Your LawnClippers/Cowfellas NFL Football Open Thread

There’s but twelve minutes left in the Vikes/Lions game as I type this and it took some time but things are starting to heat up. (much like the mashed potatoes you just threw into the microwave because you made them way too soon). Although I very much enjoy Thanksgiving I really can’t recall any sort of positive memory associated with it. Perhaps it’s because of the alcohol-based dementia cozily nestling in but family get-together’s for me are like the CIA participating in the overthrow of Latin American leaders-get in and get out as quickly as possible and hope no one notices. TO THE GAME!

LA/Dallas: Tyron “Shoelaces” Smith may or may not be playing today but the t’udder offensive tackle is out. And according to the banner injury report, so is lb Sean Lee. Along with Zeke’s suspension that’s three difference-makers out for the home team. There is a bright side that I can see though-Mr. Elliott can make that stupid “feed me” gesture at his dinner table instead of out on the field. Hurray for small victories! De’s Bosa and Ingram have combined for 19 sacks and look to add a few more today. Their target? The DAKster. He’s the guy that barfed up a godawful game last week and the leader of an O that has scored just one TD in the last two tilts. The Chargers wr Allen went bananas last week and went off to the tune of [counts slowly] many points. I’m sure that rb Gordon will get his as well. This is last-gasp time for each of these squadoos to put something resembling a playoff team together so let’s see how it plays out.

It’s getting very close to “Drink A Lot” time. I can’t hardly wait!

Mash those potatoes, er, keyboards, folks.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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litre_cola

No dak for you

King Hippo

GAMBLOR shits on my head

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Nantz: Tony, how do you know which play is coming before it’s called?

Romo: *eyes turn black and speaks the true name of god*

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Mighty quiet in Jerry World.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

THIS COWBOYS SECONDARY I CALL IT A BLACK FRIDAY SALE, BECAUSE EVERYONE IS WIDE OPEN STARTING NOW!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

Who is this American Idol reject dweeb? This is country music? Do they play this in grain elevators? This guy’s never heard of Buck Owens or Hank Snow.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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She seems… helpful.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Gone with Obamacare; THANKS!

ballsofsteelandfury

Blue and black skirt girl FTW.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Ray Rice?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Feet are gross.

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This made me chuckle.

Romonobyl

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litre_cola

*metres.

Brick Meathook

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King Hippo

Dallas has to take SD’s “show thine balls” challenge and go for that. You’ve done fuckall the entire half. Shitty Clippers have a very compromised FG kicker, the downside is very small. There is no benefit to losing this game close.

Doktor Zymm

There are people on call, but me no software engineer

King Hippo

what if someone has a heart attack and wants to show all they friends and family pictures of it? They noe need Doktor??

Doktor Zymm

Nope, but I can measure how effectively they shared their medical crisis and propose changes to make it easier and more fun to share next time they suffer an acute cardiac infarction!

Doktor Zymm

Actually, I don’t even do that, and that’s probably not the group I’ll be working in. I still in training and pick a group next week.

Doktor Zymm

Hey, DAK just passed his fantasy total from last week!
*Is thankful she sat Dak and started Cam this week*

King Hippo

We’ve replaced DAK! with (spray tanned) Alex Smith. Let’s see if anyone notices.

Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

they know who’s watching

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Thats cuz reglar movies suck.

hippofant

I want to think she’s attractive, but I’m too busy worrying that she’s going to eat my face.

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Just like every woman, right? lol

UP TOP, BRO

Doktor Zymm

And now I’ve put away the sleeping bag that I was using with my air mattress before my bed came, and which I washed (!) yesterday! This counts as being productive!

Doktor Zymm

How goes game? I killed a bunch of Raiders and Super Mutants and drank some bourbon and hung up a picture!

Mr. Ayo

0-0.

You’ve missed nothing!

Doktor Zymm

Hooray! I am winning again!

theeWeeBabySeamus

– Charlie Sheen pre-HIV diagnosis?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Romonobyl

Wise use of your time.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

The Pokes’ defensing unit is shameful. I’m not saying they have to commit Seppuku, but…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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She seems nice.

King Hippo

Late fucking flag

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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What I like about today’s lineup of games is that the quality of games perfectly matches the increasingly sloppy state brought about by a day’s worth of drinking.

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By night’s end we’ll all look like this.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

/looks in mirror
//high fives self foar being ahead of schedule

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That just means you’re headed for Peyton territory: the ugliest Manning.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey thanks man, love you too!!!!!
😀

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Don’t worry. There’s no way you can drink yourself into the worst Manning of them all: Cooper.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Challenge….Accepted.

But first, turkey.

Catch you jokers after halftime.

King Hippo

I have to pick up my kid from work at 10. This is most distressing. I have 3 22 oz cider bottles just laughing at me from the fridge.

Mr. Ayo

Schedule an Uber for him and get with the program.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Then cancel your credit card.

Mr. Ayo

Good call. The kid has a job.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I was more referring to their massive cover up of their data security breach and then paying off the hackers to delete the stolen info.

Yeah, OK. They hacked your data and you paid them off to delete it. I’m sure that data has been deleted.

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.

Romonobyl

Best T-giving leftover?
Spiral sliced ham, don’t even try arguing.

King Hippo

Nein, as long as there is gravy, turkey breast wins. Also apple pie the next day is just as good.

Romonobyl

Ded to me.

Romonobyl

Except for the pie, makes a good hangover breakfast.

King Hippo

Hangover Breakfast? Good band name

litre_cola

I am day drunk in your guys honoUr. Moving from rosé to italian red now.

King Hippo

Thought Laserface had 9 spawn, did BOLTMAN!! eat one?

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BOLTMAN DEMANDS A SINGLE OFFERING OF FLESH FOR EACH TEN FLESHLINGS SPAWNED.

Mr. Ayo

HUH, WHAT? OCTO-MOM, BITCH!

Brick Meathook

DAKOTA!
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ballsofsteelandfury

Did y’all just see that Shitty Clippers kicker MISS the net on a practice FG on the sidelines?

King Hippo

sweet, sweet entropy

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

That needs to be on Quotables.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

NICE ARMPUNT, King Laserface.

King Hippo

Looks like the last BET BET BET BET I have a chance with today is Johnny Reb +15.5 in “I am the Egg Bowl! Co-coo-ka-choo!!” tonite.

/swears will not re-up with credit card for Dacteds/Gigantes

theeWeeBabySeamus

We believe you.

King Hippo

Had I a balance, I probably would have bet the +700-ish moneyline on the wolves the other night, just because of how much said win would annoy me with all the crowing from the bay at the moon crowd who still have me on their e-mail list LMAO

theeWeeBabySeamus

I was expecting that email thread to get resurrected last night, truth be told.

A certain former “boss” didn’t miss the chance to get on twitter and act like a jackass, tho.

King Hippo

I failed to return fire, because don’t feed the troll but 1) it’s not like, of Sidney Lowe and Mark Gottfried didn’t have out of their ass early career Nov/Dec wins too, eh? and 2) OF COURSE they lost to Northern Iowa in the semis today.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehehe…I hadn’t even checked yet.
Too funny.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Game Time Decision

it would prob be better if we all had a big swig
/team comet

King Hippo

Fucking Atalanta

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

Lions disappoint as always, but at least I get to see the end of Dallas.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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nomonkeyfun

I’d like to taste that pie.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I didn’t even realize the Football Clippers were playing today.

Ughhhhhhhh, go Cowboys.

Beerguyrob

How dirty do you feel about saying that?

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Not as bad as when I was rooting for the Pats a few weeks ago, but still…

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Given that my starting QB is Brady, I experience this every damned week!!!!!!

Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Stupid sexy cheezburger with your stupid drag coefficient and your pickles.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Well, took a nap at the end of the third quarter thinking it might un-jinx Lions but woke up to find out it had not.
Hope to hear a lot of quiet and see a lot of Sad Jerry Face during this second game.

Mr. Ayo

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Spanky Datass

Mr. Elliott can make that stupid “feed me” gesture at his dinner table instead of out on the field.
Reports are that Zeke is in Cabo … beause that’s always the smart call for a suspended player… right?

Viva La Tabula Raza

Worked for Michael Anthony when Eddie Van Halen suspended him.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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blaxabbath

Always got Romo ready for the post season.

Beerguyrob

Woo! I’ll be home by halftime. Someone tell Rivers not to Laserface until after I pull in the driveway.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Woooo!!!!! It’s Turkey!!!!

Owwwwww!!!! It’s hot!!!!!

ballsofsteelandfury

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nomonkeyfun

/feels hardening.

/in the arteries, too.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

Fuck, I forgot about that!
/Watches end of March of the Wooden Soldiers

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Ahhhh, get up you weenie. Not like it was frozen or nuthin’.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

TCTE.

The Maestro

Not quite sure what’s going on with this CBS documentary right now, but I do know that Marvin Gaye’s father was afflicted with a serious case of HuntingSon’s Disease.

Beerguyrob

Is Romo calling the game? Will the fans chant for his return?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I know that look.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Doktor Zymm

Woo! Imma play some Fallout and drink some bourbon, see y’all at the late game!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Boooooo CBS in “the city”!!!!!!