Your “Seattle Doesn’t Care If Stafford Has A Thorn In His Paw” NFC Wildcard Game Open Thread

Det/Sea– Let’s be honest. We’re all pretend friends here, right? Does this not look like a Seahawks win etched in stone? Detroit has lost three in a row. They’re one and done the last eight times they’ve donned cleats for an extra game. Qb Stafford is 1-23 (1 and 23!!!) on the road vs. teams over .500. WOOF! The Lions D is dead last in the rankings despite having the finest living room accessory/head coach in the league. I’d like to see Andy Reid emulate a throw pillow! Grit Monster Zach Zenner is going to give it his best but throwing pearls before swine don’t win football games.

GIVE IT YOUR BEST SENTIENT HUMANS!

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
694 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Curse of Marino

I’d bang skyglider Toyota chick.

Spur

Woo! Head and the Heart getting some love.

Curse of Marino

You just now the guy in that commercial isnt a real Bills fan because he didnt butt chug that beer and then jump from the roof of his car through a table.

Unsurprised

Burning table, wrapped in barb wire

Horatio Cornblower

ECW!! ECW!! ECW!!!

Doktor Zymm

Turns out I still remember how to knit. I really had an exemplary youth, with a fine balance between drugs, sex, and learning useful skills, some of which had to do with drugs and sex.

Unsurprised

Jesus Christ. I want to kill my teenage self for being such an insufferable asshole.

...

I was a mostly useless teen who probably deserved death.

Horatio Cornblower

I can still play the fuck out of some Dungeons & Dragons thanks to my teen years.

Brick Meathook

comment image

Unsurprised

No, you have the unhealthy obsession with Hannah Ferguson.
comment image

Spur

Gross, she has Jeter stink on her. Forever Unclean!

Unsurprised

No, that’s Hannah Davis (nee Jeter). Although this Hannah is dating that Hannah’s brother.

Romonobyl

Broccoli is steamed.
Salad tossed (calm the fuck down).
Dinner rolls in the oven…that just leave the meat.
GO PORK LOIN OF DESTINY!!!!!!!

Doktor Zymm

Has a better shot at being good than the lions…..sad 🙁

Unsurprised

Are you an expert salad tosser?

Romonobyl

Define expert….

theeWeeBabySeamus

I think you better define “salad tossing” first.

fleshwound_NPG

NBC doin Seattle bumper music bullshit, but without Heart

My girl Nancy Wilson is 62 and can STILL fucken get it

comment image

Romonobyl

I’ve had it bad for her ever since Dreamboat Annie.

Horatio Cornblower

Ann Wilson can still get it to.

By “it” of course, I’m referring to “seconds” on dessert.

fleshwound_NPG

she’s lookin a lot better nowadayscomment image

Horatio Cornblower

So she is. Good for her.

Romonobyl

Did she pierce her tongue or is that a Milk Dud?

King Hippo

Same guy, Richardson. Maybe he should be higher on the depth chart??

Horatio Cornblower

I’d like to see him catch a pass without being interfered with first.

JerBear50

Yeah, thought I think 2 grabs for 20 yards is a little early for Collinsworth’s ODB comparisons.

Doktor Zymm

Advantage of Campari, whatever you mix with it doesn’t matter, it all has the effect of toning it down and making it good with soda water

Recovery Whiskey

Rawls doing his Baby Beastmode

Beastmode Ate My Baby

At the moment I’m…

comment image

Curse of Marino

Pearl Jam. Drink.

Recovery Whiskey

Way ahead of ya

Spanky Datass

A drink called “Pearl Jam” sounds really gross.

Recovery Whiskey

Hester is gonna get that career fair catch record

Curse of Marino

“Innocent Man” Is Ray Lewis at this game?

fleshwound_NPG

ebron, the electric TE lebron james

Curse of Marino

Pete almost dropped his gum, needs to learn to protect the gum better.

Brick Meathook

comment image

Brocky

you just brought a guppy to a carp fight!

Horatio Cornblower

I guess Jesus got tired of handing out loaves and fishes to everyone.

Curse of Marino

FOO FIGHTERS. DRINK.

Doktor Zymm

Is Courtney Love still alive?

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Was she ever?

theeWeeBabySeamus

HA!!!!!

LemonJello

Not on the inside.

JerBear50

Unfortunately.

Mr. Ayo

Yes. You can follow her on twitter at @courtney

theeWeeBabySeamus

Was she ever?

Beastmode Ate My Baby

HOLY.
SHIT.

I’m scared…

theeWeeBabySeamus

Don’t worry baby, I’ll be gentle.
😉

Beastmode Ate My Baby

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

Interestingly enough, that’s the look I imagine on IWDB’s face on the rare occasions she’s been forced to interact with me.
😀

Shogun Marcus

Thankfully no longer relevant. The daughter controls the estate.

King Hippo

and hopefully got most of Dad’s DNA.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Eeeeewwwwwww!!!!!!
Oh wait, now I see what you meant.

Horatio Cornblower

If she didn’t inherit the DNA I’m sure there was plenty she could have scraped off the wall.

Unsurprised

*BOOM*

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Pfft, whatever. There were at least eight plays of that calibre in the Oakland-Houston game.

/is referring to the routine block performed by the left tackle.

theeWeeBabySeamus

So that catch was OK I guess.

...

Well fuck this.

JerBear50

How the fuck did he catch that?

King Hippo

and it’s like their #6 WR, too. How the fuck, indeed. BUT THE FUCK LIONS OF DESTINY!!! will find a way.

JerBear50

What’s the origin of the whole Fuck Lions thing?

King Hippo

I honestly don’t remember.

JerBear50

Much obliged.

Gratliff

Grown man catch right there

fleshwound_NPG

meastly catch

Brocky

hell of a play.

fuck the patriots

Curse of Marino

THat was a fantastic catch

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

comment image

King Hippo

well, that fucking sucks

Beastmode Ate My Baby
theeWeeBabySeamus

hehehehe

Doktor Zymm

Why didn’t Pete Carroll run for president?

Spur

Come on, Detroit.

fleshwound_NPG

Lions have them right where they want them: Seattle on the goal line

JustStopDude
Dunstan

I have to admit, I did not imagine this game having less scoring than the battle of the no-name QBs.

Gratliff

There is nothing worse than running out of caffeine and living with someone who only stockpiles sugar free energy drinks almost as if she’s aware that I’d sooner take a cheese grater to my dick than suck one of those unholy things down.

LemonJello

What gives you energy in sugar free drinks? Meth?

Gratliff

Judging by the flavor…enriched uranium?

theeWeeBabySeamus

As one who only drinks sugar free energy drinks, I’m afraid to respond.
/hides cheese grater

King Hippo

Dunno what Cris is talking about, they didn’t play the read option at all. Had Wilson kept it, he would have scored.

Brocky

inside jim caldwell’s mind

shit, that fourth down call was a lot better than mine

jim blinks once

Beastmode Ate My Baby

I’d take a nap and ask my wife to wake me up when someone scored, but I’m afraid that wouldn’t happen until tomorrow’s AFC game.

Unsurprised

That’s bad?

Doktor Zymm

Until they play Nirvana’s “Rape Me” as bump or injury music in a Buccs game, I won’t comment

Dunstan

HARF HARF PEOPLE MAKE RAPE JOKES ABOUT NOT-BEN GUY NOW

LemonJello

And the dance of the power failures begins here in coastal NC – It’s gone out/come back within 30 seconds, a half dozen times now.

Curse of Marino

Rawles’d.

Doktor Zymm

Next year : Aaron Aadgers to the Lions

Curse of Marino

Commercial bump music so far:

Modest Mouse

Death Cab for Cutie

...

They had TPOTUSA earlier too.

Curse of Marino

IN BF4 NBC plays Nirvana, AiC, Foo Fighters SoundGarden or Pearl Jam

fleshwound_NPG

glow-in-the-dark ball Plinko

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Ben “I’m not just Batman, you guys!” Affleck.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

comment image

King Hippo

oh Christ, just send in the pudgy dentist already

fleshwound_NPG

holy shit, what kind of a call was that

Spur

Holy shit, what a dumb play to call on 4 & 1.