There’s a chill in the air. Can you feel it? The hobos huddled close by the open fire sure can. There’s talk that it’s about time to head to the west coast. That means another three weeks of evading them darn switch yard bosses and the dogs that leave deep scars. Such is life on the rail. Wives, family members, kids-they’re all a distant memory. Just like you, they’ve moved on. Trusted friends? There are none out here-not when you could be shivved for a torn and patched and patched again winter coat. No, it’s every man for himself. A murmur rises ’round the fire. Someone’s got a pair of dice! Maybe tonight you could win a can of beans, or maybe even a night with Oral Lucy. Course, you could also lose your last pair of socks. Ah, what the hell, you only live once right? TO THE GAME!
Hou/Den-Your narrative is “Brocky Comes Backy” but it’s not as though he’s returning as a player that Denver (in retrospect) dearly wanted. Hell, the Broncs have their own guy (Paxton Lynch) that can match TD’s with intercepts and they’re not playing him. The most depressing stat related to the Texans qb that I’ve seen is that he’s 4-10 on throws over 11(!) yards. It’s not the 40% completion rate that gets me-it’s the fact that over the course of six games he’s ‘let ‘er fly’ less than twice a game. That’s boring-as-hell, god-awful, ratings-draining, 3 yards-and-cloud-of-dust bullshit football right there in a short throw/nutshell. Houston is a running team though and despite playing against stacked lines rb Miller is doing okay with a 4.2 ypc average and 631 combined yards. Look for him to get short passes (ya think?) outside the tackles and try to break something. The Broncs will also rely on their guy-rb Anderson-to get the running game going against the 29th-ranked D in that category. Migraine-conqueror and HC Kubiak returns to the sideline and has indicated that rook rb Booker might have a ‘special package’ for the Texans. Houston has been crushed by superior teams (Vikes, Pats) and I expect the same here.
Thar ye be! LET’S DO THIS THING!
Denver looks all competent, I’m gonna take ’em in Survivor and they will fuck me sideways, won’t they??
I’m also MOAR than a little asexually gay for Devontae Booker
Asexually gay. Really? After all this time I been trynna cohabitate with that sweet Hippo ass, you gon’ go and say that. I am going to go find a different future. You don’t love me and you never did.
It is the old meaning; happy and excited : cheerful and lively
… and he wants some oral.
I dislike him because if he keeps doing good I am gonna lose my insanity league matchup
Hey, that’s against me, right? Go that guy!
Do you think the reason there aren’t 6 downs is so there can’t be a player wearing the number 6 making a 6 yd play on 6th down and therefore signifying that he is the antichrist?
that player would celebrate after every play. for minutes at a time.
True story, my wife and I celebrated our 6th anniversary on 6/6 this year.
Strokey Kubes, smarter than Brock Lobster? YOU DON’T SAY…
They’re not strokes, they’re out-of-body zone offense epiphanies.
http://cdn0.wideopenspaces.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/download-6.gif
This is up there close to my own personal favorite GIF of all time…
It sums up Vince McMahon’s WWF so well too.
It’s a shame that Denver had a QB that they were counting on signing and then went another way.
KIND OF LIKE WHAT THE FUCKING HORSE CUNT ELWAY DID TO BALTIMORE. YOU FUCKING FUCK.
Mayflower fucked Baltimore way worse than Elway ever did.
I hope you’re not withing Fozz driving range.
Or mine, for that matter.
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ljb5cxKqS11qixleeo1_500.gif
Good thing I live in Antarctica.
You better be careful! You will get withing’d!
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_leeptqJa9P1qdlkgg.gif
When I go into Baltimoron Berserker rage, no one is safe. Fuck Mayflower while we’re at it. And as always, burn in hell Irsay. A pox on you and your house
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ljb5cxKqS11qixleeo1_500.gif
I’m not withing, just laughing.
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view2/1191763/laughing-puppets-o.gif
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ll5iu47xoQ1qc08ab.gif
checking it down short of the marker, 3rd and 3. hee hee
http://static.comicvine.com/uploads/original/11124/111243883/4821520-7106031574-Angro.jpg
MAIM! KILL! PUNT! PUNT FOR THE PUNT GOD!!!
This game isn’t turnout out nearly as bad as the first five minutes had me thinking. I mean, it’s still pretty bad, but not historically bad like I wanted it to be.
http://cdn.bleacherreport.net/social_assets/nfl/Week_1/Raiders_Chargers/Raiders_PuntFail.gif
The 9-9 tie is still in play.
Shhhhhh….dammit!!!!!!
THESE HOUSTON TEXANS I CALL’EM CHARLETON HESTON IN PLANET OF THE APES ‘CAUSE THEY’RE STARTING TO GET OVERPOWERED BY A SIEMIAN
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
an actual footballing touched down??
http://66.media.tumblr.com/fda420cb5843dca0e0fe6d17f1cbbde5/tumblr_o6i0emhFZ51rhd1xfo1_500.gif
Great to see them pan the camera to Elway just in time for him to extract his wad of dip.
Holy shit, I forgot what a touchdown looked like until now.
For a moment I pondered the idea that a World Series game might beat Sunday Night Football this year, but then I saw the matchup is Cowboys-Eagles.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/fd18446b6cea5cd5bdc61ac4e644503b/tumblr_o7qd98ZhQQ1rslm9po1_400.gif
Holy shit! They’re blowing a horse on the national broadcast!
OK, I’m gonna give this until halftime. But I have no intention of sitting thru a repeat of last night until like 1 fucking am. Not happening.
Same. I can’t deal with so much blech football.
it is not mandatory…we will all just be…disappointed
Disappointed with my absence?
That has literally never happened before in evar. Trust me, you’ll get over it.
Pretty sure I am the only one who enjoyed the hell out of last night’s game.
balls liked it. But he’s fucked in the head just as much as you.
He is…. poor delighted fucker.
all who made it to the end were rewarded and delighted, those who gave up partway felt it a turd
http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/0a/0ae7a13d04b5de6d130c596ecb230ada236834ca4d615c55cc34cb2781535f42.jpg
10 MOAR yards needed…
Question: are we supposed to post Imgur links on the image?
Answer: fuck it
&token=AQAACsEOWCUaw2bu8XxO5jQx4Y4SMrPrH3zJlUhobbd17kkoTF8a&app_name=reddit.com
https://postimage.org/web.php
you know…there is a former Bronco QB available who has actually won a playoff game…
Just saying…
yeah, but we like Elway in the executive suite. Just neighing…
Jake Plummer?
We need at least ONE McManusDOWN (aka, long-ass FG) per Dale’s Pale Ale I have left to consume this evening.
Our OL is flaming monkeyshit.
A defensive match up = pitcher’s duel = time to watch porn
Hey make it snow: I’m drinking that umami IPA. It’s not much of an IPA, and it’s not overwhelming with bonito flakes, but there’s just enough of each to make it pleasant and drinkable, much like other Japanese craft beers I’ve tried.
Also, I saw that 10 Barrel has a Joe IPA out or something. Can’t remember if I’ve heard it before, but I hear it’s a great shower beer for minors.
That was 1 quarter!?!
Objects may on screen appear derpier than they are…
Been listening to this on the radio. This game sounds almost as good as AZ/SEA.
Almost.
Chachi Osweiller just got Malachi Crunched…
am I nonplussed? Yer darn tootin!!
“Verily I wrote ‘Game Over’ in my notebook”
-Noted douchebag….
That Donks fan chick with the lipstick blue me …
6 would be dangerously close to insurmountable
Wow…Houston with some imaginative even if conservative pussy play calling there. I’m mildly impressed.
About time to layer beer on top of them pills…
Best pill chaser I know…
https://postimg.org/image/mr4f9biel/
like how this here fella thinks
Eli petitioned the league to move the Giants bye week to the same week Fantastic Beasts comes out.
http://www.nockergeek.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/khorne_med.jpg
PUNTS FOR THE PUNT GOD!!!!
The “total penalty yardage, both teams” record is also in play, right?
Good thing I still have the Spurs to watch…really the NBA in general as long as TNT is showing the game.
Throw it to ME!!!!!!!
/might have lied a little bit
http://www.rantlifestyle.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/tumblr_m2sqokH45n1r5yxxso1_500.gif
I like this dog, too. Just saying.
we should have all pitched in and sent Dok in full crazy American REDACTED SUPERFAN regalia and sent her to London to GET BRITAIN HYPE to beat the Bungles.
Redshirt could have hypothetically gone too if he had voted FOAR HillyBob.
/ok, he can still go, but only if he speaks nonstop of CARBOAT
What about me? I’d drive her there for free.
I’m sold! Great at spending imaginary money, with imaginary authority.
/FOAR LinkedIn later
Holy shit Lex Luthor looks like fucking crap on the sidelines…
I’m rooting for another 6-6 tie
I fucking love the latest thing NFL talking heads are doing now, which Gruden just did, where they drop hints the reason players are getting hurt so often now is because the players union is pushing back on the number of full pad practices…as if teams were allow to beat the players into the ground even more for their paychecks, some how these injuries would not be happening.
Its especially humorous to hear this crap from former players that played during the time that the average NFL player looked more like the average Joe than a professional athlete. Its akin to Mary Lou Retton comparing herself to gymnasts today.
While this is not as blatant as the dudes calling a Chargers game pushing for a new stadium, I believe these talking points are actually being given to them by NFL higherups.
I wasn’t totally serious when I commented a while back that in-game commentators are really just NFL PR folks, but it’s looking like that’s really true.
he’s quite the shill
OK, this is the last one. Probably.
http://media.galaxant.com/000/165/290/desktop-1429197114.jpg
While we have this timeout, remember that Jags/Titans COLOUR RUSH is the one MANDATORY TNF broadcast of the year. Because…res ipsa loquitor, DUH!!
And we get Redacteds in London Sunday!!! Think of the Euro-protests!
Just trying to make Thursday Night Football happen*
http://i.imgur.com/qipnSiW.gif
*unless it’s Thanksgiving.
I like this dog. Just saying.
Christ, why the fuck are the Bears in primetime so much this year?
you know what you did
Well they do need a qb and sex cannon is available so I mean, isn’t it obvious? Rex wants to impregnate your eyes through yout tv!!!
This I might actually watch.
You don’t watch it, you experience it.
Trying to compete with other bear-themed teams I suppose
It’s almost as if the NFL truly doesn’t know their audience and is wondering why viewership is going in the toilet.
Chicago’s a big market! Everyone loves a big market side!!!
I’m so jaded about the Bears that I might actually root for the Vikings since they seem to be trying to win and I don’t totally hate them.
TERRIBLE FOOTWORK. I has always said that. Never shown any improvement.
If they’d made that easy holding call against the guy blocking Ward, we could be well on our way to a fifth punt.
yeah, on that replay was pretty damned blatant.
I don’t believe in charity.
I don’t believe in sin.
And if you don’t believe in me,
We’ll play this tune over again.
I don’t believe in pinnacles
And I don’t believe I’ll try.
I do believe in Captain Crunch (and David S. Pumpkins)
For I am the Frizzle Fry.