The Astronauts did a thingy last night according to spurts pages everywhere. When do you think they’ll come back down to earth? Will Buzz Aldrin officiate at the wedding between that guy and his girliecake? How much motorboating will Verlander do this off-season? More than the usual amount? The questions are many. The answers are tedious.
Perhaps now we can engage in a real sport. Where my Church League Volleyball homies at? Saint Lucia of the Caribbean looks stacked this year!
Okay, I was actually talking about The Hockey. One may be interested in the 10-win Lightning hosting the NYR or the Blues doing the Flyers. The best game (“Northern Ontario Bias” detected…) should be the Mighty Senators (coming off an 8-3 drubbing) taking on the Red Wings.
Is there anything else that I’ve neglected to cover? Hmm… Oops! TO THE GAME!
Bills @ Jets- The Hippster (King Hippo) and I have both made passing mention of a Bills D that-right now-is a force to be reckoned with. They’re giving up an average of 16 points per game and have forced a ridiculous 13 turnovers in the last 4 tilts. Giving the ball back to an offense that loves them the ball control has paid dividends so far. Unlike in years past, the front office recognized that they needed some semblance of a play-maker at wideout and traded for The Kelvinator. (Yeah, trading away Watkins created this issue but whatever) It’s been back and forth as to whether he’ll be activated for the game,”But it ain’t that hard to throw a jump ball to a 6’5″ 240 pounder in the end zone”, says me. If the Billies get the V they are first in the AFC East again and occupy 2nd overall in the conference-second only to the Stillers. Don’t look down, Sean McDermott and them Buffalo backers out there-you might get a tad dizzy. If Alfred Hitchcock taught me anything-and he didn’t-it’s that it’s a long way down from these heights.
Do your worst in the comments.
Hawt Taek….I am looking forward to Jim Kelly’s A Football Life . It will be good.
Who carries cash nowadays?
Strippers.
until around 4:30, when they leave their dealer’s
Also bartenders, but still
I don’t see “cash” in her statement. If I remember the episode they just don’t have 800 bucks.
I carry cash to purchase weed and to tip.
Fair enough. Don’t think I’ve seen that one, what season is it? And I suppose I could make a comment about liquidity, but I really don’t care enough.
Cash also gets me a discount at the liquor store.
Really?
Come on Spurs, keep it close
“The Sean Son of Coy”
So Papa Ricketts pulled the plug in DNA Info and the Gothamist sites. Naturally, I read a Crain’s article about it and it’s nothing but shitheads gleeful that those left-leaning journalists who tried to union got fucked over.
Now I’ll have to find a new set of sites to see the cyrpto-racist locals to grind their teeth over crime and scream about the state being broke because of pensions.
May I recommend following your local news affiliates?
Time to restart this bot, methinks, it’s gone off the rails. Those are all words but I’ve no idea what that’s supposed to mean.
Honestly, I’m shocked no one said this when I was shitposting last night.
They probably thought you were a Russian spy.
Strong Carbon!!
What’s this about Altered Carbon?
Left to right : Pinstripe black, Solid Black, Gray grid, Gray Plaid
/not sure if raycess or not
took me long enough to figure out “beta cuck” forget about deciphering “pinstripe black” smh
It’s the suits they’re wearing. My sense of aesthetics would have preferred alternating backgrounds.
Also, if you’re talking about fish, then Betas are fucking vicious. Do alt-right people just not know about fish?
I try to sing “beta cuck” to the tune of Bing Crosby’s “Jingle Bells”
/am weird
Awesome Binocular Vision? AWESOME BINOCULAR VISION!!!!!
and it’s waterproof.
So, I live in Fremont, which is the cheapest part of Silicon Valley that doesn’t have a “crime problem” by the definition of the Bay Area. I am parking my Mazda 2 (look it up, they don’t sell it anymore) between a BMW and Mercedes. I love having the shittiest car. It’s also covered in insect blood from my x-country drive and there is no goddamn way I am paying to wash it. One day, perhaps, I will drive in the rain.
Ooh, you can take BART to Raiders games! Tickets gonna be getting cheap after the next few weeks.
Does BART really go to Fremont? I thought the Coliseum was the end of the line.
Maybe it’s been extended. Fremont is end of line on off days, and there’s one past that’s only at peak hours.
Perhaps I was thinking metaphorically.
It’s actually how I picked. It’s about as close to BART as I can get while still getting the FB proximity bonus.
I’ve been looking, and the cheapest is still around $80. The cheapest 49rs is $17. But I did look at the Coliseum the other day when I went “Cityward”!
Aim it toward the bay, set a brick on the accelerator, collect the insurance.
Alternate plan….fill it with explosives, aim it toward Levi’s, set your alibi.
There’s always the drive it into a wall, roll out at the last second, go too fast and crash, sustain a concussion, buy a handgun, grenade, and wedding dress at a thrift shop, and attempt to blow up the car plan.
I love simplicity.
Fuck You. I like my Mouse Car.
So maybe this is a silly question, but I’ve never thought about it before. That “FG target” line they stick out, is it based off of a FG kicker’s previous maximum? Or where they think the team will choose to kick v. punt?
I believe it’s based on pregame practice and where they see the kicker’s range to be.
So subjective BS. Gotcha. Let’s go all horseracing on this and base the range on parimutual betting.
I don’t think you have a large enough sample size to go off previous max or previous decisions. It’s gotta be subjective.
Besides, the pregame practice IS the sample…
You can use recency as an input while still utilizing the whole of their kicking history. Which is basically what smart horse bettors do, and they consistently beat pari-mutual.
Do you really want to bet on a kicker?
Who’s this idiot who keeps saying the Jets are going to be aggressive?
God?
Football Mr. Peanutbutter.
dear God that is EXACTLY RIGHT
I wish I’d thought of it myself – can’t remember where I saw it, but it’s perfect.
When I was a cheerleader in 2nd grade or something we had a cheer called “Be Aggressive”
We also had no idea how football was played, and no coach during games, so we had no idea when to do the “defense” vs “offense” cheers. I didn’t stay with it past that year.
Bee-Eee Agressive
is this going to be a 9/11 joke?
well, it is now, Mister Man!!
Bernardo, leader of the Sharks?
Sorry, that’s my Uncle Joe. He’s been drinking again. Big J-E-T-S fan.
Damn, that’s…actually a really bad fumble
What would you say is the average stride length of someone in the NFL? When running?
ALSO, DAMN! JETS?!
69 inches.
Nice
I’m roasting a chicken. It’s starting to smell delicious.
What’d you stuff all up in that cavity though bro?
Rosemary and half an onion.
What did she do to deserve this fate?
smell good?
No, he needs a shower.
Oh, you meant….
Somehow I knew you were gonna say rosemary. I fuckin’ love rosemary.
Lemon is pretty good too
Jordan Matthews is a wet bag of shit
c’mon, Hauschka points
Poor Texans fans, it’s like getting your balls smashed with a smithing hammer after having the best sex of your life.
Some guys pay good money for that.
Would that be after Mother Nature decided to squirt on you?
Well this ad is nakedly craven jingoistic bullshit
You’d think so, except that a lot of the players speaking were black, so there are plenty of REAL AMERICANS who will find a way to view their words as disrespectful to the troops.
So, it didn’t take long for the NFL to fellate the military, did it?
Only negative a bunch of years
Only 9+ weeks. It should have been done quickly…so so quickly.
They were right behind Bud Light and Papa’s John on the fellate list.
I’m still fuming over that ASJ non-TD.
Back to the Spurs game. Buffalo is depressing.
Right now, so is the Spurs game.
Can’t Pop put in one of the benchwarmers to kick Draymond and/or Durant in the nuts?
Well, it certainly would be dealing out some karmic justice, especially on Draymond.
So, despite no one in my squad having heard of The IT Crowd, I still got them to name it “Friendface”
Here’s a free one for ya, kid: add a “The” to it. You gotta have a “The.”
I am sad for your squad
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phStMmoXM6Q
It’s kind of upsetting that it costs more to buy a raw chicken at Vons than it does to buy a cooked one at Costco.
You need to buy more to receive the savings. A friend of mine bought 7 cases of beer for a Halloween party and got $3 off each case.
How much for the handjobs?
Depends on how much I’ve been drinking.
DON’T SAY HANDJOBS!!!
Heheheheehe….never mind.
I wonder if “anus” will get us listed as an adult site?
Hey, who was it that started Zay Jones?
I believe that was Scotchy.
“Who is Scrotchnaut” for the win.
Ouch. that poor buffalo
I’ve eaten quite a few vegetables this week. That means I can totally drink a large amount tonight and still be healthy, overallish, right?
Plus you get bonus points for planning ahead.
/eats whole bag of BBQ chips
Should be a net positive.
we’re all likely dying in a ball of fire within next year or two anyway so FUCK IT I says
This is why I’m not too pressed about recycling
Sure, beer’s got water in it. Plus vegetables are just water, so you’re fine.
malted barley is a vegetable
Heh, is Dion Phanuef the biggest, softest crybaby in the league?
Bless you.
Make sure you save your receipt for that sentiment; under the new Republican tax plan it’s deductible.
Without question, asshole in person to. Have served him many times at the bar.
Guess who just RSVP’ed for their office Holiday party? This guy!
My boss told me i had to go, I’m driving in and driving out same day/night.
I actually like #GLORY BOY FLUTIE.
The Browns were in the playoffs in ’02. I completely forgot about that.
“I remember like it was yesterday.”
– Bernie Kosar
Is that the most recent chimera?
Brock Lobster is putting up 300 yards and 4 tds this weekend. Book it.
No
But with the current state of the NFL, you may very well be right.
Yeah but how many of those are Broncos TD’s?
Good point, 3 of them
Fred Schneider likes this post
COMMERCIAL BREAK THOUGHT EXPERIMENT:
After reading this article (https://sports.yahoo.com/bob-mcnair-hasn-t-signed-222240991.html) and thinking about the previous shittiness McNair has espoused (SEE: This week’s quotables) what if Hopkins, Fuller, Clowney, Miller, all the actual talent on the 500s refused to practice/play until and unless Kaep got an actual shot with them, even as Savage’s backup? Does it work? Does McNair stubbornly dig in further? Would the 500s have to forfeit? Does the NFL lean on him to just give it a whirl to get them out of the collusion suit? I mean, those guys aren’t making the playoffs with the Savage My Groin combo pack, so what do the players have to lose (other than money, shut up) by taking a principled stand and ratcheting the pressure on the old white dudes club?
They shouldn’t refuse to practice/play – they should refuse to PERFORM. Throw picks, drop passes, etc.
Oh so THAT’S what the Ohio teams are doing?
Interesting theory however in a next man up league those guys would get blackballed too I believe.
Hopkins, Fuller, Clowney are the stars, though. Obviously mad points to Cushing and whatever other white guys play for Houston if they would step up in solidarity, but not gonna hold my breath and/or Carradine on that one.
Michael Hutchence would like a word with you.
Gonna need some really strong smelling salts
I like the question, but it has a dependency. What is the minimum contract Kaep would accept? If he’s not willing to accept X, and X is within the range of their conditions, then there’s an easy out. He just offers X, Kaep turns it down, and then they have to proceed or be internally inconsistent (death!)
Potential ML question. From video, potentially from multiple angles, do you think it’s possible to determine the fault for why it’s incomplete between QB and receiver (with appropriate adjustment for defensive coverage)?
What does ML mean?
With knowledge of a playbook/route tree, yes. Otherwise, sometimes.
Machine Learning. Basically I’m inquiring into the possibility of creating a labeled set of video. Could you take video of thousands of plays, at a basic level say “bad throw” or “bad catch” and then train a computer to identify which that is on future plays.
But Zymm, what is a catch?
No one knows…
Oh. Then you can probably answer it better than I can. Would imagine it would require dynamic uploading/differentiation of individual team’s schemes. What may look like a QB’s fault from pattern recognition may be the result of a WR reading coverage incorrectly for an option route. Or vice versa. But these questions are too smart for the NFL/us anyway.
So, we’re all just going to ignore the fact that the Jets are dressed like the Roughriders?
Deckard always throws the craziest sex parties.
Are the Bills actually good or is most of the NFL just hot garbage?
Yes.
Hot garbage
You sir are correct.
One of the few things I will miss from Chicago : The Bears starting some random ass QB on Sunday, walking to work on Monday and overhearing one guy explaining exactly who that QB was to some other guy.
“He played for *college* and did stuff there and then 8 years passed and now he’s the FUTURE OF THE BEARS”
And then he gets traded to….the Jets in this case
BRING BACK MOSES MORENO
Actually, please don’t
Any play that involves a lot of sideways motions and is +/- <1 yd should be called a “Charleston”
This game is far better entertainment than the people of New Jersey deserve
BLERRRRRDS
I haven’t watched a Bills game in years. Flutie looks different.
Basically Flutie without the #Heart and #Spirit.
You forgot #grit.
True.
trading off MATURITY for ATHLETICISM ,, smh
Somebody started Zay Jones! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
Wait, really!?
he has a gift
When doing a goofy celebration you should let others know so they do not ruin it.
This true almost every time I masturbate at a New Year’s Eve party.
I HAVEN’T SEEN SOMEONE LOSE CONTAIN LIKE THAT SINCE GRANDPA OD’D ON PRUNE JUICE
I hate Medieval Latin, and I hate it even more when it’s mostly upside down
Just imagine trynna read it with a serpent on one nipple and bird like creature on the other.
“SHADY IS INJURED! WE DON’T HAVE ANY INDICATION WHETHER OR NOT HE WILL PLAY! YES, I AM BEING TOLD HE IS PLAYING RIGHT NOW”
Josh McCown looks like the type of guy you’d see carrying a tiki torch in the streets while shouting racial obscenities.
I prefer Lyft to Uber, because I prefer companies that aren’t blatantly evil
Canine Justice Deferred is Canine Justice Denied: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/true-crime/wp/2017/11/02/the-suspect-told-police-give-me-a-lawyer-dog-the-court-says-he-wasnt-asking-for-a-lawyer/?utm_term=.0648524fef8e
Just reading the link….
I assume?
Yeah, with more racism from the Louisiana legal system
Oh shit. I was kinda hoping it wasn’t that and it would just be a funny joke/cute picture. WTF Deep South!? Though I could see Chicago doing the same thing.
One of those stories that really reminds you that you should never trust any form of law enforcement. You may need them. They may help you. But never, ever trust them.
Can he claim transcription error? There should be a comma between “lawyer” and “dog”
Or even “dawg [sic]” vs “dog”
But you know, they think the Civil Rights Act of 1964 is optional down there
Also, shouldn’t they stop questioning anyway? Even if he WAS asking for a “lawyer dog” that’s still invoking your right to an attorney, right? Asking for a specific sort of attorney shouldn’t change that aspect, and you can always change the specification subject to availability later on.
Sorry, commenting as I read through the article
Pfft, ambiguous my ass. How’s THAT for ambiguous!
Seriously though, on the off chance I end up in a bad legal situation, I’m happy I know exactly what to do. Although the one time I did end up in a bad legal situation I did something completely different and it actually worked out really well so….yay white girl I guess?