Your “Are We Having Fun Yet?” SNF Open Thread

I’m tired and grumpy.  And somehow also both drunk and hungover simultaneously.  That doesn’t seem fair, just sayin’.

And I hate teh Clots.  This could get interesting.

OK, maybe not “interesting” so much as “awkward”.

Just kidding.  I do hate the Clots, but I’m too tired to spew venom.  Or anything else, for that matter.  When they’re 1-3 later tonight, that’ll be good enough.

(but fuck the Irsays)

It’s been a long day of football.  A long weekend for those of us who also drug ourselves into catatonia with the college games on Saturdays.

But thank Christ we’re almost home.  Just one more game tonight and then we get a reprieve until next week.

(Hey Dumbass, there’s still MNF tomorrow!!!!)

Dammit.

/begins drinking moar heavily

//rolls a blunt

Indianapolis @ Seattle

8:30pmEDT – NBC

Tonight, the pride of the AFC faces off against the pride of the NFC in a contest which will be pivotal for…

Sorry, I can’t even finish that sentence with a straight face.

Tonight’s featured matchup pits two teams currently sitting at 1-2.  And deservedly so (just barely).

The Clots suck on both sides of the ball.  Or they have so far at least.  They barely managed to beat #thePauls last week at home.

The Hoxx haven’t really wowed anyone either yet, their lone win coming against the 69ers (you see where I’m going here, right?).  But their losses are at least slightly more respectable, and they even showed signs of finding some semblance of an offense last week at Tennessee.  They’ll find it at least a little more tonight, more than likely.  Problem for them is that their run D ain’t so stellar, so if the Clots can manage to get a run game going, they could chew up some clock and keep it close.  Then when things open up, Jacoby Brissett can pick his spots here and there in the air.

Either way, it’ll probably be a fairly ugly game.  Big shock, I know.

Vegas has this game Hoxx -12.5, o/u 42.

Pretty big line considering, and there is a reason for that.

But as much as I hate to say it, take the Clots and the points on this one (also probably take the under).

But I do still think the Hoxx win outright.  But even if they do it won’t be by much.  Is that OK with you, Pete?

If you missed earlier sessions today and need to catch up, here’s your Scoreboard.

Now get your degenerate butts into the clubhouse and say useless and offensive things we can all laugh at before our livers shut down later tonight.

Artist’s Conception….

(also nsfw)

CHEERS ASSDICKS!!!!!

Postscript….

You can all be very happy that unless Travis Kelce is able to tally up 28.09 pts for me tomorrow night, our good friend Don_T, who has undergone quite a bit of tribulations in the past few weeks thanks to weather….

Will have kicked my ass this week in FF without any utilities or electricity.

I can live with that.

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theeWeeBabySeamus
An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it's a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles. When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
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Cuntler

After losing to Pagano, Cancer has fired its coach and GM.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Due to turbulence, flight attendants were not able to serve for the beginning of the flight. So I only got five drinks in and was unable to fulfil SonofSpam’s instructions. I feel shame.

Unsurprised
WCS

Lil’er WCS, delivered at 01:17 EST. 7 lbs 11 oz.

Unsurprised

Congratulations!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Yaaaaaaaay! Is he/she named for Caesar?

Brick Meathook

Congrats!

Unsurprised

Is anyone else still around?

Unsurprised

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

TOO BAD HE CAN’T HAZ HAMBURGER.

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WCS

Alright. We’ve put this off about as long as we could. Time for Caesar to visit.

Senor Weaselo

We believe in you Lady WCS and Lil’er WCS!
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“OK, just let me know when you’re done.”

-Marcus Junius Brutus

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Also; I hope it goes well.

Unsurprised

Good luck.

Unsurprised

He’ll make a fine addition to the Black Hole when the Raiders move into their Vegas stadium.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

But enough about your prostate exam…

Unsurprised

Trying to reframe my whole life going forward is scary and stressful as fuck. I want to be a decent, social person and 37 years of bullshit and my own brain are fighting every step I try to make in the direction I want. I want to be social and hook up and do fun shit. I’ve looked at different IGs and it sucks how I’ve aggressively avoided ever being carefree or careless or just a kid when I was younger. I couldn’t afford to, and then make it even harder on myself in various ways. So I don’t know how to be fun or spontaneous. It sucks.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

IGs? You’re not going to learn to loosen up hanging around Inspectors General.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is it weird that I not only miss you all when I don’t want a game and comment, but I feel bad like I skipped out on an obligation?

Unsurprised

Yes, but we are all broken in the same way.

Brick Meathook

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Unsurprised

This feels like stolen valor for people willing to brave going to county or state fairs to deal with all the people there.

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Senor Weaselo

Plus, I’d spring for the Oreo churros in a heartbeat.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Funny, that’s exactly what they cost

Senor Weaselo

Was it me or did that last episode feel really short?

Romonobyl

What, are you my wife or something?

LemonJello

Hey, let’s do this all again tomorrow night!

Beastmode Ate My Baby

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Romonobyl

Well, YOU wanted your belly button pierced!

WCS

That’s certainly…. a .gif.

Unsurprised

I know that compared to my life his was awesome as Hell full of sex and drugs and cool shit, but seeing that guy is really sad.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

CLAM SHELL PASTIES!
CLAM SHELL PASTIES!
CLAM SHELL PASTIES!

WCS

I think the most 2017 thing about this season thus far is that the J-E-S-T have double the wins the Giants do.

SonOfSpam

2 =/= 2×0.

Gratliff

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

How much booze is too much to drink on an 80 minute connecting flight when I need to get up early for a work event?

SonOfSpam

Seven boozes is too much. Six is fine.

LemonJello

You should listen to SonOfSpam, he’s pre-med…

SonOfSpam

Pre-law.

Romonobyl

Either way, it’s best to be nearby when someone’s about to die.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Challenge accepted

Gratliff

Holy shit. Seattle put up 46?

WCS

Well, it was against the Clots, so let’s not start sucking each other’s dick quite yet.

hippofant

sucksucksuck TOO LATE! sucksucksuck

Romonobyl

With all that sucking, makes we wonder why they’re called blow jobs.

SonOfSpam

“WHEN????????????”

– Aaron Rodgers

Anthony In TX

All right, kids. Dryer’s done and so am I.
Thanks for making my first liveblog post-KSK thoroughly enjoyable. Y’all are the best and I’m glad you’re all here.
No, your living room is dusty!

Mr. Ayo
SonOfSpam

Kinda disrespectful to talk about Fred Dryer that way. But whatever, good night.

LemonJello

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SonOfSpam

CUNTER

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Gratliff

I have never dusted in my life. Not starting now

SonOfSpam

Don’t be a puss. Angel dust is weak sauce.

SonOfSpam

I’ll bet Lacy sweated out five pounds of cheese curds on that run. Still, GO FAT GUY.

Brick Meathook

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blaxabbath

Man – this is looking to be one of those seasons with like 4 good teams, 12 putrid teams, and everyone else just looking below average.

So pit or ne or gb will add to trophies and life goes on.

Viva La Tabula Raza

The US Army appears to be fighting the Master Control Program from Tron.

Mr. Ayo

Son of bitch! RIP Carson.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

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SonOfSpam

“He’s good. KILL HIM.”

– God

LemonJello

He’s on Brocky’s FF roster?

Mr. Ayo

Brocky probably got him off the waiver wire in week 2.

Anthony In TX

At this point I’m just watching YouTube videos for Sharon Van Etten and War on Drugs songs.

Anthony In TX

Mom?

Gratliff

Alright. Rick & Morty time. The last semblance of hope for entertainment this Sunday evening.

Dick E. Phuck

Thanks for reminding me.

Gratliff

Hoo boy. Certainly starts topical.

Anthony In TX

Finally got into that show a couple weeks ago. The burping in the first episode turned me off, but they really cut down on it and it’s a terrific show.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Still have to finish the Vietnam War. I watch, get pissed, take a break and repeat.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I watched the online explicit language version, because it seemed more realistic. Plus, that’s how I talk.

SonOfSpam

I got spoilers. Lemme know.

SonOfSpam

Pussy leftists didn’t have the will. Or something.

Romonobyl

It’s worth watching for the music if nothing else.

WCS

4th and 24? NFL BLITZ!

IronAvenger6491

Should of went for it, there’s no point not to at this point.

IronAvenger6491

How many years does Luck have on his contract with the Colts?

Dick E. Phuck

Did you ever see that episode of Black Mirror with Jon Hamm in it? It’s kind of like that.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

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IronAvenger6491

Something about 70’s/80’s visuals that i really love.

Just timeless.

Dick E. Phuck

It’s the hair, right? Gotta be the hair.

Romonobyl

That, and a bikini bottom larger than a Dorito.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Had to cover up that crow’s-nest of a bush somehow.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Speaking from experience, it sure seemed cutting edge at the time.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

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Dick E. Phuck

Is it normal to want to murder the people involved in making that ref Geico commercial.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I mean, not the crew. They are just trying to get by, man.

Dick E. Phuck

Yeah, of course. But the ad firm, the director, the actors, and Geico executives.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Yeah, as if a snooty place like that who don’t carry tater tots is gonna have nachos.

IronAvenger6491

so, how was everyone’s sunday?

i spent it by rewatching stranger things, cause i think watching the Giants right now might be too scary for me.

Dick E. Phuck

You made the right decision

IronAvenger6491

I see the Seahawks defense decided it was their duty to score.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The most frustrating thing about playing in the NFL for Luke Joeckel is that nobody will take him seriously.

Brick Meathook

Is every other commercial for this “Audible” horseshit?

blaxabbath

GOD YES

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’m sure it’s not unique, but the local ads here in SA at the quarters and halftime feature an ambulance chaser who sounds like just like Saul Goodman. I wonder if he does it on purpose.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Is his name Jake and do his ads feature the tagline “I’ll take Jake!”?

Viva La Tabula Raza

His name is Jeff Davis and his phone number is 444-4444. “The only number you need to remember is FOUR!”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Got it. Nine.”

– Trent Green

Anthony In TX

We’ve still got Jim Adler, THE TEXAS HAMMER in Houston. I remember when he was just the Tough, Smart Lawyer. Something changed and now he’s pissed.

Anthony In TX
WCS

Gene Simmons stole his act in Idiocracy.

Anthony In TX

Well, Mike Judge did spend time growing up in Houston.

Unsurprised

I’ve heard him interviewed and I genuinely respect Adam Reposa as a lawyer.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tBLTW-KLdHA

Viva La Tabula Raza

Austin not in San Antonio TV market, but I’ve seen his ads when visiting up I-35. We had/have a guy who vaguely resembles Jeff Lebowski, calls himself “The Dude,” “DWI Dude,” and “420 Dude.” But he got hisself into a bit of trouble:
http://www.mysanantonio.com/news/local/article/FBI-puts-DWI-Dude-lawyer-in-jail-11005000.php

Senor Weaselo

Without checking the link… was it for a DWI?

Viva La Tabula Raza

That would have been perfect, but no, money laundering and obstruction of justice with some Colombian clients.

Unsurprised

My hometown’s most famous DWI lawyer got caught DWI a year or two before I moved away, and it was glorious. I think he’s a judge now.

Gratliff

Yeah. That’s game.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Only reason I’m still with it is three fingers of single malt still awaiting my attention.

LemonJello

“Three fingers? That’s a whole handful!”
-JPP

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Want another finger?

Horatio Cornblower

I’m gonna make like Gregggggggggg and write “game over” in my notebook. Not because of anything that happened, but because I’ve lost interest and want to go to bed.

See you for the MNF hijinks.

Anthony In TX

As soon as the dryer’s done, I’ll join you.
Not in your bed, I mean. From your bushes.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

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