Your “Where Have You Gone, Megatron?” Thanksgiving Day NFL Football Open Thread

Hey there, you four day weekend-having mother-suckers! Have I ever told you the story of how I stumbled across the bliss that is Thursday afternoon football? Yes? Well, sit back, relax with your warm glass of mulled cider (“you’re so sophisticated!”) and I’ll tell you again. Back when I was a mere Koolaidnaut I was sick as a dog one day and had to miss school. I usually just planted myself on the sofa and napped and watched the old boob tube even though it was nothing but game shows and soap operas. This time however I was astounded to find the Detroit Lions being blown out by whomever and for whatever reason, I fell in like. Every year from then on I would feign the sick on American Thanksgiving and watch football all the day long. My mother never caught on, probably because she didn’t really care and… Hmmm. That took a wee turn didn’t it? Why don’t we mosey on over, TO THE GAME!

VIKINGS/LIONS: Shall we get the best game of the day out of the way early? Let’s. What with one man team Aaron Rodgers lost, the NFC North comes down to these two and Detroit needs this one badly-they can’t risk picking up the L and falling to 6-5. Recently released and then gobbled back up again Dwight Freeney won’t be playing today for the Lions but they should get de Ansah back. On the O side of things rb Abdullah has scored in three straight games and if you picked him up to throw into your flex spot, huzzah! You got that one right. Too bad your decision-making skills weren’t in play regarding your latest ex. The Vikes have gotten everything any team would want out of their backup qb-a dude that will not lose games for the team and have long stretches of competency.

As you may know, there’s a shit-ton of sportsifying/drinking and eating going on today. Just try not to stab your mother-in-law through the heart with the carving knife-go for the neck instead. If you get the right spot she’ll end up painting the walls before she stops being a pain in your  ‘extraordinarily-patient-right-up-to-now’ ass.

No matter what you’re doing, do stop by and say hello and let us know what you’re up to. If you’ve been lurking for a bit, perhaps throwing an account together and popping in is a good reason to escape the family. (“Can’t visit right now Ma, I’m talking to some freakballs on the ‘puter!”)

Now get out there and do some damage!

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Moose -The End Is Well NighShogun MarcusBrettFavresColonoscopyscotchnautDoktor Zymm Recent comment authors
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Shogun Marcus

Off to Round Two. Eat, drink, pill, smoke, and be merry all. See ya for the nightcap.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Doktor Zymm

FUCK YOU BLEERGH YOU USED TO BE FUN

Doktor Zymm

FUCK YOUR FLAG, I WANT THAT TO BE GOOD

The Maestro

sooooo close to hilarity. So close.

Doktor Zymm

Vikings/Eagles would be a quality NFC Championship game

ballsofsteelandfury

WILL BE

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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litre_cola

HOLY FUCK

Shogun Marcus

Not quite.

King Hippo

I’m still gonna hope for the miracle post-FG kick return TD for the push

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

well, now they lost the chance to force the extra play pre 2-minute warning. Dumbasses.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

First gun control conversation in the books. Where’s the emergency absinthe?

theeWeeBabySeamus

In the gun cabinet?

King Hippo

that’s just SMRT planning imo godbless

theeWeeBabySeamus

It’s a time saver, alright.

Doktor Zymm

Do they make trigger locks for booze?

Shogun Marcus

Iz nawt how bleach spelt.

Doktor Zymm

Shots!

Senor Weaselo

So, you’re WAY out on the Island, I presume?

Doktor Zymm

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Step grandpa has views

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

DET’s only chance is NOT to call timeout after the 1st play

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Doktor Zymm

I would be 100% okay with this going into extra time. I’m way too lazy to find an illegal stream of the next game, and CBS can bite raw turkey balls.

Doktor Zymm

I love when people challenge spots. Unless it’s egregious it’s not something that can be exactly determined or overturned

theeWeeBabySeamus

We would like to subscribe to your newsletter….
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blaxabbath

Bought a couple hundred rounds at Walmart today. We’re doing thanksgiving tomorrow at my parents so I figure this will give me something to do while we wait to eat.

Doktor Zymm

Rounds of shots or rounds of shot?

blaxabbath

Shots (i think)…

litre_cola

Vikings trying to lose?

King Hippo

PLEASE, Hippo needs a win

Senor Weaselo

So Hermana Weaselo and I almost got T-boned by a lady who not only blew the light, but our light had turned green as we were looking to make the left! So I’m thankful we’re not dead!

litre_cola

So are we, I mean you are the backbone of our band.

Doktor Zymm

That’s a good one! Glad you’re okay and not car smooshed

King Hippo

Everton is still vile shite, in case anyone was wondering.

Doktor Zymm

Maybe eventually “taking an Everton” will work it’s way into slang!
They getsing relegated?

King Hippo

2 positions clear right now, but doing they level best!

Doktor Zymm

Damn, that’s actually better than most store-bought soda waters. Between that and my ice maker, I gots ALL the small appliances a drinker needs!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

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Shogun Marcus

I thought Congress had the week off?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Doktor Zymm

Yeah, the Sodastream Power is totally boss. I gots me soda water for my bourbon, I gots me feta and cranberry filo bites, and I gots me a game that looked like it had a chance at being competitive but probably isn’t now cause the Lions are borked!

blaxabbath

Is Zimmer rooting for a defensive meltdown so he can yank Keenum for Teddy.

Doktor Zymm

I’m thankful I’m not a Lions fan

King Hippo

Two points from GLORIOUS back door cover!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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litre_cola

Yes. almost there.

Brocky

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blaxabbath

Nothing makes me want to sign up for YouTubeTV like the looming threat of Net Neutrality Repeal.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

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The Maestro

Dan Orlovsky time??

litre_cola

When isnt it?

The Maestro

If someone can bring me a plate of literally just stuffing and gravy, you will automatically become my hero.

Romonobyl

Rot roh…

blaxabbath

Wow. Vikings db’s invisible there.

litre_cola

I bet on Dallas and i feel dirty.

King Hippo

so did I, but just feel dum

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

So did I. Shit.

Doktor Zymm

But wait! I just bought a SodaStream that arrived yesterday, I just need to set it up and make my own soda water! MATERIALISM SAVES THE DAY!

blaxabbath

How can you get sacked on 3rd and long…and then taunt?