Your “Paging Tom Coughlin’s Red Face. Please Pick Up The White Courtesy Telegraph” NFC Wild Card Game Open Thread

“Anyone can ‘lick the table’-that’s for amateurs. A real pro knows that the good bits are directly beneath the table sitting there on the floor.”

-Andy Reid, misinterpreting Aaron Rodgers’ prediction

NYG/GB– 6 in a row vs. 9 of 11. Fourth in scoring vs. second in points allowed. The Pack has scored 30+ in their last 4 and the Giants have allowed 10 or less in 3 of their last four. The Giants have more interceptions than TD’s allowed. Rodgers sports a 15/0 TD/INT ratio since the winning streak began. THIS MIGHT BE A GOOD GAME. Game-wise the big fear for the Giants is if Rodgers is able to find lanes to run/elongate plays so that a wr can get open. The Giants do have two lockdown guys at cb (Jenkins, Rogers-Cromartie) and an All Pro at safety in Collins. That combined with a dl that can clog up running lanes and ends that can get to the qb has this Giants fan engaging in a modicum of hope that the victory can be pulled out. With Rodgers and the Giants D so evenly matched I guess it comes down to which is more capable-the Pack’s D or the Giants Eli Manning-led O? Shut up! The run game has improved greatly since rb Perkins has started. Over the last 3 games he’s averaged 4.8 ypc. So there. [deliberately ignores Manning’s 9TD/6INT stat line in the last 6 games] Green Bay’s secondary is a mess and OBJ can break one at any time, you know. Plus the punter Brad Wing/gunner Dwayne Harris combo has played lights-out the last few games!

…Dammit-I’m still not convinced the Giants can take this. Let’s watch this scrotum-tightening bastard game, shall we?

GO-GO GADGET COMMENTERS!!!

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The Maestro

Randall Cobb finally fucking decided to show up this game.

King Hippo

the Alpha and the Amoeba

Is this a tribute for all the injured Packers?

Spur

Rodgers almost volunteering to be the next injured one with that run

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Goddamn that was fast!

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King Hippo

The Ben in a walking boot after the game?? Jesus fuck, let’s just have DAL and NE play already and get the waiting over with.

nomonkeyfun

The walking boot is just a precautionary measure requested by Women’s Studies departments throughout the nation.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

I was confused about that since it looked like he hurt his shoulder in the 4th.

THE BEN HAVE OWIE IN ALL HIS SPOT!

litre_cola

You shut your whore mouth.

Aaron or Charmslinger or the guy in Atlanta with a terrible nickname could beat DAK.

As for the Evil Empire, yeah they are going to the Superb Owl

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

No. We shall go on to the end. We shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be. We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.

the Alpha and the Amoeba

Congratulations, Giants, your defense is doing wonder’s for the Cowboy’s chances of progressing to the NFC championship. You should be proud

rockingdog

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Brick Meathook

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The Maestro

Montgomery ded now?

Sharkbait

His knee asplode.

ballsofsteelandfury

Cowboys fans are cumming so hard i can hear them all the way in California.

Mother Puncher

Not that impressive. California is mostly cowboys fans.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

“Pass for a first down, run for loss, pass for first down, let’s run again and injure our WR we line up at RB”

– Mike McCarthy

Recovery Whiskey

Another GB injury. Win the battle lose the war

King Hippo

it’s all comin’ up Dallas. YEEEEEEHAAAAAAAWWWWWW

Horatio Cornblower

Well now I’m definitely rooting for GB to get through and play Dallas next week, as their offense is being killed one by one.

Unsurprised

Genius. Motherfucking GENIUS coaching

Spur

That ball was out.

Horatio Cornblower

I hate that “forward progress” bullshit. They should be able to review that too.

Curse of Marino

THIS GIANTS DEFENSE, I CALL THE DOLPHINS DEFENSE BECAUSE THEY ARE GETTING PICKED APART BY A TEAM NAMED AFTER A DEAD INDUSTRY

the Alpha and the Amoeba

Out of curiosity, if meat packing is a dead industry, then where do you think your bacon comes from, not to mention your porn?

Curse of Marino

From farms and shit,

the Alpha and the Amoeba

You heard it hear folks, Curse of Marino watches barnyard and scat porn.

Also, fair enough, I should have said, how do you think it gets from the farms to your supermarket

Shogun Marcus

Dead? Tell all the Mexicans in my area that do it.

ballsofsteelandfury

That’s banner material

Horatio Cornblower

You know why Montgomery caught that?

No boat.

ThursdaySkyGoddess
Spur

NY defense where’d you go?

Unsurprised

Woo!

Horatio Cornblower

Davante Adams had 997 receiving yards this year, 850 of them while on the bench for my team.

the Alpha and the Amoeba

Sounds like your team had a shitty coach

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

No, and I’d appreciate you not rubbing it in my FUCKING FACE

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

They have delivery.

Curse of Marino

I dont see how a flamer like Odell Beckham could be so cold.

King Hippo

I TOLD YOU THAT IN CONFIDENCE, MICHAEL!!

The Maestro

Spending his off-day Monday on a boat is definitely affecting OBJ’s abilities to catch the ball. Definitely more so than the fact that it’s cold as fuck out there and the ball is rock-hard. Clearly the boat is to blame.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

“People are going to talk about that trip, especially since I keep bringing it up.”

the Alpha and the Amoeba

We all knew a little shit who would do his utmost to cause conflict, grief , and misery. The news is an entire industry of those guys

Horatio Cornblower

Oh fuck off Troy. Eli over threw that ball and you know it.

But the narrative! THE NARRATIVE!!!

King Hippo

you could hear his brain clicking mid-sentence

MUST. SCOLD. BLACK PERSON!!!

Horatio Cornblower

I’m actually surprised that you can’t literally hear Troy’s brain clicking these days.

Unsurprised

QB is never to blame

King Hippo

THAT IS NOT A DROP YOU MORON

the Alpha and the Amoeba

Cold weather is a bitch for the passing game if you’re not used to it

indieguy

I hope gaga does something taek worthy when the p*triots piss all over what could otherwise be an enjoyable game

Spur

Here comes 4th Quarter Eli. It takes awhile for those Flinstones chewables to kick in.

Shogun Marcus

“Whole ROW might need ejection. Hard liquor openly being passed.”

Horatio Cornblower

That’s the Giants bench sir.

Sharkbait

It’s 11 degrees. I feel like they should get a pass.

Sharkbait

*giants false start*

Me:Who is 77?

Mrs. Sharkbait: Dead to me! That’s who!

Unsurprised

At least I don’t have to see the commercials watching this on my phone.

Mother Puncher

Eli is totally Lambeau cucking Rogers

Spur

As long as Olivia enjoys herself Rodgers is cool with it.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Field Goals are the hallmark of a highly successful NFL coach

Unsurprised

Banner quote

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I was expecting a TD when I got this gif ready. Using it anyways

http://25.media.tumblr.com/5d5d5fd4aa9004e47a9f302beb0db97d/tumblr_mz4026RCxe1toi8p4o1_250.gif

Shogun Marcus

Answer unknown.

the Alpha and the Amoeba

The correct answer is that there can never be too much cheese, unless it’s American Cheese. Fuck that edible plastic

Brick Meathook

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Spur

If McCarthy had half a brain the Green Bay would have had a TD there

Shogun Marcus

Need that Popeye gif from yesterday.

Dunstan

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Horatio Cornblower

McCarthy just can’t help but to call runs can he? Passes flying all over, TD catches all over and he runs it into a wall.

Shogun Marcus

DANCE WITH THE ONE WHAT GOT YOU THERE. STAHP FLIRTING.

Smithchez

“Why the fuck would we cover their wide receivers? All they do is hand it off every play.”

I guess Mike McCarthy went so far down the road of stupidity and incompetence he circled around to genius.

ballsofsteelandfury

Time is a flat circle, man.

the Alpha and the Amoeba

Uh Uh, time is a figure 8, and we’re in the intersection

Cecil Rhodes

Good night, Jints.

Gratliff

Well, you had a good run New York. Now fuck off.

fleshwound_NPG

This good game we thought we had, it was fun while it lasted.

Fuck you, New York.

Unsurprised

B! B! Hit the fucking B button!

King Hippo

well, 3/4 of a good game beats what we had previous

Sharkbait

Forgot to mention I’m at a bar with my wife, brother in law, and father in law. Both giants fans.

Me right now:
http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/survivor1.gif

Unsurprised

AHAHAH

Unsurprised

Awwww

ballsofsteelandfury

That reads like you started laughing heartily and then pulled a muscle.

Unsurprised

Pretty much

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Time to fill up on Manningface.

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