I’ve changed the title a bit, but we’re back with 25 questions. I want to keep it at 25 although I am totally tempted to include the following song in every post:
Today, we tackle the NFL Offseason and what people do to spend the time.
***
So, today I got a Groupon email. If you’ve ever used Groupon, I’m sure you have gotten these on a regular basis. Something caught my eye:
1- Why am I getting this email AFTER Valentine’s Day?
2- Has anyone ever gotten those 3 free DVDs from Adam and Eve?
3- They’re never any good, are they?
4- Would it kill them to include “Pirates”, “Pirates 2: Stagnetti’s Revenge”, or even one of the funnier XXX parodies?
5- Is it some kind of licensing deal that prevents that?
6- Why does everyone hate Evan Stone?
7- Isn’t Steven St. Croix the best porn name ever?
8- Assuming the girl in the picture above got the deal, what do you think is in the box?
9- Does the deal include gift-wrapping like that?
10- Would what she ordered fit in that box?
11- What does it say about America that all the other deals in the email showed 50 bought, 100 bought, 350 bought, and this one has over 25,000 bought?!?
12- Are we cheap bastards or just cheap perverts?
13- Have you ever ordered from Adam and Eve?
14- Was it quality stuff or did it break right away?
15- If it broke, did you have to go to the ER and then end up on that show “Sex Sent Me to the ER”?
16- My friend told me about one show she saw where two gorgeous blondes walk into the ER and then strip and the doctor calls for help because it turns out they have penises and he was not expecting that. How does that throw a doctor off?
17- Do you think the doc was jealous that their penises were bigger than his?
18- Can we call this doctor Dr. Roger Goodell?
19- Roger Goodell is one of the 25,000+ cheap bastards that bought the Groupon, isn’t he?
20- Do you think Roger Goodell is an expert on deflating inflatable women/men?
21- Why do girls paint their fingernails in different colors/patterns now?
22- Don’t you think it’s kind of distracting?
23- Does it bother anyone else when the color of the nails and feet don’t match?
24- Just me, then?
25- Do you think it bothers Rex or does he just “plow” right on through?
[…] case you were interested, no I did not buy the Groupon from last week. Now that I know that tWBS lives within miles of Adam and Eve HQ, there is no need. That will, […]
There were two Adam and Eve stores in Salem and I didn’t even find it odd. I kind of assumed it was based there. Never checked. Guess not unless tWBS lives there and I didn’t know.
6. Have you seen that greasy, grinning, ass-chinned bastard?
http://nerdreactor.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/sttngxxx_cast1.jpg
I need to find/watch this video…
Seems low:
http://www.techaddiction.ca/files/porn-addiction-statistics.jpg
http://33.media.tumblr.com/a5bc1af1e79c57ca84ddab18ae8ec5cc/tumblr_mw5p3d15mF1qap3owo1_500.gif
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKNnwLL991c
13- Have you ever ordered from Adam and Eve?
Don’t have to. Their headquarters (and huge walk in store…or so I’ve heard) are mere miles from my home. No shit.
balls, shall I bring you a care package when I visit? I might have some tense moments in airport security, but you’re worth it. :3
Clickbait article;
10 THINGS YOU WON’T REGRET STICKING UP YOUR BUUUUUUUUUUUUUTT.
“TSA Agent expected a normal day, but you won’t believe what they found when they checked tWBS’s luggage”
At that point, yelling “it was for balls!!!!” probably wouldn’t help my case, huh?
If you enjoy Pepper Spray and being Tased; Yes.
That is a troubling kink which is gaining popularity.
http://i.imgur.com/wN2uyv8.gif
Damnit.
http://images.askmen.com/recess/trending/nfl-super-bowl-2015-memes-and-gifs_1422890782.jpg
I’m not sure if she was exaggerating but a friend of mine said her vibrator turned on in her carry-on bag and the TSA guy and girl made her empty the bag.
tWBS in store, notices attractive sales clerk “CAN YOU PLEASE SHOW ME HOW TO USE THIS?!?!”
Artist conception:
http://www.cine365static.com/assets/img/peliculas/4427/extra/a7d3b-top.jpg
fucking classic.
The response I’d hoped for….
The response received….
http://cdn.smosh.com/sites/default/files/ftpuploads/bloguploads/laughing-gifs-how-couldyou.gif
Still better than the one I got.
http://mrwgifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/About-To-Puke-Reaction-Gif.gif
Really it was more like.
http://media.giphy.com/media/bLBIanKJW0Iuc/giphy.gif
She is hot even when throwing up a little from Moose creepiness.
That’s a tempting offer…
You will need the lube cart.
http://www.americanlube.com/images/TIM-730_l.jpg
Is that from the Adam & Eve commercial or professional catalog?
Both, Adam & Eve it is a special order.
http://25.media.tumblr.com/82439b5d6aa654b57754ec57b66c68a2/tumblr_milchfywo51ro8ysbo1_500.gif
“Keeping these studies in mind and the massive amount of free internet pornography available, let’s conservatively estimate the U.S. pornography industry at around $8 billion. Comparatively, this estimation would place the pornography industry at the same size as the $8 billion U.S. bottled water industry. Additionally, pornography would make as much as eBay expects customers to buy and sell in merchandise in 2012. Finally, the pornography industry would equal the amount of digital merchandise iTunes is on pace to sell in 2012.”
Sorry, that is old; it’s an even bigger business now, it’s changed to fit the times.
Twenty years ago the porn stores seemed to be mostly trench coat male dominated business model. From what I’ve seen most successful now cater to women with toys and lingerie.
Most of Adam and Eve’s products are from various manufacturers so research the source…. so I’ve heard.
For porn names; The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem is a sentimental favorite.
25. Rex doesn’t do anything as plebeian as “plow through.” He pussytubes like a stallion, then gets a goddamned snack.
http://akcdn.okccdn.com/blog/10charts/RoughSexOverTime.png
“I liked Aunt Peg.”
— Aaron Rodgers
Never watched the movies more than once.
The vibrator must have been of good quality because the girlfriend took it with her when we broke up.
Johnny Wadd was the best porn nickname ever.
something…something…her box.
Harry Reems was the best porn name.
8. Depends on what movies you watch. Se7en would suggest Gwyneth Paltrow’s head. UHF would lead you to suspect NOTHING! ABSOLUTELTY NOTHING! STUPPPAAAAD! YOUR SO STUPPPAAAAAD!
Is “nails and feet matching” today’s version of “carpet and drapes matching”? I’m way out of the loop.
Not you. I’m feeling like this is one of those social blind-alleys you wander down and then find out that there is a small but intensely serious fetish group associated with something somewhat mundane.
That was how I found out about “furries”. What the shit, humanity?
Some say violence isn’t the answer. When it comes to furries and 4o year olds into my little pony, violence is not the answer, it’s the fucking cure.
I will fight you to the death to defend a fucking pervert’s right to be a fucking pervert (assuming consensual pervertedness)….unless they are a Trump voter, then by all means, and I will start digging just to be helpful.
“Has anyone ever gotten those 3 free DVDs from Adam and Eve?”
The first one was Mitch McConnell jacking off in an Adirondack chair while watching his wife get rotisserie’d by two guys wearing Obama masks.
I didn’t watch the other two.
6. Who hates Evan Stone? IDENTIFY YOURSELVES AT ONCE! He was fantastic in Pirates!
7. Dick Rambone is the best porn name ever. NO ONE DENIES THIS!
http://i.perezhilton.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/dirk-diggler-teaser.gif