Baking with Litre II

litre_cola

litre_cola

Loves to use the letter U behind O. Iggles fan, Fulham FC supporter. Bartend as a hobby in Canadia.
litre_cola

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This is round 2 for baking posts on a Saturday morning with what to make when you are about to get stoned, or are stoned, or want to get stoned. Or just like some damn good dessert!

Note – I have a medical card for a back injury so this is all legal on my end. Hell, the only way you can get it legally in my province is to your door by post as their are no dispensaries.

A little bit of a twist this week as my wife led me in to this one and then she sent me a recipe she thought I could do for this here site. Normally I would use cannabutter in a recipe as I prefer the effects more than smoking/vapoUrizing but as it was her idea I am making this one au naturel. I know what is coming so I am about to enjoy “Sun-grown Yorkshire” from Tweed farms, and it has a THC of 17.1% and no CBD. I am currently out of my CBD stuff but the order is in and it should be in the mail as we speak! I explained the difference a wee bit in post 1 but I forget whether I linked info or not. I chose this as the first step because the next one is fucking monotonous as hell but the results are far better for doing it the hard way.



I try the best that I can up here in Canadia to eat vegetables and fruit seasonally. I am not an organic hippie by any means, I think it is a rip off, but I try to eat as close to home as possible. In our city we have a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) that delivers vegetables and fruit from local farmers into the city, you just have to pick them up every week. It is a great way to have all this produce as you are forced to cook a bunch of different things. Except mushrooms, fuck mushrooms. It is cherry season! I love cherries…. and in Alberta we get most of our fruit from the Okanagan Valley in British Columbia. Also home to some great wineries that go unknown due to some messed up laws, there are enough lawyers on our DFO legal team to figure this out I reckon.

Note: I live in Alberta, hence the stupidness of the laws for getting wine from BC.

Alright DFOErs, today we are baking:

Cherry & Chocolate Cheesecake Pie/Gallette.

Pie part.

 

  • 2 teaspoons sugar

Dough Part.

 

*********Now what I would normally do is put in half the amount of butter in the pastry dough as cannabutter. In fact I have never made weed pastry before, it seems like a good idea, but the dosage would have to be really low because pie is delicious so adjust accordingly. There is nothing worse than making edibles that are too strong because then you end up in a Youtube hole watching this.

As I said it is Cherry season, so I am going to pit about 30 cherries by hand, after I take my medicine.

That truly was monotonus and mind numbing but I have a nice buzz so I have that going for me.

It takes longer to do this when you eat half of them!

We’re going to make the pastry dough 1st. Mrs. Cola has the fancy YeahRight mixer so I am using that and it is definitely worth the money if you make a lot of food form scratch. Mix the sugar, flour, and salt 1st in said mixer. Then cube up some cold butter and throw it in and beat it until the pages stick together and it is a pebbly mixture. Butter and eggs have to be cold or so I have been told. Then wrap this up and put it in the fridge for an hour.

Next is the cream cheese goodness, I love cheesecake and with the 1st two of these posts I am sure you have noticed. Room temperature cream cheese with sugar, vanilla, and egg yolk. Be a hero and do not buy the yolk carton, that is weak and you should be ashamed of your laziness, plus you need the egg white later. Beat those ingredients until they are smooooth. (Really sorry). The put the bowl in the fridge for an hour.

In your bowl of cherries toss 2 teaspoons of sugar, some lemon juice and that Grand Marnier then put that in the fridge and take a break, you deserve it.

Hour passes, I am back from the balcony, it is hot here people and the oven being on is not going to help!

Roll out your dough so that it is 12′ in diameter, put this on parchment paper on an upside down pizza tray. Heat up the oven to 375, and put another pizza sheet or cookie sheet or flat piece of metal you bought off of Tomsula in the Topeka rail yard into the oven in the middle to warm her up like an oil drum at the ole rail yard in…. nevermind. Now spread the cream cheese mixture in the middle of the dough leaving a couple of inches around because we be folding. Sprinkle the chocolate chips on the cream cheese then put the cherry mixture on top of that. Fold in the crust so it surrounds the outside of the filling. Brush the crust with the egg white you had saved and then put it all in the fridge for 15 mins. Take a break, you deserve it.

“That is a lot of cherries” – M. Sanchez

Put the pastry and the parchment paper on the warmed tray in the oven until the crust is golden about 40 minutes, a little bit more if you are at a higher altitude physically. I am so for folks at a higher altitude I did another 5 minutes. Take a break, you deserve it.

If you don’t know who the real Chopper is then do some research. This skit makes me laugh my ass off, Ronnie Johns is just perfect. I once met Chopper Read in Port Douglas, Australia and it was hot as balls in the tropics and here he was drinking hot chocolate. The rumoUr is true he indeed has no ears from lopping them off himself in the big house.

Baked, I need to work on my folding the crust in.

Let this cool for half an hour, it will be worth it in the end.

Holy shit this was fantastic. Taking the pits out of the fresh cherries was definitely worth the time and the effort. This was one of the best munchie concoctions I have ever put together. The chocolate and the cherries have a strong enough taste that if you were to make the crust with cannabutter the taste would be affected minimally.

 

To note, I at 3/4 of this in a day and a half.

 

litre_cola
litre_cola
A pugs best friend. Wine drinker. Loves to use the letter U behind O. Iggles fan, Fulham FC supporter. Bartend as a hobby in Canadia. One of the resident futbol freaks at the clubhouse

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Romonobyl
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I can’t tell the difference.

scotchnaut
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The water makes you pee. The beer makes you sad.

Romonobyl
Member

Heat is a way of life in my community. We don’t call the electric bill the “light” bill like most of American society, here we say “I can’t believe how high my July A/C bill was”. Lights are optional, phase-change cooling is not.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Y’ALL REEEEEEADY TO MAKE SOME NOOOOOOISE?!?

Brick Meathook
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Brick Meathook

This photo raises more questions than it answers.

laserguru
Member

Human beings are, at their most basic, creatures with a survival first mindset. Not to mention there are a great many undereducated amongst them. One of the things you have to deal with living in a beach community is being swarmed by them when the weather gets hot.
Today is our hottest day so far, 85 degrees and 80% humidity. It’s 108 inland, so like a bunch of creatures trying to survive this huge mass of fucking humanity from the inland areas simply drives – blindly in many cases – to the beach to cool off.
There have been no plans made, no logistics taking into account it’s just “Fuck it, let’s go to the beach. We can get beer and ice and snacks when we get there.”

Well guess what? About 2 million other fucking bodies are doing the same fucking thing. And just because you’re not from around here doesn’t mean that things like common courtesy, common logic and little things like, you know, the fucking laws don’t apply.

This is why locals stay at home during the summer, especially on weekends.
Buncha fucking lemmings.

King Hippo
Member

Life wouldn’t be so bad if not for all the goddamned ppl

laserguru
Member

A- fucking – men Brother Hippo!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You mean they didn’t even get opiates before they left??!?!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury
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No Rex joke???

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

It was 80+ on the thermometer in my kitchen window, and ballsweat% humidity today. I am just hiding in front of my fan with the AC on hoping no one makes me go outside.

laserguru
Member

I knew it was time to turn on the ac when I started sweating while using the fucking TV remote!

scotchnaut
Member

Lower back problems in soccer players tend to manifest themselves towards the end of tightly-contested games.

In case yer wandering, yeah, I did the syence.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Opiates for Scotch.

laserguru
Member

Gyros and hummus and falafal oh my!
That was quite tasty and now I’m going to make some Moscow mules.

scotchnaut
Member

Noriega must be so proud right now…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The CIA would like you to remove this comment.

scotchnaut
Member

“Apropos ”

As an adverb it means “unrelated to any previous act or comment”

As an adjective it means “very appropriate to a particular situation”

“Apropos” is very obviously a double agent planted in our the English language by the KGB during the Cold War.

DO NOT TRUST THIS WORD UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

People just kept using it wrong until its antonym became its synonym. Like moot.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I enjoy when people say “That is a mute point.”

Then I get a quizzical look when I answer “Well, I still heard it.”

NOUN

1.an assembly held for debate, especially in Anglo-Saxon and medieval times.

2.a mock trial set up to examine a hypothetical case as an academic exercise.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

That is like the 3rd/4th dictionary definition when you search. And the only one to only cite the correct version.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It is just the noun. The MW is:

Definition of moot

1a : open to question, debatable
b : subjected to discussion, disputed
2: deprived of practical significance :
made abstract or purely academic

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Member
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

So definition 1: Open to discussion
Definition 2: Purely academic and already known.
The second of which is only a definition now because people are stupid and the dictionary now puts what idiots repeat as official words. And most of them are saying mute instead of moot.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I don’t think it is that simple; it is an auto-antonym or autantonym

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Whatever. the point is moot.

<3

/ Am giving that a read though

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

*mute

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

No fair cleaning your post up after I replied. I still am right.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I got rid of the extra line breaks, detective.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Is “Apropos of nothing” a phrase that is through the looking glass???

scotchnaut
Member

“I’m still trying to figure out the Cheshire Cat’s smile. I ain’t got time for that.”

-Alice

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
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Brick Meathook

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King Hippo
Member

Tom knows wazzup

scotchnaut
Member

Perhaps it’s a Canadia thing but something that was considered to be of exceptional quality back in the day was called ‘the cat’s ass’.

/no one says it anymore
//[sigh]

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut
Member

As far as I’m concerned, you committed porn right there.

MODERATOR!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You should have seen what I went through to get to that; apparently a lot of cat sexual anthropomorphism is out on de webs.

()*()

scotchnaut
Member

I. can’t. stop. laughing.

/seriously, 3 minutes at least

The thought of you combing over tons of god-awful images that might make your skin crawl so that you could post that. I’m still laughing as I type this.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Keep in mind; gifs….. in this instance gifs are worse. I didn’t know it was that prevalent. It’s enough to kill most of the boners.

King Hippo
Member

ah still say it, so tis alive and well in the South

scotchnaut
Member

You’re the greatest, Hippo.

Brick Meathook
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Brick Meathook

You mean “the bee’s knees”

Brick Meathook
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Brick Meathook

I decided to become a drug addict this week, so I found this post very helpful.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

This post made you go get an opioid prescription?

Brick Meathook
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Brick Meathook

It made me think about homemade cherry pie.

theeWeeBabySeamus
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I can’t believe no one did this yet anyway….

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

OK that IS addicting…… in both forms.

King Hippo
Member

once u pop, u just can’t stop!!

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

And he’s not even our official gateway blogger!

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Davis Love III is still a huge arrogant piss head.

That is all.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

RYE BEER DRINKERS NEED TO GO BACK WHERE THEY CAME FROM.

scotchnaut
Member

HYDRATION BREAK!

-sponsored by the Houston 500

[does google search]

“Wait a second-that’s not a NASCAR event!”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut
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I ASKED FOR WATER! [thinks for a sec] ahh…got it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Said no NASCAR fan ever, maybe.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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theeWeeBabySeamus
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Now, Marinovich believes he has actually recovered from his addiction after he was arrested last year walking naked around someone’s backyard.

Yep, sounds clean to me.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Nothing wrong about walking naked around someone’s backyard; YOU JUST CAN’T GET ARRESTED FOR IT.
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scotchnaut
Member

“Todd has come a long, long way, believe you me. He didn’t even bother to bring me with him this time. He really deserves another chance.”

-Marinovich’s loaded gun

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

PORTER DRINKERS ARE JUST FOOLING THEMSELVES!

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

/drinking an oatmeal porter as we speak…errrr type
//now feels foolish, but doesn’t know why

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

BELGIAN WIT DRINKERS HAVE LOST THEIRS!

scotchnaut
Member

not the team I’m cheering for-

scotchnaut
Member

Is there a thready-thread-thread for a certain CONCACAF showdown?

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

Since when does French Guiana field a team? I thought they, Suriname, and Guyana were the red-headed ginger step-children of South America that everyone pretended didn’t exist?

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

And how the fuck is French Guiana in CONCACAF instead of CONMEBOL? Is that the equivalent of making them live in the basement away from the public?

Senor Weaselo
Member

“I’m a big boy!” -CONCACAF

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
scotchnaut
Member

Way too many many IPA’s rewarded as far as I’m concerned.

[waits]

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

PILSNER DRINKERS ARE A FUCKING SPACE CULT!!

Congratulations on IPAtrolling me; good job.

“Meh, that’s easy.”

-Bakery and meat counter people at the Whole Foods by my work place.

https://beerconnoisseur.com/articles/2016-top-selling-craft-beer-styles-us
Not influenced, but this makes me like it a bit less, shows that breweries are making them way milder.

ArmedandHammered
Member
ArmedandHammered

My wife and I loved the Okanagan valley, the wineries are fantastic almost all have great restaurants. We were there during cherry season as well and I think I are more cherries in that week than I have for the rest of my life. Must be something about the climate for cherries being really good for grapes as Lake Chelan in WA state has great wineries and grows a lot of cherries.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

Cracking an egg and finding a double yolk is good luck, right?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

If the farm is downstream from the chemical plant, maybe not so much.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Not for the potential twin chickens you just ate.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, they would have just turned out to be low level street thug chicken with no potential….. too lazy to even cross the road.

King Hippo
Member

obligatory smgdh

/probably sexting on they free Obamaphones all day to

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Seriously; well done.

laserguru
Member

Headband is a pretty delightful strain to dabble around with. The home delivery thing you have is fucking epic though.

King Hippo
Member

As an aside, I am on page 18 of Drew’s new book and it is already fucking bananas. Dude can fucking write!

/even if Deadspin is hackneyed garbage now

laserguru
Member

I thoroughly enjoyed it. I’ve got the hard back edition and I’m going to have him sign it for me on Monday. I’ve already got a signed “Men with Balls.”

King Hippo
Member

I bought “Men With Balls” hard cover too! Twas pretty hilarious, but this is next level. Captures the inner trapped middle-aged Dad feels pretty aptly already (even if one loves their family).

laserguru
Member

He definitely has a dad vibe going. He’s doing a book reading right down the street in Manhattan Beach. I’ve been trying to meet the guy for years and he’s coming to my own hood.
There may be drunken frivolity.

Shogun Marcus
Member

Postmortal was excellent too. I will get around to The Ride soon. His kindle single The Rover was a quick fun read.

King Hippo
Member

you are a bad motherfucker, Litre!

Also, totes right that organic is a ripoff (mostly), but simple ingredients and buying local (within reason) are not. That’s sustainable and healthy.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

/Considers nuanced argument about the nuances, pluses, and in practice minuses of organic farming.
//Fuck it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

About 40% of food in the US is wasted along the food chain; mostly because stores and restaurants are under pressure to have everything all the time. Most of which goes to landfills. The local and seasonal argument is right on.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

/throws out strawberries he forgot in the fridge.

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

So, if you eat the whole fucking thing as it looks fucking delicious, how insanely high are you going to get?

What would be the proper dosage?

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

There is nothing worse than making edibles that are too strong because then you end up in a Youtube hole watching this.

Or you end up ON youtube, if your asshole friends have their camera handy.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

I try the best that I can up here in Canadia to eat vegetables and fruit seasonally.

As I read this I am munching on a peach that we pilfered from a tree down the street. My wife and I like to call ourselves the “fruit bandits” cause we collect fruit in the neighborhood while walking the dog.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

As far as permissions go we’re basically honey-badgering it. One person has told us to take as many limes as we like, anytime (they have a very prolific tree and if they left a bucket out I would happily tidy up fallen ones as payment for the ones we pick). We haven’t encountered anyone else who seems to care one way or the other.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

Let me think about what’s out there…plenty of limes, plenty of lemons (Meyer lemons are out of season, though), avocados (hard to get cause you can’t reach the ones in the tree and have to find them when they fall), oranges (don’t even have to leave home for those) tangerines (out of season), peaches (small but very much IN season), nectarines (only last for a week or so and then the owner picks them ALL probably cause they don’t want to have to clean them off the ground), persimmons, pomegranates…that’s about it. We should probably figure out where the grapefruit is at.

King Hippo
Member

u just stealing from God, if’n he don’t like it he strike u ded imo