[blatantly ignores the long days and nights since the Super Bowl] Wow! It seems like just yesterday that I was watching relevant football being played and here we are again. The good folks of Canton, Ohio might just see a game in their backyard for the first time in two frickin’ years unless it gets aborted once again. Ye olde NFL and assorted hangers-on wouldn’t do that again, would they? Nah, they’ve had a year to prepare…just like the year previous. To The Game!
Dallas @ Arizona: Don’t kid yourself, home field advantage is crucial in a game of this (lack of) caliber and the Cards hold all the cards. When Carson Palmer doesn’t throw to Fitz who is not being covered by Scandrick, you’ll see why it’s self-evident. On the other side of the ball you can expect that a not-dressed RB Elliott will not pound the rock between the tackles, not wearing down… some Cards defender not named, uh, Patrick Peterson? What I’m trying to get at is that no one of starting quality will be playing this doozy of a tilt. No. One.
So where do we go from here? Oh, we’re going straight to Gabbertville and then heading over to undrafted rook Knighttown with a stop in Kellen Moore Corner along the way. Perhaps we’ll get a glimpse of a Taco Charlton stand at some intersection. The latest tight end that once played basketball-Rico Gathers-is expected to get some reps. These are some slim pickings for sure. But they are all dressed in bonafide NFL uniforms so it matters. As long as we’re wearing our respective drinking/pilling gear it’s all good.
LET’S DO THIS!
I hope Dreamboat got shingles for his birthday.
on his wee-wee and/or butthole
I was at the deli and there was something on the teevee about how P*t’s fans are up in arms about a wax statue of Dreamboat? WTF? And they were calling it irritategate….yargh
Something tells me that at some point in his past Jim Tomsula has had a job selling roofing products.
Shingles is terrible and I totally endorse this because he deserves the unbearable pain that it causes.
THE FLOW will NAWT be stopped. Like an Old English 800 seal-breaker.
Lost the stream for like 10 minutes and I swear to god…it took me like 9 minutes to notice.
Who are these Cowboys third-stringers who are making Blaine Gabbert look so good? Is it Make-A-Wish day?
That glimmer of false hope in the eye of every Metro area Redacteds fan would be glorious tomorrow morning, if I were still working there.
/sorry Dok
Nah, it’s okay, I’m well aware of my fanbase’s capability for self-delusions. Zorn, for chrissakes.
yeah, that sez it all
I forgot about this game until like…an hour ago. As such, I only bought a small amount of alcohol on the way home. This was a total rookie move, much like that last penalty.
I’m disappointed your home bar is not adequately stocked.
/ always keeps a bottle of absinthe for the a Thursday night games.
//It’s the only way.
///Fridays are a blur
Looks like we’re in midseason commercial form
#35 is cut
Yo! Yippie! Yippie yo yo!! My name is Ted. And one day, I’ll be dead, yo yo.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s05jcrJw0as
Lemmy’s Corpse Moles is my next FFL team name.
hee hee, playing the campy 80’s classic “I Wanna Be A Cowboy” from Boys Don’t Cry on the lineup reveal
only took them 30 years!
somebody’s getting a happy surprise $7 check in the mail next Monday!
Rico Gathers time. This guy should get every pass thrown his way.
Serious question – would an impeached president still get Secret Service protection?
Google says:
https://protectpensions.org/2017/02/20/much-presidential-pension/
Goddess Bless!
Oh, he gon to prison.
Well, yes, remember Clinton was impeached. If it got as far as removal from office? No precedent, but I would assume so. Still don’t want the dude getting assassinated.
Though I guess Trump would probably deport a team called the “Brown Recluses”
He just has to wait out hte Black Widows, they’ll all die soon after his budget cuts.
He likes black women whose husbands DON’T die ,, amirite?
/just kidding, he don’t like any blacks
//nor women
Let’s trade for Gabbert – Dolphins Front Office
Dammit, Mrs Cola has the tv. Any idea where I can stream this from?
do this work in teh wilds of Canadia?
http://www.nbcsports.com/live
Sadly no.
Why aren’t there more sports teams named after deadly spiders?
Kerwyn Williams sounds like it would be a good name for a real estate company.
When they stage a house for sale what I wonder what kind of paint they use…
Taco looks like he’s getting penetration..kinky…
Good old Glaine Blabbert!
How is this internet feed so fucking terrible?!!?
Like 12 people are streaming this!
Fucking NBC is the goddamn worst.
I just remembered that I forgot to mock my Dolfan fantasy commish over TannyFanny being possibly ded
Wouldn’t the mock be more cutting if it were about a guaranteed healthy tannehill for the entire season?
it do burn either way, now that I thinks of it
TACO TACO TACO
Canton: “We Give You The Flow”
THE FLOW! Okay, now this is worth watching.
Northwest Ohio! ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED??
Hey look, a football game.
Severe storm warning currently most riveting thing on screen
You in Vegas too?
Nah, still Chicago, Plus side, raining on Lolla! Take that, drunk teenagers!
Jesus, they aren’t even going to start the regular kicker?
Hell no, stubbed toe risk is REAL
shitty cornpone Nationwide commercial is back FUCK EVERYTHING
NBC needs to upgrade the sideline reporter with a newer model.
Canton’s wiki page is hilarious. Its clear its been written by the sad person that is like the head of tourism.
To be fair, the HoF is basically all that Canton has so…
I’ve been to Canton. Wouldn’t be able to tell you a single thing about it other than the Hall.
I have to provide NBC Sports with my verification for having a cable package…to stream…the fucking Hall of Fame game or else it times out in 43 minutes.
I would get mad about this, but NBC most likely spent something like $20 million to secure the rights to a shitty pre-season practice…so I guess they need to try and make ends meet.
God bless Terrell Davis and LT, who had the decency to do blow beforehand, at least.
/yes, I Mile High Saluted back
//FUCK YOU TOO
Double J looking for some Canton kitty after the game.
Something something Cantonese prostitute.
I’m from Arkansas, so two legs are preferable, but more than that’s not a deal breaker.
–Jerry Jones (I’m in the Hall of Fuckin’ Fame. Where’s that punk ass bitch Jimmy Johnson?)
Don’t mind me, folks, just limbering up.
Jerry Jones looks like he decided to give Mark Davis’ barber a try.
Morten Anderson couldn’t make THE field goal when he needed to. FUCK HIM!
nice tits, tho
He wears a t-shirt in the pool.
oh, MOS DEF
Morton Anderson looks like your friend’s dad.
I couldn’t say. He always told me he’d kill my parents if I ever turned around.
Holy shit.
Did it just get dark in here or did I just get Helen Keller level scarlet fever?
Oh did they let Phiiip Rivers and Antonio Gates come to this?
What’s the over/under on mentions of David Irving’s ripped nipple?
WHAAAAAAT????
Is this the WNBA liveblog?
Evening Folks!
SWEET SWEET FOOTBALL METHADONE!
Do pickles wear eyeliner?
Only if their gay or metrosexual.
This seems like a question for Hippo…
chuh chuh
Oh, before footballish happens, anyone ever work for a startup? Is this a thing I should do, or should I sell out and go for the higher salary in an established corporation?
One of my buddies left an established company to work for a startup.
Benefits: Better energy, flexible hours/ policies
Negatives: lack of organization can lead to chaos and last-minute rush tasks that have to be completed or else the company fails
Obviously, it depends on the individual and their need for stability/ tolerance for chaos.
It would terrify me, which probably means you should do it. I make very poor life choices.
I’m asking cause I have an interview tomorrow with a place that actually sounds pretty awesome, but I’m also talking to a few other companies, with interviews about 2 weeks out. I kinda hate that it timed out this way, since if I get an offer from the place tomorrow I’ll have to decide without anything else firmly in hand. It would be a pretty significant salary difference, though I’m underpaid enough at the moment that it would still be a raise. Stupid important life decisions.
Could you tell them you’re not available to start for two weeks? And then be up front with the other folks and say that you have an offer that you’re holding on but if they want you they’d be your first choice (if that’s true).
Juggling like that would stress me out more than just making the decision. I’m just gonna gather as much info tomorrow to try and make that decision easier :/
If you’d be passionate about what the startup does, it would probably be more fulfilling. If not, I’d avoid it.
Which job requires you to wear pants?
Take the other one.
When the Scotchnaut first sees its shadow, we know it safe to emerge from our respective spider holes. Huzzah!
I’m going to try watching the game on my phone, that way I can blame my inappropriate choice of viewing platform for the poor quality
Happy happy, joy joy!!
/to follow up on Redshirt ‘n’ God’s post below, we know tonight can’t possibly suck as much ass as the last fixture we witnessed.
Low bar? SET!!
This may be my favourite of the Catler gifs. So far. He’s gonna love The Giraffe.
He can make a gunshot uninteresting.
Is Romo calling the game?
Majel Barrett-Roddenberry: “Previously on Door Flies Open NFL Open Thread.”
Joe Buck: “…and with the extra point, the Patriots are down 25 points with 8:31 to go in the 3rd Quarter.”
Everyone in DFO: “This is the greatest day in our lives!”
God: “Hold my beer and watch this.”
Majel Barrett-Roddenberry: “And now, the continuation.”
Nerd