KC/Ind-The last time these folks met (January 2014) KC was up 28 points before qb Luck was channelled by the memory of Frank Reich (history!) and pulled out a ridiculous 45-44 playoff victory. KC needs this one to keep pace with Oakland and Denver. Indy could lose this one and still be in the mix of things in the mire that is the AFC South.
Oak/TB-The Raiders stayed in Florida after last week’s win over the Jags. They’re trying to acquire an identity as a team that wins on the road and are doing quite well in that regard. Congrats to those of you that picked up rb Rodgers just before he racked up his first two career 100 yard games. All it takes to be successful in this league is to not be liked in both Atlanta and Chicago. Wr Evans is a beast but he has to rely on a gang of not-Who’s Who to take the pressure off. Good luck, guys like Shepard, Shorts, Humphries and Martino-it’s not as though you’ll get by on talent. [I’m well aware that I am an old white guy laying on a couch]
Sea/NO-Many a te Graham owner wishes oh-so-dearly that this one turns into a shoot-out. Here’s a line you don’t see often-Seattle is 1-1-1 on the road. No, that isn’t a fan sign missing the “D”. I’m guessing this is another game where the road team does anything they want on the ground/through the air and Bree does his best to cauterize the gaping wound.
Det/Hou-Texans fans (wha?) are hoping that rb Miller can go today otherwise they’re gonna get The (Alfred) Blue (‘s). Lions qb Chunky von Suetpants has put on his big boy apron and will most likely get a big-ass contract at the end of this year. His 15/4 TD/INT stat speaks volumes as to how well he’s playing-and that’s with no run game to speak of. Who would have guessed that feeding the ball to Megatron 15+ times per week might limit your game? Yes, I’m sure all you Lions fans out there [sound of a soundless vacuum] will tell me of the myriad reasons why he’s upped his game. [waits] Okay, perhaps qb Osweiler could learn a thing or two from Chunky by not targeting wr Hopkins so much. As things are, Hopkins ends each day with the following prayer-“Dear Lord, help me to grow 8 inches overnight so that I might have a chance to catch all the balls that sail over my head. Amen”.
NYJ/Cle-If you’re currently incarcerated in a CIA “black site” in the northern part of Yemen, this is the game you’ll be seeing as a non-stop loop of Carly Rae Jepsen’s greatest hit plays. I advocated for something from the Insane Clown Posse’s early work but was out-voted. Sorry for your luck.
NE/Buf-Will the Billys bounce back or do they show their Cindy Lauper-approved True Colors? (timely reference, huh?) They’ll have to do it without rb McCoy so that makes the next man up someone called Mike Gillillesseealyho. Hmm, sounds Somoan or something. The stupid Pats will likely roll over Buffalo using some tactic that they’ll be punished for two years from now.
Ari/Car-THIS IS ONE HELL OF A GAME!…last year. Now it’s a battle to see which team can fall the furthest from pre-season expectations. Carolina is in the lead but I wouldn’t count out a coach that can’t figure out how to get his best player (rb Johnson) 25+ touches per game.
Alright…LET THOSE FINGERS FLY!!!
Quincy Enunwa… balls
David Johnson really taking advantage of the Carolina defense being exhausted from sacking Palmer for the last 2 and a half hours.
I see we’ve entered the portion of the game where the Bills say fuck it and just praise Bleergh
I know it’s dumb, but I really want the browns to win just 1 game.
Detroit’s record must remain unchallenged
But I want to fill the offseason with, “Who is really the worst 0-16 team ever?!”
How funny would it be if Brady sprained his knee by sliding awkwardly?
That’s just too damn cute.
Not to be outdone with this Brady and palz assfucking, Theo Riddick scores? JEEBUS
Factory is trying to Factory to Bryce Fucking Petty…
I miss the free booze, but football is SO MUCH BETTER than listening to fox news go on and on about Hillybob’s emails.
Going back to the earlier conversation, another reason bad football is better than no football, THE ALTERNATIVE IS SO MUCH WORSE
Well, I wasn’t going to drink today because of how much we drank last night… but this game is causing me to pour a scotch. At noon.
I think that’s a wrap on the day.
NFL Memes called that a bourble.
Another Rusty Nail in the coffin
Vick-esque from Tyrod
My local mega-mart has a sports paraphernalia section. There’s about 1 Texans item for every 10 Cowboys. That pretty much sums it up.
That’s about the ratio I saw in Galveston, and what I’m seeing at IAH
THE NICK FOLES EXPERIENCE IS BACK
shit, is Nick Foles, like, an UPGRADE??
It’s like being upgraded from locked in the lavatory to Ryanair
Back from watching OrangeJello’s U19 el futbol match, 3-0 victory, and she got an assist on the first goal. So what did I miss?
\checks posts and scores
wow.
I really hope there’s a limejello, a tangerinejello, just right through the whole citrus family.
“U19?! No thanks!”
?quality=80&strip=all&w=1600
Perception Vs Reality:
Perception: I’m not a kid anymore, but I should be able to handle a few drinks. It’s not like i’m going to be super sick or hungover tomorrow
Reality: I’ve never been good with the morning after. Hungover as shit, and my stomach is bubbling like the damn La Brea Tar Pits.
hope everyone else’s morning is better
how the
I have largely stopped drinking because I feel so much better the next morning.
But I still really love good beer.
It’s a conundrum.
I woke up hungover (Halloween party had jungle juice AND Jello shots — two things I haven’t done since reaching legal drinking age) around 7:30. Took a couple hits, fell back asleep til 10:30 (Cards were already down 7-0) and am doing pretty good now.
Here I am trying to be the good sport and still fielding a valid fantasy lineup despite starting 7-0 and my reward is Tom Brady having his way with me.
That should be 0-7. This is symbolic of my fantasy performance.
I’m getting fucked in the ass by Dreamboat and palz too
I drafted Brady in the 4th or 5th round.
I’m kicking ass.
Is this the new Jaguras?
https://twitter.com/thatmikeklauss/status/792788595740323841
Not as pronouncable, unfortunately
This song has been on casual repeat since yeah right posted it last night. I really wish I had access to weed because I think it would be amazing to smoke a bowl to.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGT4V6JmINA
“A Cure For Forests”
-Logging Companies
It truly is.
The Cowboys game can’t start soon enough. These games are all ass.
Ugh, have to put on pants and go outside. The worst.
The worst part is I can’t even drink watching this agony, my Saturday students have a concert tonight that I’m playing in and possibly conducting.
Cardinals needs to phone it in and suck for Watson.
By which I mean, just leave Palmer in at qb.
69 touchdowns for Gronk, and the all-time franchise record in New England.
You know some BU coed is going to be getting scored on tonight worse than that Buffalo DB.
Dammit. BC.
Wait, who am I kidding? It’ll be a porn star celebrating Gronk’s 69, not a coed.
Gronk is way, way too much for coeds to handle, if we’re assessing his prowess based on the Bills’ D today.
I wouldn’t be at all surprised if he retired right now.
Hey, Yeah Right, are you still looking for info on the meat grinder attachment for your Kitchen Aid?
A little info couldn’t hurt.
This is fucking ARI’s season in one play. Just everything is slightly wrong that they do.
Since we’re running out of October, I’ve got an Oktoberfest menu for you.
If you were to run to the store now you could have this ready in just a little over 4 hours.
One of the early Sunday Gravy posts.
https://www.doorfliesopen.com/index.php/2015/06/28/sunday-gravy-with-yeah-right-das-ist-gut/
Lounge is playing fox news instead of football. Is free booze worth listening to this shit?
Don’t they kinda cancel each other out or lead to a vicious cycle or something?
I don’t think so. Alcohol causes enough loss of brain cells and Fox News would only serve to destroy the rest.
LEAVE WHILE YOU STILL CAN!!!
NOPE! Flip tables on your way out screaming about how Rupert Murdoch has turned those SHEEPLE into conspiracy believing fucks who wouldn’t know good booze if it pissed down their throats.
Wilson still doesn’t have an incomplete pass in the game.
Also, fuck you Schlotzsky’s commercial for making my warmed-over pasta look meh.
That actually looks super-fake/plasticky to me. The cheese is melty, but the tomato is fresh and still covered with dew? And the heat distribution is all off, with hot stuff both on top and bottom, with cold stuff in the middle? Who the fuck designed this thing?
Sooooo you’ve never had a Schlotzsky’s original? IT IS MAGNIFICENT! NO ONE DENIES THIS! … unless you have food allergies or whatever…
They toast the bun open faced with the cheeses, olives and meats in place then add the veggies when it comes out of the oven. ENJOY!
Prosise sounds like a medical procedure that was stopped mid-word.
Fuck you WordPress for making me do math while hung/drunk.
Millionaire is still a thing, and apparently hosted by the guy who hosts The Bachelor.
Seahawks trickery!
FALSE FLAG PLAY
If you told me the Jets would be down 10-0 after 1, I’d look at you and respond “And you were expecting something else?”
Cleveland’s lead in that game is proof positive that you CAN, in fact, polish a turd.
Jest – Factory on CBS. What kind of torture is this, Gooddell?
Oh fuck. Yes, we here in central Ohio have a lot vested in the New Orleans – Seattle game.
Seriously? Can’t we get a game with ONE team from the Midwest?
“What do we care what you want?”
-TV Execs in New York and LA
53-yard Brady bomb, and I have an erection.
Hasn’t someone sued Papa John’s for false advertising? “Better ingredients, better pizza” is clearly a lie.
“Ingredients, Pizza” would be a bit more honest.
the Bills are just THE WORST, eh?
I WANT to cheer for them. They make it so very hard.
“CINCY BEATS REDACTEDS 27-27.”
-Harvard Crimson
oh yeah, I forgot I swapped my kicker to Lionel Hutz. GEAUX FG!!!
That’s a shit-ton of quacamole. It would take 20 minutes to cut up that much avocado.
Giants fan over here prefers a tie over win.
YO LONDON WE HEARD YOU LIKE TIE GAMES SO HERE YOU GO
THE IMMACULATE TIE
Who’s as happy as a pig in shit? THIS HIPPO!!
HAIL CHAOS!!!
BEST HAIL MARY ATTEMPT
didn’t make the 20, 5 yards out of bounds.
Hey, if London gets an NFL game, they get to suffer through the “kissing your sister” metaphors, too.
http://cdn.supadupa.me/shop/395/images/2354054/nikolai_grey_yellow_geo_pattern_silk_ascot_tie_cravat_massive.jpg?1467457671
That’s a fair outcome. No one deserves to win this game.
Washington and Cincinnati will take that point.
oh my YES!!!