NFL News:
- Megatron admitted the culture & acceptance of losing in Detroit factored into his decision to retire. They went 54-90 during his 9 years, only making the playoffs twice. He admitted more success would have made it more difficult to retire, so he looked at what they had on hand for 2016 and made the decision. Renew those tickets, Lions fans!
- Alshon Jeffrey is playing hardball with the Bears, who have until July 15 to get a deal or watch him play under the franchise tag for 2016. The tag will cost $14.6 million, and he apparently wants Doug Baldwin money. The Bears would like him to come in a bit cheaper.
-
Looks safe to me. Packers Hall of Famer Paul Hornung is suing Riddell over claims their helmets didn’t prevent him from suffering concussions during his playing days in both college and the pros. He is trying to tie in concussive head injuries with the dementia he’s developed since his playing days. He’s seeking $50000 in damages, and the case is separate from the class-action lawsuit being considered by the NFLPA once they settle with the League.
Finally, in a delightfully titled article – “Ricky Williams Takes the High Road” – SI is planning a video and large-form story for July 13 on Ricky Williams and the tricky issue of medical marijuana and the League’s rules on non-traditional medicines. Given Megatron’s recent accusations on painkiller abuses by the League, it should be an interesting read & watch.
Your July “Malt of the Month” is The Glenlivet “Nadurra”.
Ooh, she’s a summer beauty. Let’s see what you told Mr Hefner…
Nadurra is Gaelic for ‘natural’, and this bourbon-cask matured whisky from Glenlivet is a pure reflection of the elegant, fruity whisky made at this Speyside distillery.
Bottling at cask strength with no chill filtration allows the whisky’s fruity character shine through, while the cask adds richer notes of vanilla.
Oh, that’s nice. Now, before we publish this, let’s see what your ID says, young lady:
Colour: Light gold
Nose: Sweet pears, soft vanilla fudge
Palate: Juicy pineapple, ripe banana, citrus zest
Finish: Medium, refreshing
Enjoy with: Seafood chowder
Well, I’m sold. I’mma get you home to meet the family.
It’s only 17 days until training camps open. 17…
To whet your whistle, here’s a CFL missed field goal returned 121 yards for a touchdown.
Plenty of good sports this weekend. UFC 200 Saturday night (BORK!), and the Euro final Sunday morning. Most Canadians will be watching Wimbledon prior to the Euro, to see if Milos Raonic can finish his magical run. He finally beat Federer today, and faces Andy Murray for the Men’s title on Sunday.
Tonight’s sports:
- CFL: more doubleheader action!
- Calgary @ Ottawa – 7:00 – TSN
- Saskatchewan @ Edmonton – 10:00 – ESPN2 / TSN
- UFC: The Ultimate Fighter – finale – FS1 / TSN5
- Undercard – 8:00
- Main event – 10:00
I’m abandoning you all for a bit. Thanks to everyone who agreed to cover the open threads next week while my mom visits and I get my summer school class under control. I enjoy doing them, as writing them both keeps me thinking and gives me a necessary distraction from prepping grammar lessons. But the time commitment of visiting relatives will subtract from the available time I have to manage my efforts. In short, IN OVER MY HEAD!
I guess I’ll get some Stone Mocha IPA in the morning since I’ve had it on the brain since the other night.
Steeley Dan – Dirty Work
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghcsrblhn7A
Saturday, keeping up my record of being hungover at the damn gym. I’m lush as fuck this week.
Just do your cardio first and sweat out the booze before lifting
I just curse more than usual and make more cutting remarks. It’s all good.
I need you as a workout buddy so when I do it people don’t give me looks
Oi, squats, get fucking low.
Exposing Baby WCS to proper television at the appropriate age.
At that age they don’t understand shit. Read something fun with interesting sounding words, like the entire Game of Thrones books, or the Economist. They’re just learning sounds, so take the opportunity to curse lots.
I think the baby should be ok with it
I doubt the baby’s the one who might have a problem with it.
One more Nate Dogg. Sure they claim it is a Dre song but Nate Dogg’s verse is the best
Dre – XXplosive
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5lqZXq06DiE
Don’t let anyone tell you IHOP ain’t sexy.
Damn, it’s been a few years since I been out till 9 am. About 4 actually. I wonder if Tai’s is still the closest 4 am bar?
One more video game classic from JSRF aka Lucio The Game:
Scapegoat Wax – Aisle 10
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Obcn6wjcYE
It’s a bit late (01) but
Immortal Technique–Dance With the Devil
(If you haven’t heard it, it’s some heavy shit)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qggxTtnKTMo
Gogo got that old school hip hop beat.
Warren G – Regulators. I was gonna go for a more obscure song with Nate Dogg but instead went to the one everyone knows him from
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1plPyJdXKIY
HOLD UP
Perfect time for some THPS2 goodness.
High & Mighty w/ Pre-Crazy Mos Def – B-Boy Document ’99
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5ZE-XbePdc
Not on theme, but, ’90s. Besides, you weren’t +1ing Beastie Boys, anyway.
Ice Cube – Today was a good day
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4UqMyldS7Q
If we going real old school, it’s Wild Style. If you ain’t seen the movie, you haven’t seen a movie with a great soundtrack about teen angst and spray painting shit.
Feel like it might be early to pull it out, but Gangsta’s Paradise.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpGbzYlnz7c
Fun fact: This came up for karaoke at my friend’s bachelor party, and we all looked at each other and said “Amish? Amish.” And we sang Amish Paradise instead.
I got a new pair of Adidas recently and wore them to my gym, and I got my trainer to play “My Adidas” cause hellz yeah. This song is just fucking hilarious, and I am at a loss to know why “You be illin” is not an expression people use all the damn time. TOUCHDOWN!
Damn kids don’t know nothing anymore.
Snoop – Gin and Juice
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DI3yXg-sX5c
I do gin and Pelligrino Aranciata. It’s totes similar.
So, I have a tendency to think things are common knowledge when they aren’t. A totally non-scientific survey just barely proved that people in my age group mostly know what a Yugo is. In a similarly unscientific survey, who here knows what a doppelganger is? And while I’m at it, who here knows how to flush a toilet with a bucket?
Of course I know what a Doppelganger is. What do you think all the comic books were for?
http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/spiderman/images/2/2c/Doppleganger.gif
I know the toilet thing because I grew up poor.
Old school rap night? Cool.
Skee-Lo–I Wish
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ryDOy3AosBw
I do wish I was a little bit taller, but I’ll pass on most of the rest. Love this shit though.
I hope I am the one that started that because I am on board
Something, something this is from IASIP…. It’s not. Just like the song and it showed up in my youtube suggested section
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9aofoBrFNdg
http://imoviequotes.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/202-Airplane-quotes.gif
http://crazyhyena.com/imagebank/g/funny-pool-prank-jump-open-legs.gif
I see you saved Moose’s late night gif
Run DMC – Tricky
https://youtu.be/l-O5IHVhWj0?t=77
So….the thing about phrasing, you can’t really say it if the phrasing was intentional, because then you’re just playing into their hands. But when it’s unintentional, SO MUCH PHRASING.
Agreed. And FWIW, mine was not intentional, and it was not the joke to which I was referring. I noticed it after the fact but was too lazy to change it. Plus I like saying Phrasing. And I was also too lazy to pull up a good meme.
Such a good movie. Every line is quotable.
I’m still watching football. I didn’t move. Can’t go to sleep, gotta pick people up. That awful midway point.
So despite my best efforts to weasel out of things, I appear to have a date with that kid from that show a couple weeks back. Does going on a date with a guy 9 years younger than me make me a cougar? Should I start batting at low hanging strings or adopt other feline behaviors? My nails are kind of long right now, will they become retractable? What about my sense of smell, will it improve? When cats hunt, they stick their ass in the air, does this mean it’s doggy style if I get drunk enough to sleep with this dude?
No. No and No.
http://izquotes.com/quotes-pictures/quote-she-was-drunk-so-i-took-her-back-to-my-place-and-we-did-it-doggy-style-not-because-we-planned-it-dave-attell-207814.jpg
I don’t know the correct answer here. I would screw it up and ask to hang out with you and be interested in your likes and dislikes. As a guy I have to lean to the ass in the air thing though
Yes, yes and probably.
As this guy’s age, I feel like I’m most qualified to say… no unless it becomes a trend, no, no, that’d be cool but no, and not necessarily but not not necessarily, if you know what I… yeah you know what I mean.
I used to have some fucked up neighbors on meth (maybe) that had really achievable aspirations. They wanted to move to WV, have the guy become a coal miner and the girl become a housewife, and buy a shitty house there. That was their dream. I think they moved down the street in Chicago and got a job with the TSA.
Shana, they bought their tickets. They knew what they were getting into. I say, let ’em crash!
DMX – Ruff Ryders’ Anthem
https://youtu.be/ThlhSnRk21E
DMX songs amuse me greatly. His songs are just full of hyper-masculinity and over-the-top violence, but his hey day was when I was a freshman in school, so people like me have him mixed in with our nostalgia playlists. For my Overwatch sessions, “What’s My Name?” is right between Mr. Jones and Break Stuff. I wonder how he’d react seeing a bunch of nerdy white people rocking to his music while grinding levels.
I’ve randomly had the hiccups for the last ten minutes (I’m not THAT drunk!) and a combination of breath holding, drinking water/beer and listening to AC/DC seemed to resolve it.
You are that drunk if you go AC/DC. That being said someone really, really drunk for the first time in 2 weeks after some sobriety is gonna give you a song
Beastie Boys – Sabotage
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5rRZdiu1UE
@Zymm The “FBI Surveillance Van” identifier for internet connections has been around for 20 years in the nerd community. It is an old joke now.
http://media.giphy.com/media/oN8bFRkHmeRl6/giphy.gif
http://www.armscontrolwonk.com/files/2015/01/fbi.png
But a goodie.
SCIENCE IS A LIE!! THEORIES OF EVAPORATION AND CONDENSATION DON’T EXPLAIN THIS! DON’T THEY ALL JUST DIE ON IMPACT?! MY UMBRELLA DOES NOTHING!! NOTHING!!
“It’s Raining Men?”
“Yeah, not no more it ain’t!”
Shit. I’m actually watching CFL football. I’m gonna look for more Pokeymans. I’ll be back.
http://www.ktvq.com/story/32403198/wyoming-teen-playing-new-pokemon-game-on-phone-discovers-body
Did you ever get really high and wonder why nobody was commenting and then found a link that said “newer comments” and feel like a dipshit?
Me neither.
Hiya folks!
http://i.perezhilton.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/dolly-parton-dance.gif
Snatches of conversation heard out of my window that I wish I knew more about :
“You don’t even have the right to talk to me about time, man”
WHY NOT?! IS QUANTUM INVOLVED?! ARE EITHER OF THEM DR. WHO!?
Though I guess Dr. Who has never been a middle class African-American so probably not to that last one.
Not to be confused with conversation of snatches. Very different things.
They may have lips, but they don’t really talk.
Well…….
Oh nevermind. Nothing good can come from me making that joke.
(and yes, phrasing on me)
Tennis is awesome. It’s like pool, but faster, and you peak at two drinks in instead of four. All about the angles.
I like the hot athletic women in shorts. Also the sex grunts or over the top horrible grunts
Grunting in tennis is a sign of poor training. Also, tennis skirts are the best shit ever. It’s great ventilation with pockets and no real possibility of indecency in public, since they’re all skorts. I only figured this out this year, I was missing out.
So I’m watching the fake Packers vs. the fake Eagles – who should I root for?
Is that a catch?
Touchdown Fake Seahawks!
Go Fake Meteor!!!
Seventeen and you didn’t go with ABBA?! Dancing queen, young and sweet only SEVENTEEN.
Also, while Alshon is awesome, there is no way the Bears pay for him. It took them ages to pay for a QB and everyone hates Cutler. It’ll be another 10 years before they pay for a receiver. If he wants to get paid and stay in Chicago he should start learning how to play linebacker. I can think of a dozen teams, both good and mediocre, who could make way better use of him.
Sondre Lerche – It’s Over
https://youtu.be/Xx20ypMjh_Q
I was looking for literal titles. If 16 fell on one of my days it was either going to be “Sweet Sixteen” or a picture of Traci Lords.
A BRICK MEATHOOK CONSPIRACY THEORY:
There’s a building across from me that I’m convinced is a spy headquarters. I have no solid proof of this, but then a spy headquarters would make sure that there was no solid proof of this.
THIS HAS BEEN ANOTHER BRICK MEATHOOK CONSPIRACY THEORY
http://www.oldcastle.com/projects/victorias-secret/gallery01.jpg
I mean, it’s right there in the name
You’re in LA, right?
If you’re anywhere near Westwood, you are correct.
But which one? I assume Mossad.
There’s a wifi in my area called “FBI surveillance van” but I’m pretty sure it’s not. When I was in high school there was a shop in downtown Silver Spring that purported to sell artificial limbs, but we never saw anyone in there. Pretty sure that was a drug front. Or the rent was just really cheap before they revitalized shit. Or there really were lots of people in the area buying artificial limbs. I’m pretty sure it’s gone now, they built the new public library on that space.
Yeah, well, in Elkton, we had an illicit abortion doctor that was just tossing aborted fetuses into a fridge and leaving them there. Cecil County had a disproportionate amount of psychopaths.
In fifth grade I cheated so hard on a test where we had to label all the counties in MD. I do actually know where Elkton is though, and have been there a few times, though I’ll be damned if I remember why. Probably something horse related.
Were you saving them? Horse neglect/abuse is another of Cecil’s disproportionate accomplishments!
I did volunteer at a horse rescue, but that was in Mt. Airy.
I fucking hated that test.
I didn’t move to Maryland til I was 13, but I had to do it for Delaware. Equally hard!
There are counties in Delaware? Are they all called Dupont?
Not anymore. Thanks Dow! Coincidentally, Dow also caused massive layoffs where I live now by acquiring Corning on top of it.
http://www.plasticstoday.com/sites/default/files/images/the-graduate-plastics.jpg
After Baltimore and Howard (where I lived), I might get Anne Arundel and PG right about have the time, but never at the same time. After that, it was a crapshoot where the names were gonna land.
Ummm…did I just type “have” for “half”? Jeebus.
I got about half right legit. I was in Montgomery, so PG, Baltimore, Howard, and a couple others I was good with. Some of the panhandle stuff was fine with a bit of study, Alleghaney and such, but after that? I still have no clue where the fuck Prince William county is.
I know where Fredneck is!
Oh wait, I do, Prince William is in VA
Best self reply in evar!!! Right there, folks.
I lived in Maryland for 10 years. I can confidently point out Cecil and Baltimore County. I can only care so much about which geographic area was named after the King’s besties.
I have no damn clue who Prince George was, but I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t be super proud of the county named after him.
No shit, right?
Before Stern left DC101, he used to kill with PG county jokes.
Shit is too narrow to reply to WBS, but there’s loads of stuff that’s actually pretty cool about PG on a national level, but I will absolutely mock it on a local level. I’ve lived there, so I can. It’s love. Tough, nasty, unhealthy, abusive love.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8yucCqFvog
Now I remember why I pass over my Stone Sour playlists. Night always ends with sad songs.
Alice In Chains – Over Now (Unplugged)
https://youtu.be/rGi7YrnZIno
I already have sad Corey Taylor doing Nutshell playing. It is the /wrist of music.
https://youtu.be/rGvR6s0yF3k
A Canadian football game ended in a tie? What the hell? WE PAID FOR BLOOD!
Wouldn’t that be a drauw?
sElf – Runaway ‘Official Video’
https://youtu.be/IwAIwRrs6xs?list=LLXfZEbmkohC2hY6PGLjI_JQ
Has Alex Jones called Dallas a false flag operation yet? Or did he declare it real, unlike Sandy Hook?
I mean, has he had time for any of that between his endless orgasms?
Fair point.
He seems like a relatable, stable individual.
Can I like this? This is not great.
Meh?
George Harrison – Got My Mind Set On You (UK version)
https://youtu.be/Lrwynz4613g
Time for the weekly “joke that has already been made but I live under a rock”:
If only those police in Dallas had been armed they would’ve been able to defend themselves, just another argument agains gun control.
It can also double for this week’s “Joke whose irony would be lost in total on the people it’s meant to make fun of/are the problem.”
I have seen this in both a mocking and super-serious tone so many times today that I’m temporarily numb to stupidity.
Maybe you’ll enjoy its runner up:
It’s too bad veterans can’t use all the thanks and thoughts and prayers they get for something like civilian job training, therapy, food….
MURICKA: We love are vets till they need to pull themselfs up by there boot straps and get a job. #2A #TCOT
I’d love just once to see a politician admit that veterans are disposable, the de facto government policy of every administration since George Washington and his predecessors under the Articles of Confederation.
If only we gave them bootstraps.
Similar to the fundamentalists’ paradox: Is abortion still murder if the baby is gay?
Yes, because being gay is a choice.
But without thoughts and prayers, how will they hold out until facebook adds a custom profile pic filter?
I watched a cop get murdered by a civilian carrying an AR-15 last night. The only thing this changes is that cops are going to be more inclined to use force.
Additionally, they then used a robot to summarily execute (i.e. murder) the suspect even though he was contained and outgunned. Which means that now it’s not only legal to murder Americans overseas with robots, but now you don’t even need to leave your home to be murdered by a government robot.
The robots will revolt not to take over but to save us from ourselves.
Death solves all problems. No man, no problem. — Josef Stalin.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1S8stvm8po
I don’t know when bands started making official lyrics videos, but really dig the idea of turning them into motion comics that tie into stories from other music videos.