Your “YA BETTER SIGN SOMEBODDDYYY!!!” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

(A billion thanks to Low Commander for the photoshop)

Tomorrow afternoon is when things start to go nuts. So it’s pretty quiet today. A little too quiet. Lots of rumours, but why waste time on speculation?

CFL News:

  • rumoured for weeks but expected tomorrow (& confirmed by my source at the BC Lions), Vince Young is comin’ to the CFL!
    • The 2017 Vince Ferragamo experiment will be taking place in Regina this summer with the Green Riders.
    • his agent is Leigh Steinberg, who also represented Warren Moon and Ricky Williams when they played in the CFL.
      • “[H]e’s got a yearning to play more football.”

NFL News:

  • Brandon Marshall is staying in the Meadowlands, signing a two-year deal with the Giants.
    • as part of the arrangement, his demons will stay property of the Jets
  • Brice Butler has re-signed with the Cowboys.
  • Mike Glennon possibly getting $15 million has Aaron Rodgers looking for a new deal.
    • Because he’s due $13.65 million for 2017, and he ain’t Mike Glennon.
  • Vernon Davis has re-signed with Washington, a three-year deal (terms unannounced).
  • Tyrod Taylor has re-signed with the Bills.
  • Tony Romo will be cut tomorrow at 4:01PM.

Finally, I was unaware that they existed, yet it makes perfect #branding sense. ESPN had a story about “regional combines” run by the NFL where prospects pay $160 for the chance to work out in front of NFL scouts. Doing a modicum of research, they sound more organized than Dick Vermeil’s Philly open tryouts:

With 100% less Marky Mark.
  1. The National Football League launched the NFL Regional/Super Regional Combines program in 2012 to serve as a supplement to the League’s National Scouting Combine. They are designed to provide an opportunity for participants to display their pro potential.
  2. NFL Regional Combines are conducted specifically for persons eligible for the 2017 NFL draft that are not participating in the National Scouting Combine.
  3. NFL Regional Combines are not fantasy camps. Applicants must meet NFL eligibility rules and be able to perform at a high skill level. The NFL reserves the right, in its sole discretion, to reject any applicant it determines to be unqualified or unfit to compete.
  4. Participants’ measurements and Combine results, including video of their drills, are compiled and entered into a database accessible to all 32 NFL clubs. This data will be posted to the Regional Combines website after each event.

Stipulation #3 was bolded on their site, so shitheads like me can’t just walk in and demand to show off their punting skills. They probably also have hidden codicils about “non-refundable” fees, because Roger Goodell.

The NFL takes pains to point out that “at the conclusion of the 2016-2017 season the NFL Has (28) 2016 NFL Regional Combines Players on NFL Rosters; 96 in total from 2012-2016 Regional Combines.”  But still,


Would you like some nightmare fuel? Well, someone clearly tired of watching reruns at Grandma’ s took the laugh track out of a “Big Bang Theory” scene and replaced it with Ricky Gervais. The result is something (even more?) startlingly unfunny:

I guess that was their point. **Don’t show this to Mom**


Finally, Happy International Women’s Day!

      

 

      


Tonight’s sports: so much non-football action!

  • NHL:
    • Red Wings at Bruins – 8:00PM | NBCSN
    • Penguins at Jets – 8:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Senators at Stars – 8:00PM | Sportsnet360
  • NBA:
    • Pistons at Pacers – 8:00PM | ESPN
    • Raptors at Pelicans – 8:00PM | Sportsnet1
    • Celtics at Warriors – 10:30PM | ESPN / Sportsnet1
  • NCAA tournaments:
    • Big 12:
      • Oklahoma vs. TCU – 7:00PM | ESPNU
      • Texas vs. Texas Tech – 9:00PM | ESPNU
    • Big East:
      • Georgetown vs. St. John’s – 7:00PM | FS1
      • DePaul vs. Xavier – 9:30PM | FS1
    • ACC:
      • Wake Forest vs. Virginia Tech – 7:00PM | ESPN2
      • Pittsburgh vs. Virginia – 9:00PM | ESPN2

Plus, there’s a new “Sunny” tonight:

Dennis reveals he has a baby from his Wade Boggs layover in North Dakota, and everyone offers a solution for how to get him out of this jam.

Tomorrow will have an afternoon “Free Agency Open Thread” starting at 3:30 ET/12:30 PT, to accommodate the signing window opening at 4:00/1:00, so we can all rave/rant at the money & players being moved about.

ALL SMART MOVES!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

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Wakezilla

comment image:large

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Wise words. This is why #berniewouldvewon

blackroseMD1

Hi guys! I was not going to drink today and then Danny Woodhead went to Baltimore on vacation or something and now I’m 9 Stones deep.

At least PFTC is happy, I guess. FML

JerBear50
JerBear50

Woodhead to Baltimore rumors? I don’t know– sounds to me like a lot of bunk.
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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

… And pantless

blackroseMD1

Yeah, that’s pretty much a given.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Just checking. There are some weirdos around here with jobs and responsibilities and shit who don’t.

blackroseMD1

One of the great things about running my own business from my home is that every day can be No Pants Day in the office.

Wakezilla

Not sure if Baltimore could handle all that grit

Wakezilla

Happy International Women’s Day

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

My first twitter block! I pointed out that this woman (a professional writer) didn’t know the difference between “inferred” and “implied” and she blocked me.

https://twitter.com/EmmaKennedy

Senor Weaselo

Congrats! Wait, that’s to be congratulated, right?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

She seems pleasant.

Wakezilla

I was introduced to “Woke” twitter about a month ago. It was awful.

Senor Weaselo

What the fuck show is this, Hacking the Wild?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Shit. I missed all the commenting.

Senor Weaselo

You got a good Jesus-themed song?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Senor Weaselo

Jesus saves… rebound by Gretzky, SCORES!

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Tonight, I’m supposed to meet my roommate’s out of town love interest, who she was suddenly lukewarm about before his arrival on Tuesday. What level of sobriety do I need to be for this? Because if it’s less than “kinda…”

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Senor Weaselo

Depends on how much of a damn you give about your roommate.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

She’s a close friend, nothing more. The guy has never seemed like good news, but I don’t want to have any part of the blame if it doesn’t work out.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I wouldn’t treat it differently than any other weeknight.

JerBear50
JerBear50

Senor Weaselo

All the Jesus songs and we’re forgetting the best one.

Horatio Cornblower

Lotta chatter in the poker room tonight. Pretty sure I’m playing with the corpses of Hippo, Litre-cola and sharkbait

BrettFavresColonoscopy

My corpse feels disrespected

Romonobyl

Fuck yeah Spurs! 10pt win after 28pt deficit. And if you haven’t seen any Spurs HEB grocery store commercials you don’t know what your missing.
That is all, do carry on…

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Serious question: Did the Dolphins make the playoffs? I honestly cannot remember.

WCS

Stillers beat them in the Wild Card game, 30-17.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[raises glass]

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

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Yes.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

In GOOGLE-BINGING a gif for this response, “ryan tannehill wife” came up before “ryan tannehill,” and this amused me greatly.

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Horatio Cornblower

$10 the Smales kid eats it.

Romonobyl

Well. Flipper warned the townsfolk about Timmy in the well…
Oh fuck it, that was Lassie.

Wakezilla

Did they really make the playoffs if they didn’t show up for the game?

Shogun Marcus

Make my music so my lovely ho’s.

Shogun Marcus