There’s but twelve minutes left in the Vikes/Lions game as I type this and it took some time but things are starting to heat up. (much like the mashed potatoes you just threw into the microwave because you made them way too soon). Although I very much enjoy Thanksgiving I really can’t recall any sort of positive memory associated with it. Perhaps it’s because of the alcohol-based dementia cozily nestling in but family get-together’s for me are like the CIA participating in the overthrow of Latin American leaders-get in and get out as quickly as possible and hope no one notices. TO THE GAME!
LA/Dallas: Tyron “Shoelaces” Smith may or may not be playing today but the t’udder offensive tackle is out. And according to the banner injury report, so is lb Sean Lee. Along with Zeke’s suspension that’s three difference-makers out for the home team. There is a bright side that I can see though-Mr. Elliott can make that stupid “feed me” gesture at his dinner table instead of out on the field. Hurray for small victories! De’s Bosa and Ingram have combined for 19 sacks and look to add a few more today. Their target? The DAKster. He’s the guy that barfed up a godawful game last week and the leader of an O that has scored just one TD in the last two tilts. The Chargers wr Allen went bananas last week and went off to the tune of [counts slowly] many points. I’m sure that rb Gordon will get his as well. This is last-gasp time for each of these squadoos to put something resembling a playoff team together so let’s see how it plays out.
It’s getting very close to “Drink A Lot” time. I can’t hardly wait!
Mash those potatoes, er, keyboards, folks.
No dak for you
GAMBLOR shits on my head
Romo calling the next play the Cowboys run is marvelous. Really.
Nantz: Tony, how do you know which play is coming before it’s called?
Romo: *eyes turn black and speaks the true name of god*
[in a low voice]
Romo: “Triscuit”.
Mighty quiet in Jerry World.
THIS COWBOYS SECONDARY I CALL IT A BLACK FRIDAY SALE, BECAUSE EVERYONE IS WIDE OPEN STARTING NOW!!!
“I’ll take Page #2.”
-Congressman, deciding on which volunteer he’ll have sex with
I told you I’d be here all day! You were warned well in advance.
I’m mall over that book.
/you. were. warned.
“There’s no ‘I’ in dyke, just my finger.”
-Little Dutch Boy
Who is this American Idol reject dweeb? This is country music? Do they play this in grain elevators? This guy’s never heard of Buck Owens or Hank Snow.
She seems… helpful.
Gone with Obamacare; THANKS!
Blue and black skirt girl FTW.
Ray Rice?
“Ouch!”
-Janay
“Paging Page 2. Page 2?”
Feet are gross.
“Tell me about it.”
-Meters and kilograms
This made me chuckle.
?w=420&h=315&crop=1
*metres.
Dallas has to take SD’s “show thine balls” challenge and go for that. You’ve done fuckall the entire half. Shitty Clippers have a very compromised FG kicker, the downside is very small. There is no benefit to losing this game close.
Somebody should tell Zymm that she’s likely missing work because I checked and Facebook is open right now.
There are people on call, but me no software engineer
what if someone has a heart attack and wants to show all they friends and family pictures of it? They noe need Doktor??
Nope, but I can measure how effectively they shared their medical crisis and propose changes to make it easier and more fun to share next time they suffer an acute cardiac infarction!
Actually, I don’t even do that, and that’s probably not the group I’ll be working in. I still in training and pick a group next week.
Hey, DAK just passed his fantasy total from last week!
*Is thankful she sat Dak and started Cam this week*
We’ve replaced DAK! with (spray tanned) Alex Smith. Let’s see if anyone notices.
Pizza flour is a gateway gluten.
I’ve done the math and women in sci-fi movies are 26.7% hotter than they would be in a regular movie.
they know who’s watching
Thats cuz reglar movies suck.
I want to think she’s attractive, but I’m too busy worrying that she’s going to eat my face.
Just like every woman, right? lol
UP TOP, BRO
And now I’ve put away the sleeping bag that I was using with my air mattress before my bed came, and which I washed (!) yesterday! This counts as being productive!
How goes game? I killed a bunch of Raiders and Super Mutants and drank some bourbon and hung up a picture!
0-0.
You’ve missed nothing!
Hooray! I am winning again!
– Charlie Sheen pre-HIV diagnosis?
Keenan Allen already has 75 yards!
/just give me a wedgie and get it over with
Wise use of your time.
http://www.news.com.au/world/breaking-news/belgian-waffle-fire-chokes-brussels/news-story/8adf8b357eefef0ec0086b88ef9c02a1
The Pokes’ defensing unit is shameful. I’m not saying they have to commit Seppuku, but…
She seems nice.
Late fucking flag
What I like about today’s lineup of games is that the quality of games perfectly matches the increasingly sloppy state brought about by a day’s worth of drinking.
By night’s end we’ll all look like this.
/looks in mirror
//high fives self foar being ahead of schedule
That just means you’re headed for Peyton territory: the ugliest Manning.
Hey thanks man, love you too!!!!!
😀
Don’t worry. There’s no way you can drink yourself into the worst Manning of them all: Cooper.
Challenge….Accepted.
But first, turkey.
Catch you jokers after halftime.
I have to pick up my kid from work at 10. This is most distressing. I have 3 22 oz cider bottles just laughing at me from the fridge.
Schedule an Uber for him and get with the program.
Then cancel your credit card.
Good call. The kid has a job.
I was more referring to their massive cover up of their data security breach and then paying off the hackers to delete the stolen info.
Yeah, OK. They hacked your data and you paid them off to delete it. I’m sure that data has been deleted.
.
Best T-giving leftover?
Spiral sliced ham, don’t even try arguing.
Nein, as long as there is gravy, turkey breast wins. Also apple pie the next day is just as good.
Ded to me.
Except for the pie, makes a good hangover breakfast.
Hangover Breakfast? Good band name
I am day drunk in your guys honoUr. Moving from rosé to italian red now.
Thought Laserface had 9 spawn, did BOLTMAN!! eat one?
BOLTMAN DEMANDS A SINGLE OFFERING OF FLESH FOR EACH TEN FLESHLINGS SPAWNED.
HUH, WHAT? OCTO-MOM, BITCH!
DAKOTA!
Did y’all just see that Shitty Clippers kicker MISS the net on a practice FG on the sidelines?
sweet, sweet entropy
https://twitter.com/NOTSCTop10PIays/status/933818397288169472
That needs to be on Quotables.
NICE ARMPUNT, King Laserface.
Looks like the last BET BET BET BET I have a chance with today is Johnny Reb +15.5 in “I am the Egg Bowl! Co-coo-ka-choo!!” tonite.
/swears will not re-up with credit card for Dacteds/Gigantes
We believe you.
Had I a balance, I probably would have bet the +700-ish moneyline on the wolves the other night, just because of how much said win would annoy me with all the crowing from the bay at the moon crowd who still have me on their e-mail list LMAO
I was expecting that email thread to get resurrected last night, truth be told.
A certain former “boss” didn’t miss the chance to get on twitter and act like a jackass, tho.
I failed to return fire, because don’t feed the troll but 1) it’s not like, of Sidney Lowe and Mark Gottfried didn’t have out of their ass early career Nov/Dec wins too, eh? and 2) OF COURSE they lost to Northern Iowa in the semis today.
Hehehehe…I hadn’t even checked yet.
Too funny.
Looks like the Dallas secondary had a big old drink of antifreeze before the game.
it would prob be better if we all had a big swig
/team comet
Fucking Atalanta
Lions disappoint as always, but at least I get to see the end of Dallas.
I’d like to taste that pie.
I didn’t even realize the Football Clippers were playing today.
Ughhhhhhhh, go Cowboys.
How dirty do you feel about saying that?
Not as bad as when I was rooting for the Pats a few weeks ago, but still…
Given that my starting QB is Brady, I experience this every damned week!!!!!!
Stupid sexy cheezburger with your stupid drag coefficient and your pickles.
Well, took a nap at the end of the third quarter thinking it might un-jinx Lions but woke up to find out it had not.
Hope to hear a lot of quiet and see a lot of Sad Jerry Face during this second game.
Mr. Elliott can make that stupid “feed me” gesture at his dinner table instead of out on the field.
Reports are that Zeke is in Cabo … beause that’s always the smart call for a suspended player… right?
Worked for Michael Anthony when Eddie Van Halen suspended him.
Always got Romo ready for the post season.
Woo! I’ll be home by halftime. Someone tell Rivers not to Laserface until after I pull in the driveway.
Woooo!!!!! It’s Turkey!!!!
Owwwwww!!!! It’s hot!!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZAJJXK41ZA
/feels hardening.
/in the arteries, too.
Fuck, I forgot about that!
/Watches end of March of the Wooden Soldiers
Ahhhh, get up you weenie. Not like it was frozen or nuthin’.
TCTE.
Not quite sure what’s going on with this CBS documentary right now, but I do know that Marvin Gaye’s father was afflicted with a serious case of HuntingSon’s Disease.
Is Romo calling the game? Will the fans chant for his return?
I know that look.
FIRST!….. Page?
Feeling a lot like Charlie Brown over here.
Woo! Imma play some Fallout and drink some bourbon, see y’all at the late game!
Boooooo CBS in “the city”!!!!!!