NFL late-Friday News Dump:
- The Cardinals have extended Fitty through 2017 and Carson Palmer through 2018.
- Mike McCarthy vows to never give up play calling again. So get ready for more Packer field goals from the three.
- Brandon Marshall threw a punch at Darrelle Revis in practice Friday. Looks like the Jets are in mid-season form.
- Third-year Titan’s safety has been suspended for opening day for violating the League’s substance abuse policy.
- Aaron Rodgers is expected to miss the Hall of Fame Game Sunday. Because, reasons.
- Maybe they can get Brett Favre to play. Some idiot at the NFL Network asked him whether he’d like to get paid to back up Tony Romo. Fortunately, he implied no, which is more truthful than when he says no.
Finally, with Gisele out of the country for the Olympics, Tommy was free to say some things about his suspension.
Since the video won’t embed, here’s a brief transcription from For The Win:
“I think it’s just personal, and I try to move on from it. I try to, like I said, focus on the positive and being here with my teammates and getting better. You know, you don’t want to go out and do anything besides being a great example for your teammates, and we’ve got a lot of competitive guys that have been out here on the practice field. And I think that’s where the focus needs to be.”
I wanted to go further down the delusion rabbit hole, but Barstool Sports made me want to remove my eyes with a stick. This shot at right from their Patriots page should give you an idea. I can’t wait for Peter King on Monday.
It’s Hall of Fame weekend. In honour of that, here’s Brett Favre’s final pass as a Packer, from the seat I watched it from.
Nothing worse than sitting in that cold only to watch the Giants win because of some Hall of Fame stupidity. Which he totally didn’t commit again in Minnesota three years later.
Enjoy the coat, Gunslinger.
As a Canadian, whenever an Olympics comes around I’m expected to recount the few good times and the plenty of bad this quadrennial festival brings to the fore. Canada has hosted two Winter Olympics – Vancouver & Calgary – and the Montreal Summer Olympics. The Winter Olympics were great successes, if you overlook the winning-no-gold in Calgary and the oops-a-luge-guy-died from Vancouver. But if Rio turns out to be a shitshow, all Canadian news will focus on is how it will have been the worst Summer games since Montreal.
Montreal was the gold standard for boondoggles. The Olympics were awarded to Montreal after the 1967 Centennial, when the Montreal Expo gave visions of Canada competing on the world stage with more-traditional powers. What they hadn’t counted on were the corrupt nature of Quebec politics and the heavy hands of Quebec’s labour associations & unions. The federal & provincial governments gave money to the Montreal committee with no oversight, until in 1975 the upper levels finally forced the city to accept their control. Major contracts were given to construction companies with ‘alleged’ mafia ties, and unions held up construction until the were forced to be paid overtime to ensure completion. The Guardian recounts that out of a total of 530 potential working days between December 1974 and April 1976, the workers would be on strike for 155 days – 30% of the work time available. They didn’t finish building the Olympic Stadium until the morning of the opening ceremony, and rumours still abound that they were installing seats during the March of Athletes.
Speaking of athletes, there was a boycott by most African countries, because New Zealand was allowed to attend Montreal despite violating the international sporting ban on travelling to South Africa by going there on a rugby tour.
Here’s what it came down to, and is one more reason the IOC continues to anger Sill by not having full-15 in the Olympics.
They didn’t finish paying off the stadium until 2006. Adjusted for inflation, the cost of “The Big Owe” was $1.6 billion. BEAT THAT, NFL OWNERS!
This month’s “Malt of the Month” is Cardhu Distilling’s 12 Year-Old with Two-glass pack. Hmm…let’s see what your transcript says:
- APPEARANCE: Golden honey.
- NOSE: At full strength, heady, nose prickle, pear drops and tightly integrated heather, resin and sweet honey-nut notes. Enticing. Intriguing. With a little water, still harmonious but less pronounced, allowing some malt-cereal, soft, spicy wood, moorland and faint traces of wood-smoke to appear.
- BODY: Soft, pleasing, medium.
- PALATE: Palate Well balanced, smooth mouthfeel; short punch, sweet and fresh, then a pronounced drying effect. Enjoyable at any time, with little or no water.
- FINISH: Quite short. Some lingering sweet smoke in the attractive, drying aftertaste.
Brief research on Wikipedia tells me Cardhu is “a Speyside distillery near Archiestown, Moray, Scotland, founded by the whisky smuggler John Cumming in 1824. The distillery is currently run by Diageo and the distillery’s Scotch whisky makes up an important part of the famous Johnnie Walker blended whiskies. The word “Cardhu” derives from the Scots Gaelic Carn Dubh, meaning “Black Rock”.”
Well, that rules me out. Not a Speyside fan.
Tonight’s sports:
- Olympics: Opening Ceremonies
- NBC: 7:30 EDT, 6:30 CDT, 7:30 PDT (tape-delay)
- CBC: 7:00 EDT, 4:00 PDT (tape-delay)
- TSN: 6:30 EDT, 3:30 PDT (live)
- Boxing: Premier Boxing Champions – 9:00 (ESPN)
- Benavidez-Douglin (light heavyweights)
- TEH KITTEZ: Kitten Summer Games – 8:00 (Hallmark)
Remember that even though the Hall of Fame Game is terrible, terrible football, it IS football, and it’s just four short weeks until the regular season. WE CAN DO THIS!
I hope Maldives has a diving team
They do, but they’re….bad.
This is outstanding!
Reposting this. Also, I envy and resent all of you with alcohol.
“Well, not all the kids.”
http://thumbnails115.imagebam.com/49845/6789eb498441385.jpg
“All the good ones.”
In a just world this man would be reviled.
Mmmm…laksa…
http://www.veganrecipeclub.org.uk/sites/default/files/styles/basicbreakpoints_theme_startersite_tv_1x/public/images/recipe/Laksa%2520new%2520pic%2520original%2520june%25202014_0.jpg
Sulu Dance
https://youtu.be/lFzRNWf7Gi0
Balloon Knot!
More prosthetic eyes are made in Liechtenstein than anywhere else in the world.
False teeth as well I believe.
OK, you just made it weird.
http://browsa.se/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/DagensBilder2013110845.jpg
I’m getting another beer. Misspellings incoming.
Seriously, Eastern European women are fucking banging. Impressed every time.
That’s that xvideos keeps telling me.
Damn, Latvia women
I swear to God Lesotho is not a real place.
The new CPO of my company is in this band. Guess which one he is!
Too busy laughing to even try to figure it out.
ARE YOU A CLOWNZ?!
/has been called worse
//has been called worse….today
Is it the stupid one?
Red Hat
Nope, think blonde wig
Dammit. Why did Sill and I think the same?
But sure, I’ll take a poke at it (giggity)….
Dude(?) back row to the far right….
(Big money, no whammies)
You picked the same as Sill! I’m gonna have to tell my CPO that his old band mate looks way more CPOish than he does, lol.
You might need to be more specific as far as blonde wig.
I narrowed it down to 50/50. Flip a goddamn coin. Or a regular coin.
Knowing Sill…and knowing myself…we probably just picked the most heinous just to be dicks.
/sorry Sill, but you know it’s true
ICELAND BEAT ENGLAND….NEVER FORGET
Wasn’t it like 10% of the population that showed up for that game?
Someone had to man the penguin counting station.
So who does the most international fucking: the French delegation or the Italian delegation?
The Corsicans
Fuck it, I’m gonna be my own horrible and just play “The Macarena” over this horrible commentating.
I really like Chance the Rappers new album.
When does Harambe come out?
Right after Cecil
Koko sad.
OK, there aren’t that many good coming out gifs/memes.
Please stop asking this question.
So someone from 5 Rabbits brewery was at my corner liquor store tonight offering samples. I bought their Super Pils but afterward I tried their Donald Trump dedicated blonde ale Chinga tu Pelo. I actually wish I had bought that instead.
http://beerstreetjournal.com/5-rabbit-chinga-tu-pelo/
Indonesian food is incredible:
http://www.foodiehub.tv/sites/default/files/Rijsttafel%20of%20Amsterdam.jpg
TRUTH
Yes, NBC. Your ad for some sitcom nobody will watch so much more important that it merits interrupting the parade of nations.
Bring back Boston Commons!
Hey! Look at India! Don’t worry, they won’t win
Some atheists are gonna shit dicks tonight over this Kenyan’s gratuitous use of God in his award acceptance speech. Just you wait and see, folks. (No, literally. Also, NBC tape-delaying stuff that’s literally just one time zone away is honestly some of the stupidest shit I’ve ever seen on tv.)
It’s part of their bullshit narrative-shaping goal where they filter out what they think Americans don’t want to see.
I don’t give two shits about the Olympics because it’s been so processed and digested for broadcast that it doesn’t feel like actual sports anymore.
Get on a VPN and use the CBC coverage online. Absolutely fantastic. Live-streaming every event, and almost all in 360° VR as well. Browser, Apple and Android. We’re spoiled up here.
When does North Korea come out?
Wait, that’s not what you meant.
Wow….I’ve only listened to the commentary for 10 seconds, but I’ve already figured out the quickest way to mute the tv and get another glass of wine. Good for you NBC commentators, you get the record for most obnoxious, and you’re in some pretty damn annoying company!
Hungarian women…Jesus God…
This is great and giving me a 7-8 hour erection.
Quitter.
Hungarians are attractive. Eastern European women are so hot.
http://wlt.typography.netdna-cdn.com/data/images/2010/06/14817-thisthis.jpg
Matt being the fucking douche he is. “how’d signing that petition work out for them?” Fuck you Mat Laurer.
The British are Coming the British are Coming
Bunch of pasty inbred Continental castoffs ruled by a German I MEAN MY PROUD AND NOBLE ANCESTORS
There is a reason Hispanics like polka music.
I’m actually pretty surprised the US hasn’t bribed the IOC into adding american football as an olympic sport to both pad the medal count and get ncaa players to quit complaining about their brutal exploitation.
I’m sure they’ve tried
Actually, I’d be shocked if the NFL did that because they’d be handing over a game they have a virtual monopoly over to the Olympics to let them make money off it. It’s why the NHL and MLB have started their own international tournaments: to control the $$$.
American football is for Murica – not these internationalist socialist types
Those Fiji shirts are sick! Where can I get one?
Macedonia has an attractive flag bearer.
I worked with a Macedonian girl once. Friendly, incompetent, and fairly racist.
Go on……..
Well, I didn’t find her particularly attractive so there’s that.
What I did enjoy about her is that she sat next to a Polish guy and they got quite the husband-wife-like relationship going where they’d habitually bicker and annoy each other without really disliking each other. Had I known better, I’d swear there was sexual chemistry there, but it seems they skipped that part and went right to discontent 25-year marriage.
They call that wife material here.
RTD lost his cherry to that girl.
/tru story bro
Sorry Jimmy Fallon, but no one cares
Can we temporarily ban Amy Schumer and Seth Rogen for about 5 years? They’re ok in small doses.
Estonia is the whitest place on earth.
“You have global warming to thank for that”
-Greenland
Question: has Lolo Jones found true love yet and finally gotten poked by something other than a syringe with P.E.D’s?
Wikipedia says no
I came
Fucking Ralph Lauren. Horizontal stripes with white blue red on top.That’s the flag of Russia you fuck nuts!
The other day I was wearing a white and blue striped top with red pants. Someone told me I looked very patriotic. I said “Vive Le France!”
Love it or leave it Frenchie!
Said no other person of Germanic descent ever.
USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!
NO MORE WAR! NO MORE WAR! NO MORE WAR!
Hey people!
YOU TAKE THAT BACK!
what do you mean “people”?
What do you mean, “you?”
What what?
http://static.giantbomb.com/uploads/original/17/174460/2642407-8586658265-kyles.jpg
Now THAT’S priceless.
Well played, even if I’m the only who recognizes it.
What’s the proper term for 3/5th of a person?
Tyrion?
“Carolina Panther”
-Jerry Richardson
“In 2012, Green received death threats via the Internet after she used the pejorative term ‘tranny’ in a video” – Because that’s an effective protest/advocacy tool. Anyway, now I know who Laci Green is and I wish I didn’t because something important probably got indexed into the inaccessible archives for that shit.
I wish everyone else in the world was dead.
They’re all just shouty propagandists.
Still, there’s something about Laci’s message that…I don’t know…RESONATES with me…
I chafe whenever I see someone under 30 present themselves as an expert in anything. I’m sorry, but very, very few people have the life experience and perspective at that age to offer real wisdom. A girl I went to high school with authored some book in her 20’s and actually has been paid to make speeches. She’s no idiot, but she came from a affluent background and didn’t have much advice beyond the rote and banal.
I just don’t understand how these youtube philosopher types are a thing. I have literally never watched a youtube video where some asshole tries to proselytize the masses into doing whatever bullshit niche thing they’re into.
Me either, but when people are looking for easy to digest, simplistic guidance, YouTube is as good a place as any to find it.
I don’t know or care about her context at the time, but “tranny” is one of those words that I can’t not find humorous, even though I can logically understand why people may be offended, and the social liberal in me doesn’t want them to be offended. There’s a lot of these words. Am I supposed to not laugh at Bradley Cooper yelling “PAGING DR. FAGGOT” from out of nowhere? Because I have a hard time envisioning a world where I don’t.
I have trouble reconciling my sense of humor with my liberal attitudes. Fortunately, cynicism and not giving a fuck works in a pinch.
It’s all in the intent, delivery, and audience.
Everything is offensive and everything is funny when you vary those three things.
Just don’t let on to it in public and no one will ever know.
So I’m watching SVU and their fictional Hudson University just expelled a rape victim. So they’re basically Baylor.
At least it’s not the fictional version of Notre Dame
you know you are watching fiction when a college actually does something about sexual assault or rape
Damn it.
So much bad shit has occurred at Hudson U over the L&O franchises that they may as well rename it Miskatonic U
http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b360/gidneyncloyd/wossamotta-u3_mam.jpg
Hey now. We may have a very high rate of insanity, suicide and possession, but Miskatonic U takes sexual assault by non-tentacled entities VERY seriously!
My apologies. It was wrong of me to besmirch to good name of Miskatonic. Which I still maintain is where I should’ve gone to law school.
That’s a very large yacht club
Team USA is like the evil jocks in every 80’s comedy.
http://www.ew.com/sites/default/files/styles/tout_image_gallery_612/public/i/2012/10/01/ted-mcginley.jpg?itok=lo-pxbiY
“Fuckin Rio, blaming northern hemisphere for global warming. Buncha hypocrites.”
Me: You do know 88% of humanity lives in the northern hemisphere?
What? Brazil is hot!
It was more the pollution argument the meathead was trying to go on. Didn’t have the patience to explain ocean currents, the jet stream, and overall manufacturing outputs to him as I was stabbing him with his own pinkies.
So glad Chicago didn’t get the Olympics. Mostly because they would have build over Washington Park, which is :
a) a beautiful, well designed park
b) highly used by an underserved community
and
c) located in the sort of place where you don’t want to add more decaying buildings
The only city that ever made money off the Olympics was LA, and they could do it again. Why? Because they made use of pre-existing facilities, and then went back to using those facilities again as they did before building them! There are a couple of other cities that, while losing money on the games themselves, arguably benefited, such as Barcelona.
Also, fun fact about the Lake Placid Olympics, the Olympic Village is now a prison!
If they had anything to do with the promulgation of people pronouncing it “Barth-alona,” then no one profited from those Olympics
The L.A. Coliseum was originally built for the 1928 Olympics and it’s still heavily used.
Oh, yeah. Barça. At least they built the facilities in a part of the city where if they went unused, no one could even see that shit since it’s all buried on the opposite side side of Montjuic from the rest of the city. You’d only be able to see it from the airport.
Even RCD Espanyol, the other Barcelona soccer team, used to play at the Olympic stadium until they got a new stadium in 2009. The FC Barcelona basketball team still, to my knowledge, plays at the arena next to the stadium. And they have repurposed a lot of the facilities – the Joan Miró Foundation is on the premises and part of the athletic village is now a permanent ren fair.
Man, I’ve been to Bratislava and Llubjlana and those are some truly special women.
I had a very odd thing happen to me in Bratislava. It’s the closest I’ve ever been to being physically attacked by a stranger, but I think it was a case of mistaken identity.
I can second your comment about Llubjlana. I was stunned by both the number and variety of beautiful women and how friendly many of them were.
Oh!?
Fucking Christ this announcing basically is a testament to the fucking utter stupidity of the American populace.
“Up next Slovenia…which is a country”…
Along with the painfully unfunny yet predictable puns on Djibouti.
He said BOOTY
Djibouti? There isn’t even a jib called D, out ‘ere.
Georgia…Not Just a State!
I hafta put my cat onna diet. She can’t reach her butt to clean herself. She tries like hell, but ends up licking her paw. This cat has the cleanest paw and the stinkiest butt you can imagine
That’s the same reason I’ve been dieting
So Denmark is a private school. Good to know.
So I just saw a dog food commercial where the dog was wearing a Broncos jersey. I am pretty sure this was the first time I ever booed a dog.
Been rewatching Game of Thrones I’m in season 4 and I now firmly believe that Tywin knew about the purple wedding.
What about Daeranyaosias Taeagaardaen and the Dragoons?
http://news.images.itv.com/image/file/545410/stream_img.jpg
The Red one? Yes, behind it even. The purple one? Doubtful. He definitely wasn’t too upset about it.
Gird your loins for spoilers, below.
The Purple poisoning was by and large organized by Littlefinger and the Tyrells, especially considering Littlefinger was the envoy that sealed the Tyrell alliance with Joffrey after Renly’s death. And it was basically a frame job on Tyrion/Sansa, whose marriage was hastily set up by Tywin before she could be removed from King’s Landing and married to a Tyrell (Willas), joining them to the North.
http://img.pandawhale.com/post-34700-psych-NAILED-IT-gif-Imgur-QK6j.gif
http://i.imgur.com/mhEsbmh.gif
Strong.