Your “Tumble In The Jungle of the Meadowlands” Thursday Night Football Open Thread

The Astronauts did a thingy last night according to spurts pages everywhere. When do you think they’ll come back down to earth? Will Buzz Aldrin officiate at the wedding between that guy and his girliecake? How much motorboating will Verlander do this off-season? More than the usual amount? The questions are many. The answers are tedious.

Perhaps now we can engage in a real sport. Where my Church League Volleyball homies at? Saint Lucia of the Caribbean looks stacked this year!

Okay, I was actually talking about The Hockey. One may be interested in the 10-win Lightning hosting the NYR or the Blues doing the Flyers. The best game (“Northern Ontario Bias” detected…) should be the Mighty Senators (coming off an 8-3 drubbing) taking on the Red Wings.

Is there anything else that I’ve neglected to cover? Hmm… Oops! TO THE GAME!

Bills @ Jets- The Hippster (King Hippo) and I have both made passing mention of a Bills D that-right now-is a force to be reckoned with. They’re giving up an average of 16 points per game and have forced a ridiculous 13 turnovers in the last 4 tilts. Giving the ball back to an offense that loves them the ball control has paid dividends so far. Unlike in years past, the front office recognized that they needed some semblance of a play-maker at wideout and traded for The Kelvinator. (Yeah, trading away Watkins created this issue but whatever) It’s been back and forth as to whether he’ll be activated for the game,”But it ain’t that hard to throw a jump ball to a 6’5″ 240 pounder in the end zone”, says me. If the Billies get the V they are first in the AFC East again and occupy 2nd overall in the conference-second only to the Stillers. Don’t look down, Sean McDermott and them Buffalo backers out there-you might get a tad dizzy. If Alfred Hitchcock taught me anything-and he didn’t-it’s that it’s a long way down from these heights.

Do your worst in the comments.

 

 

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
460 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Brick Meathook

I saw this exact photo when I was a kid and have been searching for it for about 10 years now. Wow.

Wakezilla

Lesser footy Liouns and Lesser Footy Seahawks are just holding the ball for 120 minutes.

MLS should make it a rule that there mist be a winner in each leg. That way we don’t have teams content with playing with themselves for 240 minutes because they are waiting for penalty kicks in the 2nd leg

Wakezilla

Perfect timing. LF c-hox take 1-0 lead. Caps actually have to try now!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

She fucking bashed that damn monster.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Mr. Ayo

All time legend

Viva La Tabula Raza

“At this time, all annoying drunk fans in the stadium please make your to the vicinity of the NFL Network set.”

—PA announcement at two minute warning.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Sanduski was able to invest in a towing company before going to jail.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

So even the Jets can Jet this one up….right?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

Hot chicks dig mufflers. You can meet a lot of hotties hanging out at the local Midas or Meineke.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

Looks like this picture was taken back when America was Great. No wonder so many people want to Make America Great Again.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Early 60s; Kennedy was a libtard.

Maybe you are right; before the Civil Rights Act of 1964….. yeah, that sounds about right.

Doktor Zymm

түнүңөр бейпил болсун,bitches and non-bitches (self-sort appropriately)

The Maestro

Literally just got to the bar after my hockey game ended and WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK. I literally just got my beers. I am not drunk yet. These Jets are an inside job and this score can’t be real.

theeWeeBabySeamus

OK, back to the salt mines I guess.
Otherwise you perverts won’t have softcore porn to look at tomorrow night.

Night folks.

Doktor Zymm

Salt mines are actually pretty amazing, see : Wieliczka

theeWeeBabySeamus

I like caves.
I also like the word “spelunking”. It’s fun to say and fun to do.

Doktor Zymm

Agreed!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It’s late; won’t go with the mom joke at this time.

theeWeeBabySeamus

You disappoint me.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, your mom certainly didn’t say that.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Sez you!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

When I was a kid, I was much more into the Marvel comics than DC. But this Justice League movie has me intrigued. Of course, they’re probably showing the best lines in the trailer, like usual.
I did like “What’s your superpower?”
“I’m rich.”
How trumpian.

...

Alright. I think I’m going to bed to dream of antifa supersoldiers beheading small business owners in America’s town squares on Saturday. Hope it’s over before the best Lesser Footy games.

Doktor Zymm

Okay, Jets win, I’ll finish this wine tomorrow.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Quitter

Doktor Zymm

This is kinda old fashioned Jets, like good defense not quite revis island jets but similar without the stunning individual talent

Doktor Zymm

Or maybe the Bills are just derping the derp derp derp

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Doktor Zymm

Lovely composition and fall colors, but women aren’t instinctively sleepy after an orgasm, kind of the opposite most of the time. Also, the shading on that plug in the outlet is weird.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’ve known some women who were sleepy after orgasm, and some who were energized, and in between. The blanket is partly over the outlet. Critiquing an art joke in this manner is weird.

Doktor Zymm

Fair enough. Still not seeing the outlet thing though. Also, she’s super tall!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I don’t think the cordless would have been as funny to Sir Frederic Leighton or Tesla.

Doktor Zymm

Agreed. I think it’s just the difficulty of including an odd shape like a three-pronged plug without a live model representation. But yeah, I do tend to take things to far and this falls into that category so I’m gonna go to sleep before I head to Amazon, order a Hitachi and a bunch of gauzy fabric and attempt to recreate this.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Leighton is dead, but you can just use your camera timer. The painting is “Flaming June.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

[Wonders if Frederic Leighton use French girls for models….]

comment image

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Are the Jets going to Jets away this game or can I stop watching?

Fronkenshteen

Austin. Seferian. Barnidge. You know you want to, McCown.

Fronkenshteen

Piss

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Brick Meathook

comment image

Doktor Zymm

Who’s Unsportsmanlike? Hughes Unsportsmanlike!

Seriously though, what the hell just happened?

Doktor Zymm

Just call em laundry specialists cause they all about the SPOTS

Fronkenshteen

What a RAC.

Fronkenshteen

WHERE WAS THE FUCKING HOLD?!?!11?!?!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

– me, screaming at my E-Trade account page

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh, that’s good.

Doktor Zymm

Apparently the French do not have enough butter to make good croissants. Facebook serves amazing croissants for breakfast (seriously, these will be my downfall. I will never work for someone who can’t keep me in delicious croissants ever again). I think the dollar should be valued higher than the Euro on this evidence alone.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Tony Romo has to spend every game thinking about how much smarter he is than Catler

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Guess who started that stupid fumbling tight end in fantasy?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

scotchy?

Fronkenshteen

Please ASJ?

Doktor Zymm

Ok. This is both hilarious, and justification for “play through the whistle”.

...

I don’t know how many of you still bother with Deadspin anymore, but I really like almost anything written by David Roth and I think y’all will too:

https://deadspin.com/the-nfls-stupid-pizza-wars-were-always-coming-1820092109

Fronkenshteen

Is he new? I thought his flag-burning piece was tremendous

...

He’s a recent add to the Deadspin staff but he’s been writing great stuff for a while.

...

I think what I like most about this piece is that it illustrates so well the utter pointlessness of being rich.

Doktor Zymm

There’s a tipping point. Once you’re rich enough to
a) not have to work
and
b) be able to pay anyone to solve a problem without considering the alternatives (aka pay an electrician vs fix it yourself, or buy a new ticket without calling customer service)
then, further money is pointless unless you charity or something, but that’s a pretty high bar, and a pretty important one

Doktor Zymm

Can you get into the HOF without ever being on a good team? Isn’t succeeding on shitty teams more impressive than succeeding on a team where you have support and coaching?

deviantBastard

Exhibit A: Barry Sanders

Fronkenshteen

Tony Gonzales? Anthony Muñoz?

...

I have no dog in this Thursday Night game but I think the Bills have a better shot of making the playoffs than the Jets do and therefore I do not like this score.

deviantBastard

Who presents more of a “challenge” to the Pats?

Wakezilla

Injuries

...

They’ll both collapse under the mere gaze of Brady, so… the Dolphins?

...

comment image

...

I’M BACK ON MY BULLSHIT

Fronkenshteen

Copycat league. Take away Shady & make Tyrod beat you through the air.

Wakezilla

Isn’t that the strategy all teams have employed thus far? You’d think so.

Spur

I need more Buffalo field goals of 40+ yards.

Fronkenshteen

Well you can just go straight to heck, mister!

Wakezilla

“I could have used just one more”

–Scott Norwood–

deviantBastard

#wide_right

Doktor Zymm

I mean…I should probably finish this bag/box of wine. I don’t want to have embarrassing stuff laying around when the movers deliver my stuff.

Fronkenshteen

Pick one for week 9: Ty Montgomery, TJ Yeldon, or Devontae Booker?

Doktor Zymm

I can’t wait to get my worldly possessions on Saturday. Among the obvious things like chairs, I also miss slippers and my coziest bathrobe.

theeWeeBabySeamus

At the risk of having you say “fuck you” to me again (hehehe)….

Those seem like things that would have fit in your car. Other than the chairs, I mean.

Doktor Zymm

It’s hard to pick out exactly what you’re going to want, especially when you don’t know the exact time range. I did bring a bathrobe with me, but it was the wrong one. I could turn up the heat, but I prefer not to.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Point well-taken.

theeWeeBabySeamus

When we moved to AZ, I packed, loaded, moved and drove everything cross country by myself in a big yellow Penske truck. Rolled into PHX on the 1st day of August, 1998. Upon stepping out of the aforementioned big yellow truck into 118 degree heat, what was my first thought?

What the fuck was I thinking?

Doktor Zymm

I would have told you that as soon as you mentioned AZ, but I’ve only been there in July on a business trip 🙂
Well done on the pack and move tho.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m a good mover. You’d be shocked.

Spur

You watching Thor this weekend or next?

herodotus450

Mine was last weekend, so no.
/Thor is the name of the DFO Class Pet, right?

Spanky Datass

Yes that’s Thor grazing in my avatar.
Wanna see his “Hammer”?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Best come on line in EVAR.

Wakezilla

Likely on demand. I felt so burned by how shitty Guardians 2 was, I’ll just wait until it’s on demand.

It does look good though.

herodotus450

Senators channeling their inner 1993 Devils and pull out the win.

Fronkenshteen

Jets are fucking LIVE!

Spur

Pop has been ejected.

deviantBastard

I swear I’ve heard that recently.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Guess he couldn’t stand watching the game any more either.

Fronkenshteen

Zay Jones back in?

deviantBastard

Affirmative, sir.

Doktor Zymm

So, what actually was wrong with Zay Jones? Was it just a temp cramp or is he doped up right now?

deviantBastard

Probably got a shot during halftime. Just like in Varsity Blues.

Doktor Zymm

I recall that movie! I learned that QBs have daddy issues!

Doktor Zymm

Also that the fattest guy has loads of CTE!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Huh…wouldya lookit that. I shoulda started Robby Anderson too I guess.

Fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck.

Doktor Zymm

I want to take a penny and scratch the logo off the Jets helmets and see if I win money

Doktor Zymm

Is this supposed to be a Color Rush game? They kinda bailed on that since the Blindness Bowl didn’t they. I would support pink and yellow or whatever.

deviantBastard

That was SO last month. The NFL can go back to not caring about Women’s cancer again.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

So ummmmm…..I’ve got an old original hardcover of Catcher in the Rye….what’ll that get me?

herodotus450

The realization that youre a big fat phony, life is pointless, and that you’re not as cool as you think you are.

theeWeeBabySeamus

All things I already knew.
Now about that book slut…..

herodotus450

100 bucks probably

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’d give you a reach-around and a clown suit.

Doktor Zymm

Eh, I’ve seen better portmanteaus

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

John Thomas.

...

I love fucking books.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Anyone else want to field this one?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Hey, The Story of O was pretty good.

Doktor Zymm

Historically, it is possible to make a chinstrap that doesn’t look like a chin diaper

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, the former is needed for an excited woman.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

WTF Jets?

...

None of you will ever have a better last day at your job than the Twitter employee who suspended Trump’s Twitter for 11 minutes.

Gratliff

Legend status achieved. In response, all r/pol commenters will be verified