NFL News:
- Ezekiel Elliott gets to play Sunday against the [Redacteds].
- The NFL was denied an expedited preliminary injunction in advance of the October 30th hearing into their appeal of the injunction related to a different appeal.
- The earliest Zeke can be sidelined is November 5th.
- The NFL was denied an expedited preliminary injunction in advance of the October 30th hearing into their appeal of the injunction related to a different appeal.
Vontaze Burfict will not be suspended for his kick to the helmet Sunday into Steeler’s RB Roosevelt Nix.
- He’ll probably just be fined.
- FYI – whatever happened to KSK Kommenter Vontaze Me Bro? Is he hanging with Otto Man? Wither Sarah Sprague?
- Texans LT Duane Brown has ended his holdout, and expects to play & not be traded.
- He wanted out of the remaining two years of his deal, feeling his efforts were under-appreciated (i.e. – money).
- Key injuries from Sunday:
- Joe Thomas (Browns) – torn triceps. Prognosis: done for year.
- Jay Cutler (Dolphins) – cracked ribs. Prognosis: out indefinitely.
- Matt Slauson (Chargers) – torn biceps. Prognosis: done for year.
Finally, in case you didn’t see it (HA!), lots of people had fun with last night’s Fog Bowl II.
There were the serious,
Fog Bowl 1988
Fog Bowl 2017 pic.twitter.com/iUsAGJK0Ij— Andrew Siciliano (@AndrewSiciliano) October 23, 2017
the serious,
https://twitter.com/xmasape/status/922278080974086145
the ridiculous,
I can't be the only one who saw the Patriots assistant buying the fog machine at Party City Friday. Just can't be
— Anthony Gulizia (@AnthonyGulizia) October 23, 2017
and the idiotic.
FOG=3 letters
Take the alphabet and configure the letters to numbers
take F(6)+ O(15)+G(7) =28
Falcons blew a 28-3 lead in #SB51 pic.twitter.com/PBihZ5T08U
— Patriots Militia (@PatsMilitia) October 23, 2017
Sometimes, when he’s bored, Internet Dad will let me clear out the spam filter, because he knows I have no credit cards and thus can’t be swindled into paying for whatever boondoggle is offered our way. (Pfft – “Help Puerto Rico”?) After all, it’s important to keep people like Russians & carpet dealers from interrupting our enjoyment of dick jokes & Moose gifs.
Last night, however, we were almost treated to this in the Open Thread
I had so many questions: (sadly, not 25)
- Who were these girls?
- Where were they incarcerated?
- How desperate are they?
Sadly, what I thought was a clickbait-dream turned out to be nothing more than a spam site offering cheat-codes for a fee. Why, it wasn’t even worth running around the school board filter to try & access. TRY HARDER, COMMIES!
Game preview: Washington at Philadelphia
It seems funny now that this game is, for all intents, probably the deciding game for the NFC East this season. The Ginats have been out of it since Week-3, and the Cowboys are reverting to the 8-8 Jason Garrett mean. If Washington has any hope of making the playoffs as a wild card (at minimum), they need to go into the Eagles house & smash in their teeth like the Eagles did to them Opening Sunday.
Carson Wentz has blossomed into a possible real-deal in his second year under Doug Pederson. The offence has been expanded each week, as Wentz’s skill set shows he’s ready for a broader range of QB options. Receivers like Alshon Jeffrey & Torrey Smith help compensate for the learning curve, and Zach Ertz has become the Eagles’ Travis Kelce as Wentz’s reliable check-down option. The defence is solid yet unremarkable, as they really have yet to be tested; the hardest game they’ve had was against Carolina, and they bounced Newton all over that field.
Meanwhile, future-other-team’s QB Kirk Cousins is both playing for bonuses & auditioning for roles elsewhere, so look for him to sling the ball all over the field, to whomever’s healthy enough to be in the lineup. And speaking of healthy, there’s no Josh Norman for the foreseeable future, so good luck covering the deep route. All they can really hope for is to run the ball & eat the clock, because they will lose an air war with the Eagles.
Prediction: Eagles by 10.
Tonight’s sports:
- NFL:
- Washington at Philadelphia – 8:15PM | ESPN / TSN
- en espanol en ESPN2
- Washington at Philadelphia – 8:15PM | ESPN / TSN
- NHL:
- Sharks at Rangers – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
- NBA:
- Raptors at Spurs – 8:30PM | TSN2
- WWE
- Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
- last night’s PPV was a schmozz due to viral meningitis & mumps bringing down a bunch of scheduled wrestlers, so they have to work their replacements into the canon. Or not. Either way, it ought to be a blast figuring out.
- Also, they’d better follow-up on this:
- Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
FOR EVERYONE’S SAKE!
They say “deeply religious family,” I hear “uninformed Trump voters.”
I wish God would pay more attention to the Big Picture than fiddle-fucking around with individual family’s issues. There’s people starving and all.
That’s right that fuckface Serge Ibaka is still on the Raps. Eat shit and die from dysentery Serge. XOXO
-Spur
you talk Portugeuse a lot ,, smh
All that AT&T commercial tells me is that hipsters can’t figure out their clothes sizing worth crap.
/yeah I know it’s deliberate – still looks dumb
The worst part about being in my late 20’s/early 30’s as an undergrad were all the kids asking me what cool store I bought my cloths from.
Um…Its called being broke and completely obvious to fashion.
There was a student at my uni who wore really snappy suits to class (no, not a business major). One of his instructors asked him about it – apparently, he had hellaciously good luck at thrift shops. (He wasn’t the biggest guy, which probably helped.)
Hipsters deliberately doing things that look dumb is actually a pretty accurate cultural depiction
I nod in your general direction and will shake a fist at a cloud in solidarity (once the sun comes back up)
/the new lady seems cool
I don’t look this good and I’m 15 years younger than her.
Don’t feel badly. With boobs and a vajayjay, she kinda had you beat already anyway.
I’m pretty sure my boobs are bigger than hers.
I’m sure your tits are just as kissable.
/Truth Biscuit’s ears start burning
It’s so weird watching DC play competent defense.
“As far as big busts are concerned, I must defer to Josh Doctson.”
-Christina Hendricks
I miss McNabb.
I learned today that all four high school football teams in Carbon County, WY are going to the playoffs. It must be hard growing up in a government camp as a ‘resident’ of a fake state
That’s where all the FEMA Internment Camps are.
In keeping with his policy of undoing every single thing Obama did, I’m surprised that Trump hasn’t demolished all those FEMA camps that the previous president had built to incarcerate the conservatives.
Fuck Wyoming.
There is 1 escalator on the state. Why do they get 2 senators?
Where did they get enough people for four high school football teams? Or four high schools?
Small schools. One of my college roommates was in a senior class of 14. Illinois, though.
Where I live, they have this really outdated format that often results in 2-8 or 1-9 schools making the playoffs. No fooling.
So did they get laid in Highschool?
No, but only because of his religion. Which quickly changed in college.
I grew up in Carbon County, Utah and our high school football team, the Carbon Dinosaurs have won a total of thirteen games in the last nineteen years! I don’t even know why they still have a team! My junior year team where I punted and played third-string guard was the last team that went .500!
I went to a high school of about 3000 people, and in my four years there they won 2 games, one of which was a forfeit. No idea how they’ve done since then though. Everyone tried to play us for homecoming
None of the kids on the current team were alive the last time we won a homecoming game.
Is Pryor dead?
Nah, Cousins just hates him
Sounds familiar.
Damn. https://imgur.com/fioqkcY
oh shit, we all get to watch the Chefs jizz all over Trevor’s broken corpse a week from tonight. In Arrowhead, no less.
I read an article yesterday about more girls playing football and I just wonder “Why?”
Did you ever watch ‘Mean Girls’?
Pretty much all through high school.
I mean, good for the “schools” and NFL since fewer boys are playing?
they can be just as pointlessly stupid as boiz now!
/would have given anything to play Greater Footy, damn my late growth spurt
I don’t think you missed much.
The Spurs seem to be having problems with the Raptors. Every time they call a TO, Pop is yelling. i feel like he’s yelling at me.
He’s yelling at all of us. But mostly at Trump.
Sure, Vernon Davis is a great fubaw player…but did he ever play basketball…?
Kirk is one of them “great between the 20s” QBs, huh?
Yeah, he’s great between 20 and 29 seconds of every minute
Too bad the play clock lasts 40.
Pook ook.
GERROFF MY LOG
Brian Mitchell was the last Slurs QB I respected
I was listening to that Monday nighter on my bedroom clock radio growing up. Fucking glorious.
I almost edited out the “my” so that it has the right number of syllables, but I didn’t. I was wrong.
They see me rollin’
They hatin’
I want to meet the person with a 300’s credit score. A property manager at a complex I once lived in told me that a person who applied to live there had one, but that person obviously didn’t live there.
It seems like if you have the capacity to know what credit is and check your score, you’re at least in the 600s
So, the south park underwear gnomes? The missing step was “sell on ebay”
Or Japan.
I’m okay with a FG battle
I want to see one with non-FG-kickers. Not regular ones, anyway – say, Jeff Heath vs. a rugby guy or something.
Didn’t Suh attempt a FG a few years back? Emergency kickers are the best
Yeah, looks like he used to not be half-bad at it. Must be why he can’t help but kick other things too – just give the guy a few tees, a ball, and a net, and problem solved.
Chad Johnson would crush all of them while simultaneously saving the US Men’s Soccer team.
promise him CarBoat and make it so!
Chippy, drink!
i like Junior Galette because he reminds me of a small french potato cake
I hear his name and think of tiny safety razors.
The best a man can get?
The best a kid can get. Because they’re junior razors.
I didn’t want to mention men and boys in the same sentence.
and then you just did ,, smgdh
Who angered BLEERGH?
Week 7
Who didn’t?
Philly lead = MOAR Cousins forward passing efforts = PROFIT
That’s better.
I’m drinking, too. Makes for extra whimsical nature.
So the run at the beginning of Rocky? The one where the kids all run with him? If you map it out it’s like 30 miles and crosses major freeways and the river and rr tracks and such.
not too much FOAR a motivated White man, missy!
Wasn’t that like two hours into the second movie?
the world was smaller in the ’70s, ppl forget that
No videos game or internet in ’79. Kids were in shape.
all this BLEERGH, Philly needs to play the Rocky theme over the PA and remind the refs they represent the oppressed White man
Warning labels don’t stop the stupid, they just provide a bit of liability protection
First, SHOOT ALL TEH LAWYERS!
Gruden is not a disciple of BLEERGH.
“Have they showed cheese steaks or Rocky?” – J. Graham, basketball player
Doesn’t “a fist fight on Broad Street” describe every night in Philadelphia?
This Just In-
Deuce Gruden has a tiny penis.
Dear God, Sick the Deuce loose.
Urge to write post…..rising….
Gah. Stupid erratic heartbeat is pissing me off. Vodka? Probably. I think it’s one o’ them old-timey cure-alls that respected physicians would sell out of the back of their covered wagons…
You might be in shock, you should keep warm and have a cup of tea and a tot of booze
It’s an allergic reaction to the neighbors getting their trees trimmed this morning. Stupid trees…
If you reduce it to 0 then technically it’s not erratic anymore…
Ok, so this game is a shitshow, but a different kind of shitshow than I was expecting.
It’s like…lemur shit instead of killer whale shit or something. I mean, orca shit must be awful right? But they live in the ocean which is basically the toilet of Earth, so we probably never had to deal with it until someone built sea world
Looks like we got a Deuce Gruden out there, so maybe that.
Look, we’re not judgemental, but if you’re gonna watch German porn…
“Where I come from they’re all the same, baby.” [takes slow drag on hand-rolled cigarette]
-Jaded Waste Management Engineer
(Sees Logan Couture scored for the Sharks, tries desperately to hold back haute couture joke)
(Can’t)
The Sharks drafting Logan Couture was such a fashionable decision at the time, but it will no doubt look dated and cheesy in a few decades.
Speaking of Sharks, what’s up with CB?
She’s been really busy, thanks to the Cali fires.
Her flint and steel budget must be through the (burned and charred) roof!
via GIPHY
“Washington dodged a bullet.”
Lincoln, however, did not.
No, it’s the JFK papers this week!
These JFK Assasination papers I call them the Washington Nickname on DFO, because they are all [*Redacted] s.
Someone pointed out today is that was can conclude most of the big government conspiracies aren’t true because as soon as Trump knew about aliens, he’d tweet about them.
He hasn’t tweeted about Wyoming, which proves it doesn’t exist!
Zymm, I showed you a picture when I was at the border, and I quit hallucinogens as far as I remember.
Yeah, and I ‘drove through’ Wyoming today. Proves nothing.
No way would he tweet about them, because he are one. (See: They Live)
What am I? Chopped Liver?
– James Garfield
Inorite?????
-William McKinley
http://www.harkavagrant.com/historynonsense/garfieldfinal.png
“This chick can’t even remember my first name!”
-Pierce
(Franklin?)
nah, I think it was LeRoy
Benjamin Franklin Pierce. Not that he ever used that first name, which was why.
[insert indirect Last of the Mohicans reference here]
Petronel gets it. Plus good excuse for a good piece of music.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9tjdswqGGVg
hey, you try getting a pink dress cleaned after that
– Jackie K. (nee O.)
lol slurs
I *still* can’t figure out how the Bears are 3-4.
Underrated movie.
So far Arm Punt was play of the game for Philly
Okay, we’re a few minutes into the game and the Eagles aren’t ahead by 2+ scores. My worst fears are assuaged
I hate to use these words, but … This is too much head. https://imgur.com/sIBvtV0
ARM SHANK
Arm punt FTW