Your “In Need Of Emergency Post, Break Glass” National Championship Open Thread

Wait, that doesn’t seem right…

That’s more like it.

NFL News:

  • Doug Marrone will stick around the Jaguras, getting the “interim” removed from his title.
    • And they’ve hired Tom Coughlin as an Executive VP of Football Operations.
  • Depending on your perspective, Joey Porter had a good night or a bad night.
    • That’s for him, God, the police, and The Reverend to sort out.
  • Odell Beckham got inspiration from the Eagles and put a spyhole in the wall at Lambeau after the game.
    • Joke’s on him – no cheerleaders!

So, tonight’s game. I don’t know much about college football anymore, so let’s look at what I gleaned in passing today:

  • I will always enjoy this gif:

  • odds are Tide -6.5
  • over/under is 51
  • Clemson did us all a favour by beating Ohio State

I’m going to say Clemson, in a fantasy scenario, 33-30.

Although, winning might then make Saban decide to become the next Chargers coach.

Enough talk,

Get to game!


Tonight’s sports:

  • College Basketball: St. John’s at Georgetown – 6:30PM | FS1
    • only as an aperitif
  • College Football Playoff National Championship: Clemson vs. Alabama
    8:15PM | ESPN / TSN
  • Monday Night RAW – 8:00 | USA / Sportsnet360
    • only if the game goes bad

LET THE MOCKERY BEGIN!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Curse of Marino

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Shogun Marcus

The hot sister MTWV was referring to…option B
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Brocky

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King Hippo

why won’t the head ref at least get a shirt that fits, FFS??

litre_cola

Ed Hoculi is jealous of that guy

Croooow

The Satanic chants Saban invoked during halftime worked.

herodotus450
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

FUCK THAT YOU CAN’T BLAME SABAN ON ME. THAT IS ALL YOU

http://pool.theinfosphere.org/images/2/2e/619-Robot-Devil.jpg

King Hippo

They have just beat the monkeyfuck out of Deshaun Watson tonight.

Senor Weaselo

Oh for fuck’s sake.

Brick Meathook

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Shogun Marcus

Foar to punches?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hey, I heard a rumor there is a football game tonight

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

NUUUUUPE.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I haven’t heard anything about that. There is a lovely dog gif show going on here though

Shogun Marcus

Nah. Just some “reality” show with a bunch of blatant corporate synergy. Like wrasslin but with shittier writing. Which is odd considering there’s colleges involved.

Brocky

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herodotus450
Senor Weaselo

Boop!
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Brick Meathook

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The Maestro

that is just about the sorriest dang thing i think i ever seen

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I like it too.

Brocky

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King Hippo

at least school is still cancelled tomorrow, and I don’t have to get up at the asscrack of dawn to rouse my damned teenagers.

herodotus450

Yeah but is Mitch’s still open?
/Totally went to Raliegh once

theeWeeBabySeamus

Dunno about Mitch’s, but the gotdanged ABC store was closed today. The fucking south in the winter is a pain in my ass.

Gratliff

Now that I work for a school district, I have paid snow days. I’m gonna go cut the brakes on some salt trucks tonight.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I think I hate the Tide more than the Pats. I am gonna run some potential convos of telling them their team sucks.

Pats:
Me: Fuck the Patriots. Bunch of racist cheaters
Pats fan: ::punches nearest child or woman:: FACK YOU. BRADY IS THE GREATEST EVAH
Me: But they cheat and are racist?
Pats fan: Yeah. You gonna go see that Marky Mark pic?

Bama:
Me: Fuck Alabama, bunch of rednecks with nothing going on but your college program that no one from Alabama can actually attend because they never graduated high school
Tide fan: ::nothing::
Me: Can you stop fucking your sister for 2 seconds so I can insult you.?

Brocky

eh, really can’t agree with this assesment.

no way a pats fan gives up that easily, and every bama fan is going to bring up multiple titles and shit.

out of curiosity, how hot is this fictional sister?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Either crazy hot and thin because she is insane and on meth. Or a normal Alabama woman, beached on her bed like a whale brought ashore. Take your pick.

Curse of Marino
Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That reminds me; dogs can sniff crotches ALL the time, but I go and sniff ONE CROTCH ON THE BUS AND IT IS THE DAMN END OF THE WORLD.

Shogun Marcus

Telling people when you move sucks. AND WHERE DID ALL THESE SCHOOLS COME FROM?!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

ALSO MIDGETS GET AWAY WITH IT ALL THE TIME!

A little person probably has a ratio of 95% crotches that no one would want to sniff, sorry wee ones.

Curse of Marino

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7cnXZWK60NM

Oh, and a hearty fuck you to Youtube for making me watch a 30 second clip of “A Dog’s Purpose”

Brocky

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Effective system, right there.

Brick Meathook

FIGHT THE POWER

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

COMMERCIAL BUILDING FIRE SPRINKLER SYSTEMS DO NOT, DO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOT, WORK LIKE THEY SHOW IN THE FUCKING MOVIES!!!

QUIT IT YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!!

SAME GOES FOR BEING SHOT, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES!!

/sorry, not sorry
//feels a tad better now
///does not know Tad Harrington

litre_cola

Not going to lie to you. I was looking for that pic. Then realized I do not know how to imbed pics as it has never worked for me.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Google-Bing image.
Click on image so that only image appears in new tab
Copy image address to comment box
Get rid of resize junk after file extension
File extensions with capitol letters, Imgur, .jpeg, images do not work or will come in as a link.
Not bare tits, beaver, or buttholes, dicks, etc. However wet or semitransparent clothing is fucking fantastic.

Thank you for your time.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No bear tits either.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

WOULD BANG!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It was pretty much this windy at my house last night. Living in the foothills; things get rearranged for FREE.

ThursdaySkyGoddess
deviantBastard

I can never tell; is that lady or the tramp? One in the same?

Brick Meathook

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King Hippo

That took some balls there

JustStopDude

Considering that NBC will tape delay the fucking Olympics occurring in the same fucking time zone…..

Is it too much to ask that they just tape delay for the west coast people so I don’t have to be up all night?

This game should be in the final 2 minutes already.

Brick Meathook

Because there’s not much betting on women’s gymnastics.

Las Vegas is in the Pacific time zone.

JustStopDude

You…don’t…follow women’s gymnastics do you?

Mad amount of gambling. Its on par with cricket. You can get odds on fucking EVERYTHING. Huge in eastern Europe.

JustStopDude

Who gives a shit about Vegas?

If you got to go to Vegas for sports betting…you are doing it wrong. Vegas is for people too poor, ugly, and vapid for LA.

Brick Meathook

Good thing I live in LA.

JustStopDude

Am I wrong? Vegas is the “Jim Rome” of cities…

King Hippo

can you do that “fair catch FG” thingy in JV NFL??

the Alpha and the Amoeba
Curse of Marino

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JustStopDude

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the Alpha and the Amoeba

He never struck me as someone who was flexible enough to adapt to a different system

King Hippo

Nor someone who can coach in a League where players expect to be treated with a certain amount of mutual respect as professionals/grown men.

herodotus450

Clem-zon scored? Oh shit we got a game!
/loads up espn streaming app thing. It doesn’t work.
Well, time to let football further slip from my corner of the collective consciousness.

Curse of Marino

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ThursdaySkyGoddess
Senor Weaselo

YO DAWG-CEPTION

ThursdaySkyGoddess

This is the first GIS image for “puppy bowl”.

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ThursdaySkyGoddess

“Puppy bowl gif”

theeWeeBabySeamus

King Hippo arrives at the party (artist’s rendering).

King Hippo

come on, give me some credit. I would never go TO A PARTY.

Curse of Marino

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the Alpha and the Amoeba

This is rare footage of an unlicensed, unregulated puppy bowl.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rxLrtCQx-p8

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Whatever, TD. This gif got bumped to page 2 almost immediately. provided by

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ThursdaySkyGoddess
Romonobyl

I thought that was a room full of sex toys at first. I really need to lay of this internet thing.

Romonobyl

Or off even.

Brick Meathook

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WCS

Saban is going to have every single member of every defensive player’s families disappeared to a CIA black site in Bulgaria in retaliation for allowing Clemson to score.

Romonobyl

So Green Bay will be Jordy-less against Dallas. That ….ummmm…changes things.

Curse of Marino
The Maestro

Hey lookee dat

King Hippo

we can has ballgame?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Any word on when the meteor is scheduled to arrive?

litre_cola

When is the Cowboys Patriots Superb Owl?

King Hippo

would think your UGA residuals would be more anti-Clem

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hate ’em both. Not having to listen to IPTAY assholes ramble on for the next year probably does tip the scales slightly, however.

Romonobyl
Curse of Marino

Clemson is showing some fight.

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Did anyone else notice that they keep the camera on one hot girl and the rest of their students are balls of beer filled lard?

/ Did my best @TAatA, I still will join in the pile on about how WI people are fat

Brick Meathook

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Spur

this is boring. am out time for BF1