Your Late Afternoon Trifecta Of NFL Games

Mia/Sea-Arian Foster has looked fantastic in pre-season for the Dolphs but the Seahawks will be interlocking their arms for peace? justice? hope? I don’t think it’s been thought through-how the hell can anyone catch a fish that’s thrown their way as happens on a regular basis in that city? Prediction? Miami and new coach Adam Gase get throttled and leave the environs with their fins between their legs. There’s an enormous talent gap between these teams.

Det/Indy-Detroit’s inevitable 5-win season begins with a road loss to the Colts. Guys like Ameer Abdullah, Theo Riddick and Eric Ebron don’t inspire much confidence. Wr Tate should take some time adjusting to being doubled so I’m thinking that wr Jones on the other side is a good bet to put up solid numbers all year long. As per usual Chunky von Butterscotch will be heaving the ball for the Lions. Hmmm…after doing a bit of homework I’ve discovered that Indy’s lousy D will be missing up to 4 starters. They’ll also be starting rooks at lb and safety and cb Cromartie has been with the team all of 3 weeks. Last one with the ball wins.

Giants/’Boys– Today a nation (or two) learns the phrase Dak! Slurping. Yeah, the youngster out of Mississippi State got the bandwagon Cowboys fans hearts a-fluttering with his “can-do attitude” and his “stats” and his “enthusiasm” and such. Makes me sick how far the guy is going to fall when Dallas backers figure out he’s not white. In “Holy Hell” news, the Giants don’t have a single player of note on the injury list! And they only had to spend 200 million in free agency to make it happen! Wait, I don’t think those two things are connected…

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fleshwound_NPG

FYI Bob Lamey is the Fat Hump playbyplay guy

https://twitter.com/ryan_long_01/status/775075331107676161

Moonbatting Average

I miss Calvin Johnson, but Dez Bryant is making up for his absence

makeitsnowondem

The most important question to ask, when determining a catch, is: “Was the receiver Dez Bryant?”

Old School Zero

Megatron: “You don’t have me to kick around anymore!”

Spanky Datass
ThePirateSloth

Did anyone else see the Dolphins fan doing the Carlton? We need to gif that

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
King Hippo

Lauren Tannehill, enjoying dinner on her “cheat day.”

Old School Zero

I’d like to see a color rush game between Seahawks in all fluorescent green and Dolphins in all bright teal.

It would be a beautiful sight to have as the thing that burns out my eyeballs.

Old School Zero

Oh yes. That’s the stuff.

blaxabbath

“Thug is being generous when it comes to Richard Sherman.”

– AltRight

Moonbatting Average

So, uh, is there a QB in next year’s draft that rhymes with “suck”? Asking on behalf of the State of Indiana.

blaxabbath

I feel like the 12’s should have been louder about that ST coverage.

Perhaps the craft beers haven’t gotten in them yet.

fleshwound_NPG

omg let the Fat Humps get destroyed by the Lions

King Hippo

TD Lions, guy I’ve never fucking heard of!

Shogun Marcus

Caldwell showed emotion. I don’t know where I am anymore.

Brocky

How stupid does fabreeze think we are?

If house work consisted solely of spraying stuff, every guy would be doing it.

and by doing it I mean we’d all still be too lazy to do it, but it would be better selling simply due us buying bottles we’re never going to use

blaxabbath

I like that Rawls picked up 9 yards on a first and ten then gave the first down signal.

Then the ref announced a ten yard holding penalty.

Spur

Skip chill out with that controversial ass opinion about Gronk potentially being an all time TE

blaxabbath

Man…..

fuck Skip.

Shogun Marcus

10 year olds singing whitesnake is just all the wrong. Their parents aren’t even old enough to sing that ffs.

Brocky

the worst part is that whitesnake isn’t even that good.

that song was 90% video and the other half was the chorus.

http://static.tumblr.com/05692d698f87fefcc77923a6ab5a7ce6/guwxsok/guMmxpzkq/tumblr_static_tumblr_lw2jd9ppxg1r7iyfmo1_250.gif

Shogun Marcus

I know. My nostalgia boner is all confused between the memories above and what’s on the tv. That’s not right!

Moonbatting Average

How on Earth are C-Hox not dominating? Not that I’m complaining, mind you

ThePirateSloth

I’ve been wondering the same damn thing

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I was thinking the same thing. My only thought is Adam Gase might actually be a really good coach. He did get Cutler to not fuck up that much for a whole year

Dick E. Phuck

Russell lost his magic touch after hooking up. Remember what Mick said to Rocky: “Women weaken legs.”

John Difool

Yea, but at least David Coverdale can finally buy a new Hoveround and maybe even a set of premium dentures.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Because the Seahawks still have Darrell Bevell at OC?

blaxabbath

Strong Hate. Lofty Hate.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

So this new show with guy from NCIS (Bull). Is its purpose to say our entire judicial system is bullshit because there is someone manipulating it anyways?

Dick E. Phuck

You know your team is fucked if Larry Donnell is catching touchdowns against you. Larry Donnell can’t catch a goose feather pillow. Also Go Giants. WOOOOOOOOOO

the Alpha and the Amoeba

So instead of a Catch 22, it’s a Catch 7?

blaxabbath

Oh yeah! I can watch 12s v FISH.

Come on, Suh! Show DangeRUSS what a stomp can do.

Also, is this a new MIA color scheme?

Spur

Ah there’s that defense I remember

John Difool

ODELLUS URUNGUS

King Hippo

wow, the Humps are shiiiiittttt

fleshwound_NPG

How bad are the Fat Humps D? They let Fat Stafford scramble for a 1st down and he’s looking like Dan Marino compared to Luck.

…without Megatron.

Old School Zero

That INT slipped off of Cromartie like an over-lubed condom.

Unsurprised

Like he’s ever seen a condom

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Baldwin has terrible facial hair. Ok. I am a fan.

blaxabbath

Just got back from Costco. No comment.

But I see Dak is on. Afterall, why wouldn’t I want to see the Cowboys?

herodotus450

Only 1430 at Costco!
http://i.imgur.com/WyeuiFC.png

Sharkbait

They made a Deepwater Horizon movie?

Brocky

less expensive than doing anything about the spill.

easier solution!

John Difool

Is Treat Williams in the remake?

Senor Weaselo

Why? Just why?

blaxabbath

“Can you believe our top executives did all the right things to prevent an event like this from happening, and thus should NEVER be held personally liable, but yet we are still in the middle of this burning death trap?!”

Brocky

I take back what I said about chicago blackouts.

assuming detroit/indy is on fox, Chicago is playing giants/cowboys over det/ind.

I only know because of the idiotic colts fans (and one lions fan) who apparently don’t have sunday ticket are complaining on facebook about it.

lol

Spur

Cowboys need Touchdowns not field goals.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Is there anything worse than Troy Aikman and Joe Buck calling a Cowboys-Giants game?

I’d say no, except that it’s a tie with hearing them call a game that includes any other two teams.

King Hippo

Also, this “throw to Stills every play” strategy is puzzling.

Spur

Casillas just fell for the slowest juke in NFL history.

Spur

Should Tommy Maddox and Drew Bledsoe have “The Talk” with Tony Romo?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Watch out, or Zeke’ll get ya

comment image

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I am watching the clock like a countdown to my demise. I really don’t want to go to dinner at my mom’s for my birthday. I am gonna have to pretend I am not pissed I had to miss the end of the afternoon games with my foot out the door the second I get there so I can get home for the late games. The one upside is she is making ribs. Downside she has never made any meal anywhere near the start time she gives me.

Unsurprised

I can make you an honorary Indian for the day. Boom, you now have permission to be super late on account of being on Navajo Time.

King Hippo

Playing field position and kicking FGs would seem like a better strategy in this fixture for SEA

Dick E. Phuck

I see the Giants are playing the “chickens with their heads cut off” formation, a staple of this defense.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

THESE NEW YORK JETS I CALL THEM AN ORGY BECAUSE THEY ARE EXPLOSIVE ELATION FOR FIVE MINUTES AND THEN AN HOUR OF THE BEARDED GUY WALKING AROUND DOING NOTHING.

ThePirateSloth

God dammit Russell

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Why, that was a charming INT!

Spur

Look at that pass block by Zeke.

Old School Zero

I’m gonna keep it real with everybody: I had more faith in the Raiders pulling off their win than I did in the Chargers at the end.

ThePirateSloth

This is a safe space, we won’t judge you much.

Spur

Can we please let Elliot try the edge?