Judging by the response folks around here had of the game last night, this Week 4 slate is not football fan-friendly at all. No starters worth their salt/guaranteed contract are going to play for any length of time, if at all. I thought perhaps of running down various position battles up for grabs but fans of that specific team are already in the know and not-fans couldn’t be less interested if the sayyyy….wily veteran manning the left guard spot for The Whomevers is going to hold off the small college 5th round pick.
Look, if we watch at all, it’s to see if there are any injuries that might screw up our team’s chances. Or better yet, severely undermine a hated rival’s chances of being competitive. (Hey, Cowboys Fans!) Week 4 of the the preseason is a lot like NASCAR is all the time. Yuck. So here are tonight’s games-
Giants vs. Pats vs. Jets vs. Eagles vs. Who? vs. Cowboys vs. Jags vs. Falcons vs. Bills vs. Lions vs. Titans vs. Dolphins vs. Colts vs. Bengals vs. Steelers vs. Panthers vs. Browns vs. Bears vs. Ravens vs. Saints vs. Packers vs. Chiefs vs. Rams vs. Vikings vs. Broncos vs. Cards vs. Seahawks vs. Raiders vs. 49ers vs. Chargers.
Now Let’s Go Out There And Tolerate These Sports Matches!
App State shooting themselves in the foot
Via Rich Cimini:
“Jets rookie QB Christian Hackenberg has 26 attempts and 33 passing yards. Don’t know if I’ve ever seen that before.”
I feel like a piece of shit.
Butch Jones is a combination of Houston Nutt and Ed Orgeron.
I still haven’t forgiven him for leaving UC before a bowl game. I can understand Brian Kelly leaving early for Notre Dame; its a once in a lifetime job. But Jones leaving early for Tennessee was a weasel move.
Inorite?
– L. Kiffin
The sailor singing the anthem at the Chargers game was clearly a Petty Officer First Class, not a Chief Petty Officer First Class (on the stadium P.A.) or a Chief Petty Officer (on NFL Network).
#inoticethisstuff
You’d think people would actually care to notice the difference during Military Application Night.
Unless of course, it’s just blatent lip service that means nothing.
Pffft. Lip service from The Shield? Never
I thought he was a Richard Petty Lieutenant
Tom Petty Officer (Ret)
Man, if you can’t get that right on Military Appreciation Night at a stadium in a city that is basically a huge military base during the most watched National Anthem of the week, it makes me wonder what else the NFL fucks up.
Only movie to ever get the Navy right is “The Last Detail”
http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQDumpzcpoq4xEZa0Fpiqg_VpSUiRuBlurLvFXQaKHquPxmb_-B
http://thumbnails116.imagebam.com/50249/54ba39502487914.jpg
Kap: “I wore wear my pig cop socks before I sat down for the Anthem.”
Oh, well then that’s entirely different.
I’m just glad the fans didn’t boo during the anthem like I expected.
I hope he continues trolling everyone all season. He has a special ability to piss people off and I hope he doesn’t waste it.
This is what disappoints me so much about Cam Newton. White people, especially old dickhead sports writers, already despise him for being black. He was also doing a great job of not giving a fuck or outright antagonizing them until the SB loss broke him. Then he goes All Lives Matter and I am one of those people who sees no value in it. They’ll never not hate him, so why give in even an inch?
I’m thinking it’s an endorsement deal thing.
http://67.media.tumblr.com/f05f4c72b663f56fe277e7ead6fbba40/tumblr_mz2stkRqUM1qaoeoqo1_r1_400.gif
/suddenly becomes Donks fan
/passes out from gasping in the thinner air at a mile high altitude
“Great ball handling”
YES! TOUCHDOWN! NO OVERTIME! PRESEASON IS ALMOST OVER!
http://67.media.tumblr.com/034a7e1069837c4d464dc44d006fd321/tumblr_o2ghljWuCk1rx4ivwo1_500.gif
http://ktla.com/2016/09/01/four-aurora-shooting-survivors-ordered-to-pay-cinemark-nearly-700000/
They should’ve sued gawker instead.
Considering the contempt we hold for the NFL, just imagine the NFL if it did all the same shady shit it does (ignore its players’ criminal activity, diverted resources away from the public to fund stadiums, etc.) but decided not to pay its players anyone and you pretty much have NCAA football.
yeah, the chucklefucks that run that are criminal almost beyond imagination
That missed PAT from App State could be costly.
Well missed pats at Penn State proved really costly.
http://www.saturdaydownsouth.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/rutledge4-1-650×342.jpg
Immediately after photo she went to the same surgeon that “fixed” JPP’s hand.
Pitch #2- Everyone loves “Murder She Wrote”. Its a wonderful procedural with a fantastic leading lady. Helen Mirren, plays “Gloria Jacobs”…as the international best selling murder mystery author who solves crimes in her spare time. Wherever Gloria goes, a murder goes down…and the smart lady beats all the odds by routinely solving the mystery and putting the bad guy away.
Halfway through season two, Special Agent Bobby James (Forest Whitaker) arrives in the small Maine coastal town that Gloria calls home. To the minor annoyance of Maine locals, and local bumbling sheriff (John Goodman) who depends on Gloria solving these crimes, Special Agent James starts asking questions.
The second to last episode of the second season climaxes with the Sheriff discovering Gloria in the mist of brutally disposing of the body of Special Agent James. It turns out that Gloria knew exactly who the killer was the entire time…and it…was…her.
At the local jail, Gloria proceeds to explain how each and every murder was performed. How each and every one was a thing of beauty. Each one a careful, complex setup to make sure that no one would every expect the same woman was always around countless murders. And she explains this…the same way you or I discuss unclogging a toilet. Pure…unadulterated…and complete inhuman description. We see flash backs and relive each murder throughout the season.
The last episode deals with the massive fallout. Countless innocent victims are being released. We see Gloria, in a “Hannibal Lector” mask being led away to a mental hospital.
The final shows ends with the sheriff completely destroyed. Everything he knows is gone. Right and wrong mean nothing. Unknowingly, he was part of this monstrous, destructive cycle with numerous victims. He sits in bed, he wife trying to show support when the phone rings. He holds it to his ear for a moment…and just slowly lets it hit the bed.
“Honey….what is it?”
“Gloria…she….um…she escaped”
/Fade to black.
Uh… wow. Copywrite that now. That may be worth some money.
It would never work. It requires an amazing set of writing and a commitment from a studio. Great actors. Basically everything that “Breaking Bad” had…but there is no initial kick. You have to hope you land a good procedural with no one having any idea where it will go.
And Helen Mirren is fucking required. I would literally crawl across glass just to have a sit down with her at an cafe in Rome and just pick her brain.
He did as soon as he posted it.
(This is your IP law nugget of the day)
Alright, Bengals. Don’t kick a field goal. Touchdown or loss. No OT!
I know its the SEC network, but can the announcers continue to suck UT off some more?
You’re watching the Sucking Everyone’s Cock network too? I thought you had to pay extra for that!
Jared Goff also looks like a piece of shit, but in his defense it’s probably pretty hard to quarterback when you can’t really breathe
Butch Jones at the half: “This is the thanks I get for keeping you assholes out of jail!”
https://youtu.be/n5ybOvQtXuk?t=4m11s
Boy howdy, does that SEC East look like a bag of shit…AGAIN
Today I saw a pickup truck with a huge confederate flag in the back. I wanted to follow that truck, pull that racist, piece of shit, redneck, dickcheese, peckerwood, asshole out of the car by his greasy mullet and pound his fucking face into the gravel.
I didn’t do that. But I wished hateful shit on him. Fucking asshole.
He’s flying a flag used in an ACTUAL REBELLION against the United States. He probably thinks not standing for the anthem is a sign of treason.
Hey, my country RIGHT OR WRONG, unless, you know, they go around saying I can’t own black ppl
I’ve seen him around town twice already and it fills me with hateful rage. Like I’m running low on that.
If I ever seen that truck parked, I’m slashing the tires. Fuck it, I can afford a lawyer.
Come visit here for a few days. Your head would explode.
The only place a Confederate Flag is needed is:
– in a museum.
– Confederate Veteran Memorial
– a Confederate Veteran’s grave
1st is obvious. 2nd and 3rd is for respect for the dead and those who forget about history will be doomed to repeat it.
4. My Robert E. Lee themed orgies.
http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/vyvHAj0.gif
The Battle of Appobuttoxx always is popular.
Can I be Jefferson Davis next time?
Call me 🙂
I usually play Sherman so watch the fuck out.
Fire in the hole?
That’s every weekend regardless.
Nice pick. Let’s go…three and out.
I believe the 49ers player who wears #69 has the last name of “Cherry.”
The jokes write themselves, folks!
You really do want CB to kick your ass don’t you?
smgdh
She’s not afraid of me.
That’s kinda my point. LMAO.
Wow, #69 really got popped on that hit!
Nice
This is Tennessee’s defense? Their veteran team?
Tennessee looks like the Sun Belt team right now.
TV Idea:
Survivor: Rednecks vs. Hippies
Rednecks all day
Hippies: “This is a test of our souls against mother earth.”
Rednecks: “Sheeit. This is Tuesday. Now where’s that mother?”
Bengals Play-by-Play Commentator: “Here comes Adam Vinatieri for this field goal try?”
Bengals Color Commentator: “Oh, I hope his misses this sucker.”
“I’m tired of this bullshit with your hormones.”
47 years on this earth. two sisters. a mother. my father was an OBGYN. married for 15 years.
You’d think I would learn.
Surprise, I have not.
Bourbon by the bucket for this evening, my stalwart friends.
Bourble Mode: Engaged
Interesting. I made a statement earlier about every person in my life who contains estrogen was a huge pain in my ass. I then got yelled at in stereo, but I was laughing my ass off and didn’t actually hear what was being yelled.
Ah, good times.
Ah yes, the new KFC “Daddy’s Had Enough” meal.
You made your mark, now you have Maker’s Mark
I figured the Tennessee hype train was too far ahead of itself but I didn’t expect this
Tuned in just in time to see the Vols fumble a snap.
Hopefully this means it won’t be my Hogs losing to a team they have no business losing to this year.
TV Show Pitch 1:
Reality TV is still sort of hot. Pros- Super cheap as long as the lawyers make good release forms and everyone signs them.
We have an island. Cameras everywhere. Little or no interaction with the outside world.
Its nothing but people from Reddit. Its /r/redditisland…in real life. Will it be a libertarian paradise? How will 200 neckbeards function as a coherent social group?
As corporate tie ins, participants must complete challenges for cheetos, slimjims, and 15 minute blocks of internet access.
Gotta get Mountain Dew and DragonDildos.com in on this, then.
(I’m ashamed that I know about this. I haven’t visited it though, I swear.)
Challenge #1: See which person can go the longest without mentioning Hitler in a political debate.
Apparently JJ Watt from University of Texas – Houston is going to play in their season opener.
No, bad Colts! Bad! Don’t go into Field Goal range.
Did you guys know app st beat michigan in 2007?
No way! Next thing you know a guy like Jimmy Graham played basketball
Are you kidding? I remember where I was when I heard it.
yeah, Spurrier definitely retired at a convenient time. They shitty.
Apparently the Bengals 3rd Team O-line is trying to get the 3rd String QB killed.
Appalachian State is hot hot hot!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HjO6FDCPIzA
You know…everyone gives Penn State shit for the Joe Pa crap…but the Ravens are still employing Sandusky as a play by play guy…
Folks!
You!
Boot attachment!
Please care about people.
https://twitter.com/NonWhiteHat/status/771503026049806338
Holy shit.
I think it was regular shit.
Everyone likes to hate on lawyers. Some of the most amazing, caring, and dedicated people I have met where lawyers.
I think it’s like most professions: you’ll find decent people if you look hard enough and shitty people if you look hard enough.
Can we monetize the shit out of this website so none of us ever have to work again? I’d be up for whatever if we can make that happen.
Apps and ownership will do it. Most of us don’t have the latter and hopefully the site won’t have the former.
Or Ads. Maybe charge people for use of an edit button.
We have at least three good prime time TV shows and a decent movie script from the lot of us.
There is NO WAY we are shittier than NBC at writing TV programs.
My Life Sucks: The Redshirt Story
Or ABC… Or CBS…
Fuck, I watched the first episode of Brain Dead. I could’ve made a better show with a handicam and a wig.
Thats it. Let’s get writing.
http://big.assets.huffingtonpost.com/seinfeldnothingsupercutgif.gif
I say we post original nudity and charge subscription fees. I’ll volunteer some nudes of myself first just get things started.
/blog shuts down within minutes
No, let’s reverse this. Give me five bucks or I’ll start stripping.
Five days later:
http://25.media.tumblr.com/7747602ffb00f8bca26d2ecef35a682b/tumblr_mslx9kWDn11rkumvuo1_400.gif
While I don’t get paid much of anything for my scribbling, I will gladly donate some of what I laughingly call “artwork” to make that happen.
Actually, if we know anyone who can make a mobile phone app, we could probably make a decent one out of a few of the dumbshit characters we’ve created here. Just a quick “change the names to protect the guilty” thing and we’re golden.
I really want to say “Draw me like one of your French girls”.
But I won’t.
And yet… somehow you have.
Inorite?
I’m a clever sumbitch sometimes.
Oh, please Colts. Don’t get a field goal. I don’t want a 3-3 game going into OT.
“Oh Great. My ears are burning AGAIN!”
-Mike Vanderjagt
Shouldn’t have let that Thai ladyboy hooker fuck him in the ear.
Anyone think that Kenny Florian is smart enough to recognize that reference of the Brazilian BattleBot team as the “Boys from Brazil”
Doubtful. Hopeful, but doubtful.
http://calendar.artsboston.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/calendar.artsboston.org/images/event/35134/raunch-logo-259×300.jpg
D..Dicks out?
Liek they was ever in ,, smh
When RAUNCH finally went all in and showed Bessie The Walrus in that see-through negligee… Well, I’ll just say that was the day little scotchnaut became (a very close resemblance to) a man.
The state of football in 2016: the definition of a catch is so confusing, that the ball clearly hit the turf and it required a five minutes review to confirm it.
http://media.giphy.com/media/3oEdv5fFQuiidQOghi/giphy.gif
http://25.media.tumblr.com/d275bee5ee1588664fa4a541e2a8d132/tumblr_mf59e0po0R1rvlag0o1_500.gif
Yes I laughed.
But only because a 3 TD lead in Raleigh has me in a decidedly better mood now.
Flipped to pack/chefs. I am missing nothing. Robot smashy smashy has been far more satisfying.
I tried listening to that Tomi Lahren Kapernick diatribe that Deadspin posted, and I made it maybe halfway, just about to the point where she decided to misunderstand that “oppression” doesn’t always mean someone drags you out behind a barn and shoots you, before I had to shut it down.
Listening to this entitled airhead should be a new drinking game.
Good lord, I listened to it and needed to wash my ears out with turpentine. It’s a shame that someone that hateful also turned out to be so goddamn hot. She’s on the short list of 2016’s most terrible people for sure.
I’ve tried to explain this to friends and colleagues…in a lot of ways, I prefer people to be open and racist as shit. Let me know exactly where you stand and I will do the same.
Its the people that try to make it palatable that I cannot stand.
Oh, I fully understand your stance, and support it. I don;’t care if she’s racist as shit, she’s just shrill and stupid. I don’t need to hear any more of her dumb shit.
“Pssst… Tomi, hey Tomi? You are aware the police has been pretty crappy to all races recently?”
I will be honest, I record every interaction I have with the cops when I get pulled over (Yes, I do look like my avatar racially) partially because I am an asshole libertarian, but if you think blacks are the only people who have issues with policing you are dreaming.
She’s incredible. The Ann Coulter cloning/genetic engineering experiments have turned out even better than anyone could have imagined.
I flipped over to BattleBots real quick and saw some image of the seeding.
It makes no sense. They have top seeds facing top seeds right away. Who is running this fake league? The NBA?
It’s the finals. Was 32.
By why don’t they re-seed?
Or is this like college football and the seeding before the first game of the year? Where it means fuck all.
The latter.