NFL notes:
- In a statement that strains both human credibility and the “bullshit” test, Roger Goodell says “my friendship with Robert [Kraft] was never strained.”
- He says he still plans to attend the Patriots season opener in September.
- Learning a new meaning for the term “veteran talent”, Jets fans have found out their team has signed former Bears WR Marquess Wilson.
- ¡Hola Crimebeat! Lawrence Taylor has pleaded guilty to DUI.
- He got probation, a fine, community service and an ignition device.
- Shockingly, the substance was alcohol. I would have guessed cocaine and/or peyote.
- Warren Sapp says he suffers from memory loss, and will donate his brain to science upon death. Someone ghost wrote a very touching post at The Players Tribune about it for him.
- That’s why he doesn’t remember hiring any hookers. It’s also probably why he keeps going broke.
- Beastmode is really doing the Oakland thing right. He’s offering free haircuts to kids who show him a report card with a minimum 3.0 GPA.
Cool thing about @MoneyLynch: Kids can bring good report cards to his BeastMode store in Oakland, get free haircut! pic.twitter.com/Ca5WUpXHEQ
— Jarrett Bell (@JarrettBell) June 15, 2017
Finally, in a post I’m 100% sure is related to June being Pride month, former Patriot & Chief Ryan O’Callaghan has announced he is gay.
- In a lengthy article for SB Nation’s Outsports site, he called football his “beard”, because its physicality and his size would provide the perfect cover for a kid who wasn’t comfortable in his own skin.
- In college, he let his body ‘dad bod’ a bit so he wouldn’t look like a gay stereotype, and he would always make sure his teammates saw him leave the bar or party with a girl.
- He said he always intended to kill himself once his career ended.
- But after completing IR & therapy with the Chiefs, before being released he came out to Scott Pioli, who gave him a resounding “who cares?”, which set his mind at ease about admitting that fact to others, and led him to change his mind about suicide.
- In a note that’s sure to fan the flames of ‘those’ rumours, he was part of the line blocking for Aaron Rodgers at Cal.
Having worked in alternative & adult education for 20 years, reading the parts about how he covered his secret brought back memories of kids who trusted me enough to come out to me, as well as kids who chose different paths rather than admit the secret that was eating them alive. Scott Pioli handled it best – just listen and remember that the person across the table is trusting you with their vulnerability. It’s a kind of rare privilege.
Forgive my enthusiasm, but it’s Opening Night at the Nat tonight, so yours truly will be off doing the Lord’s work – selling beer in the stands.
Fortunately, beer prices are still $7.00, so it guarantees a tip almost every beer. Plus, I don’t have to carry quarters, which are a pain in the ass. Nooners are the best, because it brings out the bikinis and the corporate accounts. But it’s a delightful three-hour stairmaster, usually $80-100 per night, and it’s the only summer job I have this year.
Tonight’s sports:
- Beisbol:
- MLB:
- Blue Jays at Rangers – 8:00PM | Sportsnet
- Mets at Dodgers – 10:00PM | ESPN / TSN
- NCAA:
- Florida vs. Louisville – 7:00PM | ESPN
- MLB:
- WWE:
- Smackdown – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
- 30for30
- Best of Enemies: Celtics-Lakers – Parts 2&3 – 7:00PM | TSN2
Coming home tonight smelling like sweat & beer? LOOK OUT ROADBLOCK!
So…… apparently the feet are not the only thing that is big.
I could go for a burger.
Taking the light right out of their eyes.
Is that lavender?
No, that’s Miss Tina Louise
When do we get to go to the beach?
I don’t like the way they cover their jugs all up with the feathers, you know, Reg?
They oughta cut the costumes up higher on the thigh, so you can see more ass.
Oh my
Have we started making fun of the Ice Raiders yet? Or at least how bad the uni is?
DOOOOOOOOOOMED
(On top of everything else, the days will be getting shorter for six months starting tomorrow)
Not one of the Caped Crusader’s prouder moments…
Dogs are the bane of Batman’s existence.
Dogbane (Apocynum cannabinum)
/NERD!!!!!!!
//blames Toxicology Class…soooo many poisonous plants to remember!!!!!!
*May be an AFL joke.
That would explain it, Bane being part-dog.
HER PANTIES WERE SOOOOOO WET FOR ME!
Honey!!! I don’t think we need to be so worried about paying for college after all!!!!!
“LOOKIE!! CANDY BARS!!”
still wantid it more than Cam in the Superbowl smh #MAGA
Speaking of trains, here’s the restored Union Pacific 3985 Challenger on a full throttle run in September 2010
UP 3985 is the largest, heaviest, and most powerful steam locomotive in operation.
UP 4014, currently being restored, is even bigger.
That locomotive is on coke, man.
COKE-AMOTIVE
Lawrence Taylor gives this comment two spoons up….. as do I (mine are more ice cream type tho)
They’re doing a live Futurama episode now apparently, so I’m gonna watch that.
So, to Blax and other Arizonians, what does 120° feel like?
And is it still a dry heat?
Also, yes.
(and no matter how hot it ever got I still preferred it to the humidity in the here and now in the lovely southeast)
I worked in a mill where it would hit 120 AND have humidity. Drank gallons of water, never had to pee. As long as you can keep hydrated it’s doable. Unpleasant, but doable.
A friend had a summer job working behind an asphalt road machine on Nebraska highways, kinda similar in approach……jesus, what a fucking job.
it was 94 here today….. way more pleasant than 76 in Houston…. aside from being Houston.
Fortunately it rarely gets quite that high.
100 is actually not bad.
110 is getting uncomfortable but manageable
115 is duck inside quickly
120 is raid the neighbors’ pool because your A/C will be out imminently and you’re last on the list for repair and you’re going to die
My neighborhood is getting irrigation right now so it’s about 5 degrees cooler but humid.
The 120 isn’t really the noticeable thing right now though; it’s that the low is 94. It just never cools. I can shrug it off because I work in an office and drive an AC car but I can tell you that the construction workers are getting wiped out fast. It’s our longest days (in daylight) of the year but guys can’t last beyond 2p, if you’re lucky. So I guess 120 vs 110 wears them out quicker but you’re basically just talking heat on overdrive.
That said, it’s basically our winter (except nothing fun to watch on TV). Wife and I are tossing stuff out and gonna finally redo one of our bedrooms. I’m catching up on reading that I put down in march because I was always out doing something in the nice weather. It’s just a bitch to cook – YeahRight bitches about turning on the oven…
I’m also typing this from my back porch where I’m sweating just sitting here
Evening, gents. Cooking a late dinner and trying to restrain myself from drinking all the whisky in the wake of Handel winning.
There are more people wtching the Cards/Phillies game in my house than there are at the stadium.
My eyelids got heavy reading that
Rockabye Gratliff… stepping out of the box
When the wind blows…it’s a visit to the mound
When the bough breaks…it’s another pitching change
And down will come Gratliff…after extra innings
2/10 Doesn’t Rhyme.
Ah, sweet dreams of backpage articles titled “Phillies lose again”
Holy fuck. 8-1 in the 11th.
Those are covert ads for weed & hooker deals, right?
What’s it take to sling beers at a ball game? I mean, do I gotta commit to every game, I assume?
Commit to about 75% of all games. In a short-season league like the NWL, its 30 of 38 games.
Beerguyrob; well said. When I was in JH and high school ‘fag” was about the biggest insult. I was dense to it at the time, but looking back on it there were people that were miserable to the nth degree and people who were violent and aggressive to overcompensate, avoid admitting it to themselves. tl;dr: people are fucking assholes to each other.
Lawrence Taylor is not an introspective guy; he would not like peyote in the least,
Less than 24 hours until we can start specifically making fun of Las Vegas as a hockey team!
White gloves?.?? We can begin now.
Wait, we hadn’t?
Ossoff may be facing a hilariously awful defeat at the hands of the head bomb from Total Recall, but Dems have to be pleased with the moral victory that he hasn’t been caught shitting on a cat yet.
It was be really surprising if he got beat big since polling has suggested it’s basically a tie, but it would be funny to see the Dems eat shit after spurning other winnable races.
On the other hand, fuck Karen Handel.
He’s down 5% right now.
That’s not getting beat big.
It may just be me overestimating Georgia, but I feel like a maladjusted ferret would do better against “I don’t support a livable wage” and “Gays can’t adopt because Jesus”
Ossoff ran a bland campaign because he’s a bland candidate. Maybe this will convince the Dems to run someone who believes in something.
I don’t think you know what Maybe means.
Or you just don’t have a grasp of what the Dems are.
Maybe…?
Gotta admit; the republicans believe strongly in things……… things that don’t exist.
I would actually say Democrats believe in some very specific things: incremental institutional change, identity politics, free markets that will for some reason just be nice to people.
They keep coming back to thinking their problem is marketing–that if they just say the right things people will buy what they’re selling–but the problem is they’re selling a product most Americans do not want.
The republicans sold their voters on completely unbelievable, incredulous simpleton slogans, While we are generalizing here, people don’t want to hear or think about things in any in depth way, the majority votes on emotions and impressions. It IS marketing. Unfortunately nothing will get fixed that way.
Jeremy Corbyn would like a word.
Which US redstate election did he win? Maybe I’m not keeping up.
Although I wish he did.
Trump gonna win 2020 by promising to legalize the Get Out surgery.
Free pigeons for those under the poverty line; they just have to catch them.
Honestly, I don’t have any problems with Ossoff. It just reeks of the typical stubborn centrist Dem bullshit, especially after they left the others twisting in the wind and bragged about moral victories.
You are overestimating Georgia; even in the urban areas.
Who asks a woman for her opinion?
So, I was chewing on some gummy bears until I heard a crunch. Thinking that was really weird, I spat out my gummy bears. My freaking filling fell apart, so I ended up getting my tooth refilled. Now my jaw hurts like hell and I’m starving.
Gummy bears were your dinner? Good hustle.
Did you have some Glengoolie Blue with it?
The Nat is an enjoyable place to go watch beisbal. I’ve gone to watch games there and worked summers there. Food is cheap and reasonably tasty. Rob is absolutely right about the bikini tops and skimpy clothing (God bless Vancouver for being superficial!).
My alltime favorite customer story while working at the Nat:
This tight bodied and gorgeous Asian in her early to mid 20s, drunk off of Mikes Hard Lemonade, looked at her equally attractive brunette friend she was with, stroke her arm and said “you’re hot, you should masterbate more often” right when her friend was about to order some food.
/knows this sounds made up, but swears it’s real.
Dear Penthouse Forum,
I know you get letters from guys selling cotton candy at ballparks all the time so, you think, how could this happen to me but it did. Now here’s the story….
Maximum Effort!
?w=768
Evening lizard people. After weddings on Sunday and Monday I think I’m in my right to sit on the couch and do absolutely fuck-all. How bout you?
Weddings on Sunday and Monday. You say you live in “New York” do you mean Provo?
They’re Orthodox Jewish, so… close enough?
Ewwww, weddings! My saving grace to attending those was finding the closeted guy among the groomsmen!
Person: OK guys, on three.
Dog#1: Fuck three….and fuck you too.
There’s a lot going on here.
Actual conversation I had with the supervisor of these electricians I am training…
Me: So…how do you think the training is going?
Customer: On a scale of one to ten….okay I guess.
Me: Umm….that isn’t a number…
Oh and Rob, everyone loves a nooner at the Nat.
I remember in the mid-2000s VH1 had all these cunty lists from Spin Magazine and the like about the worst songs of all-time. This was on the list, and fuck them, I like it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iKKONgfNONU
Song of summer … 1996, I think.
I was but a wee lad in 1996, but that was the summer of “Macarena”
What kind of monsters hate this song??? And video.
Well, come on. Their spat was trivial, especially compared to their mutual ejaculatory glee at being able to fulfill their lifelong dreams and purposes in life to fuck over labor, the viewing public, the law, the people of New England, and all while making assloads of money.
Baseball bikinis. Only in Canada!!
Seriously, try that in the states and the poor girls will get asked to cover up. Americans are such prudish assholes…