Wow, It’s freaking December. Remember when we were all so damn giddy way back in September? It seems like almost four months ago now. Time sure does pass interference at the drop of a flag, doesn’t it? There’s only a few more of these babies left this year-I say we embrace them as tightly as we do that large-breasted, slightly tipsy co-worker that wants a hug at the office Christmas party. There’s nothing wrong with that. Now if she happens to be a 20 year-old temp that HR has repeatedly spoken to you about, perhaps not. Look, I’m a big fan of honeydews and cantaloupes and I bring them into work on a regular basis. It’s not my fault that I haul them to her desk and say, “these are the second-biggest melons in this office!” But I undress… TO THE GAME!
Dal/Min-Wanna-be Tampa Bay Bucs avatar Mike Zimmer had surgery on a detached retina and is out for this one. The “NEXT COACH UP!” is Special Teams coordinator Mike “Call Me Michelle And I’ll Gut You” Priefer. If his teams are so special why doesn’t he have a head coaching gig already? The only shot the Vikes have here is to improve on their +20 takeaway number which is third-highest in the league at this point. Stupid November Rookie of the Month DAK! and his stupid 4th best QBR of 108.6 and stupid Ezekiel Elliot and his stupid best 1,199 rushing yards are likely to power past the Vikes fairly easily. Were you aware that them Cowboys have only 4 players on their roster over the age of 30? They’re going to be a competitive team for quite some time. Did I mention that I hate everything? If you were around in the early ’90s you could probably make the argument that Johnny-Come-Lately Cowboy fans have it all over today’s Pats backers. [Charlie Brown-like *sigh*]
As always (except for last week-you don’t see me using ‘family obligations’ as an excuse to not post content, that’s what booze is for) tune in to the extraordinary shenanigans of Josh, Bill, Tim and that other guy whose name I forget and their podcastian greatness. It may very well be just below this here work of art.
Done. GET AT IT!!!
Speaking of the Kelloggs stupidity, Lady Shogun decided to do a thing. She just started a gofundme to buy Kelloggs cereal for the local DV shelter!
https://www.gofundme.com/kelloggs-for-golden-house?ssid=824081564&pos=1
What’s so funny is if the left did this, those same people would be laughing at how stupid it is to boycott cereal. (Because it is.)
http://25.media.tumblr.com/3d562ac1ba3ddfd8afd2be2472be31e9/tumblr_meqtfjbZMJ1qh59n0o1_r1_250.gif
Zeke’d
Hey. Should I put the game on or keep watching Richard Pryor?
Fumbleina?
Hand it off, dummy.
I’d swear I heard the Benny Hill Theme on that so-called return.
Club Purple does not look to be the hottest nightclub in Minneapolis.
I’m enjoying the irony of the Boycott Kellogg’s bullshit after reading about how John Kellogg was a super-religious fundie who invented breakfast cereal to make people less horny.
Wasnt he also a dentist
I’m not seeing anything about dentistry, but he was obsessed with stopping people from masturbating.
I dunno, nothing like a few handfuls of Cinnamon Toast Crunch before rubbing one out.
See, Kellogg made his cereals deliberately bland to prevent that. After a handful of corn flakes, you’d feel so melancholy you’d forget to rub anything out.
“MAKE AMERICA GRAPE AGAIN!!!”
-Purple Jesus
“I did my part! …Oh, wait. You said grape.”
–Darren Sharper
Wow. Tacky call
What is…a phone call made by Donald Trump’s interior decorator?
As big of a Peanuts fan as I am thanks to my mom, I still have never understood why Rerun was necessary.
OPI Bitch!
“Former Miami Dolphins coach Tony Sparano is now the OL coach”
*Bradford nearly dies*
I’m hungry. What are you fellas tossing into your maws?
A Trader Joe’s salad
Pizza from the one local place that makes good pizza
Shrimp soup.
http://thefw.com/files/2013/04/Forrest-Gump.jpg
Half a ribeye and a couple spoonfuls of canned corn.
I think this is the game the Cowboys D force a turnover.
I hope the cowboys score more points so they can win.
Whoa. WHOA. Cool that taek down. IT’S TOO HOT!
http://i1.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/facebook/000/004/705/protip-icon.jpg
SPOILER ALERT jesus crist
Do the Cowboys know they’re allowed to hand off to Elliott two plays in a row?
I heard (interim) Head Coach Mike Priefer is a UFO conspiracy theorist! But he doesn’t like aliens, he wants to nuke all the grays.
“Nuke the entire island from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.”
Ice Cowboys tie it up in the Igloo. Seguin off the schnide.
Laine just got another snipe for the Ice Bombers, kid can shoot.
That’s a looooong range goal.
Well shit!
Nice uni’s on the Vikings.
It’s a damn shame Prince passed away. He’d be super pleased to see his Vikings in so much purple.
First part of the making of the uniforms, of course:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S38O7MB8Dwk
Is Skol an actual Norse word? Then how come I havent heard it when I watch the show Vikings?
/Checkmate.
It is like cheers, except before you drink blood out of a vanquished foes skull
Wait…Randy Moss isn’t playing for the Vikings tonight right?!?
Hello fellows, If I were to stream an ice football game tonight while this game went on, which site would I use?
THIS JUST IN: The House Committee on Science, Space, and Technology has just issued a press release denying that this was the hottest year on record to be Ezekiel Elliot.
I thought they said Ezekiel Elliot was a hoax by the Chinese.
who is running that place? With Trump president it sounds like Jenny McCarthy territory.
Ladies and Gents…
yo
Al got a haircut.
That intro was gayer than 8 dudes fucking 9 dudes.
Your input is much appreciated.*
*I’ll take, “Things that girlfriends have never said to Curse of Marino for $600” please, Alex
Tried for about five seconds to give a shit about PentaWhatzit there. It didn’t take.
Eveing Gents.
When I heard that zimms was out, for some reaosn I forgot that Norv was no longer with the staff, this was my first thought:
http://66.media.tumblr.com/2fb0c5d2f09647ec4f60a63353d5895c/tumblr_nri15dizfn1r9q21wo1_500.gif
Let’s have a healthy game! No injuries for both teams.
On my way to Bad Santa 2 – odds I make it through this without a lobby trip to check the score? Nil.
Godspeed, let me know how bad it is.
http://fankraze.com/wp-content/gallery/dallas-cowboys-fans/Dallas-Cowboys-Paint-and-Leather-Hat-Crazy-Fan.jpg
http://m2.nflrush.com/bz/cowboys-fans-rush.jpg
That stadium does look nice. Any been?
I just got a short peek at the Vikings uniforms. It will be easy to hate them tonight.
America’s team?! I didn’t vote for em!
– All the Cowboy haters
http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/236x/61/c1/77/61c1779ed33fbda7015ba558200f8a6e.jpg
I am rooting for the Cowboys because I want to see the Packers make the playoffs instead of the Vikings.
The previous sentence is high on the list of things I never thought I would say.
http://i35.tinypic.com/kb6jjd.jpg
I don’t think Delores is gonna like that, William!
Meanwhile, In Miami, two white dudes perform a reanactment of Blacklight.
https://twitter.com/M_Darr/status/804407654160408577
Seriously though, you guys should watch Blacklight.
What happened to Zimmerman?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ye2a94LZ05g
Well folks, due to the standard work until 7:00 PM PST and the usual DVRing of tonight’s game, I will only be able to join you in spirit.
For someone who still remembers the Hail Mary and still fumes about it (That was fucking goddamn offensive pass interference you assholes) you know what this one means to the SKOL faithful.
Let’s go Vikes!
Oh you know what I like.
Hello!
Thanksgiving was last week, why are the Cowboys playing again on Thursday?
Jerry Jones has bought exclusive rights to Thursday. You owe him royalties each time you say it.
In a meeting earlier today:
“Hey Low Commander, here’s this CRM migration that we want done by the end of the year that you haven’t planned for. Can you drop all of the projects that your bonus depends on and do this instead?”
“Absolutely not. You should have planned for this better or at least given me more than 15 working days notice.”
“What if you were to work on it over your vacation between Xmas and New Years?”
Oooh. Tonight we get see the Vikings bust out their Nuke the Gays playbook!
Vikings built a ship out of bricks
The Canadian Women’s Network is showing “Crown For Christmas” starring Danica McKellar.
Folks
Yer one of them ‘Boys backers, aren’t ye?
Yes sir.
We got ourselves a date next week.
Payback. That game was the Cowboys till T-Williams decided to get involved.
This is Bill– I’ll take the L for not having one last week. Just got busy and ended up putting visiting my family above editing and posting the podcast. Trust me… I paid for it dearly and I hope to never put family before the pod and #content ever again. It ain’t worth it.
The other guy’s name is Nick. It’s okay that you forgot him… sometimes we do as well!
Thanks for the plug!
I couldn’t resist taking a shot because… [shrugs]
Brick Meathead sez: You have a good podcast. Cut the dead air and you can easily be a GREAT podcast.
Can’t believe you said that. FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!
[moves quickly into the background]
It’s not a fight. I’m just giving constructive advice – Meathead
Goddamn it Brick, are you going to make me explain my joke?
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLDSTAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR!
/Sorry, someone had to say it