Your “Wales vs Belgium/Free Agent Frenzy” Friday Morning Open thread

Sorry for the interruption buddies, but, I would like to wish all you mother Canuckers out there a Happy Canada Day!

Please rise for Canada’s official national anthem.

Here’s a quick history lesson of how Canada came about:

After numerous drunken conferences–our Fathers of Confederation loved to get hammered so much that Sir John A MacDonald became Canada’s first Prime Minister after winning a ‘Last Man Standing’ beer drinking contest– the Fathers of Confederation declared on March 29th, 1867, that the British North America Act, which was to be enforced on July 1st, 1867,  would see Ontario, Quebec, Nova Scotia and New Brunswick form an autonomous dominion named Canada. To commemorate the occasion, they got blackout drunk and played Ice Shinty, which later became known as Ice Hockey. (Note: The last sentence is mostly false).

In one of the greatest decisions ever, the NHL now has their free agency begin on Canada Day. At least for me, Free Agency on July 1st signifies the beginning of the new season. It’s a different month than the Stanley Cup finals and unlike the NHL draft (which is in June), free agency is where you essentially solidify your team for the season and in most cases, hilariously cripples your team for years because you over-paid for some schmuck who only has a good year when they’re playing for a new contract.

Now that Steven Stamkos re-signed with Tampa, to the surprise of nobody outside of delusional Maple Leafs fans, the most coveted free agent is Milan Lucic. Due to his physicality, Lucic is a worn down 28 year old player who wants a 6 year contract and a boat load of money. The Ice Eskimos, Ice Maple Lions and Ice Rams are the three teams pursuing him the most. If you’re a fan of one of those teams, pray to the hockey gods that your team doesn’t sign him. This just has terrible free agent signing written all over it in 3 years time.

So stay tuned and laugh at your team’s rivals as they ruin their salary cap when they sign Frans Nielsen for 7 years at 60 million dollars. Or drink your pain away when your team inexplicably signs Kyle Okposo to a 6 year, 65 million dollar contract, which does not include Johnathan Tavares.

At Noon PST, we have a Euro 2016 Quarter-finals match between:

Belgium, a nation Canada liberated on February 4th, 1945

You see America, when you liberate a country, you’re supposed to leave afterwards

v

Wales, a country we like so much, we have a trophy named ‘The Prince of Wales’ (or just Wales) trophy that we give to the NHL Eastern Conference Champions

Fact: Pittsburgh Penguins are 3-0 in Stanley Cup finals in which they touch the Wales Trophy. They are 0-1 when they don’t. #Hockeytrophyanalytics

Thoughts:

We have a matchup between the best player of the tournament (Wales’ Gareth Bale) taking on the team playing the best soccer.

Wales have a system where they play five defenders and allow Gareth Bale to switch from forward to midfield as he pleases. So far, it has worked as Wales has a good mix of attacking and defending midfielders. The problem with Wales is that their captain and top defender, Ashley Williams, is hurt and may not play. Even if he does play, the fact he will not be 100% and his mark is Romelu Lukaku is really bad news for the Welsh.

For the first time ever in a major tournament, Belgium looks like a team worthy of the verbal fellating the media has given them over the past few years. If they can continue their amazing play of last game against Hungary, Wales is going to lose. It is worth nothing that Belgium is weak on defense and one of their defenders, Thomas Vermaelen, is suspended for this game due to yellow card accumulation. I have no idea who is replacing Vermaelen, but, I do know they aren’t very good and Bale is probably salivating at all the ways he can exploit the new centre-back.

Based on how they played last game, Belgium is probably going to win this match 2-1. If Belgium decides to foolishly change their tactics and go with three D, which is a possibility, I think Wales will take it 2-1, as Gareth Bale will have lots of room on the counter-attack.

Either way, lets hope it’s a good game and we don’t run out of booze, eh?

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King Hippo

mild upset. Not shocked at all.

...

BUT WALES IS SMALL AND SMALL COUNTRIES CAN’T WIN DURRRRR

nomonkeyfun

Wexit, Wexit, Wexit.

It’s not unusual, to leave England.

Horatio Cornblower

Your problem presumes that anything related to FIFA, including rankings, has any sort of validity.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

I wish hot chicks brandishing murder weapons was a new thing.

Horatio Cornblower

eh, I’d chance it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
scotchnaut

“I’VE SEEN SOME BIG BALLS ON WHALES IN MY TIME BUT THIS IS RIDICULOUS!”

-Jacques Cousteau

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Horatio Cornblower

That always ends well

/Just saw “Blackfish”

Horatio Cornblower

I’m not sure what’s worse, the officiating in this game or the home plate umpire in Toronto’s Canada Day game.

That said, fuck yeah Wales!

ArmedandHammered

That goal was a thing of beauty.

scotchnaut

If this was a football-centric blog instead of a football-centric blog, we’d have a shit-ton more commenters.

Horatio Cornblower

All Wales has to do is play for the win while Portugal tries to win again on PKs.

I fucking hate watching Portugal play in one-and-done games.

scotchnaut

Well said.. But John F. Kennedy wasn’t COMPLETELY narcissistic.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

HA! Wait ’til next year, FUCKERS!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

From other Mencken quotes it would seem as though that is what he meant by “As democracy is perfected…”

scotchnaut

/watching the game

/kids want me to start the BBQ

what to do, what to do…

Unsurprised

BBQ the kids. Two birds, one stone.

scotchnaut

“God, I’m so red-faced!”

-every Welsh player on the pitch

scotchnaut

/would love to get to know the lady that those breasts belong to

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
King Hippo

A Canadian is easy to describe, Dave Foley did it. It’s like an American, but without a gun.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Canada is 1.4 and US is 3.9 per 100,000 per year, so no.

scotchnaut

BELUGA WITH THE SCORE!

Horatio Cornblower

Remember my preview of Wales for this tournament, the one where I said they had no chance?

I know nothing about futbol.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Most reasoning is better than the analysis main stream sports media.

King Hippo

2 non-Bale goals? DA FUCK???

Spanky Datass

BEST SEXY FRIDAY EVAR!!!!!1!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
scotchnaut
scotchnaut

DO IT!

scotchnaut
scotchnaut
scotchnaut

I’ve driven a Dodge Caravan (different ones) for 15+ years. I’m now driving a Dodge Sport pickup with a V-8.

/I prefer the latter vehicle

scotchnaut

“GO WHALES!”

-Greenpeace

King Hippo

I finally killed the fly that the painters let in the house. Huzzah, time to enjoy Lesser Footy with my entire ass!!

...

I had two options for my company’s shuttle to the local train station today and I stupidly picked the later option. Thankfully, I can stream Lesser Footy for the hour I’m wasting.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

London?

Unsurprised

Afternoon half is about to begin, but I just want to express my embarrassment and annoyance. Someone posted a macro of this photo
http://cdn-s3.si.com/s3fs-public/2016/04/11/jpp-inline-630.jpg

With the caption “JUST A FRIENDLY REMINDER TO BE SAFE THIS WEEKEND” and I laughed. It’s funny, right?

RIGHT!?!?

Anyway, then I saw it was from NFL Memes. My heart broke a little at seeing a friend repost those dicks. :-/

Unsurprised

Especially in light of the recent sponsorship post AND MANY OTHER TIMES people here have joked about ShockerPP himself around here.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

At least you know it did not originate at NFLmemes, NFLmemes.

scotchnaut

I gave up Alien Vs. Predator for this?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Relax, Belgium is way out of range…”

comment image

King Hippo

holy shit, what a strike

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

or gonna comment.

King Hippo

RUMOUR ALERT!!!!

Supposedly, Everton’s 30m (pounds sterling) bid for Axel Witsel has been accepted. So, I have a double rooting interest in addition to Big Rom!!

/also a giant erection (sorry FOAR nightmare fuel tmi)

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Sill Bimmons

I weep for Edmonton fans.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Today in WTF?

His mom? The toy hatched seems a bit over the top.

http://66.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l7snuwMJSx1qzlnx8o1_1280.jpg

Sill Bimmons
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

May everybody have a good time with family and friends this weekend.

http://66.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l6jenaHJCz1qabj53o1_1280.jpg

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Sill Bimmons

The Penguins have won the Prince Of Wales trophy five times…

Fronkenshteen
SonOfSpam

It’s like Independence Day’s little brother!

(j/k god bless you hosers)

ballsofsteelandfury

So, real potentially-insulting question: Why is Canada part of the Commonwealth and is still technically under the Queen?

Isn’t that saying you’ve got your own place when you’re actually living in a room over the garage of your parents’ house?

King Hippo

I’m going with “too polite to tell her to fuck off.”

SonOfSpam

Pretty disrespectful way to refer to Justin Trudeau even if he is a bit fruity.

ballsofsteelandfury

I never liked Doonesbury.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Really? I grew up on that sarcasm.

ballsofsteelandfury

Nah, it just fit the joke.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

FLIES RIGHT OVER DAMN HEAD!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That’s just embarrassing.

ballsofsteelandfury

I understand. My question is why?

ballsofsteelandfury

To rephrase the question: why is Canada STILL part of the Commonwealth and not its own country.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

A box in the attic doesn’t affect how you run the kitchen.

ballsofsteelandfury

My frame of reference, of course, is KITH

Sill Bimmons

From what I understand, it’s both.

The inscrutable issues of non-violent colonial divestitures…

blaxabbath

“Free Agent Frenzy” is the part of the convention where Donald Trump tries to land a VP pick.

ballsofsteelandfury

I read that as prick. Still works.

blaxabbath

If we’re talking about finding the prick on Chris Christie, you’re probably right.

That fat fuck.

http://cynobs.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Farva-1.jpg

...

Not sure which I’d find more humorous/horrifying: A picture of Trump naked with Christie’s face covering Trump’s crotch or a picture of Christie naked with Trump’s face covering Christie’s crotch.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

This would help the campaign either way

Don T

“You see America, when you liberate a country, you’re supposed to leave afterwards”
Now I hate even more that dweeb who attended South American Euro games dressed like Teddy Roosevelt.
/chain smokes, seethes
The footy game promises to be exciting. I think BEL’s defense will get exposed and they’re gonna have to score at least two to win. Italy, to me, has been the best playing side in Frenz. They even beat BEL, but DeBruyne was horrific that day. But yeah, the Belgians have the players to beat anybody left.
Happy Canada Day to all. Celebrating independence: what a wonderful thing.
Great post, W.

King Hippo

Hey, if you decide to hunt him down FOAR SPORT, lmk and I am eager to tag along.

Ironically, Teddy himself would have found that to be pretty cool.

Like Nixon, he was a Republican of such weird contrasts. He was so visionary on protecting wild areas, creating national parks, etc. But MY GOD, the testosterone-and-racism-based foreign policy. Which again, is hard to square with how he was less odious than most with respect to black people in the USA.

Don T

I give TR big props for trust busting, and some of his Ruthian exceptionalism was not so grating. The rest, well, you know…

Sill Bimmons

Have you read “The Imperial Cruise” by “Flags Of Our Fathers” and “Flyboys” author James Bradley?

http://i.usatoday.net/life/_photos/2009/11/25/cruisex.jpg

There’s a reason it’s one of the few of Bradley’s books that hasn’t been made into a movie.

...

Reading the reviews of this is pretty fun. A lot of people seem to think book is a bunch of poorly-researched bullshit.

...

TR was definitely a fascinating president.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Doing a lot of research into the time context and his upbringing help the understanding of him, but still on the domestic policy he was bordering on what they would call a damn soshalist now.

King Hippo

Shit, Belgium are down another defender (Vertongen – sp??) due to injury. We could be looking at 4-3 GONZO FOOTY WOO!!!!!!!!!

My pill bottle will be at the ready, fo sho.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Eh, I never cared for Tavarez, even that one season he was with the Cubs.

http://cache.boston.com/bonzai-fba/Globe_Photo/2006/03/27/1143497278_8207.jpg

...

I could have sworn he played more than one season with the Cubs. I like the fact he was the centerpiece in the deal that acquired Matt Clement and sent away Dontrelle Willis.