The internets are telling me that NFL viewership is down. How much? Enough to worry some wonks, that’s how much. My solution to this problem of team owners only making hundreds of millions instead of billions involves razor blades and butterflies. Now hear me out!-it goes like this. Uh…umm… Okay I’ll be honest, this is a sort of reverse-engineering thingy whereby I come up with an answer and then try to figure out a way that makes sense of that answer. The reverse-engineering analogy is weak but none of you outside JustStopDude could give a damn. TO THE GAME!
Den/SD-The Broncs are down their HC so it’s “Next Coach Up!” The fella that isn’t being held back by The Migraine Protocol is one Joe DeCamillis. He’s the Special Teams Coordinator that smirks at Wade Phillips every time they pass in the hallway and says, “I wonder why they didn’t make YOU the head guy tonight!” Speaking of coaching changes, it’s a bad sign when you come across more than one article that itemises who the interim coach of the Chargers will be come Monday. I’m guessing it won’t be the personification of failure that is the Chargers DC. Them Bolts give up 28 points and nearly 300 yds. passing on a weekly basis. That’s added up to 17 TDs so far. I guess it’s up to de Bosa to stop the 10 game-strong division losing streak that the other teams out west AFC-wise currently enjoy. In limited play last week he put together 2 sacks and 5 tackles. As far as quick starts by de’s are concerned, he’s got nothing on the Bronc’s Von Miller. The best defensive end in football (suck it, JJ Watts) has 6.5 sacks and will no doubt add to his total ce soir. It looks like Trevor Siemian backers are strutting around after qb Lynch’s play last week. That QBR of 11.7 last week against the Falcons speaks volumes about where he is in his development.
They say that the sincerest form of flattery is typing-SO TYPE!
Oh STFU…you were picked to win your division by just about everyone other than me. Don’t give me this “We’ve been underdogs all year” bullshit you squirrel fucking dicknut.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/0afb1751dc6d196ccd59dd904edd740e/tumblr_oewugkMDsA1tl41jto1_1280.jpg
Damn you.
Every time I’m trying to be bitter and hating the world over here, you just have to be Mr. Funnyman. I want to be pissed off right now….stop that.
BTW; this calf has been using the best shampoo EVER.
http://67.media.tumblr.com/932bce9b3baa611d0871ff88c1c6ac25/tumblr_od0cfz8uuW1v28gj1o1_1280.jpg
GODDAMMIT YOU FUCKER. WHAT DID I JUST SAY???
But you’re right. That little bovine fuck gotz some damn impressive body and sheen. Wow.
(g’night)
http://67.media.tumblr.com/7b3c0926b127cb0e1523091bd77fdeb9/tumblr_mov6mc6Czm1rruca4o1_400.jpg
😉
Really gone now. And I do appreciate the laugh. They’ve been and far between this week. (Don’t expect many this weekend either)
So…
Blackout drunk?
Cartoons?
or Masturbation?
I can’t decide….I think I’ll go for the trifecta.
Night dudes. 😉
http://68.media.tumblr.com/cb46798a2573bb99e2188e8cd8c8239e/tumblr_nwuhge2hA81qc5dpuo1_500.png
I’ve never been able to masturbate to cartoons, but more power to you!
He watches Japanese “cartoons.”
Hmm. No judgment here.
http://jpninfo.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/in-Japan-3.jpg
Japanese cartoons are weird, man.
I didn’t mean to imply the cartoons and tugging would be simultaneous. But the drinking will likely overlap both.
May as well be efficient and combine things.
h
ttp://68.media.tumblr.com/0149c9aa05c2e8d0e3601586e8702257/tumblr_oexi18usal1rlbdfto1_1280.jpg
If you need an efficiency consultant, I know a guy.
TWO FER ONE:
http://67.media.tumblr.com/4b2ad9ce0e77276cef1e56da3501dfe6/tumblr_oeojh8OA5E1qf9csoo1_1280.jpg
PSA: Toto had more than one hit
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=htgr3pvBr-I&app=desktop
http://66.media.tumblr.com/b644539ac696c2b2d4cffd6eeede81a7/tumblr_oex8z7DQEK1rqbl96o1_1280.jpg
I had to transcribe the ending riff once so it’s permanently stuck in my head.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmOLtTGvsbM
http://67.media.tumblr.com/9c5591584d7186e8d10009097d14c347/tumblr_o6af8vQqci1r2nj16o1_r2_400.gif
Pete Rose has gone past drunk-drunk to snorted-two-grams-of-blow-downed-three-Percocet-and-drank-two-quarters-of-rum-drunk.
http://67.media.tumblr.com/a76eaee613e09f004d5d3cf85bf54367/tumblr_oexsniUFWY1qa9yvvo2_1280.jpg
Damn it!
No worries. I’d totally be willing to climb up that twice.
😉
VERY specific fetish AND he (or she) is pretty good at photoshopping.
So from mellow Pete Rose to… regular Pete Rose?
But at least his hair looks fabulous.
so…. are we allowed to hope the cubs could win the league?
http://68.media.tumblr.com/856c498c30fe778e54274ec4e5e593e0/tumblr_oexsniUFWY1qa9yvvo4_1280.jpg
Yes, allowed. But you risk being shunned.
😉
Seriously, I really do think I’ll go Cubbies over Dodgers. It’s close, but definitely the lesser of two evils I think.
I still don’t know what Donnie Baseball did to piss off the baseball gods that all the teams he’s on win the year AFTER he’s gone.
Shoulda cut them sideburns.
http://67.media.tumblr.com/a76eaee613e09f004d5d3cf85bf54367/tumblr_oexsniUFWY1qa9yvvo2_1280.jpg
That curve ball was sick.
It was. But he could have thrown anything to that kid that wasn’t center cut and he’d have missed it. Kid was trying to be a walk off hero instead of just going the other way and getting the tying run in. Somebody (looking at you Dusty Baker you fuckwit) should have told him that.
YOU DON’T DO THAT SHIT IN THE POSTSEASON BCUZ NOW YOU GET TO GO HOME.
Jeebus Christmas.
I agree. Trying to hit a 5-run homer wasn’t the best strategy.
Too many managers forget that postseason baseball is totally different than the daily 162 season. Hippo and I were talking about this very thing the other day.
Fucking Dodgers, man.
Aaaaand the Dodgers win the pennant.
Dude, stop swinging for the fences. You don’t have to park one, you just need to poke one the other way right.
Goddammit these fuckers are pissing me off.
*to right
What’s going thru his head?
Oh fuck.
This isn’t the appropriate time for JFK jokes.
I’m ashamed that this made me laugh.
Well no, I’m not. But I am aware I should be.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/c241a3d1d290af292c8fd6db131d9091/tumblr_o1i8g64Gnz1s9bqq4o1_1280.jpg
Dusty Baker sad face makes me smile.
so if both national teams have to win in the 9th.
so much narrative!!!
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view7/4809684/illegal-o.gif
Reminder: this would be a different game if the third base coach had t sent Werth to an easy out at home
*hadn’t
It would also be different if they hadn’t called for a goddamned hit n run, and made werth protect the plate when this fucker can’t throw a goddamned strike. Dusty Baker needs to go sit in the goddamned corner with Buck and Harold. Jeebus.
Well it turned out OK, but the hit n run was still a stupid as fuck call in this situation.
There possibly wouldn’t be a bottom of the 9th.
Green light my ass. Dude can’t find the fucking strike zone.
Nobody in their right mind would green light him here.
See Harold? And you guys are supposed to know baseball n junk. Go sit in the corner with Buck Showalter RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!!!
Oh, the closer is struggling after 40 pitches? ORLY?
Wait… they’re not bringing in Kershaw?
Worse yet, I gotta root for Harper to do a good.
Why the fuck are you set up so far back from the plate Trea? FFS!!!!!!
Jeebus wept.
Revisal of yesterday’s “Will someone please get me a zamboni” proposition: Can I get a T-shirt cannon turret on the aforementioned zamboni? Is that an option?
http://66.media.tumblr.com/1a47af355de544f56114284096b648a5/tumblr_o4lvmieqA41qjro97o2_500.gif
That was my favorite scene of the movie.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJG6SLpaqfM&app=desktop
I’m curious how Dusty Baker will try and change Dodgers pitchers.
Rob I might be leaving later tomorrow than I thought. If I’m able to take care of my own sexy friday mess, I let you know.
(PHRASING)
Cool.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_loepkua4QY1qludboo1_500.gif
Looks like they’ll have Kershaw going for the Bumgarner.
yup
Calling it now….Turner gonna reach to leadoff the 9th…steal 2nd and 3rd, then score to tie it when the Dodgers get all Dodgery and fuck up somehow.
Assuming the Nats don’t go and get all Natty in the top half and allow an insurance run.
What if the Nats then Nat in the 10th?
Meh, shit happens. I just wanna see Turner shine.
(yes, I know him personally to a mild degree…NCSU baseball season tix holder thus get to interact with those dudes some…Turner is a great guy)
Jeebus fuck. I could bunt better than that when I was in little league for fuck sake.
Pretty sure I bunted like that in T ball
LMAO
That was funny.
Nobody can bunt. In fairness, neither could I but that was probably partially due to my eye injury.
………..http://l.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/vzgWbegxX0E1RV82Dl5v9g–/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjtzbT0xO3c9NTAw/http://l.yimg.com/os/publish-images/sports/2015-06-02/c94bb8d0-08f9-11e5-927c-95956979e55c_hayesbig2.gif
Turned on it just a little too soon.
Heh
Wow Harold, really? The intentional pass is going to set up force plays at more bases? Thank god you pointed that out for people.
/might be bitter about some things
//sorry Harold…you dimwit
So between the dodgers and Washington, who’s more hateable, and why?
I like the Nats, in spite of Baker and Harper.
Also, I’d love to see Trea Turner get a ring…but that’s an NCSU homer thing.
O’s and Nats have a friendly rivalry, plus I get to see Nats regularly on MASN.
Plus the Dodgers can suck my ass.
I’d take the Nats too although Kershaw deserves to have a dominant postseason en route to a ring one of these days. Donnie’s not managing the Dodgers anymore (and Dave Roberts hup-tooey is) so there were all my good graces. I’m less caring about the NL at this point, as long as the Indians knock out the Jays.
I second that emotion.
As a Canadian, I hate the Nats because they should still be the Expos.
http://content.sportslogos.net/logos/54/66/full/8183_montreal_expos-jersey-1989.gif
How in thee hell did Harold Reynolds get assigned to do color for this game?
And by color, I don’t mean color, I mean color.
He said the Nats needed to score some runs because the Dodgers had the advantage. Up 4-1.
I actually like him, but voicing in game analysis ain’t his strong suit. He’s much better in the studio where he has time to think about shit before opening his mouth.
How much shittier do these Thursday night games have to get before they do away with them?
3-2.
YA BETTA CALLL SOMMMMEEEEBBBBOOODDDDYYYYYYYYYYYYY
http://gifrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/Philip-Rivers-Scream-Chargers-Bengals-Playoffs.gif
Mrs. Rivers just conceived twins.
IT DIDN’T HAPPEN
We…won?
YA BETTA IMPREGNATE SOMEBODAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY
CHAOS
REIGNS
Where the fuck was that dimwit throwing it?
Gonna be a Hail Elway anyways, who fucking cares if you get a 1st down.
oh, he can’t throw it that far. JESUS.
IT’S NOT LIKE ANY OF US HAVE WORK TOMORROW OR ANYTHING, DICKHOLES
jokes on you, i’m a grad student
You should be writing your dissertation
I hope this game goes on forever so I never have to confront the fact that I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing, nor overcome my deeply rooted imposter’s syndrome and my overwhelming fear of failure.
Here, have another free timeout, Denver!
OH FOAR TEH LOVE OF JEFF
I haven’t seen a man squeeze a long brown object between his thighs so hard since my last fap session
For a moment, I thought that dumbass was gonna stay inbounds.
LET IT END
christ, CJ. Nobody within 12 yards of you
relatively inexperienced qb.
at least that sounds good in my head
That’s the look of a dude who’s getting canned tomorrow if I ever saw one.
Good Christ this game.
You think Mike McCoy gets fired even if they win?
Totally within the realm of possibility.
IT’S POSSIBLE
I want to bring up a bit defending marty schottenheimer, but lol