Good golly Miss Molly, the hits, they keep on coming! The western divisions of each conference get a tussle though one might be a wee bit more relevant that t’udder. TO THE GAMES!
SF/ARI: Carlos Hyde has a banged up hip but is expected to play. Still, look for rook rb Matt Breida to get at least 10 touches so that he can lighten the load. If the Niners running game falters then all is for naught because the graceless inadequacy of Bobby Hoying mans the qb spot. Cards qb Palmer had himself a game last week by leaning heavily on wr Fitzgerald. The faint hope among Arizony backers is that Carson can keep it going for a period of time.
Phi/LAC: Rb’s Blount and Smallwood (RIP, Tiny Darren) were happy to see the Chiefs KHunt tear the Chargers a new a-hole in the run game to the tune of 172 yards on just 10 carries. LA’s newest embarrassment is allowing an average of 146 yards per game on the ground. The over/under on the game is 43-that’s the line on how many paying customers will bother to show their pieholes at the game.
NYG/TB: These guys have but one win to show between them but share some ugly tendencies. The Giants lost on a 61 yarder as time expired and the Bucs were doubled up by the Vikes 34-17. All Pro cb Jenkins is back among the healthy and may have to take on Mike Evans. Eli Apple matches up better size-wise but not ability-wise. We’ll see. Perhaps Evans can do the G-men another solid like he did last year and drop the ball 4/5 times. I’m not holding my breath for that to happen though.
Oak/Den: Speaking of dropped passes, the league leader is one Amari Cooper with six. There will be an extra burden on him today because it looks as though cohort Crabtree is a no-go. Say a prayer for Broncs’ right tackle Menelik Watson-he’s given up a half-dozen sacks already this year and will be staring at Khalil Mack all game long.
Get it done, you rascally rascals.
Did Matthew McConaughey just appear in an ad for Wild Turkey on CBS on a Sunday at 2:00PM?
He needs a healthy buzz before jumping into that Lincoln.
tis a nice, solid car. America’s treasure will be fine!
Manny be good
Charles still has sommet
Sorry about my Ellington no-recommendation.
It’s ok, I said PIT over CIN though I guess they did get some sacks
I love that guy. He was way too underweight to carry as much as he did for the Chefs.
They needed a tight Khunt that could take a beating.
Don’t we all?
*sigh*
I only remember him getting like four touches per game when I owned him in fantasy.
I am in a deep bench league and super desperate. He got like 10-12 last week
JORDY NELSON: So what are you up to this weekend, Aaron?
AARON RODGERS: Taking my bitch down to Mexico.
RANDALL COBB: [quietly hands $20 to Jordy Nelson]
Greetings from Magee Woman’s Hospital in the Oakland section of Yinzburgh. Wifey’s in for another test for Lil’er WCS. We’ve done this test three prior, and Lil’er WCS has never passed. Whenever that happened, we had an ultrasound to show she’s okay. Today, they’re not going to do the ultrasound if there’s another failure; they’re going to deliver.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to chug some Wild Turkey and pop about six Xanax.
Also, FUCK THE RATBIRDS. HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA.
Best of luck to the missus and to you!
Best of luck for you guys.
go get your good luck road win baby!!
Interesting. Keep us posted.
Let us know and good luck.
Good luck, hope it all works out.
Go wifey and lil WCS! Shoot that gap (safely for both, of course). Best of luck, man.
Give wifey hugs.
But when this is over and everyone’s fine and has the proper number of fingers and toes, you and I need to have a talk about the FUCK THE RATBIRDS comment.
Dick.
Also, tell her to aim for the five hole. Murray will never see it coming.
(Sincerely, good luck my friend.)
Good luck!
You know what? FUCK IT. If me rooting for them is what finally gets them to lose like the losing losers I know they are, so be it. A pessimist is never disappointed.
ALL ABOARD THE JOSH MCCOWN TRAIN! We’re winning it all, baby!
THIS is some white hot Jets fanning
Long-term exposure to Jets football is very, very dangerous to one’s mental health. It’s basically a carcinogen.
So I guess this means Jets-Pauls has upgraded from Manos: The Hands of Fate to The Castle of Fu Manchu?
I’ve always been partial to Overdrawn at the Memory Bank.
I haven’t seen a Derby that far apart on the field since Secretariat won.
“It was The Belmont, Maestro.”
-That Guy
Where the fuck did that come from
Unlike the Patriots, that pitcher of margaritas Did It’s Job and it’s time for a nice little alcohol-induced nap.
Who’s got two thumbs and decided he should bench Cam Newton in favor of Tyrod Taylor this week?
This g–
/DOOR FLIES OPEN
//YAKUZA COMES IN
///YAKUZA CUTS OFF ONE OF MY THUMBS
Awwww
No, they cut off pinkies. So you’re okay!
Well, the first time anyway.
BFC became Pam Poovey so gradually….
Anybody else ever notice how severely underinflated the football Rodgers throws to his dog is? Two sets of rules in the NFL!
I’ve no idea who this Derby kid is but, HOLEE FUCKBALLS!!!
DONKS WOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“I Posed for the Smut Peddlers” is a great name for a punk band.
Why are the Giants playing like the Jets are supposed to be playing!!!!????
The NFC East may not be the monster we were all getting hyped for
Early returns are less than promising,
IS it 6 yet? I need to GTFO.
And the Yankees win….Theeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhh Yankees win.
(fuck you John Sterling)
You mean you don’t like “It is high, it far, it is… caught at the warning track.”
I actually like Sterling aside from his need for that I typed above, and his need to describe down to individual fibers what the unis the Yanks are wearing look like.
Ummmmm, John….they’ve got two sets, home and away. Been the same for like a billion years. We know what they look like. Have another drink.
I like Sterling more than Kay. Sterling’s act is part of the deal and while it can get a bit grating it’s better than Kay’s unwarranted arrogance.
It really sucks that I have to choose between Sterling and Michael Kay.
It’s like choosing between having to listen to nails scratching against a chalkboard or a goat screaming for four hours.
I’m okay with Michael Kay because he took the time to talk to Lil’ Senor one time after a game and give me an autograph. I had recently fractured my orbital because I was a dumbass and moved the plate in the batting cage rather than ask the person operating it to move the machine because everything was coming in high and tight.
JERTS? JERTS.
OT for JAX/NYJ should be handled with rock, paper, scissors.
But like an actual rock, paper, and scissors
But only the safety scissors.
It kinda has been, actually.
So much shenanigans on the double fake ghost reverse end around ipso facto magico screen fucking thing
That’s what you get for cheering for David Blaine.
I’m glad Zeke got to do his feed me bullshit, because that loss is worthy of a finger down the throat.
Eli is going to shit himself this game. Bucs are out for blood.
WILL THE GIANTS GET THEIR SHIT TOGETHER?
“NO”
-The Smart Money
Gints can’t run for shit. I love it so much.
“Go to your playmakers, is it Allen Hurns, is it Marquise Lee?”
I’m pretty sure it’s not Marquise Lee.
The traditional italian meal of Caesar salad and bull shark testosterone
Trying to figure out how to express my feelings about this Jets-Jags finish without making it into a rape joke.
Let’s Go Bucs, Bolts and KC!
Coincidence that I just put Marqise Lee on waivers literally 8 minutes ago?
Nope.
Wade used to coach for Dallas…now he’s with the Rams?!?!?!
CONFLICT OF INTEREST!!! NAWT FAYA…
Oops, channeled my inner Tawmmy there.
Now the Cowboys schedule gets really hard. FUCK!
At least there are the Giants.
At least Dallas loss somewhat cushions the blow of Pats loss (for me only, obviously).
Vice-versa for me.
Yeah, if everyone hated and loved the same teams this would be some pretty boring shit.
There are two other regulars who have sold their souls. Both loses make me happy.
Well, I’ve been pulling for the Pats and hating the Cowboys since about 1968 or 69, not much I can do to change at this point. Satan’s got me.
Good for you.
So unlike the vast majority of the people leaving Gillette this evening the names Grogan, Cunningham and Hannah actually mean something to you?
/Got hooked on the Staubach-Dorsett-Martin-White Cowboys.
Hoo boy. Tubby cheering as Cowboys lose evokes all sorts of fun memories
HAHA FUCK YOU COWBOYS
There’s a baby in here that sounds like that dinosaur in Jurassic Park that sprays Wayne Knight’s fat face.
Probably should’ve taken Birds as the eliminator pick
Jets ball, 5:12 left in OT thanks to 10-minute OT rules? Yeah, it’s gonna be a tie.
RAMIT question. Why they change helmet to white but keep gold/tan on unis? Looks like a kid was allowed to self-dress for the first time.
HOT TAEK: I like the white-horned helmets more than the previous ones.
A nod to the old LA era helmets. Agreed.
I get “why,” but WHY only halfway?
Prolly an officious NFL rule.
Because they wanted to sell more helmets but not jerseys, duh.
It reminds me of the Flyers anniversary uniforms from last year when they thought it would be cute to use giant ass gold numbers on an orange-white-black color scheme.
I too prefer the whites over the yellows
-Jerry Richardson
Seeing some crowd videos from Clippers-Iggles, and it’s easily 10:1 Eagles-Chargers fans.
Can Carson Palmer sink even lower? And if what just happened is any indication, I believe the answer to that question is yes.
Gentlemen. Just got to an airport lounge at LaGuardia. Did the Jets not get the tanking memo?
The issue is they’re trying to lose.
It took them three quarters but I think they figured it out!
You suck, Carson.
Anyone else guess strip sack when Redzone switched to the Clippers game?
It’s been a good day,
I got drunk as fuck last night
Woke up in my designated area.
I wasn’t hungover as fuck
Traffic was not as bad going north as it was going south.
I caught an entei
Listen to ESPN 1000 cover the patriots game because no one else is worth covering apparently.
Patriots lose in heartbreaking fashion
How are you all doing?
…Was the Entei any good? I didn’t get a single good Raikou, and the Entei I caught’s an 82%.
87.2
Could be worse, but I’m not going to complain
I’ve missed the noon slate. I see there’s been doings a’transpiring!
Dongs?
-A. Rodgers
Good.
Man I didn’t want to say anything to jinx it but watching New England lose, and to a FAHKIN’ DAHKIE(!) no less, just made my week.
Gano delivers the Blow!
And people think radio is dead
I am erect at the prospect of new Englanders complaining about the holding call.
There are 32 NFL teams, I accept complaints about officiating from 31 of them
The bitching on talk radio tomorrow will be glorious. And probably correct, because that seemed like a crap call on a running play, but it’s the Patriots and their bandwagon fans so fuck ’em.
Yes, they have a great point, never having benefited from a missed call before.
Tuck rule? Isn’t that something about Justin Tuck’s retirement pay-out? Anyway, I’ve never heard that phrase before.
-Any New England fan
TOUCHDOWN SEAHAWKS!
#FEEDFITZ