Things got started early today in London. The Ratbirds missed their wake up call, however. Yeeeeesh.
But we’re at the day’s halfway point finally. What’s on tap this late afternoon?
Seattle at Tennessee (4:05pmEDT, FOX)
I like the Titans and Mariota in this one. Take Tennessee and give the 2 points. Plus, as usual, Pete Carroll is on drugs….
“I think we’ll continue to grow,” Seattle coach Pete Carroll said after last week’s victory over the 49ers. “We’re going to get better. I think we can see us making the improvement that’s going to be important for us.”
SMGDH
Cincinnati at Green Bay (4:25pmEDT, CBS)
The Bungles can’t score. The Cheesedicks can’t stop anybody from scoring. It’s the classic “Resistible Force meets the Movable Object” scenario. That being said, the Packers probably have the better chance at the bounce back win. Duh. Take the Packers, give the 6.5. Also, Marvin Lewis is doing his best Pete Carroll impression soooo….
“We have to have a direction of execution and things have to fit together and we’ve got to provide opportunity to attack the defense,” Lewis said. “We’ve got to do a great job attacking what is our perceived weakness of the defense and get the ball to our guys who can make plays.”
“Perceived” weaknesses. LOL.
Kansas City at Nawt San Diego (4:25pmEDT, CBS)
First, Andy Reid has apparently accumulated too much cholesterol in his cerebral arteries….
“I’m from there so I’m an L.A. guy,” Reid said. “I’m glad pro football is back. It’s a big city and it can handle two teams.”
…but I get it. Coachspeak. AKA…bullshit. If either team is still there in 10 years, I’ll shoot myself. If both teams are still there, I’ll shoot you.
KC is the no brainer in this one, -3. But honestly, I wouldn’t bet this game. Alex Smith has overachieved and is due to fall. Philip Rivers hasn’t exactly underachieved necessarily, but he has had a difficult time getting the motor running consistently, mostly due to lack of complimentary parts. I think that changes today, even if it does occur only temporarily and in the wrong town. Bolts get their first LA win by a FG late.
Also, CBSSports.com still has this game listed as being played in Qualcomm Stadium. Way to go, CBS. I mean it’s not like the Bolts moving from San Diego to LA was a big story or anything. I understand how you might have missed it. You’re doing fine.
OK folks. Go, watch, drink, comment.
Make me proud.
But pace yourselves…we’ve still got the late late SNF game yet to go…
–
A shovel pass. Who’d have guessed.
I did hear that Andy Reid had him spade
With the C-Hox struggling on offence again, here’s my obligatory trade one of Seattle’s core 5 guys on defense–mainly Richard Sherman– for a lineman that can fucking block.
I need a job.
Jobs are overrated. I have one and I desperately want to quit.
Being broke all the time is no fun, though. Especially if you’re an aspiring alcoholic like I am (Although that can’t be good for my desire to lose weight).
The Unemployed and Starving Diet isn’t as appealing as it may sound.
It worked well for me a year ago, then somehow I managed to gain some of it back, but now I’m losing again. I guess what I’m saying is the Obesity is a land of contrasts.
I have 2 and want neither.
Five bucks for the first person who ‘shops Sherman chewing on his mouthpiece into a baby pacifier after he went into a rage about all those penalties.
I can’t find a photo.
Decker uses his 3rd leg to stay in, on pissed off Sherman.
I know when I want to put a dagger in a team, I do a sideline sprint with travis henry
Have an ice footbaw game. Catch you all for the late game.
Dear Newbie OC,
Just run the ball forward and everything will be fine.
Richard Sherman gonna Richard Sherman
Wow, Sherman just picked up three penalties on one play, and now he’s going for four
Richard Sherman being naughty.
He’s prolly upset cause his scalp itches
Referee just did a 5-minute monologue of all the bad things Sherman did.
He’s Freaky Fred?
Went on to Ancestry.com just now. Turns out I’m from Hungry.
Boo this man.
You should try moving to Turkey!
What is that? A historical themed porno site?
Ted Cruz approved.
I’m about to make some pizza if that helps.
My entire mom’s side is from Hungry. Women there are gorgeous
I’m told it’s true in Ukraine as well.
It was certainly true of Slovenia when I was there.
So I’ve read.
Fucking, Austria
Funny, you don’t look Hungrian.
And there’s your season’s quota of hot blonde chicks at Lambeau. You’re welcome.
Good for Jake Elliot. I’m glad he got a 2nd chance this year. He seemed good in preseason, just had some back luck.
I’m not glad at all that he had to do it against the Giants.
My bench has almost caught my starters. 125.21-118.21
That is some bench you got there.
Perine and CJ(formerly)2K still ain’t played yet.
(them racing Davante and Tyreek now, basically)
Cincy D bought up all the Green Bay misdirection stock.
so i’m in chicago and they’re showing sea/ten
this is what hapepns when dallas plays the monday night game
If you’re looking for other games, try this subreddit. https://www.reddit.com/r/nflstreams/
Just make sure you have a good pop-up blocker installed
When I had brunch today (shut up) the guy next to me wanted to see the SEA-TEN game and was pretty pissed to realize he’d have to wait 3 1/2 hours for it.
Thank you sweet baby Jeebus for not being Bennett
Woohoo!
I thought it was. Hippo smash.
ME TOO
I don’t know how you can stand the stress of Fantasy Football. If I had to worry about not just which team, but which player scored, I’d be a nervous wreck
my natural state anyway, I’d just be anxious re life otherwise
Tyreek is always better. But LOL, #ShittyClippers
PRAISE BLEERGH!!!!
Oh, yeah, that’s right. BLEERGH loves Pittsburgh and hates Cincinnati.
Did I just hear an announcer wax rhapsodic about “slippery” K. Hunt?
At least it looks like I was correct to not bet KC/NawtLA.
I’m not smrt, ppl.
Gern Bay didn’t fumbre.
I trold you I was gright.
So, was that an actual typo, or a subtle reference to Favre?
I’m just screwing around.
could have used a goddamned DavanteDOWN, though
A.A.Ron, tacklin’ machine
He loved being able to wrap his arms around a guy in public.
And looked rather pleased with himself at the end of it all. Ya gotta do you, man.
Okay. Who’s hacked the CBS feed with a realistic video game of CIN-GB?
He’s down.
Sadly I agree.
stretching FOAR goal line – the 1 is just fine, thanks
As long as Rodgers throws it in
Not to Bennett. Bennett is hot lava, I don’t needs fading Carr tonight.
Ill take anyone. I’m not picky.
so that’s five relative upsets today?
Chicago, jets, indy, buffalo, and the rams weren’t expected to win today?
Minnesota with Case Keenum under center?
Ummm Shanklor I would like to thank you for ignoring the Iggles game. If you do have something against OBJ that’s cool too.
You smart: National anthem should always be played at a football game to support the troops
Me, dumb: Will you watch the invictus games
You: I aint watching any cripples and sad snowflakes play sports!
I hate Pacman, but he got screwed.
I’m not sure Pacman even touched the receiver prior to falling. Looks like the turf monster got him.
” You can look but you can’t touch.”
–Pacman, ever since the incident–
Man, “You Say Run” from My Hero Academia really does go with anything. Cause i was listening to that on that Bears OT drive.
Tracy Wolfson doesn’t have an upper lip. Spread the news!
The Bengals… scored a… touch… down???
It’ll get called back in the 3rd quarter.
Once they just get rid of the national anthem, they’ll have 2 more minutes for commercials!
I’d support this
Oh shit. Ibushi on the field. Gonna be lit.
RIP Golden Lovers
Keepin’ it sexy in the open threads
and some people say wrestling is gay, lol amiright?
/scrambles to erase posts about Bears losing by three
Thank you little green christ
I like your reference, but my friend is confused. Could you explain it to him?
AJ green scored a touchdown. Aliens are little and green. I’m five pints deep and barely making sense.
YEAH!
http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/d8/d829201aac7cd941a34b5c8d90e974814b5eb6b85639c450824c92e47bd99223.jpg
Sure, the Lions got fucking jobbed hardcore, but I feel like the 61 yard field goal to beat New York more than makes up for it.
“The dreams in which i’m dying, are he best i’ve ever had”
I enjoyed it immensely.
Due to Jo Howard bringing it, i’m only now down 11. He only has Gordon for the Chargers left. While i still have Carr, Bryant, Bailey, and Cook.
Oh, BLEERGH! Let Cincy finish this drive!
of course
https://twitter.com/thehill/status/912048333413330944
I expected a quip on the steelers deserving to lose
BEARS DID A THING! BEARS DID A THING! I’M GONNA GET FUCKING CRUNKEDDDEDDEDEDD
Yeeeeaaaaaahhhhhhhhh. Nice kick rook!
Did you know Aaron Rogers had never beaten the Bengal! And this is the only reason I’m watching this game! Also it’s mother punchin’ happy hour! Whoooooooooo
If you could punch my estranged mother, there’s a fiver in it for you.
/thanks in advance
I’ll punch her for free.
Twice.
Do you want to know why I punch mothers? In their last , unpunched moments, people show you who they really are. So in a way, I know your mothers better than you ever did. Would you like to know which of your mothers were cowards?
I’ll also throw in a sawbuck for punching my piece of shit mother.
Lambeau Field is at 78% capacity of the city of Green Bay.
The city proper, yes. Far more live in the burbs.
Green Bay has suburbs? I thought Green Bay was a suburb.
Ashwaubenon, bellevue, allouez, De Pere, West De Pere, Howard, Suamico, Hobart, and even Oneida (though not them so much).
I assume these are all Indian words for “We do things the right way here”
Lambeau is barely within the city limits of Green Bay.
It isn’t. Physically it’s in ashwaubenon, but it’s part of green bay. Like the Vatican being in Rome but with cheese.
Far more live in the greater chicago area
seriously fuck those cheese heads
Dude, I’m a cheese head. Fuck you and your team who I was quite pleased to see win. You win geography.
Not ALL cheeseheads, just those cheeseheads
you’re cool in my book. for whatever that means
“I meant those other assholes.”
125% of its recommended weight
In case of a Tornado Warning, please proceed to the Bengals end zone where there are no touch downs.
If you didn’t already have the banner and the Bengals hadn’t scored, this would have been it.