NFL Roundup:
- Nick Foles asked for, and got, his release from the Rams. He gets to keep his $6 million roster bonus paid in March.
- No word on if it counts against the cap, but it would just make something laughable even funnier.
- The good news keeps coming for the Cowboys. As a result of having three players on the suspended list, they are forced – by League rules – to pay a $250,000 fine.
- Mike Wallace failed his conditioning test with the Ravens. He’ll get another chance later in the week.
- According to Florio’s Funhouse Follies, Greg hardy tried to join the Roughriders in the spring, but the CFL shot down his attempt to cross the border.
- Here’s the takeaway line: “[I]f the CFL won’t touch you, it’s reasonable to wonder who will.”
- Your of-note PUP list update:
- Jamaal Charles (Chiefs)
- Ryan Matthews (Eagles)
- Pernell McPhee (Bears)
Here’s for Chargers commentists like the Low Commander, Big Daddy Drew gave the Chargers the “Why Your Team Sucks” treatment today.
Finally, as the banner image indicates, 80s & 90s poster legends the Costacos brothers have teamed up with Russell Wilson on a fundraising campaign for Wilson’s “Why Not You” foundation. Here’s a link to the site, and here’s a link to SBNation’s fantastic story about the brothers and their rise to fame.
Last night sold me on another Bill Clinton presidency. (Looks up 22nd Amendment; shakes head) Well, tonight is a veritable who’s who of Democratic luminaries on the speaker’s podium:
- Civil Rights Leader Reverend Jesse Jackson
- Actress Star Jones
- Former Governor of Maryland Martin O’Malley
- Actress Sigourney Weaver
- California Governor Jerry Brown
- Director Lee Daniels
- Actress Angela Bassett
- Gabby Giffords and Mark Kelly
- Dr. Jill Biden
- Vice President Joe Biden
- Michael Bloomberg
- Lenny Kravitz
- Democratic Nominee for Vice President Tim Kaine
- President Barack Obama
Plus associated folks talking about tragedies in Orlando, Charleston, Sandy Hook and Iraq. I’ve broken up the list a bit, but the descending order is essentially correct. Lenny Kravitz goes between Joe Biden and Barack Obama. Fucking Star Jones? What – was Whoopi unavailable? Also, I guess Jesse knows where he stands with the modern party now; it’s been, what – 30 years since the “Hymietown” crack? Finally, where’s the modern equivalent of Rosey Grier?
There look to be about 25 speakers in total, once they began things about 4:00 EDT. I’m willing to bet Joe Biden gets a “You should have run” type of chant before or during his speech.
Tonight’s sports:
- International Champions Cup – on ESPN2
- Real Madrid vs Paris- St. Germain – 7:30 (Columbus, OH)
- Bayern Munich vs AC Milan – 9:30 (Chicago, IL)
- MLB: White Sox @ Cubs – 8:00 – ESPN
I can’t believe (well, maybe I can) Trump actually asked Russia to hack America and find Hillary’s missing emails. That should just about put the nail in the Reagan Revolution. DUTCH WOULD NEVER DO THAT!
They really did a fantastic job with distributing appropriate signs for this convention.
Lofty signage
http://cover32.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/bearsfan.png
It’s amazing at what Democrats prioritize when it comes to organization.
“There has always been a growing middle class”
The middle class has been dying for decades, Joe. We’re currently experiencing a jobless recovery and an unprecedented flow of wealth to richest individuals on Earth.
But I get your point.
Is Elizabeth Banks back doing the intros for peoples speeches? I’m not turning it on if she isn’t.
Fuck, I miss Capriotti’s.
Ol’ Brown Bag Joe!
Malarkey?
Slow down with the salty language there, Joe.
Hey, “Saw” is on. That’ll excellent training for watching the Bengals this season.
If Hillary has to pay for her own servers, I see no reason why she shouldn’t make school teachers pay for their own supplies.
“Pay for servers? Oh hell no!”
– LeSean McCoy
Rikki with a friendly reminder that we need to start making football jokes again.
Thank goodness the 2020 election campaign season will be rolling by the end of SB 51 so we’ll have something to talk about next offseason too.
Comment training camp is now officially open.
Diamond Joe is a genuine and very decent man. I still love what he said 8 years ago that went like “don’t tell me about your values, show me your budget.”
Why the hell don’t they run this guy???? I still can’t get over how the Dems annoited the ONLY PERSON TRUMP COULD BEAT over a year ago.
He said he didn’t want to, especially after his son died.
Have you never heard him talk in the primaries? I love the man, but there is not an up he can not fuck.
Yeah, people forget he’s a gaffe machine. Worse than Hillary.
“You want gaffes? I GOT GAFFES!”
-Hillary Clinton
“I…oh, never mind. I misheard.”
– Mike Glennon
I genuinely laughed out loud at this imagining Hillary thinking “oh, I should do that and then they’ll finally like me!”
Barry and Diamond Joe each trusted her to carry forward their legacy, or he would have run, with Barry’s support. It would have been easy for Barry to cut HillyBob loose, and call for a tan, rested, and ready (even through the grief) Joe Biden.
But he didn’t. I believe, truly and deeply, that there is something deep and significant behind that.
“Joeeeee…….Joeeeeeee”
Why was everyone saying there wasn’t any American flags at the DNC? I just saw one when Joe was walking out!
Day 1 apparently dint have enough flags for Trump supporters who apparently have no idea what country they are in and need to be reminded by it visually every hour
1 flag= 1 like! MAGA!
“Only a commie pinko would wear a flag pin that small!” – This Shit Again
Trump took them all in back to fuck ’em.
Oh yeah. That’s that good homer shit right there.
So Republican Convention was a complete shit show… and the Democrats are running a wonderful succinct well-managed convention… now if only they could find a candidate!
“That day better come soon because we’re about to commit you to another undeclared war right…nnnnnnow!”
::Floor opens up and troops fall onto planet to fight bouncing balls::
I met Joe Biden when my mother took me to a Democrat rally in Wilmington, DE, when I was 9, and I’ve been a Democrat ever since. Now my mother–the woman who once volunteered for Jesse Jackson’s presidential campaign and raised me on progressive liberalism–is newly married to a fierce conservative and her facebook wall is full of “Crooked Hillary” and “All Lives Matter” memes.
http://www.bigonsports.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/Donald-Trump-Shrug.jpg
That’s true love, man.
*of money
Sounds like another victim of Obama’s Recession.
They’re a joke here, but I don’t want to make fun of your mother.
Why not? That’s what I do
Okay, you insist.
Your mother must really love make up sex, I guess.
See. Not really bad, but it might imply your mother’s a whore.
To be fair, so might I.
Yeah, that’s frowned upon around here.
Also sisters.
Hot hot sisters.
So Im interested in hearing what Bloomberg says… I have been thinking if there was a secret establishment republican who will come out and endorse.
Holy shit Warren Sapp got bitten by a shark.
http://www.tampabay.com/blogs/bucs/warren-sapp-bit-in-arm-by-shark-while-lobstering/2287103
Did the shark die of food poisoning?
No, but his cholesterol level did immediately increase by fifty points.
So a pimp threw a shark at him for not paying up?
How do you know the shark wasn’t the pimp?
Did Sapp bite back?
What music are they gonna play when Joe Biden comes out? Aerosmith? Whitesnake?
theme to the Office?
The Office intro.
Jinx
I’ve always felt we were kindred.
Right now the Atlanta Falcons front office wants to know who these protesters are so they can give them all season tickets.
Nah they just recorded the sound for next season
Dangeruss looks like a six year old up past his bedtime in that poster
“No more war!”
-People who are about elect a person who is going to continue expanding war efforts
No more wars?
Shows what those Bernie Bros understand about how our economy works.
This Russia shit is the last straw, I think. When a milquetoast “both parties do shit” guy like Chuck Todd is talking about threatening/selling out basic national sovereignty on live teevee – and dude looked fucking PISSED, like Trump had fucked his sister or something – nobody is going to treat you like anything other than a fucking clown anymore.
Also, Panetta is tearing him a new asshole. As well he should. Trump is an affront to all we stand for as a nation and as decent human beings.
It’s a great opportunity for the Republican politicians who WANT to cut bait with him to go ahead and do it. I think if the polls weren’t as close as they are you’d see that happening. If this convention puts Hillary out in front you still might.
I’m thinking there’s a 25% shot W or Romney (Utah goes blue then, Mormons already hate Trump) endorse Hillary, if only for the commander in chief part and to draw a line in the sand about basic fitness to serve.
Which in the case of W seems like some real “through the looking glass” shit but here we are.
The people who really own this country* will never let him be elected.
(*Not just the Chinese and Saudis, but them too)
Well Chuck Todd is Sleepy Chuck who is lucky that Donald graces his failing show known as Meet the Press.
Or so Donald says
It irks me that everyone that crosses him gets a middle school nickname attached to them and it sticks.
I was about to ask where the professionalism went and realized it left the room way before this election cycle.
I wasn’t a decent human being before. I ain’t about to start in November.
Conversation at work, today.
Me: I don’t think you’re following the directions correctly.
Coworker: Yes, I am.
Me: Are you sure?
Coworker: Yes.
Me: According to this, you’re not.
Coworker: How do you know?!
What I said: Because according to the directions, it says…
What I wanted to say: Because I can read, dumbass!
HOW DARE YOU FLAUNT YOUR LITERACY PRIVILEGE
Is your co-worker a Republican candidate for president?
Non-combat lieutenant? Yeah, that’s how you establish credibility…..
Red State paradox: Attack a democrat, but also a soldier. What to do??
I think we settled this ’08 when they booed the gay soldier at the convention (if I recall correctly).
You do!
Totally forgot about that.There we go.
In true GOP defense, the guy was asking for it walking around that bad part of politics all being a homosexual like that.
What is this chant now?
Donald “I have no idea what I’m doing” vs. Hillary “Technically not illegal” Clinton.
http://kodegarment.com/image/cache/data/T-Shirt%20Designs/Everybody%20Sucks%202016%20-%20blue-600×600.png
The more I read about Tim Kaine, I wonder if it’s too late to just let him be the nominee and we just bypass all this unpopular Clinton/Trump stuff.
I’m kind of surprised the Democrats haven’t shot themselves in the foot by trotting out Judge Aaron Persky to explain about law and order.
Oh shit. Kota Ibushi is already on NXT.
Seriously though, can you imagine how hard Trump is going to crush his reelection opponent? He’ll have the full force of the CIA and the FBI backing his campaign staff. I’ll be surprised if anyone even dares to throw their hat in the ring against such a powerful nominee.
I don’t think Trump will make it to a 2nd term. He won’t be assassinated, but my money’s on impeachment or coup d’etat by the military.
You know, after thinking long and hard, I’m crossing over. I know I haven’t agreed with them in the past, but I’m thinking they might be better than what I have right now.
I am going to boxers.
Boxer briefs, dude.
The DNC’s musical interludes have certainly been on point
The RNC really shouldn’t have gone first. Now I want to vote for Hillary instead.
Ah, the seductive power of basic competence…
Until stupid Lenny Kravitz shows up. God, he sucks.
Oh shit — and I already forgot that they applauded Sarah Silverman.
Nevermind. #Trump2016
They always a third option.
Write in “None of the Above”.
If I write in, I’m writing in Redshit.
Since I live in a red state, that gets tallied as a vote for Bush. Touchdown Seahawks.
If you have Redshit, I have to refer you to a doctor.
HOW THE FUCK YA DOIN
I’m alright. You?
I didn’t realize Giffords still had that much trouble with basic movements. This sucks. I mean, I get that it’s supposed to, but shit.
They are both role models.
I’m not saying she’s acting but I’ve seen her on the television where she doesn’t appear to struggle as much with her motor abilities.
She took a bullet in the brain. That alone could cause some shorts in the circuitry.
Is there such a thing as a situational/third down cornerback? If so, I think ARI should bring in Cromartie to….
….
…..
I dunno. Something stupid. It’s training camp for dumb fan comments too, you know.
Angela Bassett lookin’ fine!
So I’ve been checking in with the Trump AMA and it’s actually really boring.
I assume it’s being as tightly monitored as a Chinese social networking site.
I’d be shocked if it’s actually him.
Based on the lack of off-the-wall answers, I suspect you’re onto something.
He has the beast AMA people!
“…all of whom I greatly admire.”
Using the correct word in a who/whom situation? Yeah, that ain’t Trump.
Holy shit, they’ve gilded his AMA NINETY EIGHT times.
I WAS ON THE TENNIS TEAM WITH THIS GUY!
My submission for Trump’s AMA:
Mr. Trump, your campaign seems to have the momentum of a runaway freight train. Why are you so popular?
50 dollar followup:
Is the Republicans’ slavish desire to cut taxes just a plan so that the resulting crumbling infrastructure will give us many more runaway trains that you can base campaigns on? As opposed to some psychotic obsession with Grover Norquist?
Mr. Trump, would you say your fans like you most because you want to slash taxes, brutalize criminals, and rule them like a king?
My finacee has always wanted to live in San Diego for a couple years (we live in Boston). I sent her Magary’s fantastic description from the Chargers write up in hopes of dissuading her.
Why wouldn’t you want to like in San Diego? San Diego is awesome!
I’ve rarely heard good things about it. But then again, everything I’ve heard has come from people in Los Angeles.
I like in Los Angeles and I would genuinely prefer to live in San Diego.
DON’T LISTEN TO HIM! IT’S TERRIBLE HERE! THERE ARE FRAT DOUCHES EVERYWHERE AND THE WEATHER ISN’T NEARLY AS NICE AS PEOPLE MAKE IT OUT TO BE! I’M SURE YOU’D BE HAPPIER ANYWHERE ELSE!
San Diego is nice.
Don’t forget the many corners of masturbating children.
Fuck Roger Goodell. Fuck Spanos. And most of all, fuck Boltman. I look forward to another year of a grown ass man dressed as a lightning bolt appearing at city council events to vouch for a new stadium in San Diego. Because his C- in high school Economics gives him the nuance to discuss city finances.
Oh no… No no no no NONONONONONONONO!!!! YOU FOOL! YOU FOOLISH FOOL! YOU’VE DOOMED US ALL! IT IS THE END OF TIMES! THE BOLT WILL SEEK VENGEANCE IN THE FORM OF BLOOD AND ETERNAL DAMNATION BEYOND YOUR WILDEST HORROR! FLEE! FLEE YOUR HOMES, BURN YOUR OFFICE AND SACRIFICE YOUR FAMILY IN SOME HOPE THAT YOU AND YOU ALONE WILL BE SPARED!
“(King Laserface)’s a Quiverfull doofus with twice as many children as playoff wins. Make that three times as many a year from now.”
That is pure poetry.
Do you think Jerry Brown understood the reference when the crowd started chanting “Jerry!”
I’m all for loyalty, but if I were a Chargers fan, I’d want to push this organization into a tectonic rift.
I’d settle for the Spanos family being fired… out of a cannon, into the sun.
Thanks for the link though. Was wondering when Drew would get to the BOLTMEN.
He’s going in (original) draft order. So…yeah, you weren’t going to have to wait long.
http://67.media.tumblr.com/949dbb84a22881096368d671197cf4ae/tumblr_n3h1zwn2Y71si123no1_500.gif
Damn, Sigourney Weaver lookin’ GOOOOOOD…
I’ll tell you what’s too high…Aldon Smith is too high!
“I’ll tell you what’s too high…the top shelf in these kitchen cabinets, that’s what’s too high!”
– Danny Woodhead
“I’ll tell you what’s too high…that kitchen counter where you’re defrosting those burger patties, that’s what’s too high!”
– my dog
Goddamnit, I hate Lenny Kravitz.
“Mr. Putin, tear down this firewall!”
–Trump