Yes,  I know.  I’m fully aware that by the time you read this, Thanksgiving will have been over for a good 24 hours…more or less.

Don’t care.

I couldn’t think of a better theme this week than Thanksgiving.  So sue me.  Whaddya want for nothing, a Rrrrrrrrubber Biscuit??? (obscure references ftw)

And trust me, as I’m writing this (beginning early AM on Wednesday) I’ve got Thanksgiving, amongst other things, swirling around in my head.  Today, Wednesday, pies must be baked.  Then tomorrow I have to cook for 15 peoples.  Most of whom I truly wish would stay the hell at home.  I love ’em all.  Even their pain in the ass kids.  But all of them together at the same time?  Well, let’s just say that Roger Murtaugh was a man ahead of his time….

Will I see the parades?  Nope, gotta check on the Turkeys (plural).  And the dressing, and the sweet potatoes and the green bean casserole and the…..

Will I see the footballing on Thursday?  Highly unlikely.

What am I thankful for?  I’m thankful that these people are all healthy and mostly happy.  I’m more thankful that they allegedly have homes of their own, will be out of my house by sundown, or thereabouts, and this time next week I’ll be 3 time zones away tucking singles in the g-strings of…..

But that’s a story for next week.

This week, it’s Thanksgiving.

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Yeah, aside from the year, that’s bullshit.  And even the year was chosen arbitrarily.  You know that, right?  Just like every other white person who ever walked the planet back then (and many who still do), those fuckers were lying from the get go.  Squanto got lucky as he managed to avoid both being sold into slavery and getting hauled across the Atlantic;  as well as avoiding getting infected with smallpox when the Puritan Typhoid Mary’s brought it over with them…possibly not in that order.  Then in spite of it all, he decided to hang around with teh white folk anyway and be the bigger man.  Their alliance then led to the native American “allies” being co-opted to attack and conquer other neighboring native American communities.

And then, after each massacre of neighboring villages, they ate a shitload of food apparently.

Doesn’t have the same lovely embellished literary ring to it tho, does it?

That being said, in spite of the historical lies we tell our children, I really do have an appreciation for the spirit behind Thanksgiving.

No, shut up, stop laughing.  I’m serious.

I’ve been blessed in my life in many ways.  Still, I’m more than aware that I come across as being a thankless dickhole more often than not.  In reality, that’s merely a persona of sarcasm.  Well, usually it is at least.

But the truth is that I have a life much better than most people on this planet.  I realize that.  And I really am thankful for it.  A formal holiday in which to express that gratitude is actually pretty cool, IMHO.  We should all take the time to stop and appreciate what we have, especially including the people in our lives whom we love and who love us back….even if they are at least occasionally a pain in the backside.  And not merely on the 4th Thursday of November once per year.

Life isn’t perfect.  Nor is it ever going to be.  Just like in the 17th century, people are all too often apt to lash out and hurt one another, whether from fear or greed.  It’s sadly a fact of biology.  When such actions do occur, it can often be difficult to reconcile.  And it’s easy enough to check out and just say screw it.  But taking the easier path will rarely if ever get you where you want to be.

“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”

― Edmund Burke

Standing your ground, or standing up for yourself or those you love….and yes even sometimes being a thankless dickhole, sadly, is sometimes necessary.

But there ARE good things in life, and good people.  Sometimes it’s difficult to see them or find them.  They are gold nuggets if you will, buried or hidden amongst the ruins.  When we stop seeing those nuggets, or even stop looking for them….and especially when we stop appreciating them…..well, then we might as well just go ahead and lie down and wait for the end to come.  As well as for evil to triumph.

FWIW, I’m thankful for each and every one of you imaginary people.  All of you, at different times over the past year and in your own ways, have demonstrated to me your strength of character in countless ways.  Most often in the form of holding onto your sense of humor when life kinda sucked.  That’s pretty doggone impressive.  That’s why I love [DFO].  You’ve welcomed me into this little imaginary community, given me countless laughs, given me food for thought at times, and made me to feel at home amongst you.

We don’t always agree.  At times we’ve disagreed vehemently, in fact.  But that’s OK.  Because I know that if the chips were really down, you’d have my back.  And I’d have yours.  That’s what counts.

/gets down off soapbox

//trips over own feet and breaks bottle of vodka

///licks vodka off floor

Don’t you judge me.

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Sports We Are Thankful For

OK, just a behind the scenes moment here….

I most often write the bulk of Sexy Friday early in the week each week.  Obviously, the sports/current events parts have to go in later, otherwise they’d no longer be current events.  So this part right now, I’m writing at about 3am on Friday morning, basically still the night post-Thanksgiving.  My kitchen is still a fucking mess and I’m gonna have to go clean it when I’m done here.  Or maybe it will wait until tomorrow…errrrr later today because…..

Shit, I gotta review THREE NFL games this week.  Dammit.  But at least the games didn’t suck yuuuuugely.  Well, unless you’re a Vikes, Redacteds or Colts fan.  Sorry guys, you know who you are.

Early, the Vikes and the Lions matched up.  A battle of a pair of teams at 6-4, but headed in opposite directions.  Sam Bradford and Matt Stafford competed for most average NFL QB of the decade, and neither was able to emerge as the frontrunner.  So, the kickers had to do it for them.  Last second Detroit FG gives Detroit the 16-13 victory.

Then the goddamned Cowboys and the goddamned Redacteds.  Fuck them both.  This is the game I managed to see the most of because my nephew in law is a ‘Boys fan…yesterday he was a drunk as fuck ‘Boys fan.  And for 3 qtrs  this game sucked.  Then both teams decided that there’s nothing wrong with a little offense.  Dak Prescott once again proved why he was the steal of this year’s draft.  Ezekial Elliott once again is causing people to try to decide ROY vs MVP (why not both?).  And Dez Bryant needs to shut his talkhole and act like he’s been there before.  Bottom line, ‘Boys outlast the ‘Skins to win their 10th straight, 31-26 is the final.

And then the Colts and Steelers.  A team I grew up loving and now hate vs a team I’m supposed to hate but can’t.  Rapey McGrayPenis got the job done, because his line kept the hapless Colts off his ass all night (ummmm…..there’s a joke there).  And also maybe partially because the Colts were without Luck (heh, get it?) and were therefore totally out of sync all night on offense when it counted.  Ultimately, the Stillers went to Indy and embarrassed the Dolts.  Couldn’t happen to a nicer bunch of fuckwits.  May the Irsay family and all of their pets burn in hell.

OK, I gotta go clean up my kitchen.  My OCD is eating at me.  Plus, in less than 8 hours from the time of this writing, I have to watch U*NC kick the living shit out of NC State.  I’m sure as shit not doing THAT sober.  Run Matt, run.

So pre-dawn drunkenness will now commence and by the time you read this I’ll likely be huddled in the corner, sobbing quietly.  Sooooo, the rest of sports this week is just going to be links.  Follow them at your leisure/discretion…

Today’s/Tonight’s NHL slate

Today’s/Tonight’s NBA slate

Today’s/Saturday’s NCAAFB slate

Today’s/Tonight’s NCAABB slate

**POST GAME EDIT – See Matt run.  Run Matt, run!!!!  King Hippo’s and tWBS’ self-immolation gets all delayed n shit!!!!!!

Fuck You Carolina.

28-21 final, good guys manage to not piss it away.  Suck it Tar Heels.  You Stay Klassy, fucktards.

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Thankfully Sexy

I was going to tell you a story of Thanksgiving (Pilgrims, Native Americans, cooking a shitload of food) thru sexy photos, then I decided screw that.  So here are some sexy and semi-random photos which can at least be (at least loosely) associated with Thanksgiving.  Sorry, I’ve got pies to bake….

OK, enough of that.  Time to be nice to the ladies….sort of.

Like I said….sort of.

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I have no idea what photo of my own creation to share with you this week.  I think I’ll dig way back this week.

This is a photo which is four years old to the day, obviously post-edited to an extreme.  When I lived in Arizona, I used to bike every morning.  This was taken at first daybreak on one of the bike paths I used to frequent, which runs along a canal to a distant vanishing point….and as I already said, manipulated to an extreme degree, obviously.  But I still think it looks kinda cool.  Kinda psychedelic in a dark way.

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Go, eat some leftovers.

And do something nice for someone else.  You’ll be glad you did.

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