Your “People Tell Me That I’m Gonna Lose You” Sunday Evening Open Thread

So, the first weekend of the pre-season ends tonight, with the Seahawks going down I-5 & then onto I-10 to visit some team called the “Los Angeles Chargers” in a stadium named after a business with less credibility than the University of Phoenix.

As has been my standard in covering these Week-1 tilts, I have ventured lightly into respective fan bases by utilizing the tools found at various SB Nation blogs. I’m not insane enough to go trolling through Reddit or Yahoo! sports. For tonight, I’m indebted to Bolts From The Blue and the Field Gulls for material to glean.

Again, as I found during the course of the week, you can tell a lot about the state of a franchise by what the fans choose to write about. “Bolts From The Blue” still seems to be living in the past. They devoted a lot of words to two stories that totes prove the fan base has moved on. “What If Jerry Jones Bought The Chargers?“, reads like the NFL equivalent of the old story about George Steinbrenner wanting to buy his hometown Cleveland Indians but having to settle for the Yankees. The worse of the two is “Farewell, San Diego Chargers“, a story about how the act of merely attending an open practice in their new, temporary home puts an end to the team’s legacy in San Diego, and the creation of a new one in Carson:

However, to me, it was hard to beat the feeling of being a San Diego Chargers fan for the last 20 years. I have been through the ups and downs with this team, so remaining a Chargers fan (now that they are in Los Angeles) is just another chapter. While I sat at the light in front of the new home of the Los Angeles Chargers, I think that is when I accepted that this was just a part of the journey as a Chargers fan.

I can see the Chargers finally selling out a game at StubHub, which shouldn’t be hard given that they now have about 2/3 less seating than they did at Qualcomm (27,000 compared to 70, 561). [snip] I can see the StubHub Center being a fun time for the next few years and at least StubHub has up-to-date jumbotrons that actually display visible video.

I can say I am a Los Angeles Chargers fan and admittedly it’s a bit exciting to see how things will end up; however, I am a San Diego Chargers fan at heart. Nothing will replace that feeling.

Peter King admires this transparency. It’s more “Meh, Meh…Whatever.” than “STOMP STOMP CLAP!”, and has all the consistency of Gollum talking to himself.

 

In comparison, the Seahawks seem a model of consistency. The biggest story is about Kam Chancellor‘s extension and how it’s both team-friendly and a roster-stability guarantee for another 4 years. A highlight on their site is the addition of John Clayton to the KIRO 710 radio broadcast team which, frankly, is actually good news. Otherwise, the site is filled with puff pieces and photos from training camp. They will go either 4-0 or 0-4 in pre-season and the fan expectations will be the same regardless. SUPER BOWL, BAY-BAY!


Game Preview: Seahawks vs. Chargers

  • The Seahawks will be trying out approximately 75 Offensive linemen, and with Russell (probably) not playing expect Trevone Boykin & Austin Davis to run around a lot while former Jai alai & polo players try to figure out blocking schemes on Joey Bosa.
  • The Chargers will start strong, because Philip Rivers chose not to attend LaDanian Tomlinson’s Hall of Fame induction for the specific reason of being ABSOLUTELY FUCKING READY for a Week-1 pre-season game. He will likely play six downs and leave after a 65-yard TD or INT. Only then will he watch highlights of LT’s ceremony, in-between breaking down tape of each pass he threw during those 2 minutes on the field. COMMITMENT! DRIVE!

Tonight’s sports:

  • NFL:
    • Seahawks at Chargers – 8:00PM | NFL Network
  • CFL:
    • BC at Saskatchewan – 8:00PM | ESPN2 / TSN
  • Baseball:
    • Red Sox at Yankees – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Redshirt

So… Seahawks good or Football Clippers bad?

King Hippo

I’m going with “Shitty Clippers” but the answer is otherwise “yes”

theeWeeBabySeamus

Storng Taek: Rhona Mitra is mildly attractive.
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Mr. Ayo

He seems nice

Spanky Datass

Ruggedly handsome jaw-line … ifyouknowwhatImean … and you do.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Screw all of ya’s. You know you’d hit that p…..
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King Hippo

NO handjobs, tho

theeWeeBabySeamus

You’ve never cum so hard than when manhand calluses have shredded your foreskin. You don’t know what you’re missing.

I’ve said too much….

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Exactly; little pussies are frightened by a beautiful woman such as Rhona. Don’t be a fucking cunt and criticize others’ tastes in women. Strong take.

herodotus450

Me after every episode of Dame of Thrones for the last 3 seasons:
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REST ASSURED THAT I WAS
ON THE INTERNET WITHIN
MINUTES REGISTERING MY
DISGUST THROUGHOUT THE WORLD.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Dame of Thrones? Yeah, I know her…
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King Hippo

is this a preview of next Friday’s theme??

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ummmmmm…..

Shogun Marcus

Everyone poops. A book told me so.

Brocky

dude, they had dragons roasting people, finally a payoff

Shogun Marcus

Enjoy the nightmare
Thetrumpybear.com

JustStopDude

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What is not there to love?!?

Shogun Marcus

Didja know it has a flag binky inside him?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Authenticity of what? The horseshit inside?

King Hippo

Black Kellen Clemens seems just as shitty as the white varietal.

JustStopDude

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I wouldn’t put too much stock in an early pre-season game but holy shit…the Chargers look like they got no depth whatsoever.

King Hippo

The Shitty Clippers are going 2-14. It will be GLORIOUS.

/stomp stomp CLAP

Col. Duke LaCross

Gendry clearly DGAF.

Wakezilla

Hey rob, when’s Expos night at the Nat?

Wakezilla

Damn. I’ll be in Oregon.

Wakezilla

Touchdownnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn C-Hawks!

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Wakezilla

And the dreaded 3 man rush strikes again.

This would be an upgrade to the Liouns’ o-line

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Wakezilla

I am really, really enjoyinh the Red Racer Wheat Ale. I think it’s called something else in the states. If it’s near you, check it out. The Wheat ale is great, and their IPA is phenomenal.

http://centralcitybrewing.com/products/red-racer/

Wakezilla

This is very true. Especially with all the construction happening. However, it’s worth the trek. They have a restaurant/brewery right by stadium.

Wakezilla

Touchdownnnnnnnnnnn C-Hox!

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Nail color clashes with body paint…2/10.

JerBear50

Is this more of your friends work?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Not that I’m aware of.

Wakezilla

Liouns OL making Riders 3-man rush look like they’re Eskimos D-Line. Riders with 3 sacks and BC with 3 1st downs. In 6 possessions, they have had 3 2 & outs and 3 pics. Fuck.

Wakezilla

Field goalllllllllllllllllll C-Hox!

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Anyone else wondering what that football smells like?
No? Just me then, OK.

Shogun Marcus

Victory.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hee hee…nicely played.

Wakezilla

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck, Jennings just threw his 3rd pic to Ed Gainey and it’s the 2nd fucking quarter.

Brocky

My dad has the most irrational grudge against Danny mcbride

Wakezilla

I love Danny McBride, but he is definitely not for everyone.

JustStopDude

My father throws a shoe at the TV if Jenny McCarthy is ever on it.

I think it has something to do with you know…him growing up when polio crippled huge numbers of people.

Wakezilla

Yeah, everyone should with Jenny McCarthy. . . She may or may not make an appearance in my underwhelming LOLphins preview.

Wakezilla

Touchdownnnnnnnnnnn C-HOX!

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Ooooof. Kinda wishing I’d found her for TGISF this past week.
Brava!!!!!

Wakezilla

Hey, you’re the true hero on sexy friday. You covered body paint so much, I decided to go the rainbow themed route when posting attractive ladies.

Wakezilla

Absolutely no penetration. On a related note, what’s up with teams that I follow all having shitty offensive lines?

Brocky

…….game of thrones is so fucking awesome

Gratliff

Only 12 more minutes until I can suspend my mourning the death of the Union for 45-90 mins depending on HBO’s current mood

Brocky

Something something Bernie sanders riding a dragon

Wakezilla

Say what you will about Wally Buono being one of, if not the greatest coaches in CFL history, but, the fact that he has ruined Buck Pearce and Travis Lulay–two guys once deemed potential faces of the league– by not getting a fucking o-line and keeps ignoring this big problem with Jennings, makes him kind of a shitty GM.

theeWeeBabySeamus

So I presume the moving vans are packed, with the motors running, and pointed south right now. Just in case?

JustStopDude

Legion of Boobs defense…

Wakezilla

Indeed.

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King Hippo

Say what you will re Kellen Clemens’ wounded ducks, but they sure do lead to events.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

And you get a TD, and you get a TD, and…

King Hippo

Shitty Clipper Pick Sixerception!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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JustStopDude

Chargers in mid season form…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

Someone want to tell the Lions the game started at 5 pacific, not 6. Holy christ, they are shitting the bed.

Wakezilla

Like, did the Riders hire and fly in a ton of hookers for the Lions? It might be 22-0 by the end of the 1st!

WCS

Markus Wheaton becomes the latest former-Stiller WR to spontaneously combust the minute they leave Yinzburgh.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Given my lack of interest in this particular preseason game, I’m sharing a cool read on next week’s eclipse: https://www.vox.com/platform/amp/science-and-health/2017/7/25/15925410/total-solar-eclipse-2017-explained

Redshirt

I swear if its a cloudy day, I’m going to make it my life goal to become a supervillain and destroy the sun.

theeWeeBabySeamus

So much wasted Wolven talent.
/depressed again
//drinks heavily

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Go, Not Chargers!

JustStopDude

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Redshirt

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Beastmode Ate My Baby

TE in the end zone! They’ve figured out Seattle’s weakness…

Redshirt

Offsides! He touched the ball inside the box! Damn, BLEERGH!

Senor Weaselo

Isn’t that a yellow card?

King Hippo

Yeah, blatant handball, refs having a mare here

blaxabbath

I know we all dropped the ‘fuck you for leaving on a fan base’ on the Rams so it feels like we’re not giving the Chargers their hatred due but, as someone who feels it’s important to speak up in the face of wrong-doers, I say this:

We condemn in the strongest possible terms this egregious display of greed and lack of integrity, on many sides, that led to the Chargers leaving San Diego. There is no place in America for such behavior and, on many sides, we need to work harder to prevent such relocations in the future.”

Redshirt

In future news, the commissioner agrees that since Paul Brown Stadium doesn’t have a 4D scoreboard, he supports Mike Brown’s Head moving the team to Cape Town, South Africa. In related news, a riot of Bengals fans broke into Bengals HQ to help them pack.

JustStopDude

You joke, but Snyder has been dropping feelers out to try and worm his way to a new stadium deal. Both MD and VA have told him to piss off because he is in no position to haggle. The NFL would never let a team leave the NORVA/DC area.

I think both governors would rather see the team move than deal with the political mess of pushing through a couple of billion in stadium funding.

Unsurprised

Good. Fuck Dan Snyder.

Duchess

He told DC he’d change the name if they GAVE him RFK Stadium

JustStopDude

Going through my formative years with the Browns becoming the Ravens (My adopted team growing up in Baltimore was the Browns…I have no idea why) and then seeing them have a lot of success…doing it the right way through the draft and having consistency at the GM and head coach positions…it was great.

But over the years, with all these stadium deals and whatever…I honestly would not lose sleep at night if the Ravens moved. These fucking stadium deals are so fucking bad and to hear BILLIONAIRES…not millionaires but fucking BILLIONAIRES demand that cities, many are struggling just to service their debt, have to bend over backwards and funnel huge sums of money in terms of tax rebates and outright cash…I hate saying this to other fans of teams (and I realize this is hollow because my team is still there)…every city that loses a team is better off for it.

Eventually every fucking major sporting event and team is going to be located in places like Pyongyang, where if the locals complain, they get sent to an interment camp.

Redshirt

I respect that, but seriously fuck the Ravens. Modell stealing the Browns was just wrong.

I don’t like the Steelers, but I respect them.
I hate the Ravens.

JustStopDude

This is the whole problem with cities and fan bases…ain’t nobody own shit but the owners. He didn’t steal shit. Whether we want to admit this or not.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

The dreaded screen pass! They’ve figured out Seattle’s weakness…

King Hippo

On 4th down, the Shitty Clippers can always try an indirect free kick….

Redshirt

Due to the initials and for multiple reasons, I move that Los Angeles football team’s DFO name be called the Clippers.

Any objections?

Wakezilla

Glad I’m not the only one who keeps thinking about the Clippers whenever I see the LAC

ballsofsteelandfury

So it shall be done!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Has anyone removed all sharp objects from LCSS’ house?

ballsofsteelandfury

I honestly think he’s loving this.

Redshirt

Dear Major League Soccer,

I respect the fact that you fell that the new local minor league soccer team, that is quickly filling the void left by the local “major league” football and baseball team, needs its own stadium before you will consider its acceptance as you major league, but, and again I mean this will all due respect,

Bitch, please! The National Fuckin’ Football League is letting one of its team share a stadium that has less attendance capacity than some high school teams. Just accept FC Cincinnati.

Love,
Redshirt

ballsofsteelandfury

Seriously, HS football stadiums in Texas are bigger.

King Hippo

You can still see the Lesser Footy markings on the pitch. I’m enjoying the Spanoi humiliation.

King Hippo

That shitty Lesser Footy stadium is MAYBE 40% full. National. Muthafuckin. Disgrace.

Senor Weaselo

Damn, I think we were hoping for 40. Total.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Blair Walsh? Our new kicker is a rejected character from Beverly Hills, 90210?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

With a name like that he could be a character in “Less Than Zero”.

Col. Duke LaCross

There’s high schools in Texas that play in front of bigger crowds.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

There are high schools in TX that may have better O-lines than the Seahawks.

ballsofsteelandfury

That would be the 405, not the 10…

Wakezilla

MAPLE FOOTBALL BREAKING NEWS:

What a difference two weeks can make. Johnny Rehab may have a spot in the CFL afterall. Zack Collaros is looking so much like Drew Willy (think David Carr), Hamilton is thinking about dropping him in the offseason and are entertaining bringing Manziel in sooner than later. It probably doesn’t help that Collaros is the highest paid player in the league for some reason, but hasn’t won a game in almost a calendar year. Also, with Ricky Ray out, the backup looking like ass, the Argos are also said to be thinking about working a deal out to possibly get Manziel to the T-Dot. Same with Saskatchewan, who could see some major changes if they lose to BC.

Wakezilla

PS: Go Liouns!

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JustStopDude

I suspect that some people may think I am crazy, but I think the structure of football could help someone like Manziel get his shit together. Of course this means that the team has to have him on an incredibly short leash and ideally its a team who has a history of bringing in guys and helping them out…oh crap…its the Tigers.

He is going to be giving handjobs for coke underneath Nikola Tesla Boulevard within a week.

Senor Weaselo

You know who would have benefitted from handies for coke underneath Nikola Tesla Boulevard? Nikola Tesla, but then Edison would’ve stolen all the coke.

JustStopDude

Some of them SB Nation blogs are fucking out of sight…like better than anything from ESPN and Fox Sports.

Others…are on par with the comment section of youtube.

Gratliff

The NFL ones all seem pretty uniform these days. The ones that really stood out early on for me were the NHL ones that focused on advanced stats like Behind the Net and Broadstreet Hockey. Of course, the original writers for those have all moved on to real writing/advanced stats type jobs. Nowadays, they all have 10 mediocre-to-adequate writers.

JustStopDude

I completely stopped following the Baltimore one where it seemed like every piece written for a while was an attempt to not only defend Ray Rice, but to also argue for his job.

The dude was on the way off the team just in terms of his production BEFORE he decided to Mayweather his fiance in a casino.

I agree, its frustrating to see the talent get poach…but at the same time, its great to see them land paying jobs. I love the Camden Chat. They even got press passes at one point.

Unsurprised

Hey, dicks.

I went to the game. Walking up the hill full of food was a sweaty mess, but I did it. The game was okay, although it turns out T2 (the USL Timbers B-team) is the worst team in USL. It was a fun game, like 6+ yellow cards, one double-yellow/red near the end of the game. Anyway, it’s all good.

Unsurprised

The one awkward part was because of my partial colorblindness and the kits having similar colors, I spent 2/3 of the game rooting for the wrong team like an idiot.

Senor Weaselo

So… did you have to ask somebodaaaay?