Your Second Round of Somewhat Interesting Games NFL Football Open Thread

Let’s get right back up on that horse, commenters-TO THE GAMES!

Sea/TB-The Good for Tampa? The Bucs have won 2 straight. Seattle has to fly across the country for the third time. Qb Winston has been playing well of late. Tampa is only one game out of first in their division.

The Bad? The Bucs are 1-4 at home. Since 2012 Seattle after Nov. 1st is 31-6. Tampa nickel cb Adjei-Barimah is out and if Grimes plays he’s limping. Rb Rawls is finally back though there is little behind him.

Car/Oak-The Raiders have doubled up the Panthers win-wise 8 to 4. Who saw that at the beginning of the season? The Raiders have scored a minimum of 27 points in their last 4. Whatever the outcome it should be a close one-the Panthers last 4 games (2 wins, 2 losses) have been decided by 3 points each time.

NE/NYJ-I’m hearing different things about Gronk but Brady and wr’s Hogan and Edelman are going to be on the field. LET THE CRUSHENING COMMENCE!

There you go-BE FRUITFUL AND MULTIPLY IN THE COMMENTS!

 

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King Hippo

I’ve been in the car, toggling between the OAK and SEA broadcasts on the radio. It’s nice knowing nothing of the P*ts fixture excepts the laments in RiveBrog.

Senor Weaselo

THESE JETS FANS, I CALL THEM A BOWL OF PETUNIAS BECAUSE THE ONLY THING THEY’RE THINKING IS “OH NO, NOT AGAIN”

Doktor Zymm

Oh well done

Dunstan

+42

Spanky Datass

VOON!

ThursdaySkyGoddess

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...

Banner quote.

King Hippo

I’m getting to the point of the season when waivers get cut off in my league soon, so I got my 2nd kicker before the run (you need one in case of injury during fantasy playoffs). But there is nothing worse than agonizing over the prospect of losing your matchup by picking the wrong fucking kicker.

Doktor Zymm

I should buy one of those google home devices, and have it and Alexa fight to the death, then use the winner.

entropy

The Person of Interest strategy.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Come on Jets, you know you aren’t gonna win this game, just dive head first at Brady’s knees after the whistle all day.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Brady? Poise? Drink!

entropy

My friend who is home from the military is leaving tomorrow, and I’m about to head out with her for a little while. I figure I’ll ignore the game until I return home at which point I can just completely give up on football for the year.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Good afternoon folks. I’m far too sober following the Chargers win. I blame a leaky roof and successfully selling my old TV on Craigslist. Sundays aren’t supposed to be for being productive!

Doktor Zymm

But now you can use your sweet used TV money to buy booze!

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I’m worried that I’m too predictable sometimes…

Brick Meathook

Hank Scorpio just gave Homer the Denver Broncos. Project Arcturas was a great success!

...

It’s really a shame Homer didn’t inherit the Browns, but they hadn’t been that shitty at that point.

evilbeaver8

With Belichik’s pact with Satan and Brady having access to whatever designer PED immediately replaced HGH we could easily be stuck with the Pats for another decade plus.

Doktor Zymm

Jets turnovers just become old enough to drink!

ThursdaySkyGoddess
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Grumble grumble when is the NFL shop going to bring ME in to do a mom I mean an ad grumble grumble.

ThePirateSloth

God. Dammit. Wilson.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

This game sucks the suck of many sucks.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So I was thinking my cat would be a fan of the Panthers, but then I remembered that she does NOT like other cats.

Doktor Zymm

Maybe Bears fan?
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Bears fans have repeatedly shown they hate cats.

Doktor Zymm
...

I mean… SQUEEEEEEEEEEEE

evilbeaver8

Your cat is right about cats.

Romonobyl

If I was an NFL linebacker, I’d have a Hello Kitty mouth guard. I don’t know why, I just would.

Gratliff

Goddamn, Charmback just got annihilated

entropy

I’m not asking for a lot. I don’t even expect the Jets to win…. just end the career of that whiny ass pretty boy sonuvabitch

ThePirateSloth

I’m currently making myself some grilled sammiches consisting of turkey, bacon, 4 cheese mac n cheese on large sourdough slices, with some gravy as dipping sauce.

If my later comments are just gibberish, it’s because I have died from pure joy and my body is stubbornly attempting to live on without me.

Spanky Datass

I fried up an entire package of bacon yesterday morning to go on turkey-bacon-swiss sammiches until the turkey is used up.

entropy

So, according to the ref, you. Own require an “extra, second violent act” for unnecessary roughness….. next Pats possession, someone kick the fuck out of Brady’s knee and walk away. It’s only one act.

Senor Weaselo

Does the wind-up count?

entropy

Nope. The kick is follow through.

Senor Weaselo

You Only Move Twice is on, so we’re good for the next half-hour.

Brick Meathook

I just changed to this. I’m at my Mom’s and it took me 5 minutes to find FXX.

Next episode is when Homer becomes a professional boxer. Gold

entropy

That was some serious bullshit

Doktor Zymm

Haha, dumb Pats penalty

Doktor Zymm

Or not….

BrettFavresColonoscopy

You know what still suck? People on trains.

ThePirateSloth

WHOOOO 3 MORE POINTS

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

OK, now I feel better: LALALALALALALALALALA…..la.

http://img.pandawhale.com/post-20112-Jennifer-Love-Hewitt-GIFs-Cele-gVr6.gif

Romonobyl

I’m fascinated by that white poofy thing in the corner.

ThePirateSloth

WHOOOOOOOOOO 2 POINTS

Doktor Zymm

Damn, I really kinda wish I was gonna be in Chicago for Xmas. Skins/Bears tickets start at $29.

Doktor Zymm
...

I’m going to go out of my way to avoid listening to anything he says or reading anything he writes. No words he produces are worth the energy to process them.

ThePirateSloth

I just.. I just can’t today. No.

If we are all sane in 4 years time, it will be a fucking miracle.

Romonobyl

The next four years are guaranteed to at least be…entertaining.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Sane? I just hope I’m not in a camp.

King Hippo

You think we, or ANY shreds of humanity, are gonna be around in 4 years??

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
...

The only question at this point is how long its takes his most ardent supporters to realize they’ve been conned and turn on him.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Four years down the road? No; “libtards” and media reporting will be blamed for everything.

...

A lot of a people who voted for Obama in rural areas voted Trump this election for the same reason: hope and change. Once they realize they aren’t getting it, they’ll flip back to the other party. (see 2010)

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Also see Kansas where Republicans have turned against Brownback for running the state into the ground.

King Hippo

They turned against him to extent he had almost 70% disapproval, and still re-elected him. With Trump, you can see America KS-ifying.

...

They have voted out more than a dozen of his key supporters in the legislature there and Brownback won reelection by a pretty narrow margin–very narrow when you consider 70% of that state is Republican.

Considering the nation as a whole isn’t so Republican, it’ll be much easier to flip the federal House and Senate if Trump fails to deliver, which he will.

King Hippo

It will always be the fault of any/all of the fault of this grab bag:

1) Blacks
2) Hispanics
3) Liberals
4) the Media
5) ALIENS (remember, these ARE tabloid readers, to the extent literate)

Doktor Zymm

That’s pretty much always a mistake.

Romonobyl

I wouldn’t be remotely surprised if it was true, but Trump needs to learn to differentiate from being ballsy to just plain saying stupid shit.

...

Voter fraud has never shown any particular party preference, so no, I’d be very surprised if that statement were remotely true.

Romonobyl

Oh I don’t doubt for a minute the RNC wasn’t perfectly capable of the same thing. I bet voter fraud is a real thing, but both sides a likely equally guilty.

...

Voter fraud is real, it’s just not expansive enough to tip a national or even state-wide election without being noticed.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

If what was true? Voter fraud has been widely disproven by multiple CREDIBLE studies. I guess if Rush says it enough it turns to fact.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

That’s the new narrative. That Obama personally had 3 million illegal immigrants vote for HRC.

Doktor Zymm

I wish I had 3 million people at my beck and call to do stuff for me. That’s a good sized army of minions!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I can tell you right now; MY GARAGE WOULD BE FUCKING ORGANIZED FOR ONCE!

Romonobyl

Hey, but I read it on the internets!!!!!

Doktor Zymm

This is from NBC Chicago : “The Bears had a chance to pull off a comeback win over the Titans, but true to form, they blew it in the most humiliating way possible.”

evilbeaver8

“Most humiliating way possible”=while wearing Bears jerseys.

ThePirateSloth

Hahaha, my lady friend says the only true star of Star is Lenny Kravtiz dick.

...

HIS PANTS COULD NOT CONTAIN IT.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He is too much for fashion to contain!

Doktor Zymm

Jets actually won a review! Holy shit!

Senor Weaselo

I expected the review to put the ball at the Jets 29 when all was said and done.

Doktor Zymm

I never expect challenges to overturn anything, and certainly not against the P*ts.

evilbeaver8

The truest act of defiance is to start your own twee, precious little food truck. Viva la revolucion!

King Hippo

Looks like my fantasy life will come down to Devontae Booker and Smallwood v. Cobb and Starks of the Pack. May have a 10ish point lead, depending on how much more the SEA defense fucks me over by sucking.

I’m going lotto ticket for Smallwood’s variance/upside, having benched the safer Robinson (who did fuckall), Howard (did average), and Emmanuel Sanders (don’t trust my QB).

ThePirateSloth

What in the god damn fuck Seahawks

King Hippo

my fantasy D/ST, sorry

...

Jesus.

Doktor Zymm

I assume this was his opening line on Tinder or similar.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’m thinking that is what unsolicited bullshit deserves.

Senor Weaselo

I haven’t seen Colin Kaepernick’s effort come up short since he said he didn’t vote in the election.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

MEMORANDUM
TO: New York Jets
FROM: Non-Patriots Fans
RE: Dreamboat

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Senor Weaselo

+4 sets of corsets?

Old School Zero

“I did not throw away my shot!” — B. Pollard

Doktor Zymm

I think I’ll watch Pats/Jets until the score gets too stupid, so….like a quarter

Shogun Marcus

Kaep nearly deKaepitated. Fishes show cromulence.

Doktor Zymm

Handy tip : Putting 60 seconds into the microwave instead of 1:00 saves valuable time and finger energy!

Shogun Marcus

Survey sez…Yup!

Senor Weaselo

That’s why they have the minute plus button!

ThursdaySkyGoddess

I’ll always do 90 instead of 1:30, because LAZY.

Doktor Zymm

Me too! Plus it’s a great way to give those underused buttons like 7 and 8 some love

...

Not lazy, smart. And rebellious. Fuck that base-60 system BIG TIME tries to force on us.

Doktor Zymm

It’s amazing how frequently smart and lazy coincide.

...

I’d get strange looks for entering 90 instead of 1:30, but it always works.

King Hippo

I like to put in a number of seconds greater than 60 to break the nomenclature of rolling it to the next whole minute. Is it just me that do that?

Doktor Zymm
Gratliff

For the love of god, give him the catch. Can someone get a fucking catch?

evilbeaver8

Fun NFL Fact: The player referred to as “Brock Osweiler” is actually Blaine Gabbert sitting on the shoulders of Blake Bortles inside an extra long trench coat.

Senor Weaselo

Brock Adultman?

Gratliff

What the absolute fuck was that, Harbaugh?

JustStopDude

Intentional holding because on a safety to make sure the Bengals don’t get the ball back.

Fucking hilarious!

Senor Weaselo

Hopefully the “Tom Brady praying for the sweet embrace of death” variety, not the “Why am I a Jets fan” variety. What am I saying? Of course it’ll be the “Why am I a Jets fan” variety.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSPNQ82Sq4E

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