Your “With Any Luck, We’ll Get Out Of Here Alive” Sunday Night NFL Open Thread

Did your team acquit itself well? How about that play in that Lions game? How embarrassing. I feel sorry for the fans of *fill in the blank*. Maybe next week. Likely not. But that catch? Wow! The best I’ve seen in quite some time. And the Bears? Tell me about it. But enough of this, what about…TO THE GAME!

Indy/Hou-These are two teams with something to prove. As far as the Texans O is concerned they must prove 2 + 2=4. Tough one. Don’t start laughing Colts D-you’ve got String Theory, and no, it can’t involve kittens! Wr Hilton loves the Texans-thanks to a 223 yard game back in ’14 he’s racked up 750+ and 6 TD’s in 8 games against these guys. The other talented wideout in this game-Hopkins-has struggled with new qb Osweiler. Communication breakdowns and forced throws to Houston’s best wr have resulted in 4 of Brock’s 7 intercepts. But opposing qb’s tend to get well against the “Bend And Then Break” D of Indianapolis. [looks into crystal ball] I see tons of dropped passes, mental errors, missed tackles, overthrown throws and maybe something a little bit extra special. Perhaps we’ll be treated to a “running out of the back of the end zone” or a “coach freezes out his own kicker” or maybe even a “team-mates fight on the sideline” thingy. One can dream…

Go on…TYPE!

 

 

 

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Brocky

*sigh*

yet another redhead appreciation night?

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theeWeeBabySeamus

LMAO…but couldn’t they at least have borrowed a catcher’s mitt?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

It started from Elvira, it wasn’t me.

King Hippo

this is S-M-R-T of Texans. Running off jumbo package every fucking down. Might as well run the veer with Brock Lobster back there.

Sill Bimmons
theeWeeBabySeamus

Here Hippo….you poke the bear, you get what you deserve.
/shit, only depresses self further
//loads weapons heads to Hippos residence
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GYgo78JfMLU

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

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...

I mean, it’s optimistic to expect to beat Kershaw but FUCK ME.

Romonobyl
Romonobyl
Shogun Marcus

Kyle Kinane is a delight. Certainly beats the hell out of Al and Satan’s crusty sock.

JerBear50

DVR’d his new one but haven’t seen it yet.

Shogun Marcus

Not bad. Maybe not as killer as I Liked His Old Stuff or Whiskey Icarus, but damn good.

JerBear50

He and Ari did a really cool breakdown of his first album on Ari’s podcast. It’s fucking long, but it’s worth the listen if you’re into standup.
http://shaffir1.libsyn.com/233-death-of-the-party-kylekinane

Sill Bimmons

Soup Nazi episode putting me in the mood for Mulligatawny.

http://karistaskitchen.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/mulligatawny-soup2.jpg

Romonobyl

That’s not Skyline Chili!

Sill Bimmons

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Romonobyl

Good idea, keeps to vomit off your shirt.

JerBear50

She was great on Parks and Rec.

JerBear50

Guh. Sorry.

JerBear50

Is this better Seamus?
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theeWeeBabySeamus

Infinitely.
I can like you again.
😉

JerBear50

Got to go see these guys last week and it was a damn good show. Pretty sure they’re from your neck of the woods.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNZHKuZ2OuU&w=560&h=315%5D

JerBear50

You’d think I’d know how to use this site by now.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNZHKuZ2OuU

Romonobyl

If This is Us, then Who are They?

Sill Bimmons

We.

Mr. Ayo

Those bastards!

...

So how’s the terrible football folks? I’m certainly not cutting myself right now watching some other sport.

Doktor Zymm

While I’m very glad I’m visiting home this weekend, football really does run late into the night. I’m not sure the rest of this game justifies watching when I have to catch a 6 am ET flight tomorrow morning, from which I’m going directly to work.

Senor Weaselo

That itinerary sucks.

Doktor Zymm

I’m going to be doing this a fair amount over the next couple weeks. It’s the compromise between weekend trips and trying not to miss football by being in the air during games

King Hippo

there was no early London game, so not mandatory!

Doktor Zymm

Are you sure that isn’t just a furry?

JerBear50

I’d like to think she is.

Senor Weaselo

THIS GIRL I CALL HER LEONARDO DICAPRIO BECAUSE SHE’S GONNA GET FUCKED BY A BEAR.

ALXMAC

(U gots my vote)

King Hippo

Bestest redhead (and good halftime song):

theeWeeBabySeamus

I am gonna fucking murder you…
I mean like kill you dead…
The next time I see you. So just lay down and get it over with.

Senor Weaselo

Fuck you Joe Buck, but you did mention this commercial, so… still fuck you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLECMCargd8

herodotus450
Romonobyl

Anybody mind if I change the channel?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Go ahead, I’ve got the sound down and listening to music already anyway.
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ALXMAC

100% sure she is rockin’ the tartan the right way
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view7/3389455/commando-o.gif

theeWeeBabySeamus

You need a good murderizing for that…just saying.

JerBear50

Yeah, she was hot though.

Mr. Ayo

I really never expected this place to offer up the midget porn.

King Hippo

of all the SNF games so far, this may be the SNF-iest

also, I think Brock Lobster may be shittier than Case Keenum

ALXMAC

1st couple of series of this game, I was reminded that at least the “?” had an “interesting” QB controversy this time last year.

Sill Bimmons

Is Andrew Luck already dead?

That was a horrific throw.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

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Senor Weaselo

I don’t know why these are so funny, but they are.

LemonJello

“Can we trade for him?”

-Cleveland Browns

BrettFavresColonoscopy

What I think about every time a béisbol announcer says a hitter is jammed:

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Shogun Marcus

Raspberry?

Sill Bimmons

Raspberry…

Senor Weaselo

Chris Rose approves of jamming him up.

Doktor Zymm

This pick up team playing the Clots should be ashamed by the fact they’re making the Indy D look competent

theeWeeBabySeamus

Redheads…is it? I give you Alicia Witt.
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Sill Bimmons

A pair of tiny $30 SkullCandy in-ear buds probably cancels out about 95% of the ambient noise canceled out by those giant $300 Bose cans.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Link?

Sill Bimmons

“…probably…”

This is my own personal experience having used both.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

No I meant link so I buy the right ones. I need new headphones.

Sill Bimmons

SkullCandy phones are available pretty much everywhere.

I bought mine about six months ago in the Wilmington train station when I realized I had forgotten my Bose.

I haven’t used the Bose since.

King Hippo

nah, I fucking adored my Bose. Kids ruined them, naturally. Now that I am mostly deaf in one ear, not really much point.

herodotus450

They’re not perfect, but they are actually pretty amazing; hard to go back to normal headphones in comparison. The scam is that Bose comes out with a new version/model every year or so which are pretty much the same as the old ones, but they completely shutdown sales of old models (can’t get them on amazon, maybe ebay if you’re lucky and dont get counterfeit ones).

Doktor Zymm

The advantage of giant headphones, it’s really obvious you are wearing headphones and have no interest in listening to people trying to talk to you

JerBear50

Open carry has a similar effect.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Q: Does this make my ass look big?
A: Yes it does baby, yes it does. Haul that thing over here, please.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Baezes ranked:

Javier
Joan
Albert
Danys

JerBear50

I dreamed I saw Joe Hill last night, turn a double play…

herodotus450

Did someone say red heads with (probably) red carpet?
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ALXMAC

I don’t know who this is, but I’m 98% sure that she’s legit. I mean, look at all of those angel kisses!!

ALXMAC

The 2% is b/c it could all be a photoshop/troll job. I mean, look at the timepiece around her neck.

(related – this is how my brain works and also why I drink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=am9BqZ6eA5c

Senor Weaselo

So if you haven’t seen OBJ’s cleats from this afternoon, here they are.
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Is he gonna get fined? Yes. Are those baller as fuck? Also yes. Do I want a sneaker version? I would not say no but I’d rather have a Sonic the Hedgehog or Spyro the Dragon set. Am I a massive nerd? Still yes.

Gratliff

Not gonna lie. I’ve been tempted to buy the nostalgic video game vans.

Doktor Zymm

I always played Kirby in super smash bros. I would totally rock those.

Senor Weaselo

I’ve always been a Fox player myself. Then Marth and Pit. Haven’t played much of the current one(s) to fuck around and see what works but I’d want to play Little Mac.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I know you just said some words, but I’ve no idea what they mean.

Donkey Kong Country!!!!
(Blades of Steel and Tetris are also acceptable answers)

King Hippo

my best friend from college named her daughter Kirby

theeWeeBabySeamus

Alright goddammit, WordPress. I’ve only just popped my 2nd beer and I’m already goddamned tired of this math bullshit. Later, when I can’t multiply 8 x 1 correctly, because I’ve had that many beers in an hour, I will come to your house and kick your dog.
/WordPress probably doesn’t have an actual house, huh?
//or a dog either
///fuck

Beastmode Ate My Baby

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Brocky

God bless you reddit

jjfozz

Chicago Regional Sales Manager for Charmin!

Doktor Zymm

Maybe I can be a consultant when they get around to ‘Chicago Data Scientist’

Beastmode Ate My Baby

“Zat analyziz ist completely incorrect! I am firing you…into ze sun!”

Sill Bimmons

SO MANY WHITE PEOPLE in that Google Pixel ad.

Sill Bimmons

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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Here’s the NFL’s charity campaigns in a nutshell.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KbZIFZm204E

Senor Weaselo

But only in the accepted timeframe, or else it’s a fine.

JerBear50

I would like to see a new tv show where Stanhope goes to Drew Pinsky’s office and just berates him for 22 minutes every week.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Yes but with Greg Giraldo

JerBear50

Is this a new Walking Dead spinoff?

Romonobyl

Never really got into the pink-wearing ribbon-tying hashtagging “I’m tweeting to recognize (insert horrid disease/condition here), aren’t I thoughtful?” You want to make a difference? Drop the smart phone and get out your fucking wallet!

/end rant

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Yet NOBODY takes me up on my offer of free mammograms smdh

theeWeeBabySeamus

Inorite?

jjfozz

“but don’t give your money to Susan G. Komen, donate to a local hospital, because fuck that organization and its greed.”

jjfozz

To every last person who made “This is Us” come to life, you should all be stuffed full of gigantic scorpions and then set on fire. And then tossed into a dumpster full of rats.

Senor Weaselo

Are the rats also on fire?

Beastmode Ate My Baby

The rats are rabid, but the dumpster is full of acid.

Sill Bimmons

This Is Us has to be the worst thing ever on the teevee.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Counterpoint: Browns games are still televised.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Counterpoint: The Lethal Weapon TV series.

jjfozz

Counterpoint, that VW commercial that uses Eddie Rabbit’s “Driving My Life Away”

Senor Weaselo

Counterpoint: That Cavemen show.

JerBear50

Fox News?

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Is this turning into a Cassandra Peterson appreciation thread?

http://www.who2.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/elvira-3-487×730.jpg

ALXMAC
JerBear50

Only if we know DTZM isn’t prowling around somewhere.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Internet daddeh is all-knowing and all-seeing.

JerBear50

Internet dada?
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Brocky

Evening all, apparently there’s something else I can add to the ever growing list of why “I’m a horrible person”:

“Not agreeing that a kid throwing a moltov at a trump sign in california is grounds for condemning the entire democratic party”

I sure hope your night’s are going better!

Doktor Zymm

That’s enough to write off the entire next generation though, right?

jjfozz

How soon before Trump completely, totally, loses his collective shit?

Jaylong

Two months ago.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Not soon enough.

JerBear50

What’s the over/under on days until he openly turns on Pence?

jjfozz

Gotta be soon, I’d say [slides on sunglasses] “Pence must be tense.”

JustStopDude

I’m out folks…nothing interesting is going to happen in this game and I got a shitstorm greeting me at work in the AM.

All you nuts stay safe…

Senor Weaselo

BFC’s Kershaw jinx officially worked.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Beerguyrob

Hodor needs to play better in Non-division games.

herodotus450
BrettFavresColonoscopy

“Deposit”, eh?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I honestly had no idea before tonight she was actually a redhead

JerBear50

Yes, and she’s proven it in photo shoots.

Romonobyl

Not too bad for 65.

JerBear50

I wouldn’t kick her out of my hidden dungeon.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Average spin rate is a bullshit MLB stat. It’s far more relevant to the porn industry.

Beerguyrob

“Spit rate”, maybe.

LemonJello

A Good Evening to thus august assemblage of commentists!

I’ve survived another trip up I-95 without:

1) being involved in an accident

and

c) not running any assholes into a bridge abutment and then setting their car/bodies on fire

All in all, I’d say that deserves a couple of beers.

jjfozz

Yes, I’m happy to see. No, that’s not a pepperoni in my pocket.
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theeWeeBabySeamus

Hoppy Ki Yay double IPA….ACQUIRED!!!!
(from a local craft brewer…good shit)

Let’s do this!!!!!

/sees Indy ahead
//kills self

Beastmode Ate My Baby

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

You are way behind, drink up.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Working on it as I speak….errrr, type.

jjfozz

I bet the real pages of the bible are still hidden in the mountains of the middle east, and I’m goddamn sure that they name Cris Collinsworth as the antichrist.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Now, now, Joseph Smith said they were in the middle west, right?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Sill Bimmons

The Hill Of Cumorah in upstate New York.

http://askgramps.org/files/2014/03/Hill-Cumorah.jpg