Your “Second Careers Can Be Great Careers” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

NFL News:

  • I guess iron doesn’t sharpen iron: Richard Sherman says the Seahawks defence is what will propel the team through this season.
    • “At the end of the day, it’s really on us.”
    • It doesn’t really help that the Seahawks have only scored 21 points in two games.
    • Perhaps John Schneider & Pete Carroll should take heed of the next verse in Proverbs 27, and get Russell some fucking blockers:

17 As iron sharpens iron,
so one person sharpens another.
18 The one who guards a fig tree will eat its fruit,
and whoever protects their master will be honored.

  • Charles Tillman is training to become an FBI agent.
    • According to the Chicago Tribune, FBI guidelines mandate prospective candidates for hiring as a special agent must be at least 23 years old but younger than 37 at the time of appointment. Tillman turns 37 on Feb. 23.
  • DeMaurice Smith has been re-elected as head of the NFLPA.
    • So, the League has reached out to begin talks on extending the current CBA.
  • NFL officials are liaising with people on the ground to make sure Azteca Stadium is structurally sound – following yesterday’s 7.1 magnitude earthquake – for the Patriots-Raiders game on November 19th.
Pictured: not significant damage, or a “junta constructiva”.

Finally, I regret to inform you that Jay-Z has turned down the Super Bowl halftime show.

  • Probably because HOVA doesn’t do -25 degrees, even if it’s indoors.
  • I doubt the NFL would be interested in The Replacements.
  • I choose to remind you all again the immense tragedy of Prince’s death, because how good would it have been.

https://youtu.be/7NN3gsSf-Ys?t=40s

 


Tonight’s sports:

  • MLB:
    • Red Sox at Orioles – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
    • Royals at Blue Jays – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Indians at Angels – 10:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
  • Futbol:
    • Atlanta United FC vs. LA Galaxy – 7:00PM | ESPN2
    • Toronto FC vs. Montreal Impact – 7:30PM | TSN
    • Sporting KC vs. New York Red Bulls – 9:00PM | ESPN2
  • NCAA:
    • Women’s Volleyball:
      • Tennessee at Arkansas – 9:00PM | ESPNU
  • NHLX:
    • Washington at Montreal – 7:00PM | RDS (pour Buddy)
    • Vancouver (ss) at Calgary – 9:00PM | Sportsnet360
    • LA Kings at Vancouver – 7:30AM | Sportsnet
      • from Shanghai

It was a lovely day in Vancouver today. It stopped raining for a bit, the air has been cleared of all smoke, and the dogs are running around like loons. It’s the kind of day wh– WAIT – DON’T SHIT THERE!

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Subscribe
Notify of
276 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

blaxabbath

What do you think Richard Sherman will do after the NFL? Like he’s going to have a nice long career but, just as quickly as Reevis, will have an unimpressive last couple seasons before bowing out to a days’ worth of Respect Tweets before simply being another guy out of the league.

Sherman can’t do broadcasting. They’ll try to jam him in there with the NFL on Fox team but they’ll realize on his first assignment — calling some low-tier second-week-of-December bowl game — that he’s just not right for television. Does he become a coach? Just kinda do the cool-athlete-post-career path of having some investments and then running like a sports gear store in his hometown (of Compton) and living comfortably? He’s a smart guy (STANFORD AND BLACK) and we’re in like the prime of ATHLETE’S #BRANDS, you gotta imagine he’ll figure out how to leverage that on-field career.

theeWeeBabySeamus

He gon’ spend dat sweet Chunky Soup moneh….duh!?!?!?!?!!???

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I think you are right; he is banging Matt Stafford’s mom.

WCS

He’ll become a DB coach for a bit, and either remain a solid one, or, land some cushy jorb in the Stanford athletics department.

Unsurprised

Isn’t he managing or sort of managing a lot of his teammates’ money? I could see him going into a nice financial management job. He could be like The Mooch and use his fame and good nature to set up a hedge fund (mooch knows shit about fuck, but he hired competent people and hustled to get clients. End result – $$$$$$). He could be a valuable asset for the NFLPA. He has countless non-football opportunities available once he retires, so I guess it depends on what lights a fire under his ass.

litre_cola

Dancing with the Stars.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

If the hair was shorter, this could be me right now. (kitchen, cleavage, joint and wardrobe are currently accurate).

Shogun Marcus

Got some Kitty Forman cosplay happening?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

tWBS; you have very nice tits……… apparently.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nah, the top is just so tight that it gives me support. Usually they’re down to my nutsack….which is approaching my knees.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

HOT TUBE NIGHTMARE; KEEP SAFE, MAN!!

LemonJello

Welp, I’m signing off for tonight, I’ll see you fantastic degenerates tomorrow night for some RAMMIT action?
comment image
Later, Taters!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The older lady gives some great head apparently.

WCS

Sophie Ward?

Senor Weaselo

Evening, lizard people. Anything funny before I get on the subway for an hour?

...

One day, I’m to imitate my Twitter hero: that pig who pooped on his own balls.

King Hippo

that sounds like a bang-up idea for a children’s book – you could have make it snow illustrate?

ballsofsteelandfury

what’s up, ghost pepper?

Senor Weaselo

Had a rehearsal, dreading the commute home. The usual, basically.

theeWeeBabySeamus

comment image

WCS

That doesn’t look like Bernie Goetz…

Senor Weaselo

“Not again.” -The potted plant from Hitchhiker’s. And Senor.

Shogun Marcus

There was this guy, back in my younger wilder days. He introduced himself to me by saying, and I’ll never forget it, “Sir that’s not the breathalyzer, but keep going and this’ll just be a warning.” Ah youth.
You asked for funny. Different tastes.

King Hippo

Happy high holy day eve, all our Glorious Chosen Commentists. I appreciate not having to wake up at 5:30 to make sure my jackass kids get to high school on time!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

King Hippo

why does she need TWO bottles there are their balls ,, smh

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That is my film idea anyway.

King Hippo

I would happily put my $12 large behind this fine idea.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

ballsofsteelandfury

I don’t think I’ve seen her wear anything that doesn’t have middle cleavage.

Unsurprised

Night at the Museum 2. But she did wear pants that were so tight they could’ve been painted on.

comment image

comment image

ballsofsteelandfury

Holy shit! Didn’t even recognize her with that shitty haircut!

...

STOP STANDING THERE AND GET MORE CHAMPAGNE.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

Jesus looks pretty happy.
He’s gonna freak the fuck out when he finds out why they’re cutting that lumber.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Amy Adams in her younger years advertising….. I’d buy.

Unsurprised

I’d pick her over Gisele every time and never regret it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Unsurprised

I’m getting a Heather Locklear vibe off January Jones’s current look.

spoiler

comment image

comment image

WCS

comment image

...

What up, motherfuckers?

...

comment image

Senor Weaselo

She got turned into a pickle, Morty. She’s a pickle chiiiiiick!
/Okay, maybe not, just roll with me?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

LemonJello

Surviving Wednesday.
comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

LemonJello

Have we checked Verrit on this?

herodotus450

Ok I checkd, Kelly Oxford IS a real person. Who knew?

Unsurprised

HGH is a Hell of a drug.

King Hippo

I am enjoying this Ken Burns thingie. Not exactly a feel good piece, but fuck it, I hate life anyway.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m recording. No spoilers. Go USA!!!!
/awwwwwww shit

LemonJello

Reservation for 1 at the Hanoi Hilton?

King Hippo

LBJ is so popular at this point of my viewings! Surely he will go down as teh greatest President in the history of EVAR??

/he remained my Dad’s favourite until the day he died, true story (for his commitment to public education)

Shogun Marcus

Everyone (both sides) involved seems like they’re at Vegas or Burning Man and are doing everything they can grab, saying loudly “Why are we doing this? This is the worst idea ever. Fuck it, double down.”
Next morning…fuck…

King Hippo

The “sunk cost” fallacy, playing out over…too many years and dead people and dollars to even be able to consider quasi-sober (saving booze and heavy pill rations for tomorrow)

theeWeeBabySeamus

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

LemonJello

The things you find on the google:
comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Under “Not understanding G-spot stimulation.”

theeWeeBabySeamus

He found her on Google? Wow, I gotta try out this interwebs computery stuff.
YOU KIDS GET OFF MAH LAWN!!!!!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

LemonJello

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

No football and fuck baseball. Imma get baked and watch a movie.
/gets baked
//checks dvr

Wow, there’s a lot of shit on there, I can’t decide.

///goes back to baseball

ballsofsteelandfury

“Wow, there’s a lot of shit on there”

Listen, I know you’re proud of your German porn collection, but still…

LemonJello

Oh, goddam. +1 Scheiße

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m picturing Maestro and Weaselo and the youngsters going, “WKRWTF? What are these old farts talking about?

Good stuff kids. Good stuff.

litre_cola

Haha, where the hell is yeahright to join in with us?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

litre_cola

I just ordered the DVD’s of WKRP. They have 86% of the original music.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

ballsofsteelandfury

comment image

ballsofsteelandfury

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

Best line in any sitcom in EVAR.

herodotus450

comment image

SonOfSpam

Can’t believe he molested Dudley.

ballsofsteelandfury

It’s Dudley’s fault for liking trains.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fuck Dudley.

No wait, let me rephrase that.

King Hippo

Hey, one train deserves another ,, amirite??

ballsofsteelandfury

comment image

ballsofsteelandfury

comment image

Duchess
Shogun Marcus

I await this. Happily.

Wakezilla

Can’t wait

comment image

ballsofsteelandfury

comment image

litre_cola

I miss this show so bad. It was even funny to me when I was young and it was reruns everyday after school!

Arthur Carlson getting addicted to foot powder is a personal fave.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

ballsofsteelandfury

I miss it greatly too. So damn good.

litre_cola

Everyone ready to RAAAAMMMMMMMIIIITTTTT tomorrow?

ballsofsteelandfury

Huh, what now?

– Los Angeles

LemonJello

I need more beer.

/makes list of one item: Beer.

King Hippo

So much #MandatoryViewing, A RRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!! Thursday nighter v. Fighting Tomsulas, then a Sunday morning streamed London/Yahoo fixture.

Redshirt

One good thing about 1500 cable channels, eventually you’ll find 2 that’s airing good shows from the ’80s and ’90s.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m not watching Charles In Charge….YOU’RE watching Charles In Charge!!!!!

litre_cola

I miss WKRP in Cincinnati.

Duchess

I THOUGHT TURKEYS COULD FLY

King Hippo

#GodAsMyWitness

King Hippo

growing up in CLT, re-runs of WKRP came on after the late news (before late-night comedy shows started up). After I listened to Cardinals baseball on my clock radio, I would sneak downstairs and watch with my fellow night-owl mother (who was usually ironing). GOOD TIMES

theeWeeBabySeamus

Something something Colts’ fans do love gravy something something….
comment image

Shogun Marcus

I remember her! My first wife preferred I hadn’t. Well honey, you had to go “find yourself” with another guy. I found myself with a girl who wanted to learn. We both found our way.

Shogun Marcus

Watching Vietnam…pretty ladies will abate anger.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=6dW6aNAZGTM

Unsurprised

Fuck everything.

scotchnaut

“Fuck Nothing!”

-Single Guys That Have Given Up

ballsofsteelandfury

or King Hippo

King Hippo

#FourYearsAndCounting!!

/shoots self

Unsurprised

Only four? Pffft.

King Hippo

AND counting. I get uglier and more broke by the day. Plus the “not trying” factor, shit, I don’t even know how I would initiate the conversation anymore I am so broken.

The answer, as always, is pills. And Westworld-style sex robots.

LemonJello

Careful, you could end up with sex robots that steal your pills for fuel.

litre_cola

Evening internetters. How are we all doing?

LemonJello

comment image
Doing ok, how is House Litre?

litre_cola

Not bad, except that the pizza we ordered took 2 hours and in the mean time I went out and got Persian food. Oh well, now I have persian and pizza!

LemonJello

Looks like everything is coming up litre_cola!

litre_cola

I was pissed that the pizza shop wouldn’t answer my calls, so I said fuck it and stormed out to get more food. Now? Everything is great.

SonOfSpam

You missed a golden opportunity to say “Iran and got Persian” but whatever enjoy your bademjan pepperoni rice pizza tahdig.

herodotus450
herodotus450

comment image
Welp, I guess I should turn myself in for all those unsolved New York murders if this is true.

Redshirt

“Its a good thing, too. If that’s the case, then we’d all have to turn ourselves in.”
– Cmdr. Chekov – Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country

(can’t find a GIF, picture, of video, so trust me, he said this)

SonOfSpam

Steve Sax will be finally be exonerated!

herodotus450

comment image

Redshirt

Prayers to the little girl hit by a foul ball in the Dirt Jets/Dirt Vikings game.

https://www.cbssports.com/mlb/news/yankees-twins-players-react-to-child-hit-by-foul-ball-plead-mlb-for-protective-netting/

Senor Weaselo

That’s Dirt Giants to you!

Redshirt

So, due to a friend needing a ride to work, I had to wake up two hours earlier. Things I learned are different at 4AM than 6AM:

– No Traffic
– No Lines at McDonalds
– No Coworkers at Work to Slow You Down. I was able to get my entire days work done in two hours then spend the rest of the day doing next to nothing.

This waking an ungodly hour thing might be worth exploring, at least until I have a massive psychotic episode due to sleep deprivation.

Shogun Marcus

It’s that last part. Yes you did complete an ENTIRE work day in two hours. But if no one sees it to acknowledge it…what about the rest of the time?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

comment image

Redshirt

Actually my name is over everything I do. My role is best described from a coworker as, “I’m not sure what you do, all I know if when you were doing it, things went right. When they took you out of there, things went to shit.”

As for the rest of the time, look busy and important. Piss off some people who deserve it. Usually Wednesday stuff.

ballsofsteelandfury

It works for me.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Psychotic episodes are underrated. They really do weed out who your friends are.
So I’ve heard.

Wakezilla

Back when I was a manager at a grocery store, my mind was blown with how much work I got done when I went to work an hour before the store opened, instead of thirty minutes. Like 95% of my work was done when I had no one bothering me. The other 5 was regular instore hours shit. It was amazing

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show
scotchnaut

Any “Egghead Likes His Booky-Book” recs out there?

/yeah, I quoted a 20 yr. old Simpsons line. What of it?

Redshirt

Ah, I was thinking of a Simpsons reference when reading about GOP trying to repeal Obamacare, again.

Democrats (thinking): Poor, predictable Republicans. Always caters to their base of old, white people.
Republicans (thinking): Good, old base. You’re never gonna go away.

scotchnaut

Homer’s Brain: “Dental Plan!”

GOP: “Not Covered.”

Redshirt

But, Jimmy Kimmel’s best friend, Sen. Bill Cassidy, said it would all be covered.

Unless he was lying…

LemonJello

comment image

LemonJello

Any particular type of booky-book?

scotchnaut

Mystery, non-fiction, fiction, bio, auto-bio, Sci-Fi, etc.

/Text books? No.

LemonJello

I’m working through Neil Gaiman’s American Gods right now.

Have you read any of Steven Pressfield’s stuff?

/pushes Mankiw’s Principles of Economics, 6th Edition under the couch with his foot

scotchnaut

I read Gaiman’s thingy with Terry Pratchett. Brilliant. I’ll take a look at Pressfield.

LemonJello

These are probably my favorites of his:

Gates of Fire is an interesting take on the 300 at Thermopylae
The Virtues of War follows Alexander the Great across the globe.
Killing Rommel is set in WWII, with the LRDG in Africa
The Profession is a look at the potential of mercenary armies and corporate interests meddling in the Middle East

scotchnaut

That last one-I’ve done a shit-ton of reading about the Middle East and the Ottoman Empire and the Sykes-Picot Agreement. Can’t say that I’ve scratched the surface with respect to understanding what’s going on there.

LemonJello

It’s a fictional account, but I found it very applicable to a lot of what’s been going, and continues to go on in that region.

Thomas Ricks and Bing West write some good non-fiction,

herodotus450

/Slides this book back into pocket
comment image
//But I AM still happy to see you

scotchnaut

You’re gross.

/in a good way
//but, still

Shogun Marcus

Warren Ellis with Transmetropolitan, Gun Machine, Crooked Little Vein. Garth Ennis’ Preacher. Any Neil Gaiman of course, but Norse Mythology makes it easy for newbies.

herodotus450

If you like (or don’t for that matter) the show, Game of Thrones are my latest obessesion.
http://s2.storage.akamai.coub.com/get/b30/p/coub/simple/cw_timeline_pic/1eb66c7100c/2b77cbe68ec9fe6406f26/med_1409627739_1385907236_image.jpg

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hippo turned me on to this one recently. I started it last week but this week has kept me from continuing so far. But great read up to this point…
https://www.amazon.com/Station-Eleven-Emily-John-Mandel-ebook/dp/B00J1IQUYM/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1505954677&sr=8-1&keywords=station+eleven

LemonJello

That’s on my wish list for future purchase/reading.

SonOfSpam

Enjoyed that book bigly.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Scene from dinner. Lady BFC makes a lovely dish featuring butternut squash halves.

Her: …
Me: What?
Her: Are you supposed to eat the skin from butternut squash?
Me: /googles
Her: Sorry I waited til you ate half to say something

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I say the same thing when I forget my herpes diagnosis.

Shogun Marcus

You can. Your coworkers will not be thankful tomorrow.

theeWeeBabySeamus

comment image

Shogun Marcus

THE BEST of ALL however IS AND ALWAYS…mrs. Maria Bamford. Go, there’s nothing on, seek her. Be happy. Giggle! Do it NOW BEFORE WE’RE DEAD!

Shogun Marcus

Also this. Oh Kat…such a crush. Then and now actually.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=GYFanvRAkbY

scotchnaut

[squints] “Babes in Boyland? Don’t get me started. Greatest. Movie. Ever.”

-A. Rodgers

Shogun Marcus

You even TRY to besmirch my crush with this open-mic bs…I will find you.

Shogun Marcus

Minnesota, and no Husker Du? Fuck you!
https://youtube.com/watch?v=T7QMDPj2byo

Shogun Marcus

While true, it mightda just done the trick finally.

herodotus450

We don’t still like Jennifer Lawrence, do we? Her whole bit got stale quite a while ago? Her repetitive, fake charm act doesn’t outshine her only above average acting? Is her entire personality manufactured? Is she some kind of vat-grown publicity experiment conditioned to appeal to the widest internet audience?
Just making sure: need to calculate when it will be cool to like her again so I can be ahead of that curve…

LemonJello

*static* *buzz**click-hiss*
“Say again all after Jennifer Lawrence, you’re coming through broken and unreasonable. Over.”
*click-hiss**buzz**static*
comment image

herodotus450

comment image

Shogun Marcus

See…she’s hawter. Eye of the wishful beholder i suppose.

Redshirt

Yeah, I know. I’ve read those words before, but in that order, its just gibberish.

theeWeeBabySeamus

She’s hot and way cray cray. What’s not to like?

herodotus450

Yeah, true enough. I guess I take umbrage with any credit she gets for being real or cool or down to earth, I think she’s faking it. MAYBE.
But she does sound a little like Sarah Chalke so maybe I’ll just close my eyes and imagine…

theeWeeBabySeamus

I think she’s just truly batshit.
And also hot.

herodotus450

/Maybe still bitter that she has gross bleach blonde hair now
comment image?w=714

Shogun Marcus

I’m ok with her. She’s not great, but isn’t awful. Like gweneth. You’re supposed to like her…but…why?

Redshirt

I’ll defer to the Board, but personally I think she’s good. From what I’ve seen and heard, she’s a rare mix of “drinking buddy who likes have a good time” and “a body that makes me get down on my hands and knees and thank God for making me a heterosexual”.

But that’s just my humble opinion.

scotchnaut

Just realized that we’ve got a London (9:30 am) game on Sunday. I can’t drink through all the football like I once did and this makes it almost impossible. I do love me the quadrooble-header concept though…

theeWeeBabySeamus

Use the early London Calling to get the caffeine pumping. Then you’re ready for the rest of the alcohol swilling day of fun and laughter.
Being a Ratbirds fan however, I’ll be drunk by 9am. It’s a necessity I’m afraid.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EfK-WX2pa8c

scotchnaut

Drunk by 9am? You I like.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I might still be drunk from Saturday night. We’ll play that one by ear.

LemonJello

Drunk by 9am, also known as a “Baltimore Church Service.”

scotchnaut

Hah!

theeWeeBabySeamus

So, I kinda lost track what with fitbawll starting n junk….but I’m happy to report that the Orioles suck again/still.
comment image

LemonJello

Imaginary Internet Friends, I bid you all a good evening!

Due to some work commitments I will be able to watch the Thursday night tilt instead of trekking down I-95. And what is my reward? The shitshow matchup of 9ers v RAMMIT ? By the beard of Zeus, what did I do in this life or a past life to deserve this?

ballsofsteelandfury

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

He’s probably still doing it. Some people just never learn.

LemonJello

comment image

With much love.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hee hee.

LemonJello

comment image

I don’t know what you’re talking about.

scotchnaut

“You did nothing. This is your reward.”

-Zeus’ Beard

LemonJello

It always was kinda a dick.

ballsofsteelandfury

Olivia Munn?

scotchnaut

I’ve got a customer that I talk to every Monday, Wednesday and Friday for the last 8 years or so. Today? Nothing. Can’t reach him. Can’t help thinking that something really bad has occurred. Fuck.

LemonJello

Hope it’s just a communications issue and nothing serious.

ballsofsteelandfury

Everyone today was telling me they thought it was Thursday. Maybe that happened?

ballsofsteelandfury

alternatively, is the customer in Puerto Rico or Mexico City? Communications are difficult now.

scotchnaut

Nah, he’s very close by.

/Everything is gonna turn out just fine, I’m sure
//glass half-full, right?

Redshirt

Wait until Friday. If no response, see if you can find him on Facebook or Twitter just to see if he’s still active.