It poured in our nation’s capital yesterday, washing out many a bbq and celebration. Despite the weather, the massive “Capitol Fourth” concert PBS broadcasts from the West Front of the U.S. Capitol went on as planned, unless you were watching at home and noticed the sky alternating between gray and clear…oh and that it was an entirely different year at times depending on whether or not there was scaffolding on the giant boob in which the giant boobs in Congress meet. The good news is that it led to this amazing tweet unironically reported by the Washington Post:
Feeling personally victimized by @PBS and #capitalfourth for using stock firework footage. It's cloudy and gross today not perfectly clear
— FIGHT FOR 51 (@KSisemore) July 5, 2016
Who else thinks that’s AMAZING? Show of hands?
Anyway, as far as I could tell from a quick glance at ESPN during breaks from work, only one NFL player was shot last night. Good jorb, everyone!
Cubs have a day game, NBA and NHL free agency continue, I’m pretty sure Wimbledon is on but don’t understand tennis, and Tom Brady has quieted those rumors that his troll level would prompt him to speak at the Republican Convention to help anoint Drumpf. Too early for whisky?
I’m sure tonight’s regularly scheduled programming will contain more helpful information. I hereby declare this thread OPEN!
[…] the fuck do I keep writing [Holiday] Eve posts? Bastille Day Eve, July Eve, Christmas Eve, July 5th, wait, most of these aren’t real. Maybe I’m just making up Eves. But it’s not […]
The average American woman weighs 166.2 pounds…
So, as of this morning I weighed ten pounds less than the average American woman.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2015/06/12/look-at-how-much-weight-weve-gained-since-the-1960s/
We’re just expanding out to fill in all of this great American space we have.
Don’t worry, I’m sure you’re worse than the average American woman in other ways.
Yay! Finally an underachievement to be proud of!
I’ve taken this week off and am treating my boys to bottled honey garlic chicken and rib eye steak (NO! YOU CAN’T SLATHER A-1 SAUCE ON THAT!!!) This is the middle ground I must occupy with these damn kids that I’m not entirely sure are mine.
/the wife (lover of *any* kind of mass-produced steak sauce) is not on my side
In principle I support you, Sir.
However, while I don’t slather it on my meat (phrasing), I do use it to mix with other things, especially stews. It is a wonderful for seasoning.
/also uses wayyyyyy too much Old Bay
//fuck you in advance for the forthcoming Baltimore joke
If Old Bay fails to find its way into my Bloody Caesar’s, I am a sad Blondie.
Nice call. Maybe I was wrong about you.
You can’t separate my steak sauce from Shepherd’s Pie but goddamn, give the steak a taste before destroying said taste!
Pickapeppa is like concentrated A-1 with extra Jamaican voodoo-magic!
http://pickapeppa.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/PKP_logoRound1.jpg
But, yes, don’t put it on a good steak; salt, black pepper and maybe some raw sugar applied pre-grilling.
Crime news? THAT’S MY BIT! YOU STOLE MY BIT!
http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/theft-of-ancient-bones-a-debacle-for-national-park-service/ar-AAi5m7W?ocid=ansmsnnews11
http://www.msn.com/en-us/money/companies/twinkies-maker-hostess-set-to-go-public/ar-AAi7aYZ?ocid=ansmsnmoney11
https://www.doorfliesopen.com/index.php/calendar/
Chicago; they KNOW how to celebrate US Independence day:
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/breaking/ct-chicago-shootings-july-holiday-weekend-20160705-story.html
It’s Chicago’s favorite game: Fireworks or Gunshots?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hAoIKNMAANM
Why the fuck do I even glance at the comments? #masochist
So I guess my brother was incredibly misinformed and we get Memorial and Labor days paid but not the 4th… so back to the grind for me!
http://i.makeagif.com/media/8-22-2015/zJa8kX.gif
http://www.nfl.com/videos/nfl-network-total-access/0ap3000000659569/Is-Christian-Hackenberg-the-answer-for-the-Jets-at-QB
3 questions:
1. Why do people like defending Hackenberg so much? He doesn’t have an exceptional arm, athleticism, or intelligence.
2. Shouldn’t Bill O’Brian be on the hot seat for backing Brian Hoyer?
3. Why is Michael Robinson a thing?
“Hack” may be able to figure it out as an NFL QB, but he is a couple of seasons off.
http://image.nj.com/home/njo-media/width960/img/njcom_photos/photo/2016/05/06/-709f38fc3df02d5c.JPG
Oh, then he’s doomed.
I woke up with conflicted emotions still about KD coming over the Warriors. Obviously, I am ecstatic, but it definitely feels flashy. It would basically only be made worse if Lebron jumped ship, too (again), but before doing so, just urinated on the state capitol building.
The NBA should just contract to Cleveland and Golden State at this point.
I normally work four 10-hour days but my company recently started doing paid holidays. I get to leave two hours early all this week and I am WAY too excited about this.
Which is why I always erase my browser history
Googlebing is shaking its head at mine.
However! All the weird shit I search for has been searched for by others, and even then some of the suggestions make even me go “Really, REALLY?”
But I digress.
My body is not used to the lack of booze in it at 1pm, since the last 5 days it’s had a steady stream of booze starting around 11:30 in the morning.
Even better, I’m taking today off too. I’m going to drive down to San Diego.
I’ve got to see that baby!
Hide that baby! He’s trying to get those stem cells for his knee!
She’s at Sharp Mary Birch hospital for women and newborns.
ALL OF THE STEM CELLS IN THE WORLD!!!!!
Also, if you need some NFL fix, All or Nothing is streaming (free with your Prime membership) on Amazon. As a Cardinals homer, I binged it this weekend and, aside from John “Shoulda Left Him In That Cage” McCain being in the final episode, it’s good. Hamm’s narration sounds like a National Geographic narrator talking about the Serengeti and, while it gets a little over-dramatic at times, all I can say is that the next season should definitely be the Vikings.