I guess every team deserves a shot at the national spotlight at some point in the year, if only to remind the average fan as to why he/she has no interest in watching that team. But we are not average fans, are we? We will watch anything. Besides, it’s early in the season-we’re a long way from “The Late-November Turgid Battle of Teams That Won’t Make The Playoffs Blues”. (I believe it was sung by Sonny Terry and Brownie McGhee) Both these teams are win-less and the loser will be making an appearance on next week’s “Power Rankings of the 0-2 Teams” post.* What are we waiting for? TO THE GAME!
Jets/Bills-Many mentions will be made of the Watkins/Revis showdown but on the other side of the field wr Woods is up against a cb (Buster Skrine) that allowed opposing qb’s to post a 100 QBR against him in 2015. It seems to be just a matter of a few games before cb Marcus Williams, who had a pick last week and six last year, becomes more prominent in the Jets secondary. The Bills have McCoy at rb and still managed only 176 total yards of offense against a Ravens D that just doesn’t look very imposing. OC Roman takes all the blame and should open things up this week. The thing is, the Jets interior D-Line of Wilkerson, Williams and Richardson are run-stopping, pocket-collapsing goliaths. Look for LeSean to run outside/catch short balls in space. Equally uninspiring was the yard work of wr’s Decker and Marshall last week. They caught 54 3-foot increments of space combined. It does seem as though the qb that raises his game the most under what will be intense defensive pressure will be the one that comes out with the V.
Ladies and gentlemen, START YOUR TYPING!
*Stay tuned
It’s kind of nice to know that your fantasy week is already completely wrecked before the Thursday night game ends.
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I never tire of that Tim Horton’s ad after every extra point try.
Is it possible that our curse on Thursday night could be over?
Have you seen how many near miss asteroids there have been lately?
So I’ve been watching a Korean drama called “Cinderella and the Four Knights” until now. Looks like an interesting game.
What’s the drama of a bukake film?
Will there be a surprise extra dude at the end?
just imagine how extra shitty the next 4 or 5 will be to balance things out!
we told so many jokes, now there really ARE two Marshalls out there FFS!!!
How many old people in Buffalo when they hear color rush just think it’s the game plan involving LeSean McCoy?
Haha! Wow
Always nice to hear Red Sox fans chanting “Yankees Suck” while losing 5-2 with one out in the 9th.
Yes, I know the Yankees are fully capable of blowing this. THAT ISN’T THE POINT!!!!
why are you watching el beisbol when there is football-ish on??
I think it’s also the traditional congratulation at weddings in Gritsawx Nation. Now let’s play “How long is too late to bring in Betances?”
The answer is apparently one on, one out!
Astro turf needs to be sprayed, prior to every game, with something that discolored uniforms. I don’t even care what color.
With Monsanto and Bayer joining forces, I see no reason why this chemical should be sprayed on when it can be inserted right into the field itself.
NFL teams are billion dollar organizations. Yet they spat on Twitter like a couple of lowly Presidential candidates.
http://www.foxsports.com/nfl/story/bills-jab-jets-for-not-wearing-their-color-rush-jerseys-then-new-york-shuts-them-down-091516
No, no, those are like the top two presidential candidates.
Part of the Color Rush should be that every play needs to be a rushing call.
Ryan Fitzpatrick’s first became a starting QB with the Cincinnati Bengals when Carson Palmer got hurt in 2007. He has publicly thanked the Bengals’ coaches for the development and for making him the player he is.
Does that explain what’s up with Ryan Fitzpatrick?
http://www2.pictures.gi.zimbio.com/Washington+[*Redacted] s+v+Cincinnati+Bengals+9Fjx9sVOQWLl.jpg
Maybe Big Bang Theory will end like we all want it to, in a singularity of time, space, and energy that annihilates everyone involved with the show.
Drunk girl that grabbed my arm asks what do I do.
I say engineer.
“Oh trains!”
I say no and her friends give that look like “sorry man she has had a lot”.
“I automate cranes and mills. It’s not interesting. Just watching the game”
“Well you are really articulate”.
I swear to god it’s like this tiny bar slammed to a stop.
Her one friend tried to apologize and she got loud “I’M JUST SAYING HE USES BIG WORDS”
Welcome to my life…
I hope you hate fuck the shit out of her (literally)
You should bang her.
tell me you said “DON’T FORGET CLEAN!!!”
She’s totally into you. Go for it.
^What they all said.
“HOLY SHIT DO YOU KNOW THOMAS? I FUCKED HIS FRIEND GORDON ONCE!”
Wow, a drunk chick is hitting on you. I’m so sorry.
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Oh Sinbad….
http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/teodmpoteaopofmp_2091.jpg
I had no idea bipolar disorder extended to your hands.
Ryan Fitzpatrick is human lithium.
I guess that makes Joe Flacco human Fentanyl.
How have I not drank a damn thing from the combination of yesterday and tonight? What is wrong with me?
THIS GAME I CALL IT A BAD TAMPON BECAUSE THE RED IS JUST DOMINATING THE WHITE SOFT THINGS
Haven’t seen a Marshall drop that devastating since Southern Airways Flight 932.
Oh God, I’m sorry, that’s awful.
apologizing is no way to make the BANNER, son (smgdh)
Awful funny
Oh my, sir.
Oh my.
If the Jets blow this, Rex and Bowles are gonna have a discussion at the speakeasy.
Wow.
Whazzat?
Chernobyl Reactor #4
There are three separate crystal structures that were effectively accidentally created by the fuel rods melting. Very unique in metals…OH MY GOD I AM A DORK!
Great shot! Did you take this?
You know, I’m glad Houston scored a TD. If they kicked a field goal, a Cincinnati football team would have had a 16-15 lead. That would have forced some memories repressed by tears and beers to resurface.
Honestly, celebrating first downs is shitty. It’s like giving yourself a pat on back for waking up with a semi-chub.
I’d say act like you’ve been there before but I’m not sure if that’s the case with either of these teams.
oh dear mother of fuck, how are any of you Jets fans still alive?
All dead inside?
Jeez Marshall, pull it in before you fumble the ball. Else it’s just an incomplete.
This fucking team…
ABC should run a rival broadcast called Thursday Knight Futball.
Mark Knight, a former SEC lineman, is ordered to serve his DUI community Service (it’s okay, he was sleeping in his car outside the bar but a small town sheriff threw the book at him on a technicality — so he’s still likable). Given his experience in football, they set him to coach a 6 year old team on the ‘ethnic’ part of town that plays football. The twist? It’s FUTBOL (soccer).
Each week is something funny and he learns as much from the kids as he teaches them about they are in bad homes.
Thursday Knight Foot-Ball — someone kicks Phil Knight in the balls for an hour
Brian McCann’s up, so it’s time for him to look at 5 pitches and then sit down when 3 are called strikes.
PROVE ME WRONG MCCANN!!!
The fuck gibberish are you babbling about?
Yankees-Red Sox, because Thursday in mid-September is for baseball instead of watching the Jets “play” “football” against the Bills, who look like a bunch of used tampons that have suddenly achieved sentience.
Ooh, 6 pitches and he swung at 2 of them.
Still struck out.
Swinging on six pitches, that’s slightly better!
You know what? Fuck the Jets.
http://m.quickmeme.com/img/8a/8a202184c338637c55139ba665ce60e1c5ced87cf032df9e1131b7b21b7e31d6.jpg
wait, there’s no YARDAGE for the taunt?
Proposed NFL Rule: If you celebrate getting a first down and if its not at least a 4th and 30, you must run 5 laps around the field.
Also if it’s a good touchdown dance according to a panel of judges (one of whom is Russian), no penalty. If it isn’t, DOUBLE penalty!
At least the Rams will always be well-rested
…………
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Oh FFS
a hold AND a taunt!
“Might wanna keep that tagline to yourself, Officer Pantoleo.”
ALL TEH JETS HERP
Has Ed Hochuli been pumping down?
HAIL BLEERGH
The God that actually LISTENS to ur prayers
White boy taunting!
That Seven Nation Army shit is just sad.
Hodor
Bills blowing up Jets like they’re Russian missiles.
Just put it on ESPN folks
Eddie has been laying off the juice his arms are not as big as they were
“Cincinnati has the chance for a huge upset.”
That’s usual where the ground drops off beneath their feet.
Fuck everything
FUMBLING IS A FOOTBALL MOVE!
What the hell did Rex tell them at halftime?
they had great feet
“Bruce Smith will rip all of your cocks off if you don’t play better this second half. You think I am fuckin’ around? Come in Bruce!”
[Bruce Smith rips off Dan Carpenter’s dick]
“Ain’t nobody gonna know either with these fuckin’ uniforms, kicky boy! Let’s do this shit!”
This team actively hates its fans.
Aaaaand scene.
JETSIN’
BILLS D TD WOO