Your “Quick Turnaround” SNF Open Thread

We’re almost there, another Sunday in the books.  I hate this as much as you guys do, but the shitty week’s finish line is in sight.

But first we gotta get past this one tonight.

No, those aren’t my words.  That’s what I would expect to be overheard in the Gigantes’ locker room right about now.  Probably the front office, as well.

But take heart Giants, there’s always a chance to turn it around.

But probably not this week.  Sorry guys.

NYG @ Denver – 8:30pm – NBC

Injuries and record don’t affect Giants’ confidence (Giants.com)

Well, it should.

Already behind the 8 ball with an 0-5 start, the Giants’ injuries on both sides of the ball have piled up.  Among others, WRs OBJ, Dwayne Harris, Brandon Marshall and Sterling Shepard….all out.  And the bodies they replace them with will be facing the Donks’ top ranked defensive unit.  Sad Eli is sad.

They’ve also got plenty of wounded out on the defensive side of the ball.  As well as as the suspension of CB Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie (hide the furniture!!!!).

So I’m happy for the Giants that they are still able to at least lie about being so confident.  That’s commitment.

The Donks’ Trevor Siemian hasn’t exactly been tearing it up thru the air so far (though he’s had his moments), but that could change tonight against the Gigantes’ patchwork depth chart.  And even if it doesn’t, the Donks still should be able to run the ball, control the clock, and win this one without too much sweat.

But I think Siemian will use this opportunity as a springboard, at least for this week.

The Line : Donks -13.0, o/u 38

Take the Donks, give the points.

But don’t go anywhere near that o/u.  Not this week.

Here’s your scores from earlier today if you missed them.

Pssssst….There’s Also Baseball Tonight

  • Game Two | CHC @ LAD – 7:30pmEDT – TV: TBS (Dodgers 1-0 )

 

OK guys….here’s the playcall…

Drink on three….ready…..BREAK!!!!!

 

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theeWeeBabySeamus
An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it's a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles. When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
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Unsurprised

Ape’s “YOINK” was a perfect caption.

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ThePirateSloth

So I just picked up a bottle of Bookers bourbon. Holy fuck, is it delicious

Unsurprised

I’m on my way over.

Did you ever see that pirate ship drawing from the Oregon Brewers Festival I linked to a while back?

ThePirateSloth

No, I did not!

Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

This is pretty cool.

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scotchnaut

DARKWING!

King Hippo

getting dan-ger-ous FOAR Donks

scotchnaut

Poor O-line play? Check.

Unsurprised

That could literally describe any team except for the P*ts

Unsurprised

Do you want a broken elbow? Because this is how you get a broken elbow.

https://twitter.com/thecheckdown/status/919616879047483393

blaxabbath

“Do you SMEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLL what Detroit is cooking?!”

Yeah – those are tire fires.

Unsurprised

As opposed to the river being on fire in Cleveland.

Gratliff

That is a piss poor People’s Elbow.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLVSXiQeTDU

Gratliff

FYI, the sliding people’s elbow is the best of his career. Anything else is pedestrian at best.

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blaxabbath

Also, Matt Stafford is Mankind.comment image

Unsurprised

Stafford wishes he was ever that skinny.

WCS

And his cholesterol level is The Undertaker.

blaxabbath

Well, Arizona continues it’s agenda to control its own destiny before unexplainably shitting the bed in late December, making the whole season nothing other than an exercise to blow their ability to draft a QB at the top of next year’s draft.

And since my FF team is going up in flames, I’m really just hear to say hi.

Unsurprised

Something about Arizona snowbirds who should all fucking die.

blaxabbath

They hate the very existence of our public school system.

Romonobyl

So did the Jet’s score a game-changing touchdown?
“Basically almost, but you’re doing great.”

blaxabbath

Jerry Jones is a fascist.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

@Hippo please don’t take any of the nasty things I say tonight about the Broncos seriously or personally.

King Hippo

no worries, dude. I will be yelling at the teevee box, and I will only yell at you in a make-with-teh-jokes way, promise

Romonobyl

Nobody was ever that polite to me during a Cowboy’s game.

/sniff…

Gratliff

I wish only the worst possible things on the mothers of all Cowboys fans, no disrespect.

Brick Meathook

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

McManus. Top notch entry man. Shitty kicker, though.

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WCS

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King Hippo

I grudgingly like this because excellent callback. No idea what is giving our kicker the yips, he was like our best footballist last season (non-Black Hipster category).

Doktor Zymm

All kickers in the NFL are pretty much the same, but there’s a certain element of luck involved and they can either just have a bad run or get in their own heads and fuck up. The only real difference is range. But good last year probably equals mean reversion this year. This is Zymm theory of kickists.

scotchnaut

Thank goodness for little mercies.

King Hippo

oh godfuckingdamnit

Unsurprised

Heya

Doktor Zymm

Yo

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Patriots would have gotten a flag for that.

King Hippo

NO SHIT THEY WOULDA

King Hippo

Charles with one helluva block

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

But enough about that time Josh Charles advised Sabrina Lloyd not to take that meeting with Harvey Weinstein.

Romonobyl

Hippo, to answer your fly-zapper question a few threads ago, this thing will nuke whatever goes it’s way. I put little pieces of ‘naner in the bottom tray to attract the fruit flies, worked like a champ.

King Hippo

I will buy that fucker next spring, then

King Hippo

This may also become a nice Kwanzaa gift for various family members

blaxabbath

Maybe that’s what my zapper is missing. Fucking flies just cruise around avoiding it as if they understood that it means their death.

JustStopDude

I love General Electric commercials. They are about as accurate in describing working for GE as Michael Bey films are at describing reality.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The reason why the GE shareholders love Molly so much is because her robots allowed them to lay off more than 40 workers and bumped their stock value by 0.001%.

WCS

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Doktor Zymm

I totally thought you were going with a different definition of Molly before reading the second half of that

Doktor Zymm

Data is holding up, I think it was checking scores that used a chunk of it, cause ads

Romonobyl

Nothing like a good shot of ManningFace. That’s the same expression Fredo always got whenever Mama got a bad head cold.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The music from this King Kong Volkswagen commercial is the same as from the ending credits of Boogie Nights.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

What I’m saying is that I’m not used to hearing that song without having seen a giant prosthetic dong first.

Doktor Zymm

That’s some Pavlovian shit right there

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“I’m a star.” [that’s it, that’s the end.]

– Brett Favre

King Hippo

Do a giant prosthetic dong dance for this missus, surely that gets you out of burble? Especially is company is over.

Doktor Zymm

Huh, in German it’s spelled ‘Moscau’

Doktor Zymm

Correction ‘Moskau’

Romonobyl

Yeah…I was about to say something.

Romonobyl

These are the nights I regret not working evenings anymore. I gotta limit myself because I don’t do the hangover thing all too well these days.

King Hippo

mine seem to last until like 4-6pm now

King Hippo

It’s nice when a defensive TD changes the feel of the match and triggers ManningFace. I’m just sayin, Von and pals…

King Hippo

A Derby catch for Scotchy

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So I’m expecting to get into deep bourble tonight.

King Hippo

you lost at home to the Shitty Clippers, you owe BOLTMAN! at least that much

Gratliff

Love the Woodstock VW nostalgia pitch for that hot 60-85 demographic.

Brick Meathook

Oh that was for the 20-somethings, and they don’t even know it.

Senor Weaselo

These millennials these days want their Smart cars and their… I can’t finish that sentence, Smart cars are the bane of existence. Also that Scion iQ from across the street that parks on our block which is already enough of a pain in the ass to get parking when we’re not getting sideswiped by whoever.

Romonobyl

Too bad they never realized that was all the courtesy of Hitler.

Doktor Zymm

That’s the beauty of it being the hippie car of choice. Also serial killers, but that makes more sense.

King Hippo

Ted Bundy FTW!

Doktor Zymm

I occasionally drink at John Wayne Gacy’s favorite bar

King Hippo
King Hippo

I thought for a minute Our Equine Lord and Saviour had the same mango cap as me, but the bill of mine is navy.

Doktor Zymm

I’m just about out of data, I probably won’t buy more, so I’ll cath up with you suckers on the ground later on

WCS

Enjoy.

King Hippo

why are we getting good Elisha?

Doktor Zymm

That can’t last a whole game

IronAvenger6491

Don’t worry, there’s a whole 2nd half for derps!

WCS

Well that’s why the Giants can’t score… Mike Sullivan can’t coach them and the Penguins at the same time.

herodotus450

I bet the penguins are mad about losing Fluery who is–
(checks wobsite for record)
just placed on IR…

King Hippo

a giant piece of merde?

King Hippo

Darkwa Duck ain’t supposed to catch passes

Doktor Zymm

*looks at earlier game scores*
Football is quite odd

King Hippo

Odder than usual today. I could have used 2 cigarettes after RedZone today.

/sometimes hate that smoking never did nuttin’ for me

Gratliff

Garret Boles mumbling through that role call legit sounded like he called himself Goebbels.

King Hippo

He has flashbacks sometimes

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

A young Roger Moore single-handily defeats the entirety of Chairman Mao’s navy.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That junk doesn’t float, pal.

WCS

Well, not anymore…

Doktor Zymm

Good morning! I like how Yahoo thinks there’s a 2 percent chance that Delanie Walker will score -12 or so points. Anyway, time to watch y’all watching football!

WCS

Good morning? Kegs ‘n eggs it is, I guess.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

Gonna be real interesting when the Giants win by 24.

King Hippo

Shut your whore mouth or I will pull for the Cubs

/will NEVAR do that

//unless they play the SAWX

///then will just kill self

WCS

loogat the triggared snowflaek

King Hippo

This wuz supposed to be safe space ,, mah RA told me so

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

I hate to praise Andy Reid…but he was right to go for the TD. The game flow changes if they take the chip shot, you can’t just assume PIT punts and they get that quick score. VERY unlikely. Plus field position is very different, etc.

WCS

I, for one, enjoyed the decision.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Me too; they would have had the lead after the touchdown. One of the few times he’s been reckless/ over aggressive.

King Hippo

But even if you just do a yards for yards thing – PIT’s next drive would have ended in FG range had they started from their 25 instead of their 3 (they punted from between KC’s 40-45, IIRC).

By far the most likely scenario is PIT goes up 15-6 and kicks off. At least Andy paid his money and took his shot.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Nope, the offense was getting it going and you have to go with that. KC moved the ball right down the field and scored a TD; your scenario is not as likely.

King Hippo

Defenses are always softer in the NFL late with a 2-score lead, too. We saw that the one time KC had it down one score.

You can’t just be addition and subtraction with it. I would have taken the FG on 2nd and 1 from the 23 for sure, probably from the 13…but from the 3 you have to try to get 7. The maths (in my view) dictate it.

King Hippo

but it wouldn’t be crazy to kick FG or anything, I just think Reid deserves support for making a ballsy call (that was probably mathematically correct).

King Hippo

oh, Von gon’ force some ManningFace, buhlee dat!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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technodanvan

I’ll bet that thing is great for getting that itch you can never reach.

King Hippo

You ready FOAR THIS!!???@@

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Thank you PittsBLEERG

WCS

I can’t wait for Rodgers’ injury to allow the Vikings to run through the division, and then miss a 25-yard field goal down two at the buzzer in the Divisional Round, and be able to watch Drew literally burn all of DC down as a result.

King Hippo

or the Bearistocrats, allowing Foxy to unveil the wing-T for the playoffs

King Hippo

/Fat Stafford is interested in the possibility of extra meal money

Duchess
Wakezilla

So, the NFL is cancelling the season after monday night, in tribute to Aaron Rodgers, right?

His injury is clearly worse than 9/11

King Hippo

I seem to have a minor scraped knuckle wound. Perhaps in my parenting angst, I punched a wall last night, in my sleep, or this morning thanks to Everton?

/episode #175 in “Why Hippo Doesn’t Own A Gun Despite Being Southern”

Wakezilla

” minor scraped knuckle wound ”

Jackin it on the carpet again?

King Hippo

nah, I wouldn’t be jackin’ it with all this football on

#OldManPriorities

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Houston and New York in a battle of bats and angry men. It’s like the Dallas Buyers’ Club.

Shogun Marcus

Highly likely to win FF.
Against Don T.
Because he has Rodgers.
I also have jordy and montgomery.
Bleh.

King Hippo

so….savour your last win?

Shogun Marcus

I am reminded of the words of the great clerk Dante Hicks. I’m not even supposed to be here today.
/had no ff interest prior to dfo. Goddamn ye merry gentlemen (and ladies).

King Hippo

it is the best and worst thing to ever happen to one

Romonobyl

And you have electricity and unlimited fresh water.

hippofant

Jesus Christ, that’s a stupid asshole question from Peter King. How about, “My life isn’t a fucking morality play for you to get your condescending writer nuts off on. It’s my fucking life. I’m a football player, not Jesus Christ.”

JustStopDude

Its really fitting to see all these “should be retired” players in Arizona today having success.

It was like watching an episode of “Golden Girls” but with more child abuse references.

Redshirt

With so many ex-Bengals, I half-joked it was a Bengals Recovery Halfway House.

blaxabbath

Arizona is a bit of Oakland East or Las Vegas South lately.

King Hippo

Donks WOO!!!!!!!!

/getting ready early

clint greasewood

Take a shot evert time “Manning Face” makes an appearance.

Brick Meathook

DRINK
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ballsofsteelandfury

This thread is going to turn into a baseball thread so quickly, it’s not going to be funny.

Senor Weaselo

But we can make it funny!

Brick Meathook

It can be somewhat funny.

King Hippo

el beisbol can eat todos los dicks

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