After the “games” we sat through today, we finally get a decent matchup tonight. It’s too bad that we have to endure the incoherent ramblings of Cris Collinsworth, but we all have crosses to bear.
In non-football news, UCLA has fired Head Coach Jim Mora Jr. Thus begins another cycle of UCLA sucking balls while USC is good but not quite as good as they should be given the lack of competition. Seriously, if anyone should go it’s the AD, Dan Guerrero. The university has never committed to building a football program and has instead rested on the laurels of John Wooden by pretending to be a top basketball school. How has that worked out?
Seriously, Trump should have let them rot in a Chinese jail. Who the fuck thinks it’s a good idea to go to a foreign country and steal shit? They should have been kicked out of the university for embarrasing themselves and everyone associated with UCLA. But good old Dan Guerrero was the first one to thank Trump and has let the coach allow the players to “work” their way back onto the team. To borrow a meme from tWBS:
Let’s move on to something surprisingly good: THIS GAME!
The red-hot Philadelphia Eagles can give themselves a 4 loss lead with 6 games to play with a win over the Cowboys. This is Game Two of Ezekiel Elliot’s suspension and no one has effectively come forward to make up for his absence. If the Cowboys could lose to RAMMIT at home, they can get destroyed by Philly.
Hopefully, the Eagles can get out of this game with no injuries. As you can see with the Cowboys, teams are way worse when key players are out and that diminishes the appeal of the game, the team, and the league.
BTW, if Jerry Jones can somehow can Goodell’s ass, I will be perfectly happy with the Boys winning the next 6 Super Bowls. Call me Faust, I don’t care.
Get to it, you heathens!
You may remember me from such educational videos as “Lead Paint; Tasty But Deadly”!, is my personal favorite.
Minor Dakashima meltdown there. Levels are back in the normal range now, though.
great……….
DAK! DAK! DAK!
MC CLOUD!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJkzmgPUBhQ&ab_channel=scarywebguy
DAK DAK DAK
DAKception!!!!!
Shit.
Yeah, so St. George Botanivore Gin? DELICIOUS I WOULD KILL A BITCH TO DRINK THIS.
Can I send you some names? There might be a few dudes in there too, just roll with it.
I’m sorry, but unless they’re preventing me from consuming a very specific gin, I’m afraid I won’t be killing anyone. Even then, there are other good gins…
YOU WERE WITH US THE WHOLE TIME. So….kill who ya gots to kill.
Haven’t tried that one, but I like their Terroir
Also good. I bought a sample pack. The Rye tastes like rakija
Nice stop.
I, for one, am enjoying Cris and Al wondering how the crew can not call PI for the Cowboys during a week in which Ol’ JJ is raising all kind of hell with the league.
Yeah, gee, I fucking wonder!!!
I know we talk about NFL players like horses..so is it cool if I call Wentz “long”?
I got nothing.
Depends on what else you’ll be putting down your throat tonight.
Gin is a very comfortable drunk. I miss it.
Come on over, I’ll mix you something that does not include Dasani Blood Orange
I’ve known people who went batshit insane if they drank gin. There’s something in that stuff.
juniper? Cause that’s literally what makes gin, gin.
Carson Wentz for it.
Oh, that it so much better. I likey.
Our kids don’t know why those off us of a certain age spasmed uncomfortably at that LT/Theismann joke
His reaction of “Oh shit did I rip his leg off?” right after is seared in my mind forever.
However, Theismann is an annoying pretentious cock.
Who always has to go to the bathroom.
this is true, I would prefer to spend Thanksgiving with the cokehead, statutory rapist instead
Cool. I can bring something if you’d like.
Coke?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yjnzRSArwYY
Breaking out the good gin, it’s St George and Pellegrino for now, until I recover
“what’s a computer?” – good ol pretentious Apple
Terrence Trent D’arby doesn’t have much of a catalogue.
No, he’s pretty much the definition of “one-and-done”
I bet he wishes he had another chance
Neither does Sears…anymore.
“I reprogrammed the robots to do the inspection; it’s much faster now.”
“That’s great Emily. Oh, hey, by the way, we’re cutting back on staff now that things are moving so efficiently. Here’s your pink slip.”
THIS COWBOYS OFFENSE I CALL THEM EGGS BECAUSE THEY AIN’T SHIT WITHOUT A BEATER
I feel free. I can do anything now that I’m not saddled to that horrible mixer. Do I martini? Or do I gin and not shitty soda? Or something totally different!
Ride that gin train to the floor
Negronis are a good use for gin. Or the old reliable pink gin.
Throw it to Witten.
Greetings, reprobates.
‘Ola!
evening
Evening.
I don’t like being called something I have to look up.
Fucking Calvinists.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ynIHsHYaig0
Dick head Eagle player hitting Dak in the face.
DO IT AGAIN
DAK DAK DAK DAK!!!
a nice drive going. keep it up
Hey Apple, bring the iPod classic back, you fucks.
Thankfully, there’s a dude online who refurbishes them and sends them out better than factory new.
I am hopeful Blackberry lives on this way.
I don’t want internet or apps, I have a stupid phone I use for that. I just want a ton of space with no frills.
similarly, I just want HARD TEXT KEYBOARD TILL I DIE. As long as I can check my sportsball scores and DFO, fuck else I need my phone to do? I hate people.
Your last sentence seems to be about more than phones.
I’ve always wanted to work for Blackberry’s parent company, that way I could finally brag about getting a RIM job.
unfortunately, you’d probably be the last one, and the creditor calls would be pretty harrowing
FUCK YOU WE LOVED ALFRED MORRIS IN DC I WAS SO PISSED ABOUT THE TRADE BUT STILL WISH HIM WELL I HOPE HE HAS A LOVELY THANKSGIVING
/extreme Grandpa Simpson voice
MAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTLLOOOCCCCKKKKK!
What is the definition of “traditional tv”? also duh
Network?
Network + watched at scheduled time (no DVR, streaming, etc), I think?
No, the graph says it’s including DVR and Video on Demand. I assume they’re just excluding streaming-only services like Netflix, Hulu, YouTube….
CBS: Television You Die To.
Oh dear god it’s done. If I can force that down my throat, I can do anything. I can’t believe people drink that voluntarily.
PHRASING
The first part of that sounded like my wife on our wedding night.
Dilly Dilly
Is that a quote from Linda Lovelace’s how to book?
Sounds like Ellen’s diary before coming out
Some vintage Eagles tackling right there
Jerry’s House was way to small.
oh, hallelujah, JV lines are finally out and they made my shitty wolves 17 point favourites over U*NC. Holy shit, that’s taking money from a baby.
You gotta be shitting me.
get your money in FAST. I felt guilty betting MOAR than $500
Yeah, that will shift more than likely. Holy fuckballz.
no moneyline available as yet. Bet it will be under 14 by tomorrow afternoon. I expected around 10.
TheFUCK with the NFC East Cul De sac?
IT’S ALWAYS APPROPRIATE TO COMPARE ONE PLAYER’S FIRST X GAMES TO ANOTHER PLAYER’S FIRST X GAMES.
They got to fellate Brady during a game he’s not playing in, so it’s a win for the network!
Do you think Eagle tastes like chicken? They’re both birds, but carnivores tend to taste different than herbivores.
Eagles taste more patriotic
Eagles with napalm sauce is the only thing I eat.
eat only with rock and flag!
Raptors tend to be tough and stringy, they use their muscles more.
I’d expect it to be a bit “gamey”.
They taste like victory
Assume the Iggles win division, which takes a lot of the urgency out of my Cowboy hate, but….go Iggles I think? Hooray TD?
You tried, Dallas. At least you can say you tried.
I know we all like alcohol and whatnot but did you just see that catch?
This one put me in a deep sleep a couple of Thanksgivings ago.
Oh wow
I CALL THIS DASANI BLOOD ORANGE RANDOM GUY FROM THE BAR DICK CAUSE I’M DREADING TAKING IT INTO MY MOUTH
Um, dreading still means…nevermind.
One woman’s dread is another man’s canonization honey!
#Dok4Banner
TROLL BLEERGH
I could just not finish this drink and make a better one. Am I mature enough to tolerate the loss of a small amount of gin in recognition of how much I hate this mixer?
Or just chug it. Waste not want not.
If you dump it you’ll only regret it later.
Good way to spend a Saturday. Not me, that’s The Boy enjoying his B-day present. He’d better remember this shit when I’m old and decrepit and in need of a fresh pair of Depends.
I’ve only skydived over corn fields. What’s the scenery?
Mustang Island, TX
Depends???? I’d hold out for a kidney if I was you.
Kidney? No, I’m already getting cross-matched for a lobe of his liver. Remember, I’m a Cowboy’s fan.
“Thanks for strapping me up against that other mans crotch and maxing us out on adrenaline, pops!”
TD Aglohor would be lucrative.
Verizon guy : We noticed you guys like hipsters, and as far as we can tell the only characteristic hipsters have is being obnoxious and wrong
Also 2-day beards
Yeah Rodgers gets bored quickly.
Some halftime reading about NFL broadcast assignments. Most of y’all probably know this, but it’s interesting nevertheless.
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/11/19/sports/football/why-people-in-mississippi-have-to-watch-the-giants.html
Here’s a “constant” for you, network/nfl assholes: I’m not gonna watch your shit anymore and never will again.
no shut out!