
Kante missing the quarterfinal is yuuuuuugggge
Well, Ireland sure came in and pissed all over the party.
/so…nothing new
#TeamPotatoBlight
Sacré Bleu!!!!!!!
That didn’t take long.
who got the goal? an Evertonian I hope??
Honestly I’m not even sure. I turned the game on, walked away for a moment, came back.
1 – nil. Da Fuq?
Brady
ah, fuck that guy. Norwich, they done got relegated (but not his fault). Was hoping FOAR a Seamus Coleman, but oh well
I always think of The Lorax when I see Hugo Lloris.
SAME. Also when I see Evra, I think of 90s band “Better Than Ezra”