Everything still sucks out loud and should be set on fire. It will all be ablaze soon enough, and Lesser Footy exists to hopefully help distract you at least a little bit until it happens.

The early Saturday fixture (7:30, NBCSN)is strong and assy, with 6th position Manure hosting 4th place Arseholes. 6 points separate the two in the table, though, so objects in the mirror may be farther away than they actually appear.

A busy 10:00 window features Soton hosting the Shite (NBCSN), and hopefully beating, well, the absolute shit out of them. Everton host Swans on Extra Time (and will no doubt disappoint me), plus Leicester/Watford (also Extra Time) et al.

Spurs host West Ham (12:30, NBC) and who gives a shit? My local affiliate is bumping it for NC State/Miami. Womp womp.

One sad little game Sunday (Middlesbrough host Chelski, 11:00, NBCSN), and a sadder one for BMNF (West Brom/Burnley, 3:00, NBCSN) and that will be that.

Oklahoma State at TCU (Noon, FS1)

If the Pokes keep winning, that Bedlam game could be mighty meaningful (and not just have a really cool rivalry name). We will see if Bloodeyes have any resistance left in ’em.

Florida at LSU (1:00, SECN)

Re-scheduled hurricane game, SEC really could use the marquee game given all the teams on D-1AA “bye” but they left it in this weird time/channel slot.

Washington State at Colorado (3:30, Fox)

Possible dry run for the Pac 12 title game, much like last week’s Washington/SC tilt. Prelude to the Apple Cup, but one knows Mike Leach wants 9-0 and will be focused on the Buffs. Good game.

Indiana at Michigan (3:30, ESPN)

Time to find out just how shitty Meeeechigan’s backup QB is. Hopefully, hilarity ensues.

Stanford at Cal (5:30, Pac12)

Neeeerrrrrrd hate is still hate.

Clemson at Wake Forest (7:00, ESPN)

Perhaps Team Jeebus Camp will continue sabotaging itself as much as the Fightin’ Petrinos. One can only hope.

Oklahoma at West Virginia (8:00, ABC)

De facto Big 12 title game, and winner has an outside shot at the playoffs (especially if Boomer Sooner). Hopefully, it will be fun, for the alternatives are dire.

USC at UCLA (10:30, ESPN)

Sexy hate is still hate, too.