Third Place Everton and Lamar! (Plus Other Minor Things Previewed)

Pictured is Ronald Koeman, in a rare smiling pose. Despite being unbeaten on the young season (with three wins on the bounce, after humiliating David Moyes on Monday Night Footy with some help from Big Rom), Big Ron is something of a perfectionist, always urging his players to strive for the very best they are capable of delivering. It’s been a refreshing change from the delusional optimistic bullshit of Roberto Martinez, and if the early returns are any indication, exactly what the Blues needed.

Everton get Middlesborough at home this week, spotlight dance on big NBC (12:30 EST), though my local affiliate is showing Georgia Tech/Vanderbilt because North Cakalaky is still a cultural wasteland in many ways. Anyway, I will fire up the laptop in hopes for points 11-13 out of 15. Come on, you Blues.

There are no early games this week, in honor of my daughter’s 8:30 cross country meet. How fucking nice (and what foresight that she would qualify!!) of the FA to think of me like that ,, smgdh. Arsenal and Hull make NBCSN out of the 10:00 window pack, with the battle of the Wests (Brom and Ham) meriting some attention on Extra Time. Seems like Spurs should somehow be involved, no?

Speaking of Spurs, they get Sunday Funday feature treatment as the only NBCSN fixture (11:30), in what should be a home throttling of Sunderland. CNBC “boasts” the doubleheader of Watford hosting Manure (7:00) and Palace hosting Stoke (9:15). Extra Time offers Swans at Saints as alternate viewing at 9:15, but…meh.

That seems like some teams got left out, because the Redshite won 2-1 at Stamford Bridge Friday night. Christ, the knob slobbering won’t end, even if Everton keep winning to stay above them in the table. Which they must and will.

Hey want to talk about some jayvee stuff? Thought you’d NEVAR ask!!

Florida State at Louisville (Noon, ABC)

Talent vs. coaching, watch the argument play out before your eyes. Except that the “coaching” side of the argument also has a legitimate Heisman candidate in Lamar! Now away from the bright lights of Washington, DC that once hounded the young, flannel-clad GOP Presidential hopeful (and also now black), Lamar! is putting up video game numbers with his arm and legs for the Fightin’ Petrinos. Jimbo Fisher couldn’t coach his way out of a wet paper bag, but some years they so good it no matter. Is this one such year? Today will be quite telling in that regard.

Oregon at Nebraska (3:30, ABC)

This is an interesting inter-sectional matchup between two teams we really know nothing about. They could be sleeper-ish good, they could be shit, they could be 6-7 win pudding again. It’s September, the fuck do you want from me??

Alabama at Ole Miss (3:30, CBS)

Ah yes, the Katy Perry boob sweater memorial classic! The juju is strong with this one, and Nick Saban will want revenge for the last two defeats more than he thirsts for the blood of a newborn puppy. Johnny Reb done got him a loss on his’n resume, so he can’t afford no more if’n he fixin’ to contend all national-like.

Mississippi State at LSU (7:00, ESPN2)

The Cowbells got their shit back together last week, and now take said shit on the road. To face the Bayou Bengals, who look to be, well, shit. But that’s why they play the games, yeah? This fixture has made for entertaining 4th quarters in recent vintage, FWIW.

Texas A&M at Auburn (7:00, ESPN)

Another SEC West tilt, with the better team being the road side. That can make for an even contest and multiple overtimes. Not predicting, but if it happens…betcha it happens here! Both of these defensive units are solid.

Michigan State at Notre Dame (7:30, NBC)

Thankfully, nobody will need to watch this shitburger tonight. Huzzah, schedulemakers!

Ohio State at Oklahoma (7:30, Fox)

They don’t see any horns on your head, so you wouldn’t mind if…

This game has the advantage of Gus Johnson, so I will watch quite a bit so long as Boomer Sooner maintains a working margin throughout.

UCLA at BYU (10:15, ESPN2)

Late night DVR/tweaker/insomniac pick is IN! The Bruins impressed me on their trip to College Station (well, apart from their butterfingered WR/TE corps), and they will get the chance for a solid road win in Provo against a Mad as Heck!! Team Big Love. I hear Brice’s mom let him have TWO Sprites the day after the loss to “the U” last Saturday night, the family was so shaken up about it.