Here we are. Scotchy has, for some strange reason, been locked out of Word Press, so he can’t write up the Open Thread.
That pisses me off because:
1) I love his intros
2) I love Canada and Canadien histoire.
3) I’m literally in bed writing this on my phone and I’m just wanting to stay in bed and listen to the raindrops and watch some football.
First up, the Falcons host the Packers in what is sure to be a high-scoring even affair.
/braces himself for 6-3 at the half and then one team rattles off 30 unanswered in the second.
Who will win? Of that I’ve no idea. Who do i want to win? Well, that gets a bit tricky. This game really should be the second game so that i know who to root for.
If the Steelers were to pull off the upset and win, I’d want the weaker opponent, but if the weaker opponent wins and New England wins, then we’re just handing them the trophy already.
Fuck you, Goodell for scheduling the game like this! Well, to be fair, FUCK YOU GOODELL is as good a way as any to end a post. 200 words on the dot. Enjoy game!
So what should we put the over/under at for letters to the FCC complaining about Lady Gaga following whatever shots she takes at Trump/support she shows for women and the LBGTQ community during her Super Bowl performance?
All? All.
god, i’m not a pop guy, but my typical sb party is hosted by a yuuuuuge trumpet, and It’d be fucking hilarious
Buck sounded excited about Nelson being down on all fours…
http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/000/259/943/694.png
God damn
Gentlemen.
nice basketballing win!!
If we finally go to the tournament this year, I’m just picking Northwestern straight through to the championship. I don’t even care.
It’s cute to me that quite a few of my fellow Seahawks friends fully believe that Goodell won’t take away the second round draft pick.
I keep reminding them that Goodell has a reputation to uphold of being a fucking idiot, so it totally makes sense that he WILL take it away.
ARBITRARYPUNISHMENTGATE PART 27
touchdown, time for a drink!
realizes that once again i forgot to buy liquor before Sunday
*honestly not a big deal since I drink so sparingly
**still fuck indiana
You never need a reason to say “Fuck Indiana”
Indiana: We’re shitty and even *we* hate Mike Pence.
Holy shit, PFT Commenter.
“That fake run by Matt Ryan/flip to Sanu is called Draw Muhammad. U can run that play again now that Trumps presdent”
I love the green bay guy’s defense of that penalty, “But ref, I’m a huge piece of shit, so that shouldn’t be a penalty.”
The P*triot Way
“But ref, my team is publicly owned, so that shouldn’t be a penalty.”
-Packers fans
FTFY
http://68.media.tumblr.com/24b59a9e428efd66ebf36ae1ef12d5ff/tumblr_ohdf1rNLDB1ru67qro1_1280.jpg
I LIKE SHOVEL PASS TDS
They’re like a sweet jazz riff in sports form.
How the fuck is Kyle involved with a competent team?
He’s always been creative, sometimes that shit pays off. He’s like the DeAngelo Hall of offensive coordinators.
Yeah, well …
http://thumbnails117.imagebam.com/52112/f9f3ac521116148.jpg
in his defense, its not like the browns/texans/[*Redacted] s have a good track record without him
Nice catch
Afternoon, gentlemen.
afternoon sir.
http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/932/671/e55.gif
Gabriel really blew that one… OH FUCK IT’S THE APOC–
Come on, team that maybe can beat the Shitriots just in case!!!!
/I actually have a green shirt for some goddamned reason, so can wear FOAR luck
//Like I can be fucking lucky
green shirt
as in Green bay?
grrrrrrr
Matt Ryan will get smoked if he goes against New England. The Philly is still strong in him.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/c1d5e514c6036574f044bed1c71599e8/tumblr_oi3ojzrPZN1qdev51o1_500.jpg
I almost forgot, this football thing isn’t over yet.
Alternative facts aren’t lies, they’re just the result of multiple disturbances to the space-time continuum, leading to unfortunate overlap between dimensions, and allowing for chaos to reign.
Like, the fuckin’ multiverse, man.
JOE BUCK: …get the football in the air.
TOM BRADY: Nooooooooooo…oh, wait. I misheard you.
OK, Miss; I think we can conclude this job interview. When can you start?
http://68.media.tumblr.com/7cdaae65f1cbcf73b58f04da7c13a915/tumblr_o8aer62kjO1ttk21ho1_r2_500.gif
http://declantyson.net/assets/uploads/2013-07-03/dangerzone.jpg
Wow, we’re not even waiting for the game today
why does this NEVAR happen in my boring ass legal career? Is it because I’m not one of the CA kool kidz??
So I guess no one read the joke….OK, great.
no, I mean…I’d give her the job too!! Wasn’t that teh joke??
OK, so you read it.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/c6c3f13285bb79c5a6b340e632af86ce/tumblr_ohbjbsnOOA1qg2n7mo1_500.jpg
I must know who she is
One thing I actually love about Twitter is that once that video of Richard Spencer getting punched got out, I could actually sense the moment where thousands of people thought, “Holy shit, I need to remix this!”
I am all about the Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure meme.
https://twitter.com/pmurt422/status/822592939243302914
I came
I’m partial to this one. Biggie Smalls forever.
https://twitter.com/ShafikFM/status/822965972067844101
I’ve watched so, so many of those remixes. I really want a remix where Kurt Angle’s theme song is being played and right where the neonazi gets punched, the “you suck” part is played
Hopefully this amuses some of you as much as it amuses me.
http://a5.img.talkingpointsmemo.com/image/upload/w_652/vsipu4oisfat0yukcioi.jpg
FAKE NEWS! FAKE NEWS!
But if you use alternative facts, it’s the MOSTEST. PERIOD.
It amuses me not because I care how many people show for the inauguration, but because so many pro-Trump folks are touchy about anything that remotely resembles criticism.
Inorite? You’d think they’d like touchy.
http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/2012/01/dismissive_wanking.gif
Dilettantes publicly making themselves feel better. Fuck that shit.
Wake me when liberals actually fucking do something.
Northwestern about to win at tOSU
Bye, Arch. Good luck in Columbus.
http://s10.postimg.org/3oscqu061/Dick_Jauron.jpg
Nearly broke my finger clicking the like button. Fucking Jauron.
Not with Tawwmy’s wife’s dick
This might be a little graphic for the “gore” standards of this sight, but I feel strongly that we have to be aware of human tragedy, conscious of it, to have it in our visceral range, otherwise we become blissfully unaware of the suffering of our fellow humans.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/c20f413514cb33ec646376e1244a60ba/tumblr_oja80wj6pX1vowy34o1_1280.jpg
“Wait, what?”
http://cdn.sportsoverdose.com/thumbs/frank-gore-21-nfl-20130415091922.jpg
I just HATE seeing perfectly good alkeehawl abused like that ,, smh
/so much glass, you can’t even lap it up with a straw
Turns on tv
sees clay matthews da TH3RD and his stupid ass beard
turns off tv
Buddy had a great Mike O’Cain callback downthread. He was a man, whilst at NC State, who simultaneously derailed BOTH Donovan McNabb Heisman campaigns, but also lost BOTH ends of a home-and-home to Baylor, back when they went 2-9 every year (you know, pre-rape culture and whatnot).
I believe one year, we beat Florida State, won AT Syracuse, but lost at home to BayBay and at Wake Forest, and finished like 6-5.
But for NCSU Football let downs, nothing will ever top CTC’s 9-0 start followed by the underwhelming skid to finish out. Jeebus….those last three weeks were brutal. But at least we did beat the fuck outta ND back when there was still a Gator Bowl proper.
HOME to Georgia Tech. 15 point favourites. 9 point 4th quarter lead with the ball. Of course, too good to be true.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/7cee0d470539cf95b901d57ae4517652/tumblr_n1kvmuPaE61qzfebyo1_500.jpg
Sorry, I didn’t recognize Tawmmy out of uniform.
Hey, Caitlin Jenner looks good.
You make a mold ONE time…smh
/dies
completely off topic, but I was surfing youtube last night, and found this gem:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUVDt4uNcZs
MEDICINAL MARIJUANA: Fact #127
Seriously…..with all the weed I’ve been smoking lately, all the coughing has got my abs back in primo shape, dude.
use that coughing to get Tussionex!!!
Ooooh, hey. Not a bad idea. I knew I kept you around for a reason.
I have a truly unique feature in my bathroom.
When the weather is bad – today is exceedingly bad – the runway directions at LAX are reversed which means I can watch planes touchdown with a perfect view while seated on the shitter.
I’m pretty sure I have the only bathroom view like it.
So did people who lived near Tri-State Airport 47 years ago.
In WHOO-HOO news: I just successfully traded tonight’s cooking shift with Thursday night!!!!!
/thanks Dean!
slaps, Dean on the ass, Hard
Dean subsequently kicks the shit out of brocky
It was worth it. Dean needed recognition of his hustle.
Patriots are set to make me regret that whole “I’d rather see another Pats dynasty than a single Cowboys playoff win” thing. Gonna be a long 4 years.
still hoping PIT was slow-playing it and/or got all their bumblefuckery out they system last week
/hope in one hand, shit in the other, see which gets full first
Ready as I’ll ever be. Let’s do this.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=jqnC54vbUbU
http://68.media.tumblr.com/7d30691653fe87a8a65dadc4b200178a/tumblr_o7jvesi5QR1sr5vsyo1_540.gif
Something something mechanic said “looks like you blew a seal,” and the redhead said “no, it’s just whipped cream.”
http://68.media.tumblr.com/a2860f8b40c92a75db674183d4dc0097/tumblr_o7fmvvhIB51r1k6d5o1_1280.jpg
That perked me right up.
Fondest Georgia Dome Memory – ’95 Peach Bowl win over Miss State.
Shittiest Georgia Dome Memory – Splitting headache from listening to cowbells for four hours.
Same Day.
And then the Mike O’Cain era sank faster than Artie Lange in a rowboat.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/449be8ecf04f9bca92fbbaf0406f70c5/tumblr_oa116iDx0R1vowy34o1_1280.jpg
Most girls aren’t considerate enough to personalize the bullseye for their target audience
You are not wrong.
What do you get when you combine a saber-tooth tiger with Aaron Rodgers?
The most uncomfortable blow job ever.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/81323da126fd3207c9a6e4e5f55629e0/tumblr_oa111eWbsQ1vowy34o1_400.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/eda0d603fdc2e4c2ed2371265fbde147/tumblr_o3t32fqLMI1qbogbgo1_500.jpg
Big Ben Burn like the clap
https://www.doorfliesopen.com/index.php/2017/01/21/a-completely-neutral-thorough-preview-of-the-afc-championship-game/comment-page-3/#comment-309404
“Scotchy has, for some strange reason, been locked out of Word Press…”
I believe that was the third executive order signed on the 20th.
Whoa whoa whoa, us Northerners do not have to answer to the orange guy. Do we?
He is cutting off influence by everyone but Russia.
Really cute lady behind me in the grocery store lineup. Buying Woodchuck cider FOAR teh footy contests. We were both annoyed by the ancient fat lady in front of us IN THE GODDAMNED EXPRESS LINE who bought like 30 items and was now redeeming like 12 coupon, some of which had expired and/or required explanations.
Alas…Pats fan. I didn’t even attempt small talk.
/plus, I was wearing workout clothes
//I mean, SO WAS SHE, but she didn’t look like a Tomsula cohort in hers
Hippo, ya need to axe her if cider is her preference, then say “Do you like dick jokes and friends that you have never met? Cool, hey let’s watch your cheaters lose together? Please tell me you aren’t a Scouser too…”
It was your moral duty to tell that old bitch to fuck off to the right line.
This is why Trump is President.
I have been known to loudly remark about “so glad I brought my FIVE ITEMS here” to the people behind me, or to say “yeah, thanks for appreciating what express means” (which is what I could have said to Woodchuck lady, in addition to complimenting her taste in cidery).
THAT SAID, the cashier could have invited old bitch into the line with her 30 items (I didn’t see that part) but the couponry would still excuse my bitching.
Also, if Pats lady were a scouser, surely she would have commented on me Everton baseball cap. Ran into a 70-year old fellow Toffee fan from Liverpool in fucking Myrtle Beach of all places who was blown away – “where’d ya get that fookin’ hat??”
/re-names (non-existent) band Tomasula Cohorts
//resumes practicing paradiddles
paradiddles are what? Barely legal twins?
It’s what Sandusky calls two new campers
A drumming rudiment you do on a practice pad: left, right, left, left
Right, left, right, right
They’re a pain in the ass.
The good news is she left her shopping cart in the middle of the parking lot before driving off.
I have actually turned down the cashier in the express lane when I have a full cart and have been told it’s OK.
I’ve got principles.
Headed to a party where the host is a chef! Also a packers fan, his best buddy is a chef! Also a Falcons fan. Just bought some Bulleit and will settle in for some good food and watching 2 angry chefs freak out!
Will there be hookers?
Pregnant Mrs. Cola, and the other wives, so sadly no. I hope it doesn’t turn in to a ‘keys party” as some of these broads have great personalities shall we say.
Just how broad are they? I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Oh I do too, it is the shovel faces I do not like. I am a large proponent of curvy women. Moose can attest to my adoration of curvy redheads due to my constant requests for posts.
Eventually. Right now they’re stuck with escorts.
http://global3.memecdn.com/Everything-is-fine_o_72267.jpg
Fucking finally!
/nods off at kickoff
To be fair to Goodell (and I feel a crippling wave of nausea just from typing those words), probably the very last thing he wants to do this year is to hand the Lombardi Trophy to Tom Brady. I’m pretty sure he will be the biggest freakin’ Steelers fan alive today.
Do you really think he would prefer to hand it to James Harrison?
I think Goodell would be fine with handing the trophy to THE BEN, and then fining Harrison $100k if he sets even one finger on the trophy.
Like Goodell isn’t blowing Brady, Belichik, and Kraft weekly
If you mute your TV during the game, close your eyes, and focus very intently, you can hear the static whisper “Roger Goodell is a national disgrace.”
Yep 1st here in the gym, showin real grit up here. I would welcome rain rather than brown half melted snow and a bleak cloud cover.
Apparently, the Maple Leafs mascot is called Carlton the Bear. Imagine my disappointment when I saw it was a polar bear and not an Alfonso Ribeiro impersonator with a ball gag.
I will be out all day making Buddy-esque jokes among friends. Be good people.
We’ll miss you. Have a good one!
http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/911/544/6ae.gif
we have to make do with ONE Buddy bear joke, with Aaron getting a spotlight dance. Gonna have to step up our collective game, Commentists!
/was a very good one we got, Buddy. Huzzah!