The NFL had a hell of a task on its hands yesterday-to attempt to make us forget about the previous few miserable days. In a remarkable upset, I think they actually pulled it off. Will wonders never cease! By my count there were 10 games decided by 9 points or less. No, the NFL isn’t “back!” nor do I have its back but baby steps, right? And judging by the overall mood of the comments yesterday in the threads I think folks here are in general agreement that the day was a good one. The big question* now is of course-can the Mighty New York Giants beat the blasted Bengals tonight? TO THE GAME!
Cincy/NYG-Qb’s Dalton and Manning are mirror images of each other (okay, maybe if you were wearing rose-coloured glasses while peeking at The Red Rifle) in that they can surprise the hell out of you at any given time with competent/incompetent play. They also have access to an All-World wide receiver that has a habit of bailing them out of bad decisions and long third down situations. The Bengals need this one to keep pace with the Ravens/Steelers in an AFC North division that is so sluggish it may as well be the 405 during rush hour. (for my SoCal friends) There are wingnut Giants fans out there that think that they can still win the NFC East. Wow. It takes all kinds I guess. With a win they would be the sixth seed however and there is little to no room for mistakes because the Redacteds and Eagles are right there. We may just have another watchable game on our hands. So sit back, tear open a juice box, and pour some vodka in there-there’s some tube-watchin’ to do!
As always, TYPE LIKE IT MATTERS!
*I’m not good with big questions
It hit me just now that Thanksgiving is already next Thursday.
Fuck.
Yup. Time flies when you’re an old fuck
Would it be child endangerment to lock her inside a soundproof box until she screams herself to sleep? Asking for a friend.
No
Is the soundproof box also childproof? Then it’s A-OK.
“President Elect Trump, you’ll be doing lots of traveling over the next four years. Lots of walking. How will you make sure your shoes stay tied?”
“I will make sure to use lots of knottzies.”
Oof. That one hurt a bit fozz.
Gotta work a dad joke in there. Plus, I was bumming myself out. Plus, fuck Trump.
That joke has been around for a long time and I NEVER get tired of it….. just now it scares me.
Well done.
Home Depot and Lowe’s report inventory for hobnails completely sold out.
I.G. Farben to replace Halliburton as prime contractor to the US Government.
This just in, Volkswagen to provide all vehicles for Trump Inaugural Parade.
Daaaaaad I want an AUDI!
Potential nominee for National Science Advisor:
http://www.americancinemathequecalendar.com/sites/default/files/stills_events_390_240/drstrangelove_0_1.jpeg?1411427859
Bullshit. He actually knows science.
No he’ll just bring in Kissinger, but remove the one moral the man has. No, I haven’t figured out what that is yet.
That’s because he doesn’t have any
This just in, Hugo Boss receives gigantic order for brown shirts in sizes ranging from Youth Small to Men’s XXXL
The only good thing I’ve come across so far is the vast amount of material for Fozz’ anger. Not that you really need any help with that.
I haven’t seen such illegal use of hands since Kellen Winslow Jr. realized he needed a new soap dish and some stationary.
Just landed in Denver. Do I need to be sad about missing this game so far?
http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/2013/07/laughter.gif
Sort of kind of. The first two touchdown drives were entertaining.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/7261dfade5f4c6f1c78ee868fd5634f0/tumblr_o6tvblsyu71qiu1coo1_1280.jpg
Jesus Christ, Trump. Who will be your Press Secretary, Joseph Goebbells IV?
To bad I can only upvote this once.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/34e06dc65dc191c4ad9d90fa41f36b69/tumblr_nhufwmDfxI1tulv1do1_500.gif
The best press secretary EVAH. You won’t even believe how good a job he’s gonna do. It’s reich up his alley, folks. Believe me.
Well you know Trump likes shock women with the come behind fucking.
HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Trump is a little confused about the prospect of appointing a secretary who he’ll have no interest in sexually assaulting.
that’s a bad spot
“Well, guess I’m tossing this white suit in the nearest dumpster then.”
-Ray Lewis
That is much better mine.
-Tawmmy
Dude,you’re telling me brah. My cerebral cortex has been fucked up since yesterday.
-Gronk
Giselle says there is no bad spot for her tools. I have to agree.
-Tawmmy
“that’s a bad spot”
– Michael Vick, consigning himself to hell
A game in Mexico? Which team are the Mexican fans going to throw balloons filled with piss at?
Both
All of them.
Hopefully the ones in the black & white striped shirts (assuming Hochuli is reffing).
Over/Under on number of anti Trump signs for that game?
Bengals defense is a little angry about that first drive I see
Please put a db on Eifert-otherwise he’ll kill the Giants.
I just asked my wife if she wants the D tonight and she said no thank you, so I suggested she tune in to this game.
http://i.imgur.com/xnpRwdL.gif
Oh Giants.
OK, so no D tonight. That’s cool, I just like to stay informed.
Flag for the FLAG GODS!
Damn, Eifert has wheels for a tight end
https://vine.co/v/eTYeqmZ3Ttd
Oh, ok. This is gonna be one of THOSE games.
That pass to te Tye down the middle has been available for two games now. Manning finally hit it.
Someone should tell The Bengals this isn’t a playoff game.
I fucking broke today.
It was yesterday for me.
Someone should probably tell Cincinnati the game started
Chad OchoCinco: *staring at watch* “But coach, it’s only six thirty?”
Marvin: “You forgot to allow for the time change.”
Chad: But time DIDN’T change, LOOK! *Shoves watch in Marvin’s face*
Marvin: “No Chad, New Jersey is in a different time zone.”
Chad: ??????? CARBOAT!
WHOOOOOOOPPPP!!!
Hiya, kids!
Did y’all make me a millionaire yet?
You’ll soon have my money.
Most of the money goes to Zazzle. My commission is pitifully small, since I know DFOers need cash for alcohol, strippers and bail.
Makes hand motions he saw in Dr. Strange:
“Abra-kapocus, you’re a millionaire!”
\Tries to fly away, runs into door jamb
DAAAaawwww, look, he’s all ascared of the big purple guys…
*Giants show some imagination on first down
“Where’s my fainting couch?”
“Will Tye” sounds like the kind of phrase you’d see in a Craigslist ad posted by Rex Ryan.
Let’s Go Cincy!
Kickoff? LET THE SWEARING COMMENCE!
Those kids are lucky they weren’t singing in Philly
The article picture makes me think Christian Bale in good makeup could play Tom Coughlin in the film version of 18-1.
Evening.
Too celebrate the fantastic Cowboy victory, I rocked an Oxford button down crop top to work. HR can suck it!
Sleeveless?
http://ramar.images.worldnow.com/images/10612673_G.jpg
I wore my Dez tee-shirt.
http://unwikit.com/images/thumb/a/a3/FixThisSRich-shirt.jpg/200px-FixThisSRich-shirt.jpg
Jesus Dalton looks like fucking cartoon
Jesus Manning would be a much better cartoon.
http://static.srcdn.com/slir/w1000-h500-q90-c1000:500/wp-content/uploads/Christopher-Lloyd-Judge-Doom-Who-Framed-Roger-Rabbit.jpg
“Kevin Can Wait” is better than dying in a gutter.
I doubt that
http://www.irkitated.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/football-meme.jpg
I hate social media burns that are way disproportionate and petty.
Counterpoint:
*was deleted
Why don’t they just fuck and kill each other, and leave us alone?
http://cdn.smosh.com/sites/default/files/2015/01/Apu-Nahasapeemapetilon-weird-name.gif
So gronk played most of last night’s game with a punctured lung. Having had one of these myself when I was young all I can say is that is damn good hustle. Fucking insane and extremely detrimental to ones health, but damn good hustle nonetheless.
He just thought it was a weird STD symptom.
Oh what are the chances the Giants and ESPN had a film crew to tape this moment.
I missed if they said it was his actual ring, or a replica/replacement ring?
We are getting rings now? I thought it was just a poster! What a day!
I am.watching old Cops instead of the pregame. Whaddaya think of that Berman??????
*Puts on serious hat*
Fuck Alzheimer’s. My wife’s grandfather is wasting away from this disease and probably won’t see the weekend. As someone who has a history of this in their family, its sad to see what is happening right now, and is also fucking terrifying at the same time.
*Takes off serious hat
Now where’s my bourbon?
While not as bad by itself; full blown dementia is not a picnic either.
*But a picnic may be occasionally be imagined.
A mix of the two, which is usually what happens I guess, is a real fucking banquet.
Sincere condolences to your grandfather in law, but more to the family dealing with it. Been thru it with my maternal grandfather, and also Parkinsons with dementia with my father. Degenerative neurological shit ain’t fun for anybody involved.
Hang in there.
Much appreciated. The wife is taking it pretty hard since she was the first granddaughter and was very close to him.
Totally understood. Give her my regards if it seems appropriate to her for imaginary folk to care.
I’ll pass it along regardless. Certainly can’t hurt.
Crazy MNF fact of the game…
Trent Dilfer once won a Super Bowl!
http://www.mainlineautographs.com/images/product_pics/PTDC0013_20110831526.gif
I’m not him per say…he really didn’t do shit in that game. But he was on the team!
I’ll raise you Brad Johnson…
These are the New York FOOTBALL Giants, correct?
No, the New York ACTUAL Giants. Game should be over in about thirty seconds after they stomp the Bengals flat. The rest of the scheduled airtime will be the Giants scraping those flat bastards off their shoes.
I like the way your jib is cut.
But they’re not Frost Giants, right? Because Odin made ridding Midgard of the Frost Giants one of his tent pole issues for selection as the All Father.
I would watch the fuck out of Donald Trump gouging out his own eye.
As long as Shepard puts up 0 points….