I’d like to take this time to share with you some of my acquired non-football related wisdom. Are you ready? Here goes. I have moved many, many times over the years. It’s only been in the last dozen or so that I’ve been able to hire fellas to do it for me. That said, “the cheaper the moving company, the more likely said movers will have significant hygiene issues”. You’re welcome. Now… TO THE GAME!
Dal/NYG– Dallas has reached 11 straight wins due to the good fortune of qb Romo doing what he does most consistently-getting injured. Okay, maybe they lucked out in the draft. Okay, maybe they bothered to spend some money on their offensive line. Okay, maybe they’ve benefited from a weaker sked. Okay, maybe owner Jerry Jones has ceded some footballing decisions to folks that are far more qualified. Okay, for absolutely sure I’m a-feared of these damn Cowboys going forward. Honestly, Elisha has to pull a Super Bowl-winning performance out of his ass if the Giants are going to win. His play this year has been…Elisha-like to date, so I’m thinking Dallas is going to romp.
I hope that they don’t romp BUT I HOPE THAT YOU ROMP COMMENT-WISE! DO IT!
HAWT TAKE : DIK DIK >> DAK DAK
http://37.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kwpcmwRwNo1qzyjxuo1_500.jpg
AARod approves.
Holy Fuck that’s adorable.
Now let’s see that legendary Giants clock management.
3 and out taking 40 seconds or pick taking 12?
So, so close.
4th and 1 and less than 4 minutes left and you punt.
Fuck this.
I am rooting for a tie now. That or tWBS sneaking into the locker room and rubbing everything they own in his ass crack so they get ass herpes
ASS HERPES!
Have to go for it, yeah?
Have to? No.
Should have? Yes.
No.
Hmm, indeed. That would be imprudent at this juncture of the contest, sir.
Hmm, yes, should we fail it would not be a good eating at the post-game buffet.
Verily. Best to let the opposition feed us the win. Guffaw!
My fantasy score is gonna be like…50, but whatevs.
“Like a Dak! in the headlights.”
PUT IN ROMO!!!!
-everywhere in Texas besides Austin
If Lester Holt wants to inspire America he can ask Trump where is fucking tax returns are.
Sean Lee has turned himself into a self guided missle. Wernher Von Braun is pleased
Ereck Flowers is easily the Cowboys’ MVP tonight.
How drunk were his parents when they wrote “Ereck” on the birth certificate?
They fell down trying to cross that T
They were rekt?
Yes
Dammit. I have to wake up in 7 hours, but I want to keep watching this here cluster of fucks.
You wake up entirely too early.
6 hours for me. This trainwreck is too alluring for me.
I don’t understand the appeal but I hope you both stay
And OT is still VERY plausible.
I have nowhere to be tomorrow. It’s a Hollywood Christmas!
I was kinda hoping the snow would knock out some local business, but no such luck.
I haven’t seen this many disappointed Cowboys since last weekend in Vegas.
I haven’t seen this many disappointed cowboys since it turned out ‘Brokeback Mountain’ wasn’t a Western.
Dak and Dez have not been on the same page all night.
Jesus Dallas isn’t even trying.
The plan is punt, wait for Elisha to Elisha in better field position.
That was a curious play call.
Just hold a playbook in front of it
in hindsight, using a pop up book was a bad idea
Thank god for trapper keepers
You would think Eli Manning would be much better at believing his interceptions after all the practice he’s had
I like to imagine Eli watched Bambi a bunch of times expecting bambi’s mom to make it in at least one version.
Oh my god! This is a thing that totally happens!
at least his parents were smart enough to keep him from seeing “land before time”
Honestly I left the room to get another beer, (no shut up YOU have a drinking problem), thinking “I bet Eli throws one to the Cowboys as soon as I leave” and here we are.
Also I should stop drinking.
/Finishes pouring another G&T
Drinking problem? Nah.
One more beer couldn’t hurt
http://68.media.tumblr.com/878f327e9696c505d902ec9bcb12606b/tumblr_nb5ofgRhYV1siu9kqo1_400.gif
Small Business!
http://i49.tinypic.com/213kg2x.gif
It’s the ‘roids that shrink it.
The older black guy in this virtual reality commercial is seeing a world in which he can vote without first producing 4 forms of ID and an affidavit from the Easter Bunny.
Scott Walker wakes up, covered in a cold sweat.
Look at all these multicultural families enjoying their VR on the holidays! Trump will put a stop to that!
There’s the back breaking Manningception that was due to happen.
Return of the Elisha.
CUE MORE DELICIOUS MANNINGFACE
Cowboys Defense gets Eli
Fuck it. Buddy was far and away the best part of this game.
How the hell are the Giants running on these guys? It’s unpossible.
Good night all!
Sweet dreams, and don’t let the Marv Alberts bite!
Great work Buddy.
Good night you prince of Maine, you king of one-liners.
Or whatever the fuck Michael Caine said in that movie.
That doesn’t seem quite condescending enough for Irving.
Night Buddy!
Good night.
Gutenest of Nachts!
Well done this evening. Goodnight sir.
Sean Lee is making a difference in several communities, because he can’t remember which community he actually lives in.
Rogue One has to end with Darth Vader killing the whole crew after they give Leia the plans, right?
It better. As a straight white male I can’t take many more of these female hero movies.
Enroll at Healthcare.gov. Your policy with start and end as soon as Trump is signed in!
Spacehog nbc? While showing the statue of liberty? Ffs. Smgdmfh.
Jeez, in that weather Michele Tafoya looks like Aileen Wuronos.
http://i.imgur.com/W9oIr.jpg
Dallas’ play calling is just boring tonight.
Yep, it’s just awl-ful
That commercial is unrealistic. No one wrote “FUCK THE COWBOYS” on their balloon.
I am so much faster than Jason Witten
I tell you what, I was listening to a podcast about Richard Ramirez and he seem like a real meanie imo.
Can he run a 10 yard slash route?
Sunglasses at night JPP?
We may have a Greater Footy contest on our hands after all, lady and non-gentlemen.
One of my favorite hookups: Eli to OBJ
One of my least favorite hookups: Hugh Grant to Divine Brown
Gets his first TD-Shouldve been 2
I guess that gypsy curse wore off.
That’s what happens when you take Madame Zeroni’s great-great-great grandson to the river and have him drink and sing the song.
It’s the Giants, it’s always the Giants.
SCHADENCOWEUDE
WELLY WELL WELL
OBJ IS A ROCKET Y’ALL