Seriously, if I don’t have a stroke or accidentally put norad on defcon1 before this is over, it will be a minor miracle.
tWBS steals gifs from many places. He has always found comfort with this dynamic.
Now he has to learn to make them……????
/re-reads email with instructions sent from blax to balls, then forwarded from balls to tWBS when tWBS realized he was in over his head
//gets another drink
///re-reads again
////decides to steal what he can, make as few as possible
–
Well, I caught some good-natured (I think) ribbing last Friday for being…..shall we say, verbose? Well screw all of ya’s. You get no stories today. Jerks.
–
On to the Giffy Goodness
OK, I made a few, I stole a few. Now I’m done. Not even sure I’ll remember to post the results thread or not. Time will tell…..
–
On a totally unrelated note, tWBS now knows how to make porn gifs. The O/U on how long it takes DTZM to fire me just got WAAAAAYYYYYYYYY shorter. Hedge your bets accordingly, folks…trust me.
Alrighty then, that’s it. Start being funny, already!!!!!
–
[Romo] Winter is here. Well, Father always promised, didn’t he?
[Chips] (Looks up at Jumbotron) Hey, I can see the Niners losing from he – oh.
[OBJ] Hell, he stole it from Bob Fosse first, so I’m just bringing it back to Broadway, right?
I haven’t seen a [*Redacted] earn so much praise from tens of thousands of white people sitting on their asses doing nothing since checking my Facebook feed about the Dakota Access Pipeline last week.
He’s a regular Chip off the Turdberg.
Tanny is the first non-Eli QB to receive this.
http://thumbnails116.imagebam.com/47916/308832479158026.jpg
Oh, nuts. I just realized I spent all of SNF and yesterday never using the term DAKASHIMA DISASTER
The season isn’t over yet.
NagaDaki? But I guess that’s an explosion, not a meltdown.
I trademarked Dakashima months ago, damn it. Don’t you dare take it away from me. It’s all I’ve got.
To differentiate his talk-hole from his ass-hole?
Wow. This is a reply fail of Andy Reid Holiday Buffet proportions.
http://thumbnails116.imagebam.com/48666/c2eeed486659121.jpg
Appetizer course?
“I’d shake your hand but I got to go bail my son out of prison”
Unrelated, but I enjoyed this (re: McConnell opposing Trump on Russia investigation):
I guess Yurtle doesn’t see his wife as much of a meal ticket.
I doubt he sees his wife as much more than property…
Plus she’s Asian, so she’s like … half property.
Barely human, more like livestock.
Oh God.
OH GOD!
I just realized why Donald Trump made Elaine Chao the Secretary of Transportation.
Man, those practice squad guys are in for a long day tomorrow…
Oh, that is terrific.
“Hmm. A football game.”
“Perchance, our esteemed Coach and Eating Club President will deign let me peruse tonight’s menu prior to the appointed time.”
Lockheed just hired Deshazor Everett to design future weapons systems after effectively targeting a flea on a speeding bullet.
Chip: Hurry up with this game, I have a phone call with Rob Mullens at 5 and I don’t want to miss it.
This makes sense when you remember that the word “safety” doesn’t exist in Baltimore.
Take two:
“Safety? What’s that?” — Baltimore
In Baltimore, there are fifty different terms for “drug trafficking” but not a single word that means “safety”.
HAIL BLEERGH!!!
PRAISE THEE SHAN’KHOR BE WELL
Giving up two early in the night, also known as a Baltimore Prom Night.
So, not a shocker.
Well, there is a stink. But since it’s not October, no pink.
http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Billy-D_Approves.gif
“THESE [REDACTEDS] I CALL [REDACTED] BECAUSE THEY [REDACTED] WHILE [REDACTED].”
-Recently released email found on Hillary Clinton’s private server
I hate it when I screw up the button combo for Reid’s hundred-hand slap.
Sure, but when a journalist calls Dan Snyder an amoral circus midget, they get sued…
It’s slanderous to the circus midgets.
You know what would keep me warm? Crawling back inside of Jessica Simpson.
And I thought she smelled bad on the outside…
/does not think she could possibly smell bad
//would really like a chance to find out
Betcha this is the direction the Ravens go in the end zone against the Patriots.
“Would love to stay and chat, but the buffet closes in a scant five hours.”
I bet this is how USC feels after scoring a touchdown on this field.
This season’s team wouldn’t know.
Sensing a dusky presence behind him, Chip ascertains his wallet’s location in his pants before lingering on his balls, providing his only enjoyment of the day.
Tomsula?
The black guy
Chip just saw a beautiful chick fly by, and now can’t get those sweet breasts off his mind.
QUACK QUACK, baby
“It was then Ryan Tannehill realized that you’re not supposed to dry off a football with a wet towel.”
I did that once. Except it was a dirty rag with a wet rag. I grew into my common sense…
At least you only used the dirty rag on your balls. Some of us, well …
“It was then Ryan Tannehill realized that you’re supposed to dry off a football with a wet towel.”
Tannehill: “Juuuuust a bit outside.”
Tiny Murder: “There is no penalty for a headshot because he’s just so damn small.”
Ratbird Run: “Absolutely 3 yards and a cloud of dust. We never said it was positive 3!”
/Dok’ll get the joke at least
“I know, I’ll tell coach I lost my helmet. Then I won’t have to go back in there. That’s what I’ll do!”
Today we spell Tannehill “O-R-L-O-V-S-K-Y”
*Gruden cums*
Sad Chip – headset confirms the In and Out Burger by his house has in fact closed for renovations.
Tannehill: “Man! This ball is slicker than my wife’s pink bean…”
Landry: “Man! This ball is slicker than Tannehill’s wife’s…”
Arizona Defense: “Man! This ball is slicker than…”
Miami crowd: “¡Hombre! Esta pelota es resbaladiza que…”
Lauren Tannehill looks like the kind of woman who needs a jackhammer to get wet
I think she feeds on souls. ANY souls.
http://cdn.chatsports.com/tanne9.jpg
“In my city, we keep the traffic in the dark people—the coloreds. They’re animals anyway, so let them lose their souls.”
— Jeff Ireland’s sales pitch to the Tannehills.
“Shit! We can’t compete with that. They all live in Oakland. And our Asians don’t even have souls.”
— Chip Kelly
Unsurprised right now:
http://twistedsifter.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/fire-eater-spitting-fire-out-of-mouth.jpg
“Ham.”
Will Reid be constantly distracted if the Cowboys and Chiefs play in the superb owl?
Will he be able to smell the food in the concession stands? Then yes.
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lt2bzyYsKJ1qecz1zo1_500.gif
Oh my God. I’m Fat Mac.
DAK DAK DAK DAK DAK
“Damn cameras, they caught my ‘I gotta poop’ face.”
Alternate: *long, wet fart noise*
D. Sproles: “Purple monkey dishwasher, mambo dogface banana patch!”
T. Green: “Oh, Darren, I know exactly how you feel.”
“In these trying times, let’s all take a moment to enjoy the simple things in life.”
The forgotten brother, Spicoli Manning.
Romo:
Oh fuck, Jerrah is gonna make start next week.
Human Thumb, Chip Kelly:
“See what happens when a WHITE guy is quarterback?”
(Seriously, watch that gif and tell me that fuck isn’t smirking at the end. He’s easily in the top-five most punchable humans on the planet)
With TWBS’ initial comment, it looked like a grimace. Now I see the smirk and, yes, punchableness.
Tiny Darren:
“Here I come to save the…. FUCK!”
Context: I picture Darren Sproles singing the Mighty Mouse theme song every time he knows he is getting the ball.
Goddammit Donald.
Now it works. I am confused, but usually happens when I am about to get into bourble.
Since Jose Fernandez’ passing, Ryan Tannehill figured he may have a shot at the Marlins rotation and has working hard on his knuckleball. He just forgot he was still starting QB for the other pro team in town.
Tough but fair.
Too soon?
He was found with cocaine and twice the legal limit of alcohol in his system. And the season wasn’t even over yet. Theoretically his spot in the rotation was the next day. He was getting unwarranted Roberto Clemente level praise. Not sure how soon is soon enough.
Ramit:
FINALLY FIRING FISHER! FUCK YEAH!
After coaching in Jacksonville, Jack Del Rio has that glare down cold.
Alternately: The next morning, Andy Reid will wake up with a horses head in his bed. Not because Del Rio had it put there but because it was a midnight snack.
Per Los Angeles Unified School District – Middle School Athletics, section 7.9, participation trophies for every member.
§ 7.9 was the perfect topper. Like a shiny maraschino cherry on the sundae of suck that is the Rams
I’ve made a huge mistake.
I’d be warm if I went full Romobyl
“Why’d the equipment manager give me this lead-lined coat?”
“Touchdown Ravens!” – Jim Marshall
I could’ve been in Oregon right now.
Andy Reid: “I’ll save you some ribs at the post-game buffet, Jack.”
(to himself): I’m totally NOT saving him anything.
Reid checking the tenderness of “from the River’s” shoulder roast for his personal Christmas appetizer.
I heard the Benny Hill theme playing at first. Until he actually crossed the plane with the ball, then I heard the price is right horn.
I hear Yakety Sax for the Tannehill clip
“I hear Yakety Sax for
theevery Tannehill clip”FTFY
Eli: I wonder if mom will let obj take me to his ranch.
“Fiddlesticks! Mom said no. Something about ‘boys pants half off.’ I guess OBJ is having a yard sale this weekend.”
“Way to go guys, I think we just saved Coach’s job!”
btw, “Rams Garbage Time” consists of the past 13 seasons.
I’ve found the next and last great LA Rams QB, and no it isn’t Chris Everett.
http://cdn.fansided.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/136/files/2013/02/jim-everett-jim-rome-590×550.jpg
I didn’t think Jim Rome could look like more of a cock-wallet.
I stand corrected.
Hey now!
Cock wallets presumably have value and usefulness. Rome has neither.
True.
Janae Rice would like to apologize for her role in offending any cock-wallets with that comparison to Jim Rome.
Why do you think he grew the goatee?
To differentiate his talk-hole from his poop-hole?