Mia/SD-The Fins have won 3 in a row to get to .500. It’s probably just a coincidence that second year rb Ajayi started getting meaningful carries at the start of this run. Sometimes the key to winning (and perhaps saving your ass) is just sitting and staring at you from the bench, huh, HC Gase? Thanks to a 196 yarder posted last week against the Titans, Charger rb Gordon has vaulted into 3rd place in rushing with 768.
Dal/Pit-Things hang in the balance for a Steelers team that is coming off a division loss and is now 4-4. A reduction in the amount of mental errors and finding a way to cover the opposing tight end would go a long way towards getting the V. The Cowboys have the look of a team powered by youngsters with tons of energy that hasn’t been smacked in the face yet. Dallas in a squeaker?
SF/Ari-The Niners give up an average of 182 yards on the ground. The Cards have an elite running back. Hopefully the Arizona coaching staff has watched some game tape of their opponent and can figure out that 2 + 2=4.
Have at it my precious children-TYPE!!!!
I wonder what percentage of Nicki Minaj is actually carbon-based?
She’s silicon-based.
James had that….Thanks Toussaint
Good safety work by Toussant there
Excellent offensive pass coverage.
Pittsburgh’s fascination with 2 pt conversions may just win the game for the Cowboys.
Fantastic defense by the Steelers offense there on that 2 point conversion…
It’s all rigged!
Based on the 15 minutes of last night’s SNL that I saw, I have two observations:
1. Kate McKinnon is a national goddamn treasure
2. Someone needs to make Dave Chappelle do another sketch show IMMEDIATELY.
Both are accurate. But it’s clear ain’t nobody making chappelle do nothing he don’t wanna. Nice deal if you can get it.
I get the feeling Chappelle got tired of doing really sharp, intelligent comedy but having people only appreciating his one-lines
I am watching that right now. 2 definitely needs to happen. 1 is true as well but we need to concentrate on the second one.
Oh, Chargers. Jeebus. Get out of your own way.
Dear Dallas. I always hesitate to tell people to die in a fire, because it is such a horrible death. Considering the fact that there are a maximum of 2 people on your team that I don’t hate, I will revise my sentiment. Dallas, die in a massive, tragic, diving accident. It’s a shame all those oxygen meters were wrong, but you died looking at sea turtles, and that’s okay.
See, all that pent up hate done gon’ and fucked up your avatar. Serves you right.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming in agony like all the passengers on his bus.
LMFAO
Lumineers sell out (again) this time to AMEX.
Fuckers.
Even Hipsters gotta pay the bills.
National Flagging League
Holy shit Lawrence!
How are the LOLphins beating San Diego?
Floatceptions.
“Medical situation” = “massive head trauma, so he’s gotta miss a play”
Why the FUCK do we need a commercial for that?
How many donuts is Tony Romo eating on the sidelines?
Yes
Romo still doesn’t look as comfortable as Fatliesberger did on the sideline. That motherfucker just blimped up the minute he couldn’t play.
Kind of upset I didn’t buy those panties with the constellations on them. If nothing else I could make jokes about leading wise men to their messiah.
http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/orion_nebula.png
The glow in the dark constellations? I bought those for my lady. She was not as enthusiastic.
Did you pair the gifting with the appropriate Madonna song? “You must be my lucky star…”
I have matching planets and stars socks and underwear. If I was single, I’d have lots of lines handy for them, but instead, they’re just funderwear.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUixl9oelVQ
Just hope the man won’t ask if that constellation is Cancer.
OK, kids, the HRTN poster post is scheduled for tomorrow at noon CHI-town time. Undies, shirts and Diggler’s Donuts coffee cups are next on the list.
Oh goddamnit, Rivers.
Now were talking. First, Dok comes out and admits her inner repressed Cowboy fandom, now a deep play for the lead!
I’m fairly certain we’ll get a hearty “FUCK THE COWBOYS” out of her before game’s end.
Al Michaels has to be pissed he doesn’t get to cover games like this.
DEZ FUCKING BRYANT!!!!
X
Dez didn’t hold onto the ball until he got back to the bench…that doesn’t count as a completion…
That play looked like total shit right up until Bryant crossed the goal line.
DAK DAK DAK DAK DAK
It’s been over two weeks since I’ve watched porn or jerked off. It got hard this morning but I feel oddly better off not wasting my time with it.
Are you channeling your urges into the arts and sciences?
I find it useful just to quit sometimes, although prolonged periods of anxiety or depression will pretty much kill my desire without a choice.
Troy…NO ONE RECOVERS WELL FROM THOSE TYPES OF HITS!
Jesus…a concussion doesn’t care what fucking position you play…
Rough day for Rivers, and he’s not helping anything by holding on to the ball for too long half the time.
Dok’s avatar looks even cuter on mobile.
I feel like players intentionally block punters as hard as they possibly can.
So, the way I cope with Rapey Von GrayDick, I enjoy the fact that he plays through tons of injuries and that makes his success okay. HURT FOR IT, HORRIBLE PERSON!
Now BEN knows what its like to be dominated by a person bigger than you. Just like all his victims
I honestly do believe one day he will simply explode on the field, or at the very least lose the lower part of one his barely-stitched-together legs, and I am fine with that because, y’know, rapist.
Based on what I’ve heard, I hope for much worse for Rapey Winston.
Jesus I thought Pitt’s punter was dead.
KICKING LIVES MATTER!!! WHEN WILL THE VIOLENCE STOP!?!?
Ladies and gentlemen, Football Dominoes.
How are the Browns not involved in that?
Gahh, fuck.
RUN THE MOTHERFUCKING BALL
The Dallas O-line has picked a strange week to take off.
That shitty field isn’t helping either.
Oh shit that throw
Joe Buck’s beard looks medically transplanted.
Knowing about his love for hairplugs, that’s very possible.
Fuck me. I was ballin up in my homies driveway and now my ankle is so badly sprained that I can’t feel my foot and I’m probably going to be out for almost a month. I should’ve stayed home watching football
Get off my lawn.
I’ve sprained many an ankle. You’ll be ai’ght, depending on what you actually need to do with it.
I need to wrestle
You can probably manage in two weeks if you wrap it right. I tore through shit in my right ankle to the point where I couldn’t put weight on it for two days, and I could jog in a week and a half.
On a Sunday? When couches and football exist?
http://i.imgur.com/X0vfSN0.gif
Ice and elevation, ASAP. It won’t fix it but it’ll keep it from getting much, much worse.
I speak from experience. My right ankle is still noticeably bigger than the left after a law school basketball sprain that I ignored too long, and that was in 1992.
I don’t have to like Elliott, despite him being fantastic. But Dak seems legit likeable, and I can’t dislike Alfred Morris. DAMN YOU COWBOYS FOR MAKING IT KIND OF HARD TO HATE CERTAIN ASPECTS OF YOU. FUCK OFF ANYWAY.
Uhoh. Someone ordered from the shiny bottle.
No, just standard whisky and soda. This is just how I actually feel. Moral relativism is a bitch.
I might make a malortini later.
Oh no honey, that’s how you get scars that are awkward to explain.
Despite being competent, he really does look rather clueless and panicked before every play, doesn’t he? I think that adds to his charm. DAK DAK DAK.
Romo is really enjoying that Etch a Sketch Jerry bought him.
I’m pretty sure he’s watching classic cartoons on that thing.
I haven’t yet today….
DAK DAK DAK DAK
It was earlier…pre-cheese curds and booze.
Tony Romo over there playing solitaire on the tablet
I can’t leave until I finish this drink. It is fucking awful. If I try to down it in one shot I will hurl.
$5 if you do.
While Joe Buck reads the NFL’s Veteran’s Day script I’m reminded of the last time I called my Vietnam vet Dad and said “Happy Veteran’s Day” and he laughed and said “fuck that.”
Hey Zeke exists
tWBS has a way too full belly now. Like sink into the couch and don’t move for three days. This is going to negatively affect my early week productivity I fear.
Ugh.