Mia/Sea-Arian Foster has looked fantastic in pre-season for the Dolphs but the Seahawks will be interlocking their arms for peace? justice? hope? I don’t think it’s been thought through-how the hell can anyone catch a fish that’s thrown their way as happens on a regular basis in that city? Prediction? Miami and new coach Adam Gase get throttled and leave the environs with their fins between their legs. There’s an enormous talent gap between these teams.
Det/Indy-Detroit’s inevitable 5-win season begins with a road loss to the Colts. Guys like Ameer Abdullah, Theo Riddick and Eric Ebron don’t inspire much confidence. Wr Tate should take some time adjusting to being doubled so I’m thinking that wr Jones on the other side is a good bet to put up solid numbers all year long. As per usual Chunky von Butterscotch will be heaving the ball for the Lions. Hmmm…after doing a bit of homework I’ve discovered that Indy’s lousy D will be missing up to 4 starters. They’ll also be starting rooks at lb and safety and cb Cromartie has been with the team all of 3 weeks. Last one with the ball wins.
Giants/’Boys– Today a nation (or two) learns the phrase Dak! Slurping. Yeah, the youngster out of Mississippi State got the bandwagon Cowboys fans hearts a-fluttering with his “can-do attitude” and his “stats” and his “enthusiasm” and such. Makes me sick how far the guy is going to fall when Dallas backers figure out he’s not white. In “Holy Hell” news, the Giants don’t have a single player of note on the injury list! And they only had to spend 200 million in free agency to make it happen! Wait, I don’t think those two things are connected…
Odell Beckham looks like Raggedy Andy’s negative.
+1
Oh God, this needs co-banner with make it snow’s from earlier
Even Dez was pointing for him to get to the sideline.
Actually, Ben McAdoo may be Mark Davis’ Tony Clifton persona.
Derrrrrrrrp. All the derp.
That’s some good ole fashioned NFC Least derpatude.
Fucking moron…
You know you are out of time outs. You have a clear path to out of bounds. So you cut inside?!!?
OH. Thank Christ.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH OH COWDERPS
McAdoo: “ZIMAS FOR EVERYBODY!”
Terrence Williams, Moron.
Gritty guy has brain boo boo!!!!
Welp.
has scotchy passed out yet?
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
/about time we didn’t blow one
That first down just cost Beasly his childhood memories…
That was NOT a first down where they snapped from.
OK, need some food in the belly to make it thru the rest of the night.
Pats/Cards…who do I hate more?
We’ll let the food decide.
Later dudes and lady(ies?)
Did a Cardinal rape your kid brother? (don’t answer that). It’s Patriots.
I miss Romobyl here
To be replaced by heart aDak
Can we play “How long will the game-winning FG be?” I’m gonna say 58.
is the Giants D….gonna HOLD UP??
Only Jerry Jones would spend a zillion dollars on an indoor stadium with sunlight issues.
Coming soon to Texas…
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-C84OR53aJVw/U4ZcoMUhk3I/AAAAAAAABeI/HkHy0PJgPM8/s1600/IMG_1251.JPG
Maybe this time?
http://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-ztSKD3hb8NI/UYyCLDvD7LI/AAAAAAABFnI/M9eW1Zz551k/s600/Screen%2520Shot%25202013-05-10%2520at%25203.13.55%2520PM.png
I think it’s supposed to be a deliberate homage to the old stadium.
Horatio?
^^^Reply Fail^^^
No idea. I try to pay as little attention to Double J as possible. It’s the only way to still root for my childhood team and not go insane with self-loathing.
Steal this game! Steal this game! Steal this game!
This game is taking a lot out of Ben McAdoo
http://media.giphy.com/media/7R0l2cQfzvi9O/giphy.gif
Can’t wait for the GIF of Prescott’s face there.
Here we go again…
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lm70znF33A1qzyufx.gif
Good jorb, stadium architects
Ol’ Double J: “SOMEBODY DESTROY THE SUN! DO IT NOW!”
If you ever get a chance to see the Death Star, I recommend driving past it. Its a monument to man’s hubris.
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jMpcnPZGp18/UXlgaD-NZNI/AAAAAAAAcgs/QTry6Fi1kXg/s1600/Carl_Sagan_BillionsAndBillions.jpg
“Somewhere a woman my age is getting her pussy eaten and I’ve gotta put up with this shit”
Veep is hilarious.
Giants should just go for it. They’ll probably get it and if they don’t they’ve knocked 40 seconds off the clock, leaving the Cowboys :32 to drive 20-25 yards and try a FG.
Quit it with the logic huh.
Clock stops on change of possession.
Wouldn’t they get to run it down 40 seconds before snapping the ball on 4th? Or have I had too much “iced tea” again?
O my stars, he’s gonna go for this?
this is a genuine conundrum here. DO you go for it??
FUN (non) FACT! McAdoo has been fired and banned from Mall Santa/Easter Bunny jobs by every major mall operations company, as well as The Dollar Store (but for other infractions).
UP THE MIDDLE
/punt
What the shittier option, Bud Light in a Steelers can or Iron City? I’ve gotta go with IC myself, as that is an aggressively bad beer while Bud Light is just water with a smidgen of flavor.
Either are bad is you’re in the same bar as Roethlisberger
IC is death in a can.
So is Big Ben.
Ben McAdoo looks like Magary with a Megan’s Law mustache.
It’s actually Tom Coughlin in a poorly made disguise – and he would have gotten away with it, if it wasn’t for his complete inability to manage the clock
Anyone gonna watch “Nerdy Guy 24 Hours”?
Oh I see we still have the Coughlin method of running down the clock to give the other team just enough time to kick a field goal to win thing still going here.
Is it “required reading” to watch Pats/Cards tonight?
Please say no. I’m already close enough to death by my own hand.
Go ahead and skip it.
I think it’s only required when we have a morning London game but it’s Week One AND Patriots Schadenfreude…
See, you SAY that….but….
I’ve got the DJ2K–CJ2YPC handcuff going.
Just think of all the schadenfreude potential, get another beer and power on.
You’re a bad influence….in case you’re not aware.
Don’t blame me, I took tomorrow off!
Quitters never win.
Now YOU’RE gonna give me grief?
And here I thought I liked you.
smgdh
Alright, my uber will be here soon. Catch you dudes on the flip side and, remember, fuck the Patriots.
Holy shit McAdoo is creepy looking. I hadn’t seen him until I switched games and then AAAAAUGGGGHHH
He’s got the molestache look going on.
He looks like Principle Ed Rooney from Ferris Buehler’s Day Off
Walkoff (near) safety?
Fingers, toes and multiple penises crossed.
/perhaps I’ve said too much
The Dolphins fucking suck.
“Hey, Dolphins, you suck!”
If the Seahawks and Russel lose, I wonder if PK will change his view of moving the extra point back.
All I know is my gut says MAYBE.
I’ll never know because I’ll never read him.
It’s never wrong.
WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU RUN THAT OUT?
It’s what I’d do……if I had money on the other team
Let’s see if the Giants’ 4-minute offense improved from last year.
You mean better than sack, sack, incomplete, punt?
Dear Dan Fouts,
Fuck you.
Signed,
Football Fans everywhere
He was an ass when he played and he’s still an ass.
Missed XP = -3
Missed PAT?
This is why you always run a crossing route from the two.
When New England gets Tom Brady back at 1-3, they’ll be tied for the lead in the AFC East.
I wish this wasn’t true.
Bug Doldrums
http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/407/384/fb7.jpg