NFL News:
- Different day, different angry owner: John Mara said the Giants will address Odell Beckham’s dog-peeing TD celebration.
- Reminder: his niece is my future ex-wife, Kate Mara.
- The CFL has ruled that Johnny Manziel cannot play in 2017.
- Manziel said: “I recently had a really positive meeting with Commissioner Ambrosie and welcomed the chance for us to get to know each other and have an in-depth talk about a possible future with the CFL.
- The League has not published a rationale behind their decision, but the apparent rationale is that there’s only 5 weeks – and four games – left in the season.
- They have also extended Hamilton’s rights ownership to the end of the season, should they want to sign him for 2018.
- But Kaep’s still available!
- Peyton Manning is allegedly preparing for a Senate run in Tennessee.
- No official word, or knowledge of his party affiliation.
- The “Omaha!” says Republican, but the pre-existing macrocephaly says Democrat.
- No official word, or knowledge of his party affiliation.
- Latest rumours are that Justin Timberlake is your Super Bowl LII halftime performer.
- It will mark 13 years since his last appearance. ‘Member?
- A wistful read comes from The Ringer, which has “an appreciation” on Darren Sproles.
- Fun fact: he was in the same draft class as Frank Gore (2003).
Finally, your daily anthem-pocalypse update:
- DirecTV is offering Sunday Ticket refunds to people wanting to cancel in protest of the protests.
- The Ravens’ anthem singer, Joey Odoms, resigned due to “fans who attack players for protesting, (a right in which I fought to defend) but are simply not interested in understanding why, is the reason I am resigning.”
- Peter King’s Word Buffet has a collection of letters fans wrote to teams, with his site cc’d. He includes at the head the one written to Dan Rooney which prompted his response yesterday.
- The fire chief who N-bombed Mike Tomlin has resigned from his position.
Tonight’s sports:
- MLB:
- Cubs at Cardinals – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
- Blue Jays at Red Sox – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
- Padres at Dodgers – 10:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
- MLS:
- Montreal vs. NYCFC – 7:30PM | TSN
- Seattle vs. Whitecaps FC – 10:30PM | TSN
Reminder: hockey season starts next week. Can the Penguins threepeat?
PROVE ME WRONG, NHL!
John Elway can eat all the shit they shovel into his stable. Horse-faced motherfucker.
I have to be awake in 4½ hours. What am I doing online?
Masturbating, one way or another.
Wasting time the correct way.
Chronicles of Riddick? Moar liek Chronicles of Slapdick…
Lyle Waggoner was awesome.
Holy fuckballz, I just googled him. Fucker is still alive, holy shit.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grVW7vT4vgo
God Almighty
Do you think if trump gets
electedimpeached he can be exiled to puerto rico, like some Napoleon shit?Hasn’t Puerto Rico suffered enough?
Can we exile him to Rikers Island?
Before or after it closes?
That’s good ironing, but, I think he should be exiled to Staten Island.
Originally, I was going with Catalina Island, is there a shitty island that’s part of New Jersey?
Its half of Ellis Island.
Staten Island is his base. He could use it to return and take over again like Napoleon’s first exile.
Nah. He won’t be impeached, and if he does, it won’t be the kind where he steps down as president. It sets a dangerous precedent going forward that nobody will want.
With that said, holy fuck, I feel for Don t and all the Puerto Ricans. Nothing like being blackmailed into privatization in order to get food and electricity. I kind of hope the Cubans step in and provide aid as a big fuck you to the Americans for letting Puerto Rica suffer.
Why an island. Just put him on a inner tube, put him out to see and wish him the best of luck.
Ooooh! One of those “trash islands” made of all the plastic and styrofoam in the middle of the ocean!
I can just imagine some low level Secret Service agent assigned to investigate threats to the President online reading this and wondering if he should include it in his report.
‘They want to what?”
“Banish him on an island. Either Puerto Rico or some kind of garbage scow?”
“You’re making this up!”
“No, sir. One even thought of putting him of a pool float.”
“Huh. That’s a new one.”
“Here’s what scary boss — they got a guy on there named Moose…yeah….right. exactly the same….yeah it’s definitely the Veep.”
Lots of islands being thrown out here, but ppl forget every man is an island,,,
Send him to my island.
I’d be happy to take care of him.
Turns out the poem is actually the opposite, in its originalform
“No man is an iland, intire of it selfe; ”
But for some reason I wanted to quote it as
“Every man is an island, unto himself.”
How’s this for a poem?
I wouldn’t piss up Trump’s asshole if his guts were on fire.
It doesn’t rhyme, but it’s got a certain something, don’t you think?
Clever disguise……’cept for dem boobies.
Hair by bakelite
They make great wigs.
So you noticed the hair, but not the multiple “fruit type objects” (don’t say pop her cherry, don’t say pop her cherry) on her shoulders?
Cherries on shoulders, STRAWberries on dress? 2/10 fruit.
another clever disguise.
IONIC columns? What am I, a farmer?
The Deadspin article about the NCAA sting seems depressingly accurate. They got their headlines, but the scam will continue and corruption reigns because this is Hellworld.
Anyway, I don’t give a fuck about anything Trump says or what anyone thinks about anything he says. If he kills us all, then we’re dead anyway, so what difference does it make? If he isn’t, I’d rather spend my short time remaining on this stupid planet doing literally anything else.
STOP TALKING ABOUT ME DAMMIT!!!!!!
Oh, well. Why not.
Yeah, yeah, every time I look in the mirror…
On the other hand my web history is clean and positive.
https://deadspin.com/chargers-superfan-boltman-on-security-asking-him-to-rem-1818868141
BOLTMAN WILL HAVE HIS REVENGE! REPENT NOW OR THE STREETS WILL FLOW WITH THE BLOOD OF THE UNBELIEVERS!
Duh. That’s why I’m here.
Let the stupid commence.
/grabs own penis
I said there’s a HORSE in Central Park. A HORSE.
Soooooo…no whores then?
Well….I didn’t say THAT.
I’m sure as hell not gonna grab it! Unless you really…well, nevermind.
Lacey. Nice.
Damned tease.
You didn’t seem to have a problem with it last night.
I’ve said too much.
She’d better clean off her right boot before the stain sets.
Another strong Hope Clicks today….
DRINK IT UP JORTS NATION. DRINK IT UP.
DIE DIE DIE WHY AREN’T YOU FUCKERS STILL RIGHTLY CURSED?
Best flight crew in EVAR!!!!!!
*bzzzt scrich*Ook!
MAYBE.
OK….maybe I was premature in my joculation.
JOCULATION I said.
But maybe also the other. Now I need a towel.
OH GOD FUCKING DAMN IT! Now I really envy Meat Brickhouse.
Man, I wish flight attendants looked like that.
Well, she has given up on Kurt Russell’s antics. Do I dare fire in Singles and hope she doesn’t find that boring? At least the soundtrack is unbelievable.
Go with The Thing
That’s what SHE said.
Moose is that my chicken??
It looks like your chicken.
…. but he is it’s crossing a driveway and not a road.
Now we know…
The knows know…..
Might be time for a rewatch
Mulholland Drive should be nice
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Was this in the movie?
Imgur sucks.
Where did those come from?
I am merely a messenger awash in the stormy seas.
She looks like Selena Gomez. I can work with this.
I feel a disturbance in the force.
(note: Yes, I’ve named my pants “the force”),
Pey-Pey is almost the perfect modern Republican candidate. Sexual assault accusations bounce of him like balls from a trainer’s face. All he needs is to be on the DL, while hating on the gays, like another Denver QB.
I’m telling you, he positioning himself as the next McCain sans military service. He’ll have a great relationship with the media, portray himself as a thoughtful dissenter, vote with the party 95% of the time, and get repeatedly sucked off by 3/4 of America.
Dem nipplez doh.
Cold water does that.
or da Batman…….
while I agree with the eye roll at the McCain media fascination, I legitimately appreciate how he saved tens of millions of people from having their access to healthcare ripped away (even if for less than heroic reasons).
Sad ook.
Collins and Murkowski have been doing all the heavy lifting and taking the brunt of the GOP’s shit for it, though.
I’m pretty sure putting your wee-wee on a lady’s head in Tennessee qualifies as a gesture of courtship.
/but I do think it’s established that he’s not racist or homophobic, so I doubt he can really run in TN or IN. Not enough roots in CO.
Movies in the Eighties were incredibly raycess. It could be the snowflakation of the world but oh my it isn’t even hidden.
Oh yeah. They’re also very homophobic as well.
And the normalization of anti-furry stereotypes is unforgivable
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oowOsEOTApA
It’s Always Sunny did a nice send-up of that with their “ski school” episode
/also pretty rapey
BeerGuyRon Dog Training Academy?
I am loving this NCAA basketball investigation. I went to bed last night thinking, “Well, the FBI got a nice little sting. Pitino’s guys waere probably so brazen it just fell in their lap. And then they wrapped up a few other coaches for measure but the NCAA won’t punish those schools because, frankly, the NCAA barely punishes institutional cover up of rape.”
Today I’m like, “This is going to Agent Smith out and bring down the entire NCAA and now’s probably a good time to divest of any Adidas/Nike/UnderArmor stock.”
Sadly, I think they have their patsies to fall on the sword and nobody of relevance will see time in jail or team get the death penalty
They might find patsies for an NCAA investigation, but no way is anyone gonna do 20+ years of fed time for Ratface.
I have a suspicion that the NCAA is the FBI’s goal target. If dominoes begin to fall, “everyone does it” will become the rally cry of the guilty and then someone will cough up documentation of the NCAA looking the other way on A LOT of things. As great as athletic money is, federal loan dollars are on the line if schools (as academic institutions) are exposed as being in on this behavior.
You thing tuition is bad now? Wait until the only college that can receive federal dollars is The Maestro’s music school. (I’m kidding here but the risk is valid and real and all univ Presidents should be looking at their programs HARD).
No the U*NC example is….don’t look AT ALL
Again, I am all like what about U*NC’s brazen academic fraud you fuckers??
/also, they pay ppl just like everybody else does. Supposedly Harrison Barnes was prohibitively expensive.
“Do you think the NCAA really has concerns about things like academics in collegiate sports?”
— Mark Emmert
Just so long as we keeps all the money, bitch!!
“NCAA is my favorite Village People song.”
– Emmett Smith
Sadly, I’m more worried that NCSU is an Adidas school, and Gottfried is dumber than Pitino….probably.
Goddammit, they started the wave. Fuck the wave.
I fucked a wave once….. got crabs.
Hermana Weaselo and her boss had to leave. And then came the homers. So boo leaving but yay homers, just hit it higher Birdperson!
I recorded Big Trouble in Little China, Mrs. Cola is thus far not impressed.
Divorce is the answer
I will give her this: It didn’t age well. I could see that
Nor was mine. I was disappointed.
Well, she’s Asian, so….
The hope was that she would enjoy seeing the “white savior” character as an unwitting buffoon sidekick.
Forget it litre, it’s Little Chinatown.
The Cubs appear to be back on their bullshit.
GET OFF YOUR BULLSHIT YOU BULLSHITTERS
Thank you for listening to me.
So happy we have FOOTBAW tomorry, even if it is only TX/Iowa State and Aaron meets some Bears.
To be fair, Aaron’s two favorite days of the year are when he gets to play bears.
He doesn’t mind tackling some Vikings every now and then, depending on if he’s in a “rough ‘n’ ready” mood
A-Aron meets the Bears is Buddy’s favoUrite internet film.
Oh the hot taeks about the Pens are nuclear. Such as, “the Penguins going will make the NHL more popular and more people will go to their games.”
I bet my life savings * this doesn’t happen
*doesn’t have life savings
/once you have chill’uns, you never even consider the phrase “life savings” ever again
//a bullet makes a fine retirement plan ,, ppl forget that
WHAT ABOUT MY SHETLAND ISLAND RETIREMENT!?!?!?
Pills are even better. I plan on going high as a fucking kite when my time comes.
Give me all the Flintstones Chewable morphine!
I no longer have enough reserve pure Oxycodone in reserve to die with if/when needed, and I doubt I can get MOAR (THANKS, asshole hillbillies) despite having legitimate need.
Have to make do with vicuprofen solely now.
Bettman is working on his Alabama expansion press conference as we speak
We thought Calgary Flames was moving to Seattle, turns out they’re moving to Alabama! Yeeeeehaw!
I could see that
Evening intrepid commentists.
Just saw a commercial for a My Little Pony movie. Has anyone checked in on Redshirt, or is he already lining up?
Not yet. But I am interested. I’m probably going to wait until I see reviews.
However, the MLP:FiM writers are great and the voice actresses are awesome. Plus the music at times rivals Disney at their peak. My fear is that its going to be too bloated for its own good, trying to fit in too much jokes and celebs that the story is harmed.
It has the potential to be good though.
As soon as the ad came on, I immediately thought that it would brighten a Bengals fan’s day
Watching a doc about the last few hours of horses that are going to be put down. It’s the exact opposite of ‘uplifting’.
The world needs glue.
It’s what binds us together.
I enjoyed the Denver/Atlanta Superb Owl very much, thank you!
One time ballsofsteel and I were at a restaurant and I was convinced Kate Mara was sitting at a table behind him. By the end we were pretty sure it wasn’t her, though. Exciting story, right?
I ONCE SAW SHERMAN HEMSLEY IN A MALL
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSvOTw8UH6s
Good evening Imaginary Internet Friends! No sprots that interest me so I’m watching a documentary sent from the future.
It’s called San Andreas, starring future Supreme Warlord Dwayne Johnson and costarring the cleavage of Alexandria Daddario and Carla Guigo.
I liked it better the first time I saw it, when it was called 2012.
Then you’ll love the edgy, gritty reboot: Geostorm
I prefer Supreme Warlord CJ Johnson of San Andreas.
That movie is the best example of giving away all the good stuff in the trailer. Basically every cool disaster shot was packed into two minutes with the rest of the movie serving as bullshit filler.
Except Alexandria Daddario’s awesome boobs. But I think those were in the trailer too.
Its Carla Gugino. If you’re gonna mention my goddess, please spell her name right. And post a pic:
http://sharpmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/ae-CMedia-16-06-Carla-43016_Sharp_Carla_S4_1248_final.jpg
I’m not even gonna mention “Alexandria”. smgdmfh.
TBH, I was distracted by the magnificence of their boobs.
and delicious beer.
http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w186/vaskidmark/Youaretechnicallycorrect.jpg
These Cubs were back on their bullshit on for a while tonight.
I just realized I’m watching Survivor. Why the hell am I watching Survivor?
Fell asleep watching the news?
You know what you did.
That pic of Kate Mara would be much better if she was demonstrating the proper technique for leg lifts.
I didn’t even know she did pictures like that. I nearly fainted.
Them eyes though.
*scrolls down*
DAMN IT
Per IMDB for Shooter
Costume Design by
Ha Nguyen
Thank you, Ha. May she rest in peace.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7E2U14-tOAo
The exercise you’re thinking of is called a “Hello Dolly”
Jodie Foster channels Charles Bronson in “The Brave One”.
Just in case you were about to burn things…
1) I’m a size medium, just give the clothes to me. Like jebus would. I got it from here.
2) America wasn’t founded on shh…this’ll blow over.
Not sure what’s more pathetic about this
https://www.change.org/p/baltimore-ravens-remove-the-ray-lewis-statue-in-front-of-ravens-stadium
The people who voted, or the fact that they think an internet petition will do anything.
(Incoming Rant)
The Republican Party is officially a lost cause. The Far Right Assholes are in control and have convinced the voters that somehow neo-fascism is the way to go. I’m not sure what type of voodoo shit they pulled, but they did it and the Republicans of Reagan are lost.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_qqkzXOGMs
Plus I can’t vote Democrat, because I am pro-life (with exceptions), pro-death penalty and anti-gun control (a person shouldn’t have a machine gun, but a semi-auto in their house to protect themselves is fine by me). Also, I believe that if you give everyone all the entitlements they feel they deserve, you’ll go bankrupt. Plus its not Health Insurance that’s the problem; its the cost of Health Care. I shouldn’t have to declare bankruptcy or go on Ramen Noodles for five months just because I went to the hospital for two days. They’re forcing us to buy Premium Tires but doing nothing for the freaking potholes that destroy us if we hit them.
I guess I can vote Republican. LOL, NOPE! I’m for Conservative government where the government stays out of the way, not the MAGAland that Il Douche is turning this country in to.
Oh, to hell with it. Where my beer?
I have an idea:
pro-life (with exceptions) is a good description of the status quo
exceptions = rape, incest, life of child or mother.
I believe that when a man and woman choose to have sex, they choose to accept the responsibilities of having sex, either change in the relationship, betraying someone or conceiving a child.
In the instances of the exceptions above, the woman’s ability to have a choice was taken away or in the last case, the situation has changed and she should decide how to proceed.
If you consider war and dying from preventable diseases and execution and contaminated water and unsafe work environments and your occasional mass shooting as the exceptions, you get real close to the heart of the Pro-Life platform.
You’re pro-life and pro-death? Kill yourself.
And fuck-life in between.
Not sure if joking or serious.
If comment is serious: Nice way to have a dialogue with someone. Insult them so they shut down and you don’t get a chance to influence or change their opinion. If you’d notice, I didn’t say anything about Gay Marriage. Five years ago I was against Gay Marriage. Now I am for it. I am so for it, I didn’t even think about mentioning it because its an afterthought for me. That only happened because of frank discussion on the topic and soul searching. You think I would’ve found that if I was told my life has no purpose because my views are such an insult to humanity that I’m bringing it down.
When you denigrate someone, they go defensive and run to what’s comfortable.
If comment is joking: I’m going to live a nice, long life so I can continue to piss you off.
My intention was to throw out a hard-edged joke that highlighted the two extremes of your beliefs. I’ve nothing against you.
That’s what I thought. Its seemed way out of character for you so I responded in a way that defended my view without directly insulting you. We’re good.
Comment on, Internet Friend. Comment on.
I do have your back Redshirt, not so much for your beliefs but for your right to have them. Some of the commenters here are radically left and don’t appreciate having their windmills tilted, so I can’t help but be Mr. Quixote every now and then. An open mind is a wonderful thing, and I respect everyone’s values even if i don’t agree with them. I haven’t always gotten that in return, but life goes on.
I know this website is left, as I have found with some impassioned responses to some comments.
I have never felt threatened by it, and me feeling comfortable sharing my views supports that.
Now if we can only lock all 536 people (senators, representatives and Trump) in the House Chambers and keep them there without food, water or heat/AC until they understand open dialogue and respect for other people’s views, then this country will be back on track.
yeah, because having a governing body of diverse ideology should be a strong point. Even though I am predominantly liberal (well, socially liberal and economically center-left), there are certainly going to be times when the conservative point of view may hold the key to solving a certain problem, or pointing out a certain reasoning flaw in a program.
No one ideology is going to be correct all the fucking time.
THAT I can get on board with.
That’s part of why I wrote my post yesterday. I understand some of the more vocal commenters are left but I don’t want this site to be considered left. I think we should be considerate of other people’s viewpoints and try to put ourselves in their shoes to increase understanding. That was my purpose yesterday, but it seems it was lost.
I read your post and agree with what you said. I had to submit a comment of course, but probably too late to matter.
Dude…I for one LOVE you. You say what does you. I respect this. ANYONE decides otherwise, that’s their choice. If anyone tries to hurt you or yours because of this they’re done to me.
You sound like a rural Kentucky/Georgia Demmycrat. Just need to move is all.
I prefer Open Minded Republican. I vote the person, not the letter next to their name.
Why belong to a party? GDI all the way!
That’s my fraternity from college!
Germany just elected an experienced capable leader but they got to elect a conservative-plural government she’ll need to coalition-build with. In short, we need multiple parties (and repeal of the congressional apportionment act).
That describes the Democrats. They’ve given up on abortion as a plank are are officially the conservative party in the U.S. The Republicans are insane fascists, but Democrats are conservatives, even if they call themselves (neo-)liberals or centrists or moderates, by any standard metric they are the Edmund Burke definition of conservatives. They want to maintain the status quo with incremental changes and an obsessive devotion to authority and hyper-capitalism. So, congratulations. You’re an ass-man now.
My son forgot that I work from home on Wednesdays-I heard him singing this tune from the top of his lungs this morning while he was in the shower. Thing is, when he was 3/4 years old I would crank this tune in the car and sing it in all kinds of weird voices and he would laugh his ass off.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQUlA8Hcv4s
smh bands liek this not possible any more after the ban on Chlorofluorocarbon,,, how is g*d supposed to see us now with no hole in the o zone?
Evening lizard people. It’s been a good day. I got my after-school job back (long story), and it’s SUNY Alumni Night at the Stadium so I got food and drink and seats and vouchers for two seats to a game next year and Hermana Weaselo’s here and she got her vouchers, so we’re making money on the deal because the booze was free. Woo!
I canNot imagine what it would be like to go to college in New York City.
Here in GB the stupidity is at defcon 2. I honestly don’t know what tomorrow may bring. The reds (who oddly say comrade instead of tovarisch) say now that Aaron is the antichrist made flesh.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oySZS9zm3jw&ab_channel=EliteP3ycho
PeyPey is, in fact, a moderate/Chamber of Commerce Republican.
You mean the kind that lose by 20 points in the primaries? Good thing Battleship Manning has name recognition.
If he picks the right state he can win and be every bit as horrible of a senator as possible.
He’s in Tennessee. I think he’s still a God there.
Until they change his microprocessor.
Kommentariat I kneel before thee unashamed, for none but you can cast judgment by which I care.
Is it wrong that my 20-something niece espouses idiocy, and while I COULD STRIKE DOWN UPON HER WITH GREAT VENGEANCE AND FURIOUS ANGER…I do not? I only said…
Hey. So…does this mean I get your spot in line for tix? And before you burn stuff…I’m a size Medium. Give them to me so I can donate them to those that NEED clothes. Like…kids? In Puerto Rico? Who are in fact American? Jesus wouldn’t like you denying kids. America!
Wrong?
If you could apply some ranch dressing to that word salad, maybe I could make sense of it.
Spahn Ranch dressing, maybe.
Go from “Hey…
Tell her JJ Watt loves TEH TROOPZ. Allejandro Villenueva was TEH TROOPZ. They don’t think TEH TROOPZ are being DISREESPECKTED.
Or, you could just tell her that’s awfully easy to get fauxraged when underlying social issues don’t affect you in any way.
Thank You for understanding.
Did you get told to stay in your lane?
Yes, kinda. But I’m not donny, so fuck that.
I wish more fans would be like LA and actually stop spending money on the NFL.
You should encourage this behaviour!
Just make an exasperated sigh, then conspicuously call your lawyer to update your will. She’ll get hers in
2010 years when she has to buy her own ashtrays!I think you handled it well
Acceptable wearing of one Canadian Tuxedo
No Pil hat.
8/10 would bang.