Sorry for the interruption buddies, but, I would like to wish all you mother Canuckers out there a Happy Canada Day!
Please rise for Canada’s official national anthem.
Here’s a quick history lesson of how Canada came about:
After numerous drunken conferences–our Fathers of Confederation loved to get hammered so much that Sir John A MacDonald became Canada’s first Prime Minister after winning a ‘Last Man Standing’ beer drinking contest– the Fathers of Confederation declared on March 29th, 1867, that the British North America Act, which was to be enforced on July 1st, 1867, would see Ontario, Quebec, Nova Scotia and New Brunswick form an autonomous dominion named Canada. To commemorate the occasion, they got blackout drunk and played Ice Shinty, which later became known as Ice Hockey. (Note: The last sentence is mostly false).
In one of the greatest decisions ever, the NHL now has their free agency begin on Canada Day. At least for me, Free Agency on July 1st signifies the beginning of the new season. It’s a different month than the Stanley Cup finals and unlike the NHL draft (which is in June), free agency is where you essentially solidify your team for the season and in most cases, hilariously cripples your team for years because you over-paid for some schmuck who only has a good year when they’re playing for a new contract.
Now that Steven Stamkos re-signed with Tampa, to the surprise of nobody outside of delusional Maple Leafs fans, the most coveted free agent is Milan Lucic. Due to his physicality, Lucic is a worn down 28 year old player who wants a 6 year contract and a boat load of money. The Ice Eskimos, Ice Maple Lions and Ice Rams are the three teams pursuing him the most. If you’re a fan of one of those teams, pray to the hockey gods that your team doesn’t sign him. This just has terrible free agent signing written all over it in 3 years time.
So stay tuned and laugh at your team’s rivals as they ruin their salary cap when they sign Frans Nielsen for 7 years at 60 million dollars. Or drink your pain away when your team inexplicably signs Kyle Okposo to a 6 year, 65 million dollar contract, which does not include Johnathan Tavares.
At Noon PST, we have a Euro 2016 Quarter-finals match between:
Belgium, a nation Canada liberated on February 4th, 1945
v
Wales, a country we like so much, we have a trophy named ‘The Prince of Wales’ (or just Wales) trophy that we give to the NHL Eastern Conference Champions
Thoughts:
We have a matchup between the best player of the tournament (Wales’ Gareth Bale) taking on the team playing the best soccer.
Wales have a system where they play five defenders and allow Gareth Bale to switch from forward to midfield as he pleases. So far, it has worked as Wales has a good mix of attacking and defending midfielders. The problem with Wales is that their captain and top defender, Ashley Williams, is hurt and may not play. Even if he does play, the fact he will not be 100% and his mark is Romelu Lukaku is really bad news for the Welsh.
For the first time ever in a major tournament, Belgium looks like a team worthy of the verbal fellating the media has given them over the past few years. If they can continue their amazing play of last game against Hungary, Wales is going to lose. It is worth nothing that Belgium is weak on defense and one of their defenders, Thomas Vermaelen, is suspended for this game due to yellow card accumulation. I have no idea who is replacing Vermaelen, but, I do know they aren’t very good and Bale is probably salivating at all the ways he can exploit the new centre-back.
Based on how they played last game, Belgium is probably going to win this match 2-1. If Belgium decides to foolishly change their tactics and go with three D, which is a possibility, I think Wales will take it 2-1, as Gareth Bale will have lots of room on the counter-attack.
Either way, lets hope it’s a good game and we don’t run out of booze, eh?
TSN Commentator: This is one of the biggest upsets in Euro history.
Is it though? Wales is a good team that essentially played 6, sometimes 7 d (Ramsey would sometimes go back and play D) and Belgium is weak on defense at the best of times, let alone missing two defenders. And then they played with 3 defenders?
It’s an upset but, historically shocking?
Nah.
http://3milliondogs.com/blog-assets-two/2014/08/corgicute.jpg
mild upset. Not shocked at all.
Definitely agree.
Wouldn’t be surprised if they beat Portugal, too.
BUT WALES IS SMALL AND SMALL COUNTRIES CAN’T WIN DURRRRR
Wexit, Wexit, Wexit.
It’s not unusual, to leave England.
See, this is my problem with Belgium. How can they possibly be the top ranked European team in FIFAs rankings? What the shit have they won recently? What have they ever won? Nothing!
Your problem presumes that anything related to FIFA, including rankings, has any sort of validity.
http://67.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_loafe13dOF1qebpfqo1_1280.jpg
Attractive chicks holding a hatchet. Looks like I have a new fetish.
I wish hot chicks brandishing murder weapons was a new thing.
eh, I’d chance it.
http://murderpedia.org/female.B/images/borden-lizzie/lizzie-borden-4.jpg
“I’VE SEEN SOME BIG BALLS ON WHALES IN MY TIME BUT THIS IS RIDICULOUS!”
-Jacques Cousteau
http://65.media.tumblr.com/98d1a7f3ef3ccd33d21aee50d429f8cd/tumblr_o734ikH0Hx1rkf4k0o1_1280.jpg
http://67.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lncr506I0S1qjsxs0o1_500.jpg
That always ends well
/Just saw “Blackfish”
I’m not sure what’s worse, the officiating in this game or the home plate umpire in Toronto’s Canada Day game.
That said, fuck yeah Wales!
The officiating is fine in this game. The Belgians are going down faster than a drunk girl on Spring Break. Also getting up and yelling at the ref afterwards isn’t helping their cause.
That goal was a thing of beauty.
I see Belgium is back to being under achieving favorites again. I wonder if they want some cheese with all this wine they’ve been serving over the past 3 minutes. They’re melting down
?w=648
. . . . and there it is. Great timing!
/counts 3 D on the replay
Looks like Belgium’s coach should have read this preview.
If this was a football-centric blog instead of a football-centric blog, we’d have a shit-ton more commenters.
One month to go. . . One month to go. . . One month to go. . .
Ramsey misses next game due to yellow card accumulation. They really should change the rules for that once we’re this deep in the playoffs. It’s a shame if Wales wins and he doesn’t get to play against Portugal.
All Wales has to do is play for the win while Portugal tries to win again on PKs.
I fucking hate watching Portugal play in one-and-done games.
To be fair, if Ronaldo wasn’t Charlie Browning a ton of his chances, the games wouldn’t be going to PKs.
I’m not sure if he’s going through some insane bad luck or some kid stole his shoes that contained all his talent.
http://67.media.tumblr.com/4c3b1c18fed6945ff874daab6af8737c/tumblr_o750o0uALA1qjleeho1_540.jpg
Well said.. But John F. Kennedy wasn’t COMPLETELY narcissistic.
HA! Wait ’til next year, FUCKERS!
Pfft, if that quote is so smart, how comes it mentions about democracy turning into plutocracy? NO ONE DENIES THIS.
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-sdF7SAMonpc/TbKLrgXOIDI/AAAAAAAACKM/oUOwcm13qFM/s400/Pluto-Cartoon.jpeg
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-go_jLNXVLF4/TwRjC18A6_I/AAAAAAAADtw/AsEyC_gUslY/s1600/disney+pluto+characters+wallpaper.gif
From other Mencken quotes it would seem as though that is what he meant by “As democracy is perfected…”
/watching the game
/kids want me to start the BBQ
what to do, what to do…
BBQ the kids. Two birds, one stone.
“God, I’m so red-faced!”
-every Welsh player on the pitch
http://66.media.tumblr.com/cfa00b2a0ba7e1cd90461c23f5fdca3d/tumblr_o5jb53ARMq1qf1525o1_1280.jpg
http://65.media.tumblr.com/17631f6c42d6d14b57cd0d3e069fcb3b/tumblr_o77ccibX2Q1qjleeho1_1280.jpg
/would love to get to know the lady that those breasts belong to
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0067713/
Re Hippos post about why Canada isn’t completely independent:
Economics aside, Canada never really formed an identity until after World War I. And the identity we have now is like 40 years old, and is one that was almost completely ruined by Furher Harper.
But one reason it never really happened earlier on is because Canadians are terrified of an American invasion. People don’t know how to describe a Canadian, but they know it’s NOT American.
Now, Canada has complete sovereignty as an independent country (Canada Act of 1982) and the Queen’s role as monarch of Canada is separate from her role as the British monarch or the monarch of any of the other Commonwealth realms. As we know, the Queen’s power is only in symbolism because of history. If it was any more than that, I’m sure she’d step in after Cameron left.
A Canadian is easy to describe, Dave Foley did it. It’s like an American, but without a gun.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lj3dxlSxUK1qb03ezo1_1280.jpg
… and with a better attractive woman per capita ratio. . . also with a worse murders per captia ratio for some weird reason.
Canada is 1.4 and US is 3.9 per 100,000 per year, so no.
BELUGA WITH THE SCORE!
Remember my preview of Wales for this tournament, the one where I said they had no chance?
I know nothing about futbol.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/3c582eb228d2c549188be1fef44e07cf/tumblr_o9if0f16Zl1ric2iqo1_1280.jpg
Don’t worry, your reasoning was still better than the analysis main stream sports media were giving for why England would beat Iceland.
Most reasoning is better than the analysis main stream sports media.
2 non-Bale goals? DA FUCK???
http://67.media.tumblr.com/7255d5b269a6b535d397f8b7ca4a94c2/tumblr_muuvowA5zO1sj4hhxo1_400.gif
BEST SEXY FRIDAY EVAR!!!!!1!!
Check this dangerous ass.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/457de0db2dc8d94761982c7b149cee38/tumblr_mvc5qloKUI1qiaclwo1_1280.jpg
https://youtu.be/e9xi2UDAfi0
I’ve been thinking about doing an England fans act reasonably post. But now it would be too late, eh?
DO IT!
http://66.media.tumblr.com/903926de13e232d847ee0b6a2a6c871d/tumblr_n6v03pIMNz1rla36eo4_1280.jpg
https://youtu.be/KTjDxHTlzg0
https://youtu.be/cdnRSCW3LTc
I’ve driven a Dodge Caravan (different ones) for 15+ years. I’m now driving a Dodge Sport pickup with a V-8.
/I prefer the latter vehicle
http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/muppet/images/2/2e/MMW_Gonzo_soccer_ball.png/revision/latest?cb=20140914004206
“GO WHALES!”
-Greenpeace
Because you have to nuke something:
“Bomb the Arabs and take their oil”?
I’m surprised neither Buzzfeed or #Upforwhatever has written a 1000 word think piece about how the Simpsons predicted the future.
How we doing, you fine folks of the internet?
I just filled up on some great hangover food (Tim Hortons) and have been enjoying the first half of Belgium/Wales and keeping an eye on Ice Football Free Agency.
Islanders looking like the Off-season champs.
I finally killed the fly that the painters let in the house. Huzzah, time to enjoy Lesser Footy with my entire ass!!
I had two options for my company’s shuttle to the local train station today and I stupidly picked the later option. Thankfully, I can stream Lesser Footy for the hour I’m wasting.
Pound town that is.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/327683f79e55ded5a0cb93ce4c62ee31/tumblr_o6heq9kVOO1rjib3yo1_1280.jpg
London?
Afternoon half is about to begin, but I just want to express my embarrassment and annoyance. Someone posted a macro of this photo
http://cdn-s3.si.com/s3fs-public/2016/04/11/jpp-inline-630.jpg
With the caption “JUST A FRIENDLY REMINDER TO BE SAFE THIS WEEKEND” and I laughed. It’s funny, right?
RIGHT!?!?
Anyway, then I saw it was from NFL Memes. My heart broke a little at seeing a friend repost those dicks. :-/
Especially in light of the recent sponsorship post AND MANY OTHER TIMES people here have joked about ShockerPP himself around here.
At least you know it did not originate at NFLmemes, NFLmemes.
I gave up Alien Vs. Predator for this?
http://67.media.tumblr.com/097ccdeb0390958454b383309a18f288/tumblr_nm25zx77Rt1qbd52ro2_500.gif
“Relax, Belgium is way out of range…”
holy shit, what a strike
http://67.media.tumblr.com/7c8a9be418d57d8727ccefcecfdb7402/tumblr_o1tk9okQCI1qbw8k5o1_1280.jpg
or gonna comment.
RUMOUR ALERT!!!!
Supposedly, Everton’s 30m (pounds sterling) bid for Axel Witsel has been accepted. So, I have a double rooting interest in addition to Big Rom!!
/also a giant erection (sorry FOAR nightmare fuel tmi)
http://66.media.tumblr.com/61adf381dbf61b2d78f204fbfd151e21/tumblr_na4cpwQPFH1qbe766o3_1280.jpg
http://66.media.tumblr.com/5b2db58913f06d838231ee30ae779f28/tumblr_o7a7z3UZYq1uwmtq8o2_500.gif
http://66.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l5qjwxdYGw1qzlnx8o1_400.jpg
I weep for Edmonton fans.
http://www.sportsnet.ca/hockey/nhl/milan-lucic-signs-7-year-deal-edmonton-oilers/
Today in WTF?
His mom? The toy hatched seems a bit over the top.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l7snuwMJSx1qzlnx8o1_1280.jpg
Sill, I know the Pens won the Wales Trophy five times, I just can’t remember if they hoisted or not touched the trophy that last time.
And by the last time, I’m referring to their first time.
I think this is it:
http://bloguin.com/thepensblog/wp-content/uploads/sites/26/2009/05/trophy.jpg
May everybody have a good time with family and friends this weekend.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l6jenaHJCz1qabj53o1_1280.jpg
http://67.media.tumblr.com/ab81ba10b9a9c27c9f4d0a2e0dc8987e/tumblr_nv5b0mho0x1ru67qro1_500.jpg
http://67.media.tumblr.com/d9f468156edcc97be5a0f27f13298934/tumblr_nvjtluN4Bb1ru67qro1_400.gif
http://66.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l8srrlKBOy1qzlnx8o1_1280.jpg
The Penguins have won the Prince Of Wales trophy five times…
Happy Canada Day!
http://i.makeagif.com/media/7-01-2016/F9qRdm.gif
It’s like Independence Day’s little brother!
(j/k god bless you hosers)
So, real potentially-insulting question: Why is Canada part of the Commonwealth and is still technically under the Queen?
Isn’t that saying you’ve got your own place when you’re actually living in a room over the garage of your parents’ house?
I’m going with “too polite to tell her to fuck off.”
Pretty disrespectful way to refer to Justin Trudeau even if he is a bit fruity.
I never liked Doonesbury.
Really? I grew up on that sarcasm.
Nah, it just fit the joke.
FLIES RIGHT OVER DAMN HEAD!!!
That’s just embarrassing.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canada–United_Kingdom_relations
I understand. My question is why?
To rephrase the question: why is Canada STILL part of the Commonwealth and not its own country.
A box in the attic doesn’t affect how you run the kitchen.
My frame of reference, of course, is KITH
From what I understand, it’s both.
The inscrutable issues of non-violent colonial divestitures…
“Free Agent Frenzy” is the part of the convention where Donald Trump tries to land a VP pick.
I read that as prick. Still works.
If we’re talking about finding the prick on Chris Christie, you’re probably right.
That fat fuck.
http://cynobs.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Farva-1.jpg
Not sure which I’d find more humorous/horrifying: A picture of Trump naked with Christie’s face covering Trump’s crotch or a picture of Christie naked with Trump’s face covering Christie’s crotch.
This would help the campaign either way
It’s going to be Hillary, isn’t it?
“You see America, when you liberate a country, you’re supposed to leave afterwards”
Now I hate even more that dweeb who attended South American Euro games dressed like Teddy Roosevelt.
/chain smokes, seethes
The footy game promises to be exciting. I think BEL’s defense will get exposed and they’re gonna have to score at least two to win. Italy, to me, has been the best playing side in Frenz. They even beat BEL, but DeBruyne was horrific that day. But yeah, the Belgians have the players to beat anybody left.
Happy Canada Day to all. Celebrating independence: what a wonderful thing.
Great post, W.
Hey, if you decide to hunt him down FOAR SPORT, lmk and I am eager to tag along.
Ironically, Teddy himself would have found that to be pretty cool.
Like Nixon, he was a Republican of such weird contrasts. He was so visionary on protecting wild areas, creating national parks, etc. But MY GOD, the testosterone-and-racism-based foreign policy. Which again, is hard to square with how he was less odious than most with respect to black people in the USA.
I give TR big props for trust busting, and some of his Ruthian exceptionalism was not so grating. The rest, well, you know…
Have you read “The Imperial Cruise” by “Flags Of Our Fathers” and “Flyboys” author James Bradley?
http://i.usatoday.net/life/_photos/2009/11/25/cruisex.jpg
There’s a reason it’s one of the few of Bradley’s books that hasn’t been made into a movie.
Reading the reviews of this is pretty fun. A lot of people seem to think book is a bunch of poorly-researched bullshit.
TR was definitely a fascinating president.
Doing a lot of research into the time context and his upbringing help the understanding of him, but still on the domestic policy he was bordering on what they would call a damn soshalist now.
Teddy Roosevelt’s Food and Drug act is something that won’t be memorized in schools, but, holy shit, that was a really important act to implement.
Shit, Belgium are down another defender (Vertongen – sp??) due to injury. We could be looking at 4-3 GONZO FOOTY WOO!!!!!!!!!
My pill bottle will be at the ready, fo sho.
Eh, I never cared for Tavarez, even that one season he was with the Cubs.
http://cache.boston.com/bonzai-fba/Globe_Photo/2006/03/27/1143497278_8207.jpg
I could have sworn he played more than one season with the Cubs. I like the fact he was the centerpiece in the deal that acquired Matt Clement and sent away Dontrelle Willis.