Mia/Sea-Arian Foster has looked fantastic in pre-season for the Dolphs but the Seahawks will be interlocking their arms for peace? justice? hope? I don’t think it’s been thought through-how the hell can anyone catch a fish that’s thrown their way as happens on a regular basis in that city? Prediction? Miami and new coach Adam Gase get throttled and leave the environs with their fins between their legs. There’s an enormous talent gap between these teams.
Det/Indy-Detroit’s inevitable 5-win season begins with a road loss to the Colts. Guys like Ameer Abdullah, Theo Riddick and Eric Ebron don’t inspire much confidence. Wr Tate should take some time adjusting to being doubled so I’m thinking that wr Jones on the other side is a good bet to put up solid numbers all year long. As per usual Chunky von Butterscotch will be heaving the ball for the Lions. Hmmm…after doing a bit of homework I’ve discovered that Indy’s lousy D will be missing up to 4 starters. They’ll also be starting rooks at lb and safety and cb Cromartie has been with the team all of 3 weeks. Last one with the ball wins.
Giants/’Boys– Today a nation (or two) learns the phrase Dak! Slurping. Yeah, the youngster out of Mississippi State got the bandwagon Cowboys fans hearts a-fluttering with his “can-do attitude” and his “stats” and his “enthusiasm” and such. Makes me sick how far the guy is going to fall when Dallas backers figure out he’s not white. In “Holy Hell” news, the Giants don’t have a single player of note on the injury list! And they only had to spend 200 million in free agency to make it happen! Wait, I don’t think those two things are connected…
Finally the Giants get pressure.
http://kingoftheflatscreen.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/600full-aly-michalka1.gif
FYI Bob Lamey is the Fat Hump playbyplay guy
https://twitter.com/ryan_long_01/status/775075331107676161
I miss Calvin Johnson, but Dez Bryant is making up for his absence
The most important question to ask, when determining a catch, is: “Was the receiver Dez Bryant?”
Megatron: “You don’t have me to kick around anymore!”
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Did anyone else see the Dolphins fan doing the Carlton? We need to gif that
http://rumorsandrants.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Lauren-Tannehill.jpg
Lauren Tannehill, enjoying dinner on her “cheat day.”
That’s not a catch, Dez. You should be accustomed to this.
I’d like to see a color rush game between Seahawks in all fluorescent green and Dolphins in all bright teal.
It would be a beautiful sight to have as the thing that burns out my eyeballs.
Played in Boise of course.
Oh yes. That’s the stuff.
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view5/3019573/indiana-jones-face-melt-o.gif
“Thug is being generous when it comes to Richard Sherman.”
– AltRight
So, uh, is there a QB in next year’s draft that rhymes with “suck”? Asking on behalf of the State of Indiana.
I feel like the 12’s should have been louder about that ST coverage.
Perhaps the craft beers haven’t gotten in them yet.
omg let the Fat Humps get destroyed by the Lions
TD Lions, guy I’ve never fucking heard of!
Caldwell showed emotion. I don’t know where I am anymore.
I love lamp (shade).
How stupid does fabreeze think we are?
If house work consisted solely of spraying stuff, every guy would be doing it.
and by doing it I mean we’d all still be too lazy to do it, but it would be better selling simply due us buying bottles we’re never going to use
I like that Rawls picked up 9 yards on a first and ten then gave the first down signal.
Then the ref announced a ten yard holding penalty.
Skip chill out with that controversial ass opinion about Gronk potentially being an all time TE
Man…..
fuck Skip.
10 year olds singing whitesnake is just all the wrong. Their parents aren’t even old enough to sing that ffs.
the worst part is that whitesnake isn’t even that good.
that song was 90% video and the other half was the chorus.
http://static.tumblr.com/05692d698f87fefcc77923a6ab5a7ce6/guwxsok/guMmxpzkq/tumblr_static_tumblr_lw2jd9ppxg1r7iyfmo1_250.gif
I know. My nostalgia boner is all confused between the memories above and what’s on the tv. That’s not right!
How on Earth are C-Hox not dominating? Not that I’m complaining, mind you
I’ve been wondering the same damn thing
I was thinking the same thing. My only thought is Adam Gase might actually be a really good coach. He did get Cutler to not fuck up that much for a whole year
Russell lost his magic touch after hooking up. Remember what Mick said to Rocky: “Women weaken legs.”
Yea, but at least David Coverdale can finally buy a new Hoveround and maybe even a set of premium dentures.
Because the Seahawks still have Darrell Bevell at OC?
Strong Hate. Lofty Hate.
So this new show with guy from NCIS (Bull). Is its purpose to say our entire judicial system is bullshit because there is someone manipulating it anyways?
You know your team is fucked if Larry Donnell is catching touchdowns against you. Larry Donnell can’t catch a goose feather pillow. Also Go Giants. WOOOOOOOOOO
Good news: Giants score.
Bad news: Giants D goes back onto field.
So instead of a Catch 22, it’s a Catch 7?
Oh yeah! I can watch 12s v FISH.
Come on, Suh! Show DangeRUSS what a stomp can do.
Also, is this a new MIA color scheme?
Ah there’s that defense I remember
BECKHAM NOT-DOWN!
ODELLUS URUNGUS
wow, the Humps are shiiiiittttt
How bad are the Fat Humps D? They let Fat Stafford scramble for a 1st down and he’s looking like Dan Marino compared to Luck.
…without Megatron.
That INT slipped off of Cromartie like an over-lubed condom.
Like he’s ever seen a condom
Baldwin has terrible facial hair. Ok. I am a fan.
Just got back from Costco. No comment.
But I see Dak is on. Afterall, why wouldn’t I want to see the Cowboys?
Only 1430 at Costco!
http://i.imgur.com/WyeuiFC.png
They made a Deepwater Horizon movie?
less expensive than doing anything about the spill.
easier solution!
Is Treat Williams in the remake?
Why? Just why?
“Can you believe our top executives did all the right things to prevent an event like this from happening, and thus should NEVER be held personally liable, but yet we are still in the middle of this burning death trap?!”
I take back what I said about chicago blackouts.
assuming detroit/indy is on fox, Chicago is playing giants/cowboys over det/ind.
I only know because of the idiotic colts fans (and one lions fan) who apparently don’t have sunday ticket are complaining on facebook about it.
lol
Cowboys need Touchdowns not field goals.
Is there anything worse than Troy Aikman and Joe Buck calling a Cowboys-Giants game?
I’d say no, except that it’s a tie with hearing them call a game that includes any other two teams.
“The Cowboys O-Line is the single best unit in the entire NFL, Rikki. Would you like me to talk about them some more?”
-Aikman
Timely penalty, Dallas.
Goddamn It!
Also, this “throw to Stills every play” strategy is puzzling.
Casillas just fell for the slowest juke in NFL history.
Should Tommy Maddox and Drew Bledsoe have “The Talk” with Tony Romo?
Watch out, or Zeke’ll get ya
I am watching the clock like a countdown to my demise. I really don’t want to go to dinner at my mom’s for my birthday. I am gonna have to pretend I am not pissed I had to miss the end of the afternoon games with my foot out the door the second I get there so I can get home for the late games. The one upside is she is making ribs. Downside she has never made any meal anywhere near the start time she gives me.
I can make you an honorary Indian for the day. Boom, you now have permission to be super late on account of being on Navajo Time.
Playing field position and kicking FGs would seem like a better strategy in this fixture for SEA
I see the Giants are playing the “chickens with their heads cut off” formation, a staple of this defense.
THESE NEW YORK JETS I CALL THEM AN ORGY BECAUSE THEY ARE EXPLOSIVE ELATION FOR FIVE MINUTES AND THEN AN HOUR OF THE BEARDED GUY WALKING AROUND DOING NOTHING.
God dammit Russell
Why, that was a charming INT!
Look at that pass block by Zeke.
I’m gonna keep it real with everybody: I had more faith in the Raiders pulling off their win than I did in the Chargers at the end.
This is a safe space, we won’t judge you much.
Can we please let Elliot try the edge?